Perennial Fan,

I experience the same dilemma as you. Wait a minute! It's not MY dilemma, it's the 'techites,' dilemma. The problem's root, I believe, is selfishness, laziness, and a lot of narcissism on their part. The media environment just brings it out.

I am finding that my affection is wasted on some people, even close blood relationships. Realizing this, I direct my efforts, and all the more cherish and nurture people in my life who desire a real relationship, no electricity or batteries needed except for light bulbs and *flashlights (*torches for you Brits!).

Moses

You know, even as I'm writing this comment, I think to myself who should I respond to? If I respond to one person will everyone else assume I care about that person more than them? It's difficult to even decide who is worth my time, and who I should reach out to more.

Why would you say you lost church? It's probably still just where you lost it, unless they had to build a new one? As far as your daughter is concerned, shut off the money flow, she'll remember where you are.

Something to think about. Do you or they really have anything to say. Peoples lives are more diverse now than in the past. I receive a monthly checkup call from one of my husband's cousins asking how he is doing. After a conversation that could take two minutes asking how everyone is I get a rundown of their family members nieces, nephews, probably cousins of some sort who mean nothing to me. It was different when lives centered around the same activities or in the same town.

I agree Ken and Mailfleur.... When I was growing up we were surrounded with cousins, Aunts

& Uncles, Grandparents. Saw them every week-end...every Birthday, picnics

in the summer, etc., etc. My generation are all over the place...and I have

a phone call from time to time (and I am just as bad about calling) to siblings

and cousins. Birthday cards and an occasional e-mail. But, I'm kind of thankful for the technology...don't think I would ever get a handwritten letter.

And, as I said, sadly, I am not much better than those that are left, who are

scattered all over the Country.

Here's how I look at it. I live alone. Most of my friends are married. I find it better to text to see if they are available rather interrupt anything they may be doing. I like using it to set up dates and times to get together. I like nothing better than to meet up in person but texting is very useful to me to keep in touch. Now, it's true that I hear much more often from my friends than from my family. There are only a couple of those members that I speak to frequently, the rest I never hear from and they live in the same city.

It is interesting to me though that recently when my sister had to have emergency heart surgery, I was the central dispatch keeping people up to date on her situation. :)

Also, I can't stand it when people use kids as an excuse. Yea I know a lot of people have kids and they keep you really busy, but even when we were kids my parents took me to see my grandparents and my cousins once in a while (and they also visited us more often back then). I will admit there were times that I didn't want to go (most of the time I did though) and would've preferred to just stay home, but looking back on it I'm glad they took me. If my family isn't worth my love and concern, then who is?

Don't do Facebook, text or instagram. My son once said, "Mom, I wish you text.. There are times when I'm thinking of you but don't have time to talk and would just like to let you know I'm thinking of you." My response, just give me a call when you have time. He calls about once a week and we talk at least an hour. That makes me much happier than a 20 second text!

I don't do social media (except online forums, does that count?) and I am really out of touch when it comes to my brother's family. But I notice when we do get together, we don't have much to say to each other because we don't have anything in common anymore. I'm single and Mom passed away two years ago. I think Mom was the only thing we had in common!

Ken - I think you're onto something. I'm the youngest sibling in a large family, and when I was a kid and some of my older siblings were at college or setting up their own house, there were still family get-togethers all the time, most of us were within not too long of a driving distance. Sunday was "dinner" (lunch) at our house with talking, card playing, etc until evening, and in the summer it was BBQs at relative's house until the sun set and sometimes even later -- Sunday was church and family day. Not shopping, running errands, catching up on housework or whatever else day. Unfortunately I didn't cherish it when I was a kid but now I deeply miss all that.

