Can we all please stop referring to breasts as boobs?
8 years ago
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In honor of breast cancer awareness month...I'm done!
Comments (27)Thanks. There are literally no other words I can say to express how I deeply your support has helped me. The other day my friend's 12yr dd asked me if I was cured. I had to pause a while because that has actually been on my mind a lot. I asked my dh when I am considered a survivor. He said after 5yrs. But once I stop taking the 5yr meds things could come back. So I very kindly explained to the girl that there is no way to really know. I will be watched closely and hopefully it is gone and never comes back. She simply said, "Oh." So I guess the best way to look at all this is that I am surviving every single day, one day at a time. I truly wonder, sorry to say but I think honesty is important amoung friends, that one day I will wake up with another lump and die the next day. It is not a fear that ruins my daily life, but it is a deep down heartfelt wondering that I think will just linger within me. I know many of you here have been in my same shoes and will assure me that life goes on. I know it does. Returning to work after 9months off is going to feel weird. Like I picked up where I left off. Kinda like I took a really long lunch break and now I am back to finish the days work. Like they say, life goes on. And so shall all of us. Again, thanks....See MoreBreast Cancer and Porno advice please
Comments (14)In my past I've had two experiences with SO's that had breast cancer. One had a lump-ectomy (if that's the way to say it) and the other a wedge-shaped excision. I was with them pre-diagonosis, through the procedures, and afterward. Sexually, it mattered almost not at all. Of course I had to be careful in physical handling at first, which I completely expected. That wasn't the issue. Getting through the physical healing was easy. What was hard with both women was convincing them that it didn't matter to me. Our relationships were much bigger than their boobs. However, neither of them believed that. Both got hung on the "imperfection" thing for the longest time. The period of constant questioning and reassurance seemed interminable. Huge mental problem -- for them, not me. That, too, I think is quite understandable. It would have been better for both of us if they'd believed me....but such things are very deep-seated, apparently. In the end, we came apart for totally unrelated reasons but it was an enlightening experience. Breast damage/reconstruction is a HUGE deal for women. Causes all kinds of troublesome thoughts. Basically saying if your husband is an untrustworthy prick, that's one thing. If the TWO of you are having trouble with the physical change, that's something else entirely. Where it may come down in your particular case, I have no idea....See MoreEcoSmarte System...can anyone provide a reference?
Comments (102)Let me save you and others from a potentially huge mistake. I have no grudge here. I only share my witness to a system that is not worth my time and has severely devalued our pool's appearance. This is probably not an option to consider if converting from another system. Converted from Salt one year ago and within one week the system began stealing my life. With the salt system, my pool service was invisible except for needing to pay for their work by check once a month. We had a beautiful pool. The Cu distributor kept promising results and installed a pH system and wired the Cu unit to my panel for automation. This system does not stop algae while at the same time it penetrates your plaster with copper stains until your bright white plaster becomes black. Where I never did anything before but enjoy the pool and receive compliments, I am a slave to shocking it 2 or 3 times a week and scrubbing algae every few days or so. Whatever the parameters are of my pool (Dallas TX, white plaster over Gunite, glass filter) - this system has destroyed the $85k appearance of the pool to something that would be better replaced by landscape. Algae develops no matter what the Cu or pH level. It's sneaky stuff. It begins as a clear slime you can detect on the cleaner hose. Then you can see its presence when you stir up the pool floor or steps with a brush--it kind of clouds when you stir it up. Then it begins to turn a very light lime green ever so slightly until BOOM you have a full tilt bloom in the water and on the walls. Your water clarity drops to about 30 inches. The only thing that returns clarity is shock (I use two pounds in a 17k gallon system) and to keep the system running. This is way more work and way more chemistry loading than ever was necessary with Salt. Our pool service winces each visit wondering how he can make it look like he was able to make it look with Salt. Guests look at the pool and ask, "What's wrong with your pool?" The distributor refuses to acknowledge the system does not work at this installation and insists on tweaking things. Tweaking things is not making the Cu staining go away nor decreasing the aggressive recovery of this Cu defiant algae. I can temporarily remove Cu stains with shock or acid, but the Cu staining is aggressively defiant as well at returning. We are insisting the distributor return the pool back to the condition it was prior to this black magic equipment was installed. He is in a difficult position now, but he gave his word he would replace it if it did not perform to our satisfaction. His work is of good quality, it's the equipment that just doesn't work as advertised at this installation. Consider yourself informed....See MoreNot Step related: Breast feeding rights
