I have a 2 1/2 year-old son and we also struggle with working in the yard at times. IT is better this year here are some things I have done... Let them water your containers or play with water. Drexler now tells me the flowers are crying because they are thirsty. I then give him the hose and let him have at it...last night he was right. One of my pansies was thirsty! Get excited about things. Right now EVERY DAY when I get home from work my son asks to go pick the strawberries. We go out and usually a new one is ripe (can't wait a few more weeks). He is still working on not picking the green ones, but he'll learn. Teach them what is yummy. Last year we planted carrots in a container and he would go out and pick a carrot out, wipe it off and eat it. Clean soil, no chemicals and hey he was eating carrots. Teach them to love flowers. How does it smell? How does it taste. Have them help you pick out what ones to pick. Drexler and I will do this together, go into the house and put them in vases and then talk about how pretty they are. I have a small vase by my bed that he empties out every day and replaces the water in...and then the flowers. A bit of a pain, but he is learning to appreciate my yard. Don't freak when they step on a plant, but do teach them to be nice to your plants. I have a large yard and Drex has hurt some of my plants, but we talk about how to treat them. Teach them to watch for bugs and to be interested in them. Ants can keep a kid busy for at least fifteen minutes. Tell yourself you will most likely not get a lot accomplished with your helpers so when you do accomplish something it feels good. Make them an area that is all theirs.

Well, I'm the mother of a 6 yo girl and I am sometimes surprised by the things she says and does that seem very adult-like. Mine has been talking about getting married for 2+ years now (roll eyes). I think kids (especially at this age) tend to mirror other kids, and that can include a lot of older sibling behavior for 6 year olds (and not just your older DD, but perhaps behaviors taught to the 6 yo by her classmates who subsequently got it from their older siblings). Mine is an only and I see this pattern strongly-- like when she came home and announced, very matter of factly, that her friend doesn't associate with people of a certain color. Five year olds don't come up with that on their own, they get it from parents and older siblings. Of course, this was one of those situations where I asked her a few questions as to how she felt about it, and made sure she understood our values and that the other girl might be misguided (but she already had that figured out thankfully). 6 is also an age of narcissism, so I would not put too much bearing on her being caught up in her appearance and what other people think of her based on it. ALTHOUGH, I would definitely spend the next few years correcting her beliefs and continuing to communicate with her the values of "pretty is as pretty does" and that boys who are only interested in her for her appearance aren't much of anything themselves. It's a process, but that is the only way for your beliefs to make an impression is if she hears them consistently. It's especially important to keep on with it since we live in a society that is so caught up in outward appearance over inward virtue. Keep with your beliefs and give it time, and hopefully it will stick and she will outgrow this. You say she has a good relationship with her dad, which is very important, since how he treats her should eventually be reflected in the boys she chooses to associate with. I'd examine that relationship to make sure that her dad is encouraging her on a psychological and social level, and that he isn't inadvertently encouraging her need to be accepted by appearance. It is something he might do without even realizing it- if he consistently compliments her on how nice she looks after she gets herself dressed, but then fails to compliment her on her kind treatment of others, it could cause her to unconsciously value appearance over other things. It's easy to do this sort of thing with your kids and not realize it too. But again, 6 is an age of being strongly self-absorbed, and with some firm guidelines, boundaries, and positive encouragement on your part, I would hope she would naturally grow out of this and into a more rounded individual.

I think kids are attuned to different sounds than we are. The sound is there, but we don't pick up on it. We live a few blocks from a train crossing. DS (21 months) has just this last week started saying "choo choo" everytime he hears a train. Usually, I don't hear it until I stop what I'm what I'm doing. He's right, there is a train coming. I have blocked that sound out and didn't notice it. I consider it background noise. On the other hand hearing and seeing a train is a highlight for ds. I don't have any real advice since my child is still quite a bit younger than yours, but I would like to suggest trying the monster spray that I've heard about on the craft forum. You can use a spray bottle filled with water or a can of room freshener or something else sprayable, put a label on it, and call it monster spray (or whatever might fit your situation better.) Tell your dd that the spray should be sprayed under the bed and whenever she hears the noises. Maybe it will help calm her fears. Good Luck.

