If you hate it, paint it (or have it painted).

I agree--if you've tried everything and still do not like it, then make a change. Paint all the trim, and maybe do a darker stain on some of the featured areas, like the mantel, bannister, etc.

I would paint the trim, molding, doors and wainscoting white. Stain the feature items like fireplace, beams, flooring etc darker.

agreed... begin with painting the 'trim', you may like the 'solid' wood more when there is far less of it.

Well,if you are not going to paint the trim etc.,tackle the problem room by room. Look at the distinct space and find ways to downplay the oak,while keeping the flow from room to room. How open are your spaces? What style...Craftsman? 80s contemporary? How much light do your rooms get and how open to each other are they? I've seen oak quiet down with white and wallpaper and also with deeper colours in furnishings
and/or walls. (note the different wall colours in the second picture below) Basically,like all decorating, envision and plan. Without pics from you, it is impossible to give better
advice.

https://cupofjo.com/2016/06/st-paul-house-tour-minnesota/

Let me throw in some pictures! That would help!

one more...

It is a lot of wood, but, It sure is beautiful. I would never paint that. You have the advantage of never having to go through touching up chips or nicks or scratches with paint. If you should get a chip or nick or scratch in your trim, it is a simple easy fix with a bit of stain. My last house had all stained trim, and In 18 yrs, I never had to do any touch up. I have painted trim here, and lots of great grand kids, and I touch up about 4 times a yr.

I think you need to paint your walls a different color.

That change alone may give you what your seeking.

what color(s) would you suggest?

following ...

Love it. Total arts and crafts style trimwork. Greys with no yellow undertone.

So grey can work (was told to stay away from greys lol)?!?! What colors can be used for furniture? I love love love the picture shared here that pulled in the blues/tans in the furniture and the walls look cream...

Yeah,Steph,that Lake Front Tudor is a great example of a restricted and harmonious palette that isn't dull or overly matchy. The coolness reigns supreme even with all that wood ;-) According to the designer,the colour used in that room is Benjamin Moore Natural Cream. Maybe it would work for you,too. But light,lighting and monitors make it impossible to choose easily. Still, probably worth testing a sample. Maybe try these guys / http://samplize.com/ Me, I'd also test out Pale Oak and Seapearl and decide which direction you prefer.

ps- I can see why you don't want to take on painting all that wood.

All your wall color is wrong for the trim. That awful fleshy beige is not going to cut it. Take one room and change it to something cooler, and darker. You're in the woods and trees, a pale tone is going to die a death of limited natural light. I see no rug on the floor. You can't paint a room into the light, you can decorate it into a wow. I'd get myself a big bucket of Ben Moore Hale Navy.................!!! Grab a roller. You'll see the leather in the room come alive. Now........get a rug! Or the deepest rich and leafy green could be great! Don't go lighter, go darker. Put some LIFE on the floor. In other words, decorate and make the wood an asset that it is. You will be stunned. Lighter woods and deep walls play very well together.....all rooms need decor regardless the paint on the walls.

There actually is a rug in that room that is maroon/tan to tie in the furniture that you can't see, but it needs to go. (The furniture is going in the basement too so I'm working with a blank slate here...) I will look at the Navy as well!

Rent a dumpster... get rid of the wood overload.. take down all that silly super excessive trim around doors and openings.. and the wall plates too.. wow

As with so many homes of this type, the problem isn't so much the wood but of the proportions of the trim. The baseboards, crown, and window and door casings are too skimpy. Also, the built-in bookcases around the door have no detailing--it looks like someone just installed plywood panels. Compare them to the photos I posted and you'll see the difference. Proportion is so important in designing anything, especially millwork. That being the case, and assuming that you aren't going to redo all the trim, you have 2 options. The first is to paint it all the same color as the walls so it visually disappears, and the second is to keep it stained natural and give a boost to the color palette--paint the walls a contrasting color. As Jan suggested, Hale Navy is great, also consider Narragansett Green, Newburyport Blue, or Weathersfield Moss.

Looking at your pics,I can see/imagine places for deeper colour in your home but not everywhere there is wood. It would be too heavy for me across the whole house or even just throughout the public spaces in a house like yours. (btw, that Tudor designer in woodsy Minn. made the same determination) For myself,deeper colour,wallpaper and neutral white would work on the walls. But the walls are just one part of a successful space,as you know. Sounds like you are clearing out an entire room. Perhaps post that room from a few angles to get advice on furniture,rugs, and walls that will integrate into your whole house colour plan.

Your home is beautiful, you may need to paint your walls a different colour but I'd definitely not paint over all that lovely wood, you may regret it if you do!

So here are my thoughts. i'm leaning towards not painting all this wood after looking and reading everyone's helpful comments. I'm not brave enough to go bold with the navy or dark teals and paint all of it. It just doesn't appeal to me and I.don't want to end up not liking my update. I like lighter, classic looks even though it might not be right for this style house from what I'm reading (which is my entire struggle!!!). I'm a huge fan of the restoration hardware light, simple look but that grey/while color scheme won't work here. I gravitate towards the pic posted above with the light walls, the blue and tan furniture, color in the drapes, colorful rug...anyone else had success keeping the walls light, keeping your woodwork, and trying to modernize an older arts & crafts style home????

I wasn't suggesting you paint the entire house navy...or any dark color. Color is dependent on LIGHT. You can paint the existing pantyhose flesh to one of a million whites! Just be prepared not to love it as the trees in close proximity dim the abundance of natural light that any white requires to look sensational.. Paint is but ONE aspect of decor. ..... as are rugs and curtains, lighting, art etc.. It is all "sum of parts", for a pleasing whole : ) It's more than the paint on the walls.

good gracious! don't paint the wood. contrast and textures are what you need to work. the floor for instance...square tiles are not optimum there. get linear tiles or stone and arrange them to break up the monotony. Galveston or herringbone might be interesting - experiment first.

band aid pink is a horrible color for honey oak. it used to be in our kitchen. LOL! greys, browns, greens and blues are all options.

Band aid pink..... hahahaha