I don't know of any books, but I'm wishing both of you all the best and sending prayers and good thoughts for a smooth and easy recovery!

Have been around Westchester, LA and Culver City Sony Studios many times, it would not be surprising that I had by chance encountered you guys serendipitously.

Let me send you good vibes, and hope you guys get back to normal soon. Actually, a new normal.

dcarch

A friend of mine was going to have the surgery. She had to go to classes to learn what she could and could not do. You should already have this information. Your husband may not have paid attention or passed on the information that he received. Although you may not want to do so start looking at the information he received.

A word about the gas. Depending on type of surgery one of the things that is done is pump the abdomen full of air so that the lining is not resting on what is being examined. Some people have no problems with it but other people find it painful. While it may be caused by what he is being fed it is more likely the pumped in stuff.

It is not likely that the nurse will do more than check his wound and for possible bedsores. You need to talk to the facility that he is at to discuss after care rather than talking to him about it. You may find that you will need additional equipment such as a "Sit to Stand" hoyer type thing. You ask the questions rather than relying on your husband you could be doing more harm than good. I have a husband and know that most do not give the full information but only the parts they think are important.

maifleur01, I'm not sure which husband you are talking about, but I do not have one. I live with my brother, Kevin.

On my other thread, I did mention that I have every intention of being with Kevin when he gets released so that I can listen to all of his release information and ask as many questions as possible. I will write them down before I go, as I have been feeling a bit weak lately myself.

I'm having grab bars installed in both bathrooms tomorrow at 4:30 pm, and I also ordered a teak stool. If Kevin does not like it, I can keep it for myself, and he can pick one out for himself. Our sister told us that we need it. She also has grab bars in both of her bathrooms, but she is even older than I am, and her husband is 15 years older than she is.

Sorry Lars I thought Kevin was your husband. I took care of my husband before he was sent to a nursing home and are aware of some of the stuff available that can be used like the "Lift to Stand". From my other comments you may have seen my suggestions of a POA. You at least need a release giving you permission to talk to the various medical people about Kevin's care. Once he is home the doctor/hospital may have arranged to have various equipment delivered so do not be surprised if you have to answer the door several times the first couple of days. I do not remember what my friend told me about supplies but she was expecting a bunch to be delivered. She had been following the eating plan that the place she was going to for preparation for the surgery and lost enough weight that she decided she would postpone the surgery.

Depending on how much your brother weighs since you are saying you are feeling weak home may not be the best place for him or you.

The url for the site linked below may not look like what you're looking for...but it is...and more. There are a myriad of internet sites that will be amazingly helpful for you and your brother if you put "ostomy" into your search engine rather than "Bariatric".

The main thing for Kevin to remember is CHEW...chew...chew!

Over my life time I've had several friends who have had similar surgeries and who wear stoma bags. They all lead wonderfully normal lives once their surgery has healed and they decide which foods they want to include in their diets. There really are no forbidden "fruits" so to speak. It just depends on the price you want to pay for some of the lesser advised foods. If you're out in company and someone offers you a heavy gas producing food...you sure don't want to partake. On the other hand...in the privacy of your home...where you can flee to the back yard and fresh air...a big bowl of broccoli...or chili..might be just the thing you can't resist a moment longer.

Have a look at this site, Lars. I think it will help you and relieve some of your fears for Kevin...and yourself.

https://www.stomabags.com/blog/ostomy-recipes

I think he is going to get a daily nurse now, as his condition has not improved that much, and they still don't know when they will be able to release him. It takes time for colostomy bags to start working properly, and this has to happen while he is in the hospital. I'm going to see him tomorrow to take him a razor and some shaving cream, as he did not take that with him. I'm wondering if he will be able to stand up to shave in his bathroom there. I have to go fairly early in the morning (traffic will be light at Saturday morning) because I have a workman scheduled to install grab bars in our bathrooms Saturday at 4:30, and I have to be home for that.

I believe that Kevin assigned me as his power of attorney (if that is what POA means), but the doctors have been very communicative with me regarding his conditions. We will be taking some equipment home with us from the hospital, but there may be additional equipment required, and so I hope that can be delivered.

Because of my own recent surgery, I will not be able to lift my brother, and I think he may need a temporary walker.

Ask the doctor how to get him a handicap sticker for the car. He may need one for a while.

dcarch

POA is a power of attorney. You need to have a copy of it to be able to show anyone that does not want to communicate with you. It does need to state it is a power of attorney for at least medical decisions as there is another document that is similar that gives you the right to make medical decisions, here called a living will or medical directive, that some will not accept.

A word to the wise to prevent you from being responsible for charges is to sign his name then by and your name. If your POA is also for financial not just medical add the POA. This handy little bit of information was given to me when my dad had a stroke by the hospital social worker. I have since known people who had to pay for things including hospital charges because they only signed using their own name.