Interesting question re: does anyone have anything to say? Unfortunately, I think people talk talk talk (or post post post) without really saying much - it's probably always been like that to at least some extent, but I think people are either pulled in so many directions they don't have time (or energy) to engage in intelligent, thought-provoking discussions or social media/the digital age has led to shallow understanding of things and hence shallow conversation, or both. It saddens me, and I miss the time before the digital age -- not because I'm an old fogey (I'm actually not that old - but old enough to remember PDA - pre-digital age) but because I find people just don't relate on much of an interpersonal level anymore and a true sense of community seems to be lacking - rallying together over the most current ridiculousness on the 'net or forwarding dumb emails about cute cat pics or whatever is NOT what a community is.

Anyway, technology has its pros and cons and I use it to the extent I have to for demands of work plus just a bit extra for relaxation, but I wouldn't be saddened if it all went POOF! tomorrow and some (well, most) days I wish it would -- except then we couldn't be on Gardenweb b*tching about it LOL!

And don't get me started on Twitter. It's just stupid. What is the point of it? I for one see the irony in getting my hand slapped because of the brevity of my work emails by a Twitter user (yes, I really did get "talked to" over this...)

I've thought about this issue quite often lately. Especially since I am a bad communicator via any electronics, phone included, but actually do a good job of seeing you in person. Being a homeschooler makes life so very very busy, but it is much easier to visit family at any time. So, we've done all the visiting, while few visit us.

I'm just not sure this is actually a new issue, if you ask me. I wonder, if you could go back several decades, if you would hear people sincerely lamenting the fact that in their day you grew up, got married, and had kids all within a 5 mile radius, but now kids are getting jobs in the next state, or across the country. I'm sure when TV was invented it was cause for great despair, because nobody talked when the TV was on. Same for the telephone. I'm sure many people complained that they didn't like these monthly phone calls and they miss the weekly Sunday dinners.

I will also say that all the points above about people not caring, not having anything to say, etc., are also all VERY VALID. They are probably true. I believe we (modern mankind) are selfish. I believe many of us may not call people we love, like parents, until we need something, or a major life event happens.

I just think we've actually possibly been on this path for longer than we think.

Technology first brought us together. Can you imagine heading west on the Oregon Trail, knowing you'd never see family again, and learning about the miracle of the telegraph? But now, perhaps, for several decades, it has been pulling us apart.

P.S. I actually hated the phone when I was silly goose teenage girl. Hated it. Still hate it. My mom used to laugh that I was so easy to parent then because I didn't want to spend hours on the phone. Guess what? Now, decades later, we both wish I wanted to spend hours on the phone. (sigh) Wish I could change.

I think of my daily email with my adult children as a running conversation. Sometimes serious subjects, sometimes the minutiae of the day. We look forward to it and enjoy photos especially. It doesn't take the place or frequency of get togethers at all. I think it just adds more to the conversation,

I don't think it replaces spending time together, how could it?

I dislike texting.....I would never be that attached to my phone.

If my family isn't worth my love and concern, then who is?

There may be many who are, lonely people near by who would love to have an expressive, kind person such as yourself in their life.

I think different people may possibly like different ways of communicating. For instance, I have extremely poor hearing and vision so I enjoy when people send me email updates. While I do have some difficulties reading I can read a little at a time at my own pace. But I do not care for FB, I prefer individual emails meant for me.

Sad.....but I am guilty of texting instead of calling. My family are so terribly busy that I feel they can text back when it is convenient. My kids do call once a week and we have a nice visit....but we never hesitate to call if something comes up that is important.

I think this is a hugely common phenomenon. I don't mind texting - it's quick, easy and convenient and at least I am assured some form of communication from the kid. But I draw the line a social media like FB, Twitter, Instagram, etc. I really do not need to know what everyone is doing at every minute of the day nor do they need to know what I am doing constantly. Or to be innundated with pointless 'selfies'. But as one of the few members of my extended family that is NOT on social media, I do get left out sometimes. The announcement of an engagement, the regular photo offerings of my grandniece and nephew on Foto Friday come to mind.

My sibs and I do talk on the phone frequently. My BFF (who is still working and lives a good distance away) and I email pretty regularly. And a few other friends keep in touch by phone. But we are all of a similar, pre-social media generation! My grown daughter and all my nieces and nephews almost never use their phones to talk........all they do is text or use FB, etc.

