Ditto.

Oh, my goodness, this is so hard to plan for. And, you can't plan for what your child will be like. Or what YOU will be like. Go with the flow. Plan for expansion. Or for what you have now. Prepare to move, if necessary. I can't imagine how you can build for something that doesn't exist. We are on our third home, and our youngest is 19. We have one or two in our future, we just don't know what that future is yet.

edited to add, one or two homes, not kids, in our future...although you just never know!

That's a hard question because it's what we are all trying to figure out really because honestly, kids make mess. But LOCATION, the most important, check school districts, neighborhoods.

Do you currently own a home? If you've never owned your own home, I'd almost buying a house that is a resale. Find one that feels right for you now and for the next 5-10 years. Maybe one that needs some minor fix ups, like redecorating. Once you're in the house you'll start to learn what works and doesn't work for your lifestyle.

Thank you all! We currently own a home that we like but has also taught us of things we would change for the next house build.

I realize open concept is popular these days, but I really like having different rooms for specific functions. We moved into our current home while expecting #3 and although it is not much bigger than our last home, it is laid out much better. Carving up the space makes it seem bigger. We have 6, 3, & 1 and I love having a dedicated study (with baby gate on it!) that my husband and I can use along with my 6 year old for her craft projects involving glue and scissors. We have a small front living room that we use as a music room (my piano, husband’s guitars, and microphones for the kids) plus it has a few bins of toddler toys and is a great place for littles to play while making dinner and even has a hidden tv across from the loveseat if kids can not agree on what to watch in the basement . We have a family room in our walkout basement that has the comfy tv area, plus shelves with toy bins and an open play area along with another room for my treadmill so I can workout while kids watch tv. Our walkout basement has guest bedroom with 3/4 bath so grandparents are two floors away from nighttime excitement. We also have a large great room off our kitchen which is where my husband and I enjoy each other’s company and hang out with guests. We have a hidden tv on a lift behind the credenza so if we want to watch a movie together we can, but no kids programs on that tv! Having these different types of spaces works well for us. We have places to be together, but not have to see the avalanche of toys or hear tv theme songs from every place on the main level.

Depending on how many children you want, think multipurpose and possible expansion.

We just finished building a duplex with our DD and DSIL last fall. At the time we designed the house it was designed for the possibility that they would have a child, but that was only a possibility. What they did with the design on their side was to put the master and another bedroom with bath upstairs and a room/den with a small full bath on their main floor as an away space, extra guest room. If they had no children, the second bedroom upstairs would be the guest room and the downstairs room would probably be a den with its bath serving as the main floor powder. There is also a plan for expansion -- their walkout basement was left unfinished, but stubbed for two baths and has lots of room for eventually two more bedrooms and a rec room.

To our delight, the week after we broke ground, DD found out she was pregnant with DGS. He was six months old when they moved in. That relatively small downstairs room is a lifesaver! It is furnished as a den/playroom and very child proof! The only hard furniture is the tv console and even in that small space there is plenty of room for toys, a sectional for cuddling (or for someone to watch the news as he plays), upholstered storage cubes as a coffee table (great for storage and cruising) and a pack and play, with a changing table for naps and changes. That main floor room will change over time, but it is so adaptable. I expect that they will finish the rec room and at least one bedroom and bath downstairs by the time he is old enough to be down there alone -- first as a play room only and later as a teen he can move down there (with a good security system).

They knew they only wanted one child, but you can build a house that works for you now and probably two children, almost as easily.

Keep the kids in the garage. Parents in the bedroom.

But Virgil, if they do this, it will surely lead to more kids!

Lots of people believe each child should have their own room. I don't, but that's irrelevant. I thought each of my kids should have their own bed, and they do. And every night at least one of those beds is empty because they like to sleep together.

I thought two sinks would be so useful for when they brush their teeth at the same time. One sink gathered dust but not much else because it was never ever used unless I used it to bathe the baby.

I thought they would each need a hook in the mudroom. By age twelve they prefer to keep their coat and backpack in their bedroom.

