dark paint mdf vs. colored thermofoil are two very different approaches. Might be better to narrow down your style preference and then look at a couple ways in the marketplace to get there.....then do evaluation of warranty/cost/specs and customization. What is your kitchen to be like? Cabinets are a big ticket item so think of your ideal for your space.....I wouldn't do dark paint and I wouldn't pick thermofoil unless there was nothing else....Why don't you start with maple with a light caramel stain for instance....something classic/easy to source/ that can work with great counters /great floor and won't break the bank.

Honestly I think most decent semi custom cabinet brands or IKEA should be fine with kids. We had Bertch cabinets in our last house when my kids were little (moved in when oldest was 18 months, moved out when she was 12), and they still looked like new when we moved. My kids are normal kids who don’t destroy things but also aren’t conscious of how they are using them. I will say though the kitchen was small and the kids didn’t actively “play” in the kitchen or with the cabinets, so the wear and tear from the kids was normal stuff, “hanging” on doors heavier than they should (basically leaning weight on the top or bottom of the door while looking in cabinet), jumping on counters (which by nature kicks the lower door), stuff like that. They weren’t banging toys into the cabinets (at least not frequently) or marking them with a marker or anything like that. Normal kid cabinet use, vs kids going wild in the kitchen. I would expect any solid semi custom brand or IKEA to withstand normal family use. Few are going to withstand abuse and still look good.

In my opinion stain is going to hold up better than paint with heavy use/wear and tear. I know nothing about thermofoil.

About to start installing Ikea + thermofoil semihandmade doors in our kitchen with an enthusiastic 2-year-old in the mix, so I'll let y'all know how they do! (also - the doors are beautiful! we haven't assembled them yet, but I'm excited!)

Goodness, do people really have to give their parenting advice on here (rolling eyes). I am just now replacing my builder grade factory painted cabinets after 14 years in my house starting with very rambunctious (i.e. normal) 1 and 3 year olds. I'm sure we had crayon marks and slamming cabinets and hanging on cabinets at points in time but they looked remarkably good despite that. I also have a friend (with kids close in age) who has IKEA cabs and wasn't so thrilled with how they turned out over the years. So I would go with a little better quality and hope that quality helps with the wear and tear over the years.

There is a difference between normal wear and tear and abuse.

Some people’s normal wear and tear won’t show up on cabinets in 30 year’s time. They live lightly, and take care of their things, and treat their cabinets like the fine furniture that they are.

Some people’s new cars look like 10 year old hoopties in two year’s time. The live very heavily. And they don’t understand why their stuff wears out, and their neighbors doesn’t.

If the OP has untamed unruly hellions, she likely needs to investigate cabinets made for exterior wear and tear. That will hold up to interior abuse far better than the standard fine furniture for your kitchen will do.

My oldest one loved climbing inside drawers (she would empty them and then sit inside in a tiny ball), and she bent a rail of a large pull out one because it was all the way out. That is the only quality issue we had related to a kid being able to destroy something. As drawers are very popular now, that would my only concern going with something that might have lighter duty hardware... my other 3 never found drawers as entertaining ;)

I have three young children and IKEA cabinets with custom doors painted white. I've put enough fear into my kids not to mess up the cabinets and they seem to now channel their destructive instincts elsewhere. White works better because all the dirt is visible immediately. I clean up minor things and major things are for the maids to handle.

I raised (normal?) kids as well, and never had them write on cabinets/walls or anything like that. Different strokes for different parents, I guess. Regardless, I think given the level of investment one makes in kitchen cabinets, you're being pennywise and pound foolish if you're worried about a time period that goes by in the blink of an eye - it always amuses me how people design/make major house decisions/etc. around "little" kids; they're "little" for such a short time. If you're really that concerned, hold off for 5 years, then do what you want. They'll be running the neighborhood before you can turn around, and then you'll be wondering how or where you can fit a bigger fridge/pantry in your space because they're eating you out of house and home....

I have to agree with wiscokid. We moved into our home when it was 4 years old. It was a spec house and the builder upgraded the cabinets with birch stained wood ones (standard was oak). I had 2 kids back to back, so I had 2 under 2. They are now in high school. It is amazing how fast that time went.

My birch cabinets have held up very well. My kids were "normal" kids and took my pots and pans out to play with them. They occasionally slammed a door as I don't have soft close hinges. But for the most part, we taught them to treat things nicely and thus they are still in good shape.

I admit I don't know much about thermofoil but my neighbors have a 3 year old kitchen with painted cabinets. Their kids are teenagers and I can see the paint chipping a bit in some areas, especially around the garbage drawer. My cousin had her cabinets professionally painted and the same thing is happening. So I'm not sure if painted cabinets would be a great option.

However, if painted cabinets are what you've always wanted, I'd probably get that. Teach your kids not to bang on the cabinets. :)

Lightly stained or natural (no stain) wood cabinets. No thermofoil; no paint.

Wow, thank you everyone for their advice and tips! I was honestly expecting 2 responses but very grateful for the varied perspectives everyone provided.

I would say our kids are "normal" and don't expect crazy abuse to the cabinets but at the same time I want to be realistic. My kids enjoy helping in the kitchen and I want to continue encouraging their enthusiasm while it's still there. I don't want our kitchen to feel like a museum or the type of house where we cover our couch with plastic sheet and only use the "good" china for special occasions. Hence, while I agree it is my job to teach them not to be "unruly hellions" they are still learning, not just manners but physical coordination that will warrant doors being slammed, items being knocked into things, or understanding why we can't do certain things without killing their spirit. Accidents happen and it's part of life. I'm just looking to understand which of the two will be the path of least resistance.