I love being Facebook friends with family and emailing and texting with them. I'm sorry you all dismiss these ways of communicating.

I don't have a cell phone so no texting for me. The problem with texting and facebooking and emailing as I see it, is that there is no emotional content in any of those communication methods. A smiling or frowning emoji - really?

We need more contact than that. We need to hear laughter and serious and to be able to tell if one is being sarcastic or joking. We need to be able to respond in kind or at least to understand the honest intent and not a perceived insult which was not the intent. We need to hear and understand the tones of a conversation and to feel the warmth of it.

Does computer communication have it's place sure, but it shouldn't be the primary form of communication.

And I'm sure there are exceptions.

It's the way of the world. I do agree with Murray in that it is a convenient way to touch base, "Yes, I'll meet you at 12:30." Social media can be a fun way to keep in touch. I'm on FB because of my daughters, but I have few friends listed and I don't post.

I'm on Instagram. It's a fun photo sharing site. I have a select group who I follow and who follows me.

All this said I do use the phone to speak to people. All this social media is in ADDITION to not in lieu of speaking on the phone.

When both DD's first started texting, they wouldn't answer their phones. At one point we would say call us and wouldn't engage in the text conversation. So, they then started calling.

Nowadays, we use both. Ken, the college years are tricky. But, out of respect for you, your daughter has to speak to you at least some of the time.

I also agree with Elmer. If you want phone calls and visits, make it clear and start to initiate so it will happen.

No. It's not an excuse. They just don't want to do it. If you really want to talk to someone, nothing can make you not want it.

This is a complicated subject ! I am in my 30s if that matters ( it does ).

I call my relatives that enjoy my calls . I have one aunt who likes to text . I am only on instagram and private so that people I don’t know or care for aren’t involved. I loathe Facebook and my friends my age do not get it . I always hear “well if you were on fb.... “ no thank you. I have witnessed crazy stories unfold that should never have been shared as well as 2 marriages destroyed from interfering leeches .

I am one of those who moved 600 miles away .. from a family and town where no one would dream of such a thing. Sometimes boundaries would be way overstepped by family so I was glad to get away from that . But now I have a daughter and do wish I had family close for her . But I’m afraid boundaries would be hard to fix so we stay put .

I miss family dinners but do not miss every single “event” being expected. We could never get a holiday to ourselves or have an excuse good enough to miss something.

Family time is different than I remember growing up . Sometimes I’m not sure if it’s good or bad , but it just is .

I don’t think FB is an excuse to miss out on in person get togethers ! I’m a hugger , and I sure do miss hugging family and seeing them and catching up. I’m sure it’s good for some people though! I find it sooo invasive how people find out everything on there . Not to mention all the tracking

graywings123, I too love being on FB, emailing and texting with my 4 kids and spouses and grands! Love seeing all the pics posted. I live from 3hours to 9 hours from my kids. These ways of keeping in contact with them is a blessing! BTW, not that it matters, but I'm 70. It's not just for the kids anymore!!!

My current job is kind of life sucking. I still call people, but honestly I would be completely disconnected from most of my friends and family if not for texting and FB. Family is spread out. It’s nice to be able to text them a quick note while I’m working - I wouldn’t be able to call but I can still talk to them. And I love emojis lol. And yeah, when you’re working crazy hours, weekends are the only time to run errands or do yard stuff :) so family get together don’t happen like they used to.

Everyone has different ways of communicating. I didn't see if you were just waiting for your family to reach out while you waited or if you were the one doing all the calling or you were doing all the calling but they rarely reciprocate or if you stated your wishes to your family or not. If you like calling and hanging out then you can initiate that, but if your family prefers other methods of communication that's not wrong either. Don't forget about video calls if you wanna see someone!