And on it goes. We can't possibly predict what our kids will prefer and really, we don't need to try. They are unique individuals. They will tell us what they need and want. Starting at birth, believe it or not :) And as parents we can choose to trust them and let them make these non-life-and-death decisions for themselves. That's a whole lot easier to do if we aren't married to our idea of the perfectly planned home lol.

Hope that doesn't sound too preachy :)

"But Virgil, if they do this, it will surely lead to more kids!"

Hence the seven car garage.

Bahahahaha

Hire an architect to design the home and your kids will know what good design is and will enhance their lives forever.

To build a home with resale value, you need at least three bedrooms and, preferably two bathrooms. One bedroom for the parents with two walk in closets. One bedroom for the sons with a large in closet. One bedroom for the daughters with a large in closet.

In the interest of privacy, you need space between the parent's bedroom and the children's bedroom, so, if this home is to be all on one level, put your great room in the middle.

If you have the option to have at least a partial daylight basement facing east or south that could be the location of your bonus room and a full bath that could serve as a den or guest bedroom, consider doing that. With small children, you really don't want your laundry in the basement -- carrying all those clothes up and down stairs ... nope.

Seriously consider a screened porch (with half wall and screen above) visible from the kitchen window (and also visible from the laundry/mud room/pantry/storage room) so the porch can serve as a safe play room for small children while you're doing housework -- a lot of which, you'll find, will be done in the kitchen and laundry.

If you have the option, fence in the entire back yard (if possible, include the yard on at least one side) for a safer place for children and pets.

When you buy or build a home, pay attention to the neighborhood, what is close, what will require a long drive. Also pay attention to what sides of your lot is north, south, east, west -- that will help inform you as to floor plan and windows.

You can't predict what your kids will be like, any more than you can predict how many/if you will actually have them. Don't put the cart TOO far in front of the horse.

Mine are both ASD. I quite literally CANNOT put them in the same room. Nobody would sleep, ever. OTOH, I do like to have a more or less open living area, so that I can see what everybody is doing, all the time. (And mine are 16 and 9). They probably won't leave us, so contemplating "empty nest" stuff is a waste of time.

My youngest has no concept of danger, so the stairwell has to be enclosed. No laundry chute, etc.

Some people feel strongly that your children's rooms should be very close to yours when they're young. I never needed that. Baby monitors these days are excellent. And keeping them up and us downstairs meant they weren't woken by the snoring husband, or other household noise.

What is "kid friendly" depends on the kid, and also your tolerance for their stuff all over the house. I'm not bothered by it, so I have no need to stuff them off in a separate room to play. I'd rather have them where I can see them. YMMV.

The pic there has a hearth and that is dangerous for toddlers. We had one - it was covered for years with a foam pad. It was a reasonably attractive pad. Even when he was older, kids would come over to play with younger siblings.

Storage for toys.

Sound isolation from kid's rooms and TV watching area and master bedroom.

Location - neighborhood, schools. Always the most important.

"Hire an architect to design the home and your kids will know what good design is and will enhance their lives forever."
Teach them what good design is, some original parenting advice, I like it..

There are some things like bedrooms on the same level as yours, a play area in view of where you'll be most of the time, avoiding high gloss tiles, having more storage than you need at present, railings on the staircases and landings (yeah, that one ccrops up here, don't ask)

But these, and more, are, or should be, common sense to an architect, which should be your next stop.

My husband has divided the developmental stages into useful names: floppy stage (baby can't sit up on their own), potted plant stage (can sit up in a Bumbo and eventual high chair. Throwing and spilling to be expected), the start of the long baby suicide watch stage (starts with crawling/scooting and progresses to cruising and then walking), tantrum stage, and then pee/poop on floors/wall stage (potty training).

We have two boys ages 7 and 11. When your kids are young you want them within eye and ear shot. When they're a baby that means they may room in with you for awhile until they move to the nursery, Room for a bassinet next to the bed and dimmable lights are useful along with a place to put a changing pad and diapers in your bedroom and a comfortable chair for nursing/bottles/rocking. A lot of people want the nursery next door but baby monitors exist for a reason. If the room is next door then both parents are woken up during night time feedings instead of one sleeping and one tending to the baby. Eventually you'll also want to have marital relations again and that will be awkward if there's just a wall separating you and your child. I recommend at least a hallway separation. In our current home the master bedroom is at the bottom of the stairs and the bedroom we used as a nursery was at the top of the stairs. It worked perfectly.

