Joanie38, the bridge you refer to is the other Chesapeake Bay Bridge - it crosses the bay down at the bottom in VA. I've been on that one once years ago but I don't remember much about it. Annie, I used to drive the Deegan all the time. I went to Fordham in the Bronx, lived for a time up in Westchester as well as in Manhattan. I've driven pretty much every highway around NYC. None of them are much of a pleasure, especially in the South Bronx! Allison, I've only had the one panic attack. The first few times I had to use the bridge following the panic attack, I used a variety of mental/physical exercises on my approach to the bridge and was able to stave another attack off when I could feel my heart starting to beat faster. Now I just focus my mind on other things as I cross the bridge and have really just tried not to think about it at all. Interestingly, the way the bridge is designed, with separate spans, one eastbound and one westbound, I discovered that driving eastbound was fine. But westbound, the span has a different curve to it, so you can really see how high you are going and right as you near the top, the cement barriers change over to rails that allow you to see directly down below. Anyway, thanks for the advice about diet - I actually don't drink much alcohol and don't have caffeine at all, and very rarely smoked or processed meats. But I always have water with me when I'm driving, so I'll make sure to follow that advice! Unfortunately, there is no way though I could have taken my hands off the wheel during that panic attack to drink water! I didn't even realize what was happening until it happened. But now I know what the signs are so I can prepare myself in advance!

Since you volunteered at an SPCA I'm sure you picked up lots of tips and information about not only animals but strays in particular. I understand your fear regarding the risks to your son and dog. It is possible that the dog's primary caregiver was the wife and with her gone the husband does not know how to properly care for his dog. That could be why you're seeing it, perhaps animals can associate a neighbouring female for their missing mother figure. With a change in the animals home it could be this poor animal is confused and fearful, especially if the breakup wasn't pleasant and there was a lot of fighting. This animal's world is falling apart and it doesn't understand why. Its mom and the kids are gone so it is probably lonely and feeling abandoned. I feel sorry for the poor thing. I would write a polite note of your concerns regarding the safety of your family and place it in an envelope and tape it to the neighbour's front door (tape it secure or on the inside door so you know if its gone that he took it and wasn't blown away). I am not great for writing letters and the whole situation is probably painful for him so focus on the concerns that you have regarding your son and dog who may not know how to handle the approach of his dog without your supervision. This man is also going through a tough time and for all we know his wife might have gotten the dog and he had no say in the matter but now is left with it. Try to make the note tactful (something I lack at times but know the necessity of) regarding your feelings and the possibility of his dog's emotions might make the the dog react in a way he normally wouldn't. No matter how many times we tell my dad not to leave the dogs outside, off a lease, he never listens. If he goes into the house because he's absent minded and forgets then they are not out for just a minute anymore and he won't know if they are in trouble. He refuses to listen to us and the possible dangers to the animals. Even though they won't run off another dog could attack them but he does not like to be told what to do. He will even do the opposite to spite people to prove he'll do what he wants. He does love his dogs but he thinks he knows what is best and won't be told by others that he's wrong. Even if something happened to prove his error in judgment, he would find ways to blame someone else. I think of my father as I think of how to approach this gentleman. That is why a note would be better than a face to face discussion unless you were friends and could approach him before. A note describing your concerns without sounding accusing or blaming is, IMO, the best approach. If the note and your message go unanswered and the problem continues then you should contact the authorities. I wouldn't offer any help as he is selling his house and will be moving and you have no idea of what will become of his dog then. Sadly he may leave it behind, especially if he rationalizes that you'll take it in since you offered help. If he asks for help do what you feel comfortable doing. The reality is this poor dog's future is uncertain. If this man is not caring for it properly now will he take it with him when he sells the house? If its a really big dog can he take it if he must move into an apartment? Will the wife take the dog when the house is sold? So many uncertainties for this poor animal. When a family breaks up its not just the people and kids who get hurt but also the pets.

It's going to be okay! It sounds like you have made some lovely choices for your home. Life isn't just about function. Aesthetics play a huge role in our lives too. Nothing is truly indestructible and it doesn't sound like you made any choices that will have you walking on eggshells in your home. Linelle is right. Soon your kitchen will hold all of your familiar things and, most importantly, your family will gather there and it will be used and loved and life will go on. I think you'll love your copper counters. Part of the beauty and charm of a copper counter is that is doesn't look perfect and pristine and shiny and glossy. Over time it will develop a lovely aged patina that will change as you use it and it will look gorgeous. Any little dents it may get along the way will only add to its charm. I know you'll enjoy it. It IS going to be okay!

Yasmina, I wish you'd stop being so immature about this thread and our responses. Your age is showing and you haven't even told us. If nothing else, consider the source. Consider how many respondents think you have made a big mistake. Count them if you will. Did we all imagine it? Do we all have the exact same imaginations that brought us to the exact same conclusions? Is everybody wrong but you? That last question is one for life. Ask it of yourself often for the next 50 or 60 years. Any prudent, self-reflecting person would. Now consider the information and the source of the information on which we based our opinions. We had only that which you conveyed - the background of factors for us to examine and scrutinize. If there was more to the story; if the story wasn't nearly so bad as you initially expressed, then the failure this time was completely yours. You come back in anger to explain things a little better, but you surely cannot blame us for what we understood of your first and subsequent posts. One or two people might not catch something, might read it wrong, or might misconstrue, but surely not all of us and not most of us. You are again transferring aggression and blame, just like you did with the 5 year old. doesn't require lashing out. We can be angry and not lash out because what holds us back is gratitude of no regret. Everyone on this earth has experienced something like what happened with you, the kid, and the medicine. In every case, there is someone to answer to, someone who exclaims "Woo! Thank goodness nothing bad happened!" but without lashing out about it. Why? Because nothing bad happened. So, why did he lash out in anger? What was there to be angry about and call stupid? I disagree with BF and those here who say you should have known to ask the parent. I believe we do not know things until we learn of them. It didn't occur to you to check with dad about the medicine. It wouldn't occur to anyone without pre-disposure to the concept, whatever it might be in their history and experience that made them aware that this is something you have to ask about. There was nothing in your past, but now you know. Sorry, I stick with my original opinion and previous two posts. Your last ones did not change my mind although they did shed some more light and probably offered a different perspective. However, they didn't change scenario or the logical, analytical review. For the record though, I did not say or intend your relationship was a mistake. I think it was a mistake to leave everything you knew to be with a man it doesn't sound like you knew so well and to be entirely dependent on him. Perhaps you have plans to find work in order to gain independence so that if you ever have to pick up and go, you can do just that. For all I know, you have considerable savings to fall back on. I hope one of those two possibilities is the case with you. Incidentally, my age comment wasn't to offend you, just stating a fact that you are acting just like I did and practically every woman here when we were young(er) and inexperienced. A mature woman (someone older/more experienced) would not have written your posts, not the way you wrote them. Most of us are of an age and been through enough to have some wisdom to offer......to those younger ones who will listen so we can spare them some regret.