I rarely use Facebook but that's because I text and hang out with the people I care about. It's not social media that's the problem, even before social media if people wanted to be with me, they'd actually expend effort, but they don't even bother replying back. I used to feel the same as you and was so frustrated, but I learned to send messages with absolutely no/low expectations of response. If the other person decides to respond back, then that's good. If they don't, I let it go because again, if they really wanted to see or hear from me they would actually TRY, phone, social media, or none.

Something else funny, I can write emails and carry on conversations via email intelligently as far as sentence structure and grammar, etc. and even with humor; but when face to face with those people I am not the same confident conversationalist. It's like I'm a different personality when emailing - even when posting on forums. : ) I wonder why that is?

I have family from Anchorage to Auckland, Bali to Philadelphia.I do email and Phone. I just love Skype and my calling card (Penny Talk). I like the privacy and one on one of the phone and the photo sharing on Email. None of us do FB. We are distrustful of it.I do not like the lack of privacy. Thanks for reminding me . I need to call New Zealand, tonight..I do not get to see them often.

I am not on Facebook, but I love text messages. My husband, two daughters (25 and 21) and I have this group message thing set up. My husband is traveling a lot, most of the time I don’t even know what time zone he is in. Currently 6 hours ahead. There are messages and pictures daily. My mother in law calls the older daughter every Sunday morning and gets upset if she doesn’t answer the phone. I hear about it on the weekly unannounced visit and am supposed to text her to answer when grandma is calling. She doesn’t do anything with a computer. Mind you, my daughter is working the whole week, so if she is going on a hike with her boyfriend on a Sunday and not answering the phone it is not a major crime.

My kids and I text. I see DD more often because of the grand kids. DD is one that puts the most effort into seeing the family communicates and even she can't do it at times. I do a lot of FBing with DD.

I strongly disagree that it is selfishness, laziness, or narcissism nor that having kids isn't an excuse. Today's world is a lot tougher on families and young adults than in the past. The days of 5 day 8 hour work weeks are a thing of the past for many if not most.

Most families are two income. A lot of those families have 12 hour or longer days before they can sit down to dinner. Many parents work overlapping shifts. The little time they have left they try to make up to their children.

Even stay at home moms are different today. Kids can't just jump on their bikes and go outside to play. Schools no longer offer bus service. Carpools are nearly impossible with new car seat laws. Social activities are set through mom's groups. DD had exactly 50 minutes to herself last year for two days a week. Transporting one to morning kindergarten, daily and the other to preschool for two mornings a week across town left her just 50 minutes from that 3 hours "without" kids for those two days. Meanwhile dad is working every bit of overtime so kids have a parent at home instead of being put into the institution we call "daycare". Despite all the chaos DD worked from home as much as possible. So I am certainly not going to begrudge them family time by themselves over me time.

With traffic the day of dad coming home to a hot meal at 5:00 or 6:00 every evening is long gone. A two or more hour commute is not uncommon in some parts of the country.

Tech jobs? That's DS. 12 hour days? He wishes. More like 24/7. His wife works in an opposite direction. Some weeks they are like ships passing in the night. One day he dropped by here to pick up a package. The conversation went like this.
Me: Hi.
He: Hi mom, love you, (quick hug) gotta go catch a plane.
Me: I thought you just landed from Portland.
He: Yes, I just flew back and now I am going back fro the night to work and flying back in the morning. I just came by to see (his wife) for an hour and decided to stop by on my way to the airport to get this package.

That is his normal.

So before griping about the kids today not making time for us try and step into their shoes.

schoolhouse_gw My verbal skills are much like yours. I am a better writer than a talker. My best friend and I were just talking about this. She is the opposite. Verbally expresses herself much better than with the written word. Even her Facebook replies sound awkward. She thinks it's her spelling that causes her to choose the shortest words possible. I on the other hand have poor pronunciation skills which are made even worse since I became deafened.