Comments (22)My mom had a terrible experience with a clogged duct and had to have multiple procedures to clear it up. I remember her having gauze crammed in an incesion in her left breast. They left the end of the gauze dangling out like a sick candle wick of sorts so they could pull it out and change it untill the infection had cleared.....scary! I very clearly remember her picking a scab off of it once and having LITERALLY a gallon of puss come pouring out of it. It was off putting to say the least. Doodledoo, when I was taking childbirth classes the instructor was excellent, and really knew what she was doing. At the end of our last class she told us this, "Breastfeeding does not hurt if it's done properly. If the nurses tell you it hurts, make sure you see the lactation consultant because it should not hurt." But when I had my baby it hurt like he!! to say the least. The lactation consultant was on vacation, but her fill-in told me, "Honey, it just hurts some people". Every nurse, every visitor, every doctor told me the same thing - sometimes it just hurts. So I just assumed the childbirth instructor was wrong, until one nurse came in toward the end of my stay (I had some problems and stayed longer than some moms). She told me it hurt her really bad, too, but the regular lactation consultant helped her, and it doesn't hurt if it's done correctly. This nurse couldn't tell me how to do it (it had been awhile), but when she was on duty she'd come in while I nursed and hold my hand and cry with me (yes, it hurt that bad). At the end of my third week, I couldn't stand it any longer. I called the hospital crying and got the regular lactation consultant. She told me to come in, and I packed the baby up (even though I wasn't supposed to drive yet) and went in. It was an amazing experience. Everyone else (except the one nurse) acted like I was a whiny baby. But the lactation consultant didn't even ask to see my chest. She stuck her finger in my baby's mouth, her eyes teared up, and she said with the deepest compassion I've ever heard, "Honey, I know you hurt, I know you hurt. Let me see your chest." By this time my nipples were cracked, bleeding, scabbed and infected. Just the weight of a light summer shirt hurt. I had to bite my knuckles and hands to keep from screaming when I nursed. The lactation consultant leaned over, took my wrist in her hands and pressed it gently. She said, "That's what it should feel like when you nurse. Let me show you." As she positioned my baby, I flinched and prepared to bite myself to keep from screaming. She positioned the baby at my breast and held his tongue and jaw in place, and it felt like a butterfly landing on my arm. Absolutely no pain. It turned out my son had a problem with the way he sucked. I gave up breastfeeding anyway. I was going to have to have a helper every time I breastfed - one who would learn how to position the baby's tongue and jaw and hold it in place. My family didn't have any more vacation time, so I quit. I don't regret quitting - I was exhausted and needed to get well more than my son needed to breastfeed. Anyway, when I had my second child, I knew better. I had her at a different hospital, and she hurt me, too. Again, the nurses and the lactation consultant said, "Honey, it just hurts, you just have to toughen those nipples." I smiled sweetly and said okay, and had my husband make me an appointment with a private lactation consulting firm. As soon as I checked out of the hospital we headed straight for the private consultant. They didn't have the absolute amazing genius of the one who helped me with my son, but they gave me a lot of help. I nursed her through her first year and started weaning her at 13 months. My nipples never got very sore, never bled, never cracked, never got infected. My daughter had a problem with her palate that caused the problem, but no one at the hospital even checked. Here are my suggestions if you want to breast feed: First, the vast majority of doctors don't know beans about the comfort issues of breastfeeding. They are great about illnesses, diseases, etc., but not breastfeeding. Second, if you use nipple shields (I did with my 2nd child), just be aware that you can get mastitis more easily that way. The lactation consultant I had with my second child told me after I finished breastfeeding to make a circle out of my hands and encircle my breast with both my hands at the very top (like way up under my arm). Starting at the top is very important. Then slide the circle of your hands down your breast, squeezing gently. I can't remember exactly why, but I think you're massaging the milk out of your ducts. Also, another thing you can do is this: before you start to nurse, do the above-mentioned massage. This should get the milk massaged down so you will let down faster. I don't know if I'd do that right away, but after the first week I would. This shortens your nursing time a little, because the milk lets down earlier. I'm glad I breastfed my daughter. Our budget was tight and it's lots cheaper. It was also way easier in the long run (I was a SAHM). A few diapers and wipes and we were ready to go, no bottles, no formula. Breastfeeding is also an enforced rest time for the mom - I would have been up cleaning and doing laundry while everybody else bottle fed the baby. If I had had more children, I would have breastfed them even if I worked, because I enjoyed it. I never thought I would - I always thought it was a little icky, but I enjoyed it after the first 3 months. It is pretty icky to me at first - all the leaking, etc. till your body gets used to it is just unpleasant (to me). I am a firm believer that every mom should do what she thinks works best for her situation and her family's. If you ever decide you don't want to breastfeed, then don't. My oldest is just fine and he was bottle fed after the first 3 weeks. But please don't put yourself through the he!! I went through and your mom went through because people tell you it just hurts sometimes. If that nurse could put my son on my breast without hurting, then I know breast feeding doesn't have to hurt. I will say that my breastfed daughter has a much better immune system than my bottle fed son. That may just be coincidence. Anyway, I still don't regret quitting breastfeeding him. That was just too much pain to endure when there are bottles and formula. I tried not to write a book here, but my heart just goes out to any woman who might hurt so badly while breastfeeding, and if I can spare somebody a part of the agony I went through, I want to do that. I wish you a safe childbirth and a healthy, happy baby....See More- 8 years ago
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Annie Deighnaugh