Thanks for the replies. It does help me to know that one, I'm not the only one that find this level of "service" unacceptable, and two, that there are indeed people that would rather do the cleaning themselves. I still have much to sort out as to whether I want to continue to try having a cleaning person or would rather do it myself. But in the meantime, we are going on vacation and I already planned to put them on hold for the time we are away and just a bit thereafter. Probably 3 weeks off altogether. That will give me time to access the feeling of NOT having a cleaning service. Assuming I still want to go that route, I plan to call Wilma and explain the situation. Despite everything, she is a very nice woman, and one that I actually trust (to my knowledge, theft is one problem I have not experienced with our current cleaners). To be fair, I have not really said much to convey how unhappy I am (in part because I've barely seen her in recent weeks). I'd like to give her the chance to improve things. I will make a list of the things I want addressed and make very sure that she understands what I'm looking for. After that, if I'm still unhappy at least I'll know I did everything in my power to articulate my expectations, and I'll feel free to move on. I got a few new referrals from some friends last night that I will hold onto. I'll admit, I really do have to fight the feeling of not liking people in my house. In our house, my biggest problem is my own inconsistency. There are times when I enjoy cleaning and it almost feels cathartic. However, there are also times, due to our difficulties with our son, that it becomes nearly impossible to keep up and the house heads south VERY quickly. So until I can maintain some level of consistency on my own, I guess I'll have to continue on with a cleaning service. Perhaps if I spend a little time tweaking things, I'll end up being very happy. Thanks again. :)

Wine50: A big hug to you. And ditto what OleJoyful wrote--could not have chosen finer words myself. As so many of you have written, the distress you feel having the task of cleaning out the home is palpable, but hopefully you can approach it as a learning experience--learning more about the family members. Kind of like a treasure hunt (yes, among all the trash!) You can try just imagining what she looked like in that Chanel dress for the big to-do. You find out more in those tucked-away letters. And while you might not be able to identify some people in the photos, it's a glimpse into another era. I think really the only thing I can add is to not do this alone--if there are other siblings in the family, make them have an equal hand in it, from the basic cleaning-out-the-fridge or clearing out trash part to the divvying up of stuff and making decisions on what to toss or donate. It's not just to make the work go faster. I didn't have the chance to go back afterwards (and that was awhile after both parents had died), because the house was quickly sold and there was a deadline to have it ready for the next family. And I just could not get back in time because of another commitment. Other siblings did the work. Every day I recall some little object, maybe something I gave to my mom, and wonder what happened to it. Was it thrown out, is it in a box in the basement of a sister's house.

I would work the painting in. Some of those sites with wall decals could make them any size -- maybe you could find a way to work in some smaller ones and just do one or two larger ones. Circle a mirror? Marching into or out of the closet door? radomly scattered or arranged in an action scene that is all his own. They could be positioned behind the arrows on the painting, but that would seem to beg for something in the center.....maybe that remains in the imagination. If the painting fit over the bed, maybe some super heroes are behind the arrows and all pointing to their hero who sleep in that bed? Just thinking out loud here. I would kjust kick around some ideas and figure out what works for you and your son, but the painting is too special and too right in terms of color and graphic quality not to try to use it.

Hi pbl. I too have been working on a closet design. I have been using easy closets to help me with some basic ideas. They have a spot you can design your own closet by putting in your dimensions and they will show you what they recommend to best fill the area and you can customize the shelves after that. It is a good starting point. EasyClosets