To each his own? From its popularity it is obvious many enjoy these instant ways of "communication". It enables us to emote w/o imposing and listen only when we have the time. I agree in the end it is all very SELF driven. Those that are bemoaning not getting calls I want to say what my one daughter says to me CALL yourself. When my offspring went to college, the cusp of the cell phone age, we told them we will stay out of your life IF we hear from you once a week. You will get our financial support through college IF we hear from you once a week. Four years of that habit being set now that they are all full adults on their own in other states they call home once a week. Most calls last well over an hour, usually closer to two. We do email and I am a reluctant facebook friend. Frankly I find it mostly invasive and what I learn about their lives is just not for a mother's eyes!!! On the flip side I wrote my mother once a week kept her abreast of ALL my children's goings on. She responded occasionally and never bothered to send any encouragement to my kids as they tried out for plays or had performances. She lives one/two homes from my siblings. They were busy busy driving to the other grand children's games hours away. I am three hours away. I found out about a nephew's divorce via facebook. I quit writing. We all have different communication needs and we don't always have "family" who have the same. Sadly the person willing to give the least always sets the bar.

I'm so glad to see there are others who think like me left in the world. But then I'm an old f#%$ and won't be around much longer. IMO people who only want to FB, Tweet, text, take selfies all the time are just plain too self-involved which is the nicest term I could think of to describe them. They don't care what's going on in your life, they just want to promote their own. And they want it at their convenience, certainly not anyone else's. And I'm sick of hearing that everyone is so busy. Back in the day I kept a full-time job including lots of OT, raised and maintained a family and a home but still had time to contact close friends and family at least once a month by phone and usually more often than that. I even wrote letters to some of them who lived long-distance!! But this is how it is so I'm actually getting so I don't even reply when told "if you did FB you would know about it". And as for all this texting, my theory is that texting is so popular because it's easier to cover up doing it on the sly when you are supposed to be working or doing whatever your responsibility is at that moment.

My family, spread over 4 time zones and with wildly divergent schedules, uses a whole mix of contact that has kept most of us close. Texting is great for setting up a time to have a phone call since otherwise it is too difficult to find a common time available. We travel at least once a year to see various family members, but more regularly than that isn’t practical. My mom is seriously hard of hearing, so visits a couple times a year and frequent emails are our preferred means of communication. Two of my siblings and spouses are on FB and it allows me to see what they and their kids are doing unlike a phone call. I love watching a video of my niece’s activities on FB. One of my siblings and I cc emails to our mom to the whole family as well. My one sibling who keeps different hours almost 12 hours offset from my times of being awake, doesn’t respond to emails or have an answering machine, doesn’t have a text enabled phone, and doesn’t do FB, I generally don’t know what she or her family are doing. If it is an emergency, I call when I have time (ERs don’t like folks using phones) or email or text one of her kids. Otherwise I just can’t be bothered any more.

It's the opposite for me: my relatives all live in The Netherlands. Until Facebook, I didn't know anything about their lives. Now I get to see pictures, videos and share their lives with mine. It's the main reason I stay with Facebook.

I hate all social media , but it can be useful sometimes for family announcements .

My family & I do daily whatsapp but we talk frequently by phone too . Funny thing is I opened a secret Facebook account strictly so I can check rose and commercial vendors online sales and new releases .

I do enjoy keeping in contact with all my on line friends thru social media. I have a lot of rose friends from all over the world that I certainly could never go visit. And it is great for sharing pics with family and friends but I don't consider a "like" on my sister's post a visit, lol. But what do I know. My niece sits on the couch next to her husband and they don't talk to each other...they text!

I agree about the old days and having people pop in without any notice, those days are gone for some. For me, I'm content with the social media, I can message anyone from wherever I am and we have two fB pages, one for posting to my enormous family in the message board and the other for just my siblings who we message back and forth all day and night long. I absolutely love it as we can respond on the same page and chat. I do the same with my kids and grand kids and friends. etc. Yesterday my dil popped in to my house and stayed three hours talking and enjoying each other's company, I love that. I feel very connected to them via our chat rooms.

I have mixed feelings about this. To me things like texting and facebook are TOOLS to aid communication and can be wonderful, but they seem to have too often replaced it.