Eventually your child will move into baby suicide watch stage. Baby proofing an entire house is a major pain in the butt. For that reason I recommend choosing a baby proofing zone that can be closed off using baby gates and/or doors that's within eye and ear shot of the kitchen and a bathroom. Basically you're creating one large play pen Make sure doorways are built for the easy installation of gates (wide ones are harder to gate) and that doorknobs, cabinets doors, etc are chosen that are easy to baby proof. Design a fireplace surround that's easy to baby proof. We ended have to put a big, ugly cage around our's because our kid kept trying to crawl into our's to eat the rocks and impale himself on the grate. Carpet is good for babies but if you prefer hard surfaces try to choose flooring that isn't very slippery. You may not have to baby proof everything (we didn't have to install toilet locks for example) but this is how you can make your life easier. Make sure there's also space for toy storage that's easy for a young child to use so he or she can help clean up. It doesn't have to be permanent. In the kitchen designate a drawer for eventual use by the child so he or she can safely get his or her own dishes.

Choose a potty training bathroom close to the kitchen and living room and make sure it's easy to clean and has room for a step stool in front of the sink and toilet. Choose a scrubbable wall covering so you can easily clean off pee, poop and/or toothpaste.

Eventually the kids won't be on baby suicide watch stage and will move to toys that hurt bare feet stage such as Barbie high heels or Legos. Once they move to that stage you want a room that's away from you that has a door you can close to contain that mess. At that point toys aren't allowed in the family/living room anymore. Don't bother to fit it out with built-ins, etc until you're actually using that room. Even then, keep the room as flexible as possible.

^^very funny husband you've got yourself there!

Good things in a house with kids:

- Large living area with open sight lines ... plus a smaller "away area" that can be closed off with visual and acoustical privacy ...this smaller area may change names over the years, but two such spaces will hedge your bets against whatever your family may need /want.

- Don't buy new furniture so you won't be upset when kids damage it ... Scotch guard your old stuff.

- No carpet in the main eating area ... plus space for a high chair.

- Linoleum, LVP, or engineered wood floors are softer /easier on little people when they fall than tile.

- Kids' bathroom doesn't need to be huge, but it does need to be more than minimal ... just think about potty training in a 5x8 bathroom ... just say "no" to divided bathrooms /it's one more door for kids to lock, and it's harder to supervise multiple kids if they have doors in the way ... storage in the bathroom.

- Similarly, kids' bedrooms don't need to be huge, but decent-sized closets increase the likelihood of the kids keeping their rooms clean.

- Kids and the internet can be very dangerous, so a dedicated spot for kids to use the computer ... within your sight lines.

- Laundry rooms don't need to be huge, but you do need more than a laundry closet

- Your everyday family entry doesn't need to be a Pinterest-worthy space with monogrammed lockers and designer baskets, but an out-of-the-weather entry with space for kids' coats, etc. will make life easier ... include space for future pets in this area too

- Kitchen and family room oriented towards a fenced back yard

- Don't push yourself financially in an attempt to have "the perfect home" in which to raise your kids ... it's much more important to save for their educations and your own retirement ... and they'll remember the way they felt in the home /the activities you shared ... not the perfect breakfast nook or well-designed playroom.

Funny - I never thought of needing a different house for the different stages of our children's lives. We did move when they were 9 and 11 - cross-country move due to a job change - would not have moved if we'd stayed in the same location. Rented in new locations for 3 years, and then moved to where I still am now - nearly 34 years later. Went from 1 child home all the time with 1 in boarding school, to 2 in college, to empty nest to being a widow - all in the same house.

DD bought her first house 19 years ago - no children at that time. Now two boys ages 18 and almost 16. They house has always worked for them and still does.

I guess I just don't understand all this "customization". A good floorpan, the correct number and type of rooms, the right neighborhood - why move?

Okay - I know - I'm a dinosaur and my DD is DDof D, and budding dinosaur herself.

To make assumptions and ultimatums without knowing where the person lives or their lifestyle. I'm sorry but that's just wrong to do so.

