Do you have pictures? Also was the finish you originally put on it an oil based finished and now you're trying to use latex water based products?

A picture is worth your thousand words.

sounds like the previous finish was oil based, or man made type of laminate and you didn't prime properly.

just curious as to why you go through all the trouble to explain but don't post a picture? You want an answer why it's not adhering, but we have no idea what you even painted.

help us out here.

Sounds like you should just get a coat of primer on it........and paint it a solid color, and not try to make washed ANYTHING. Buy towels to tie a scheme together. Hang a piece of art with the colors you want.

Believe it or not, some people dont have phones that take pictures and/or can send data - shocking but true.

Basically if the professional finisher did a good job with the clear finish and since it was unfinished wood (per your first post) then the poly would have absorbed deep into the pores of the wood which would make penetration and adherence of a stain difficult or impossible.... esp. if it was a lighter, penetrating stain meant to absorb into the wood. What product did you use - often the instructions will say new unfinished or never finished wood only. Your only hope is to find some sort of heavy bodied, semi-opaque gel type stain that is meant to sit on the surface more vs. absorb in. Not sure whats out there that comes in colors - you might have to get a white and have it tinted.

You might post in the woodworking forum or visit a Woodcrafters if you have one near you - have a good array of General finishes products and the guys usually know what they are talking about.

Thats assuming it was bare, unfinished real wood to begin with. Ive not ever seen "fake wood" that looked like raw unfinished wood but who knows.

Even without a phone to take pictures, if you have a digital camera you can put the photos on a computer and post them on Houzz from your computer.

LOL yeah thats good in theory - I dont have any sort of photo-taking device myself but I freely admit I may be something of a freak.

Current resident,,,they have a computer or a phone to post their dilemma on Houzz . and if they do it via their phone, then they have a camera that will take photos. if done on a home computer, i'm sure they have a digital camera. (or for heavens sake, they could borrow one from a friend, a neighbor, their kid!) and if they don't have any of those, then writing online for help, for something we can't see, and trying to get advice, is ridiculous. It's like calling the car mechanic on the phone and saying, "my car is making a funny noise but I can't bring it to you. please tell me how to fix it".

Nobody knows what this cabinet looks like or what it's made of, because we can't see it!

Excnuck, if the cab has a clear coat, it's prob oil based. you can't paint over it. sand or strip off the current finish and try again. I'm guessing it's clear coat based on the wood grain statement. but it could also be an eggshell paint finish. I don't know. this is why we need pictures.

Why does it bother you Soph? I'm not expressing anything besides theres a thousand and one other things I prefer to spend my money on.

Generally, Ive found that simple technical questions don't usually require a photo. It would be helpful though to know exactly what product was first applied and what product(s) she is now trying to use . Can this b e deciphered by looking at a photo? Maybe, maybe not. Sure, post a photo but this woodworker/refinisher would still want to know the specifics re products that were used.

CR,,,not in this case. she's asking why it won't adhere. we need to see what she is working on. explaining it isn't good enough. Having all of us guess, throwing out suggestions, try this, try that,,,is a waste of everyone's time.

If I were the OP, excanuck, the chances of my returning to this nutso thread would be zero.

we don't know what she's doing or what's she's working on. we need a pic if she wants actual advice that will work. period. however, doesn't look like that's going to happen,,,so,,,,Strip, prime and paint. or strip, stain and clear coat,,,or sand, prime and paint. (yes, even for a 'wash') those are the options based on the info given.

I'll also point out that you calling someone condescending and grouchy w/their replies, is pretty much the pot calling the kettle black.

OP, don’t do a “wash”. Betting “wood” isn’t wood?. Choose your color and paint the vanity. My daughter painted 80’s cabs in her condo. Properly prepped, they lasted her 10 years.