Someone will probably deliver a walker and that is how you should sign. Do some reading in advance of him being home so that you can ask questions. Too many times you are handed stuff, told that the instructions are there, but the instructions are not clear. A hospital will tell you to call your doctor but you may not be able to wait for a call back.

My concern was about helping him sit up and or being able to turn him in bed on those days he did not feel like getting up might injure you.

Good luck.

Kevin will definitely need a handcapped sticker for his care for the three months that he will be recuperated. Thanks for that advice - I will forward it to Kevin.

Kevin does have a living will, but believe me, I am extremely careful about anything I sign. When I was in the hospital two weeks ago, they tried to get me to sign a document without reading it, telling me that they had told me everything that was in it. I told them I would not sign anything I had not read, and so the surly nurse left the room while I read the document. Then I started marking through all of the information that was incorrect, and when she came back, she told me I was not supposed to do that and that I had voided the document. Then someone else came in to explain the parts that I had marked through. She also told me that I was correct not to sign something that I had not read.

My husband had a very similar surgery 20 years ago. He is well and enjoys a pretty normal diet. The consuling available is very limited . It is a learning experience finding how foods react. Spicy things cause loose stool. There is a list of foods that will counteract what he is experienceing. If you are not given a list. Post here and I will copy my husbands. I know smooth peanut butter thickens. Saltine crackers control odors. There are a number of suggestion. The most important thing I can tell you is chewing thoroughly is very important. If Kevin is a fast eatter he must s low down and chew. The things that should be consumed in very small amounts or not at all . Are popcorn, mushrooms, whole corn, like niblets or fresh corn on cob. And nuts. None of these foods get fully digested and can ca use an obstruction. The obstruction will become appatent very quickly. Nothing will be passing to bag, becomes painful quickly. Go to ER if that occurs . We were never informed that it can turn into a life threatening issue until we ended there the first time.

There is a product called Just a Drop. Not easy to find locally, They have a website. Make various sizes for home or travel. Eliminates bathroom odors.

He will learn how soon his body will react to a meal. My husband plans site seeing activity by having a smaller breakfast or lunch. So a bathroom break is easier to plan. It is all very doable.

I wish you success with your surgery, have many friends that have had success . Requires making a plan and doing what it necessary. Your postings indicate you are a great cook. You can make your life change more varied and interesting

I agree with others, the visiting nurse will take vitals and help instruct on how to change the colostomy bag, but will not cook, and may not be a good source of specialized nutritional information. The hospital should send him home with enough supplies for a few days, but you will want to order supplies ASAP. Not carried by local stores, so you order from a specialized supply house. The nurse should help getting started with that. Kevin should have a wound-care specialist see him before discharge at the hospital, and you should probably be there for the consult at that time. That's very important. And Kevin should ask the hospital about an ostomy support group, and attend as much as possible.

Best of luck, it's just seems overwhelming at first, but I'm sure Kevin will do fine.

My only suggestion is that, when you go to get him checked out, or for any appointment where they are giving you advice, carry one of those pocket recorders!

I used to take a relative of a relative who's kids lived all over the country to her cancer treatments. Even though I listened intently, I would forget half of what was said, just cause they talked so fast and expected me to retain it!

Each visit I would let them know I was going to record the visit, and I was able to review the whole visit and e-mail all of the relatives a full report of each visit.

This would be very helpful for these visits (and grocery lists! And tons of other stuff!)

Good luck! Nancy

"---carry one of those pocket recorders!---"

Or use your cellphone to record.

dcarch

duplicate post deleted

"---The most important thing I can tell you is chewing thoroughly is very important. If Kevin is a fast eatter he must s low down and chew---"

Known as Fletcherism.

dcarch

Thanks for all the great advice - it is so nice to have all of this information together in once place. I may have more questions later.

Not sure if I can record on my cell phone - I've never done that, but I'm very good at taking notes on a notebook, and I force people to slow down if they are talking too fast. I won't let them tell us something that I am not able to write down.

I got pretty good info from my bariatric surgery notebook, but it was not organized well and is difficult to find specific information. Most of it I am learning/memorizing, but I think there will be a lot more with Kevin. I think a support group will possibly help him the most, and maybe he can make friends there.

Thanks especially for your advice, Marcopolo - I will copy all of that into a notebook. Kevin already knows that he will not be able to eat popcorn again, but we did not know about the dangers of other foods. I will make a point to ask the releasing staff about all of this.

Lars, here's a link that will take you to 65 pages of recipes for post bariatric surgery patiens. It's a PDF text. It's by Mayo Clinic, so bound to be reliable:

https://www.google.com/search?ei=AV55W6rrBcSNgAbH94-wCw&q=mayo+clinic+pdf++bariatric+surgery+recipes&oq=mayo+clinic+pdf++bariatric+surgery+recipes&gs_l=psy-ab.12...0.0.0.4752.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0....0...1..64.psy-ab..0.0.0....0.g4ae5SRtMEw

Please click on the first search result. I couldn't link directly to the PDF, so I linked the search results so you can access the PDF from there.