To build a home with resale value, you need at least three bedrooms and, preferably two bathrooms.

I live in a retirement area and there are plenty of homes that sell for large numbers that only have 2 bedrooms. Also plenty of starter homes only have 2 bedrooms. My first house which we moved to before kids had 2 bedrooms and 2 baths. We lived in that house until our son was 4 years old and our daughter 1 year old and guess what? We had absolutely no problems selling it and selling it quickly.

You're making assumptions based on your needs.

One bedroom for the parents with two walk in closets.

Why does everyone need 2 walk in closets? Plenty of folks do fine with reach in closets. Again you're making assumptions based on your needs.

One bedroom for the sons with a large in closet. One bedroom for the daughters with a large in closet.

Again, you're making assumptions. Not everyone lives your life. And what if this OP has only a single child, or 5 boys or 5 girls?

In the interest of privacy, you need space between the parent's bedroom and the children's bedroom, so, if this home is to be all on one level, put your great room in the middle.

Again you're making assumptions. Personally when my children were young, I wanted them on the same wing as we were so we could hear them if they needed us. Every one of us has a different tolerance for how we want ours and our children's bedrooms arranged. Even when I post about kids being on a completely different wing, I realize that while that wouldn't have worked for me, that for others, they are ok with it and visa versa. I point it out so they are aware, but if they're fine with it, like you are, that's great.

With small children, you really don't want your laundry in the basement -- carrying all those clothes up and down stairs ... nope.

Good advice.

Seriously consider a screened porch (with half wall and screen above) visible from the kitchen window (and also visible from the laundry/mud room/pantry/storage room) so the porch can serve as a safe play room for small children while you're doing housework -- a lot of which, you'll find, will be done in the kitchen and laundry.

A screened porch is nice if you live in a mild climate, but somehow in upper MI I don't see a screened porch corralling the kids for most of the year. Actually in FL I don't either because middle of the day in FL from May-October can be brutal.

If you have the option, fence in the entire back yard (if possible, include the yard on at least one side) for a safer place for children and pets.

Yes this is also a good idea.

When you buy or build a home, pay attention to the neighborhood, what is close, what will require a long drive. Also pay attention to what sides of your lot is north, south, east, west -- that will help inform you as to floor plan and windows.

Excellent advice.

A screened porch is nice if you live in a mild climate, but somehow in upper I don't see a screened porch corralling the kids for most of the year. in FL I don't either because of the day in FL from May-October can be brutal.

Eh. It depends. As a lifelong Michigander, I could point out that we tend to be more tolerant, especially of cooler temps. I wouldn't throw mine out there ALL day when it's cold out. But April - October is not unreasonable. Not every day, but at least it's there to use. Especially in the summer, when preschool, etc., is not in session.

Not this year, obviously. We're supposed to get snow again this weekend. But as soon as it gets above 60, I'll throw my windows open, anyway.

I think screened porches in Florida are meant to keep the alligators out.

Congratulations on the new house!!! There is no one size fits all answer here.

Do you want your kids to use their rooms more often or do you want them in the public spaces of the house? Where will they study? Should you incorporate storage for books and papers into their rooms, kitchen cabinetry, or den built ins? Do you prioritize independent time spent in seperate spaces or does everyone congregate together all the time? Does your family spend hours hanging out in the kitchen while you cook meals from scratch or are you more of a play outside and heat up something quick for dinner family? Do you want a playroom that will grow into a teen space for the kids to host their friends or do you prefer them socializing in their rooms? If you have girls, will they do their hair and makeup in the bathroom or use a vanity in their room? Do you need a big mudroom for sports gear? Or do you love movies and would be better off allocating that square footage toward a really comfortable spacious den?

Once you start identifying the specific things that you need as a family, then you can start focusing on design solutions. A good architect or designer will ask the right questions to lead you through that process and this forum has so many people willing to share their professional and antectoal advice.

The other thing is that open concept doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can have an open kitchen, dining, and living room with a seperate closed off family room for kids hanging out with their friends. Or maybe you want the kitchen open to the family room and a seperate adult living room for when you entertain. It’s really all very personal. Good luck!!!