It sounds like painted doors are prone to chipping and scratching regardless of who is using the kitchen. I was hoping to hear whether or not repainting is a costly hassle but since there was no mention of it in the comments I will assume it's normal maintenance and not to worry about it?

I have looked into stained wood cabinets but it doesn't work with the aesthetics we are aiming to achieve.

Thank you to the parents for sharing your aftermath stories and how the cabinets held up. It gives me hope :P

Recently saw someones kitchen who had it "professionally" repainted, when she quoted the high price I had to bite my tongue not to say she could have probably bought new cabinets, that would have looked better, for the same amount. Costly and didn't look so good.

What brand are you considering?

Whichever you choose, just don't expect to maintain perfection and you will be fine.

Even a careful adult can sometimes drop a knife, or a can, and the edge will contact the cabinet.

I had cheap plywood cabinets that I painted (before my remodel) and was amazed at how well the paint job held up over 10 years -- and I hadn't even used cabinet specific paint. However, my child was about 10 when I painted, so past the most awkward years but still prone to spilling and dropping things at times.

I'm afraid that I don't understand what you meant by "understanding why we can't do certain things without killing their spirit" (not that it is really pertinent to answering your question). Failing to learn appropriate self discipline and carefulness can be quite spirit killing in the long run IMO.

I commend you for taking the unsolicited parenting advice so graciously. I also have kids (older than yours); and while I do teach them to take care of our things, I also know that part of the learning process is occasional failure. And I have certainly made home renovation and furnishing decisions that reflect that reality.

I agree that clear-coated or lightly stained solid wood will hold up best because it will not show scratches and the like as much. Since that doesn’t work for you, I would just try to get good quality in whatever you choose. A good factory finish will hold up a lot better than a regular paint job. I don’t know much about thermofoil, but I think I have read about it delaminating? So I would try to figure out whether that can be avoided by buying good quality.

I think stained wood cabinets are more forgiving than painted.

That said, I think there is a HUGE difference between the normal wear and tear that happens in a kitchen by adults as well as normal reasonably behaved children.

Kitchens cabinets are NOT dining room tables or other furniture. They are intended to take the normal wear and tear of spills and drops and bumps. There is going to be more wear on ANY normally used kitchen than a dining room table. At least in my experience, dining room tables had special mats that were taken out to protect the surface although now the style has gone to place mats but typically one wouldn't put wet glasses or hot places on a dining room table.

I don't think swinging on cabinet doors or slamming into them with scooters or skateboards is what the OP is attempting to protect against :-)

Ahmee - I don't know the size of your kitchen but in general, quotes are in the thousands, like $5-6,000 to have cabinets professionally painted. Even repainted, they're never going to have as good a factory finish as new. There's also other factors that can determine how fast painted cabinets do or do not last - do you live in a humid area? Do you live in the dessert? (both of which can give paint a shorter life) Are you looking at simple shaker or slab type cabinets or something more intricate? (from what I've seen of my friends' homes, the intricate doors tend to chip faster as well).

I've got a painted vanity in my kids' bathroom and foil cabinets in my kitchen, so I think I can speak to this fairly well... My kids aren't unruly or particularly hard on things. They are kids though, so the stool used for toothbrushing or cupcake mixing hits the cabinets. After a couple years of use our painted vanity is showing a fair amount of wear and tear. The paint is a pale grey, so not a very stark difference from the wood underneath. There is definitely missing paint, but it's not crazy noticeable because of the similar colors. I think if it was a dark paint the wear would be far more obvious. My foil doors (IKEA) on the other hand, show absolutely no wear. There was an incident where I dropped a knife that weirdly managed to scar a drawer front, but, as is the beauty of IKEA, I spent less than $50 to replace the drawer front. So, all told, I'd never do painted kitchen cabinets. Ever. I would 100% do a good quality foil again.

My parents never mentioned that we children ever ruined any kitchen cabinets or other house furnishings, and I'm sure they would. I mean, I got constant reminders during my youth about the time I crayoned my bedroom wall when I was two years old...

Get what you like!

You crayoned the walls, but never damaged anything. Irony.

I'd say(probably repeating some posts)..in order of preference

-stain

-good quality thermofoil

-painted

Some people are harder on things than others, age doesn't matter. My teenage son moves around and things stay the same. And everything's on its place. My older daughter is a storm coming-she has many redeeming qualities, but yes, she moves-and all the house seems to move with her:) My husband is a natural -whatever can be scratched will be scratched, whatever can be spilled will be spilled, whatever knife or fork can bump into these cabinets, they will, and as he's a night owl I won't find it until the morning..he'll think he cleaned too, but I'd have to redo it with less chance to successfully remediate. On another hand-I'm grateful to have an amazing husband who helps me with cooking so much. So i bite my tongue for the most part.

Also different kids have different motor skills. I knew two little girls (two and a half year each). Both very sweet and not unruly at all. One inherited her father's genes probably(he was a gymnast) Never I saw a child moving and jumping so.. precisely. She had crazy skills. she was like a monkey. I don't know how she figured distance between her and the object. She fell only once during a course of a year. Another little girl was somehow naturally clumsy..she would stumble upon things or just fall, up to several times a day sometimes. Luckily her sunny personaity prevented her from being constantly upset about it..but yes, she needed to be watched over much more. For her own good. She was more accident-prone kid.

I have looked into stained wood cabinets but it doesn't work with the aesthetics we are aiming to achieve.

We don't know what your aesthetic is.

If it's full bore contemporary, then HPL would be the best choice. But I don't think it's contemporary because real wood cabinet doors work there, too.