"---Not sure if I can record on my cell phone - I've never done that---"

To record voice (voice Memos) on an iPhone:

https://support.apple.com/en-us/HT206775

For Samsung:

https://www.verizonwireless.com/support/knowledge-base-203749/

For others, Google your phone model.

dcarch

Wintercat, I had also found the Mayo Clinic information and had already downloaded it as PDF. It is very good but it also a direct duplication of what I got from UCLA. I received the Bariatric Cookbook yesterday, but I haven't started looking at it yet. I got a book called The Complete Book of Food Counts, and it looks extremely helpful. It makes it very easy for me to look up calories, protein, at carbs, etc - much easier than trying to get the information on line or from a web site. Eventually I will just know what is in all the food I'm eating, but for now I am still using quite a bit of protein powder, as it allows me to get sufficient protein and stay in my calorie limit.

My phone is a Samsung, as is Kevin's, and so perhaps we can use that for recording voices. Thanks!

The Mayo Clinic says I might have trouble with spicy foods, but that has not been the case. I started using hot sauce on day 14 with no ill results. I'm not eating anything crunchy or with texture yet, except crushed ice.

Lars, sometimes physicians don't think of or remember everything - you might have Kevin keep a list handy of things he or you want to ask or might need for the next visit. Sounds like Kevin will need a walker, and a bedside commode. The commodes come in very handy. If the physician prescribes those, they can be delivered to your home and set up for you - insurance covers that. You can keep the bedside commode from having too much an odor by pouring water in it, along with some Lysol, mouthwash, or a fragrant soap. If you find your floors are slick for the walker, put tennis balls (cut an X in them to slip the walker feet into them) and put them on the walker feet. Most, however, come with nice grips on the bottom.

I'd take any offer of help you get Lars, as you both need to heal. As others have said, don't neglect your diet (sorry, not trying to mother you, but I can't help it!)

Edited for typo (and then I spelled 'typo' wrong! LOL!

I was going to visit Kevin today, but he was having more X-rays to try to figure out what is going on, and since I was feeling weak and dizzy this morning, I told him it would be better for me to wait until Tuesday. We still don't know when he will get out, but now I'm guessing Thursday or later.

I am going to start a list of questions and requests to give to the doctors when he does get released, as the way I feel now, I could easily forget something.

Don't apologize for mothering! It's something everyone needs.

If you continue to feel weak and dizzy perhaps it is time to check with your doctor. I do not remember if you said how long ago your surgery was so it may be normal but better to check than to have a problem.

Lars,

I'm a little late to the party, but here goes.

I had bariatric surgery in 2005 (bileopancreatic diversion with duodenal switch). My results were, let's just say, less than stellar. It was done laprascopically and I was sent home after 3 days (From Louisiana to Florida). After two weeks, I was admitted to our local hospital and taken by ambulance back to Louisiana, where I was in a medically-induced coma for 5 weeks and had two more surgeries to correct FOUR leaks and sepsis. I damn near died. I spent a total of 3 months in the hospital and had to learn to walk again.

Learning to eat again was a major hurdle, to say the least. Protein is of the UTMOST importance for Kevin. Until he is able to handle regular foods, I recommend broth, soups, and protein drinks. Good old Southern chicken and dumplings, I believe, saved my life. I was actually sent home with a feeding tube - which fell out after 4 days at home, so I HAD to eat.

Please convey my best wishes to Kevin on his recovery. Tell him to take it easy on himself, but to be open to trying new things. It is simply a matter of find his new normal (and it took me TWO years to do just that). There are still things I cannot eat without hurling - one is fried catfish. No rhyme or reason - he will just have to try.

Thanks for the cards, Sooz! They are very cheerful and we have mine displayed - Kevin's is being forwarded from the hospital because he got an early release, and I'm not sure that was a good think. He's having trouble at home (he was released Tuesday), and a nurse came in today about 11:00, soon after I returned from my own doctor's appointment.

Pat, sorry to hear about your horrible experience with bariatric surgery - I think it has changed in the past few years, and mine went perfectly - except for the catheter episode that I won't go into. I'm still seeing a urologist about that, and I have an appointment with him tomorrow at 11:45. I'm able to drive now okay, but I don't feel like driving early in the morning. Still, I expect to go back to work Monday, Aug 27. My commute it 1.3 miles, and so if I don't feel up to it, I can always easily go home. I've walked to work a few times, but I would not walk home at night, and I like to go home for lunch.

I'm going to have to read up on Kevin's diet. We're not sure about the cabbage thing - I'm supposed to eat it, and it's on his list of what not to eat. He thinks if it is cooked it will be okay. I cannot eat raw vegetables yet.

From a friend's experience, cooked or uncooked cruciferious veggies will give him gas. He may have to swear off those things for good, or only in extremely small bites on rare occasions.

I'm glad to hear that he's home. You'll both be fine, just a day at a time.