Many of my friends who went to facebook over the past 10 years or so seem very superficial and one sided now. They get up on their soapbox, preach or rant online, and then don't interact in any meaningful way. Many IRL friends have drifted away because it began to feel like they just wanted me to follow them, or worship them in the form of comments, rather than have a 2 way relationship.

OTOH, there are people I am interested in keeping up with, but have never had a super close relationship with. It's nice to see what nieces, nephews, and distant relatives are up to without having to do much of anything.

For me personally though, the whole social media thing has resulted in more isolation and loneliness from friends who prefer it for whatever reason. It probably depends on your friends and family though.

Wondering if others have found FB useful when communicating with people from other parts of the world. As I have posted before when my husband was at home my life was sitting in a chair next to him trying to block out his surround sound sports, westerns, etc. A friend suggested several sites and FB was one. Because of FB and its ability to translate many languages I now talk to people in countries I could never converse with because of the language barriers. The translation is not always smooth and sometimes can be embarrassing but it is better than not being able to convey your thoughts. Swedish has some very tricky words.

My family is scattered throughout the United States. I find social media is the easiest way, for all of us, to stay connected. I have a private FB group, just for me, and my siblings, to post. That way we can share, whatever we want, without everybody on FB, reading our intimate details about our life. Every couple of years, I plan a return trip, to my home state, and I'll set up a reunion. I rent a hall, sent out invitations.

I'm the other way around.

I am happy to text with my son now that he's far away. It has to be my substitute. We talked from 4:30-8:30AM yesterday, for instance. I wish my mom would text. She used to before, but not now??? Don't know why. She cannot hear at all, so calling her is not an option. It is a lesson in futility for us both when we talk via phone.

So she has to wait until we see each other in person to tell me anything she wants me to know or have any kind of conversation at all. That is not my choice. It is not like I am not refusing to go see her, but I work weekdays, and I live an hour round trip from her. Which isn't that long, but on top of rush hour traffic (which is 45 minutes at the end of the day)? That aint happening. That leaves weekends... when I have to do all the upkeep on my house by myself. I have to clean, go grocery shopping, replace windshield wiper blades, reseal the windows on my house, and whatever else needs to happen.

Church is another half day gone. So if she were to text me, we could talk longer and more often. Her loss. I'm happy to continue to see her just like I always have, but I can't increase the time since she's reduced the time we communicate.

I think it comes down to taking the initiative to do something about it. We started doing monthly family nights...supposed to be like game night but even then you don't really have time to talk to everyone. There have been a few times we've gotten together in a smaller group (actually to discuss the family nite schedule) and I always leave feeling like "that was nice" because we were able to have the time and sit and talk...but in order to have those times, someone needs to put the invite out there...right??

"Is social media an excuse to not talk/visit with family?"

Yeah, sometimes, with certain family members.

I don't do any social media. I'll email or sometimes text the kids. They're always moaning that I never phone them like their friends' mums do. My method of child rearing was and is benign neglect. They know they can always find a bed here. And I know I'll always find a bed at their places.

"Is social media an excuse to not talk/visit with family?"

Key to everything in life is finding the right balance. Social media should not REPLACE personal interaction. But that doesn't mean it isn't valuable as an "and" to family interaction.

High tech isn't going away. I really think it is something that should be embraced, and its place in families should be decided by the families themselves - how much is good, how much is too much. Should it replace face to face. Absolutely not.

If family members don't want face to face time, it's time to ask why? Perhaps we're getting to a point where people who don't want to spend time together have another option. Maybe this should initiate conversations as to why, that may help to bring families closer together if the issues are actually addressed. If it's just laziness and nothing personal, expectations should be made clear.

I'll be a champion for social media, ha.

It has completely revolutionized sports. All my favorite teams are able to update fans on whats going on via Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. I love being able to find out about weather delays, schedule changes, player injuries, etc straight from the source instead of waiting for a weekly press conference.