Pashan, It sounds to me like your daughter needs an attitude adjustment. You say My daughter is a stereotypical 14 year old - attitude, drama, phone stuck in her ear, spends hours on her hair, thinks her friends are the only important people in the world, mostly concerned with what songs are on her iPod and what movie she can go to next! She fights with her 3 younger siblings (ages 9, 6 and 5) and gets mouthy with her parents. She is bossy and a know-it-all. It sounds to me like you are accepting of this behavior because you view it as normal. I think it's really weird...I'm 24...when I was 14 my parents let me know that I was the child in the relationship and they let me know that everything I had was a privilidge, not a right. We (my brothers and I) were taught, from the start to treat our elders with respect (and everyone else around us for that matter), and to this day that still holds true. I think the problem nowdays (a whole whopping 10 years later) is that a lot of people just accept that their teen/pre-teen is going to be an ignorant lippy little brat...and that's OK because everyone else's kid is too...and at least mine isn't as bad as... When I was in grade 11 there was the Columbine school shooting, and everyone who heard about it was floored, dumbfounded, completely shocked that something like this could happen in America...kids, with guns, killing people. In the past few months in Alberta we have had a 14 year old and her 20 year old boyfriend murder her entire family (mother, father, and 9 y/o brother), a group of mostly young teens beat a man to death, and another group of young teens attack and kill a man on an LRT. These kids are CHILDREN...and they are killing people. Why?? Probably because they have been raised to believe that they have 'RIGHTS' (sorry, but the only right any child has is to be clothed, fed, sheltered and loved...to have their *basic* *needs* met...everything else is a priviledge). They have very few (if any) responsibilities, they have NO resepect for anyone but themselves, and they have never been taught that their actions have consequences. Now, I'm not trying to say, in any way, that your daughter is like these kids, but what I am saying is that it doesn't sound like she's picking up on some of the life lessons she will need to function as an adult, and as a result, your husband, in particular, is having a hard time dealing with her. It sounds like she lacks respect...for everyone. I agree with brass tacks, you need to let your hubby deal with the attitude she directs at him, but I think you should sit down with him, alone, and discuss the need for him to deal with her attitude as it happens, and let him know you will back whatever punishment he gives her. (ie: if he grounds her for a week, help him stick to that decision, and make sure she doesn't come to you for a different answer, and if he tries to lift the gounding early, remind him and her that "No, you're grounded for (three more days) because of (your bad attitude), so you can't (go to the movies tonight with your friends.)") Once you've had a chat with Hubby, to decide what's acceptable behavior & what's not, as well as what suitable punishments are for the specific problems, sit down together with daughter and let her know that both you and Hubby agree that there are some (attitudes) that need to change. Clearly define your expectations of her, and let her know that she will be held accountable for her actions. As brass tacks said - make her responsible for her happyness. It's called 'tough love'. It may not be easy for you, and she may not enjoy it, but you are supposed to be her parent not her 'friend' (that comes later after you've done your part to raise her to be a responsible, kind young woman). Kids need guidence, instruction, limitations, accountability and lots of love. (They don't need ipods, phones, movies, etc.) It sounds to be like you have a gem of a hubby. He has taken your daughter, and made her his own, in every way possible. He has loved her like his own (and still does). Just because he said (and likely meant) "I can't stand her", doesn't mean that he doesn't still love her...I don't think I've met a parent with a teen, who hasn't mentally, at one time or another, been like Homer and and thought "Why you little...!" (choke the little ungrateful ...) not that they ever would harm their kid, and they always love them...but sometimes they just "can't stand" them. It sounds to me like your hubby is being pushed so much that he's losing his patience with her. Their relationship may need a bit of mending, but I think you should deal with daughters attitude first. If you get that under control, their relationship will rebuild naturally, and they'll start doing things together again. It's all a matter of respect. Verena (Who vividly remembers pushing my parents to the edge...they set the limits, and I had to deal with the consequences of my actions, but it has made me a better person, and now we get along great...true friends with respect for each other.)