I like texting as well. It helps me keep up with a lot more family and friends. I don't have time during the evenings to call 10 people and talk for 30 minutes. Checking in while I'm at work is helpful, so I can "talk" to them, but don't have to stop whatever it is I'm doing. It allows me to communicate MORE actually, because now my window for communication is extended throughout the workday instead of those evening hours when I'm wiped out and don't want to be on the phone.

But yes, some folks do push the boundaries for everything.

EDIT: My family lives 800 miles away so my wife and I use FaceTime to let them see how our baby is doing. They enjoy it and it's much better than just a phone call of us telling them how the baby is.

I see social media as an "addition to", not an "instead of". I love texting, I have very poor hearing, especially on the phone, so texting is a blessing for me. I'm not apt to misunderstand what someone is saying, and no one is subjected to repeated requests to repeat something. It's also convenient. I can send a text when the thought hits me, knowing that the recipient can answer at their convenience. Same with receiving a text. My family, friends and I used email the same way before we all had smartphones. One sentence thoughts and ideas are sent as they come up. One doesn't usually make a phone call or write a letter to communicate a short thought. So for me, emails and texts have increased contact with others, not decreased it.

I love Facebook! I also have a Twitter account and an Instagram account. I honestly can't remember the last time I looked at Twitter, don't care for it. I do look at Instagram occasionally, mostly to see pictures family and friends have posted. Pictures I probably wouldn't get to see otherwise. But I drop in on Facebook for a few minutes several times a day. I enjoy the jokes that are passed around, I like the news updates I find there, I've gotten several good recipes there. I even enjoy some of the political postings. And last, but certainly not least, I enjoy the brief glimpses into the loves of family and friends that I probably wouldn't get otherwise. It keeps distant family members and friends and I up to date with each other. There are several whom I probably would have completely lost contact with without social media.

Does all this make me (or my friends and family) selfish, or self centered? Absolutely not! And I kind of feel sorry for those that think it does. You have no idea what you're missing out on! So many ways to expand your life!

And for the record, I am another "Old Fogie", getting mighty close to the big eight oh mark. And ready to use and enjoy whatever new life adventure my limited physical abilities allow me to use. Yes, I love social media and am very glad it came into being during my lifetime!

Rusty

I will rephrase my question. Is social media a GOOD excuse to not talk or visit with family?

Well, it's still not a simple 'yes' or 'no' question. It depends entirely on the family dynamics, in my opinion. The world we live in today, the one our kids are growing up in, is very VERY different than the world I grew up in.

Rusty

Like everything else in life, it can be good, it can be bad or sometimes both!

Example: I have a nephew that probably has Asperberger's. I say probably because my sister has never shared diagnoses with us. At any rate, this man who is now in his 40's was never able to socialize in his teens and young adulthood. But, the cyber world opened up many opportunities for him.

He has had two actual jobs in his life but they didn't last long. But, he started an online business that is doing well.

The good: he has a way of socializing and feels he has "friends."

The bad: Who are these people? One can never be completely sure online and the friends for him only stay online.

I think Rusty nailed it. It's social media used correctly.

I find social media this weird, powerful, addictive, helpful, mind-numbing, tool that I have a love/hate thing with. Every now and then I feel the need to take extended breaks from it. Most recently, I realized I was getting short-tempered and cranky, and not sleeping well. I realized there was a direct co-relation between my increased use of social media recently, especially as I have a long commute and it very easy to be suckered into it when you are commuting. My "friends" are constantly going on about whatever ridiculous government is in power - and it's like a non-stop rant that you can't help but be sucked in. Among other things. And constantly addicted to scrolling through Facebook feeds to see whatever it is your "friends" are doing, "liking" everything a mile a minute while at it. Can't sleep? Reach for the phone beside you and scroll through and see what your "friends" are doing and their latest pictures of their animals, family, or food that they just ate. Just woke up? Do same? Heading for a bathroom break? Reach for the phone...I realized I am being worn down. So, now I'm planning my next extended "leave" from this thing and planning to start reading a book or two while I'm at it...and NO, I WON'T be posting on Facebook what books I am reading!