A Toast to the Hostess

6 years ago

last modified: 6 years ago

Now that the holidays are over, I want to tell everyone who created that holiday the whole family/friends/extended circle enjoyed: GOOD JOB!

My late stepmother was a professor of occupational therapy and boy did she understand dynamics and logistics of organizing holidays. I truly miss her this time of year as a sounding board because she 'got' what it meant to be the one who makes it all happen.

She understood how exhausting and how draining it can be for those of us who don't get the easy pleasure of walking into a clean and holiday-bedecked house that smells of delicious food cooking with a stack of nicely wrapped presents under a beautifully decorated tree. Those of us who don't get to just bring a casserole or a cake as our contribution to that wonderful dinner served just at the right time, after the snacks and before the decadent dessert and coffee that magically appeared after the dirty dishes were cleared. Those of us who shopped all over for all the ingredients and supplies, those of us who have been hectoring the husband, the kids, the dog (LOL) for days to get everything ready. Those of us who spend hours after the party cleaning and tidying and putting everything back in order. Those of us who smile with quiet satisfaction knowing we put together what everyone called as they left 'a great time', 'wonderful Christmas' and 'best get together ever!'.

It's about much more than the day itself and now that stepmom is gone, this group is the only place I really feel I know other women who Get It. So ladies, a toast to all of you and on behalf of all the guests who enjoyed a carefree day because of you-thank you very much for all you did to make it a wonderful experience for all!

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runninginplace

6 years ago

"Until someone actually does the work, they will never understand the organization and time it takes to make it happen."

Fun2BHere, so true. A lot of us are doing family events for 15-20-30 or more and often for multiple meals or meals along with the holiday celebration as well. Any of which is a huge effort to organize and pull off even for professionals, and we do it without the benefit of catering professionals' staff, supplies and expertise.

I am always quietly proud of pulling it off while also always vaguely wondering if everyone else is just smarter than me for letting me do it!

In most families it comes down to who is willing to be the Keeper of the Holidays-we are either saints or idiots, maybe both LOL.

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Comments (17)

cattyles
6 years ago
I thank everyone for sharing your holidays here. I wasn’t up to doing my usual and I enjoyed every picture and post.
Sueb20
6 years ago
I get so cranky and tired about 2 Days after Christmas every year and DH always wonders why.... he’s a great guy but just clueless about the holidays. Thanks, running!
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nini804
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Thank you for noticing!! :) I host Christmas Eve and Christmas mornings brunch....and while I love doing it...OMG I spend Christmas afternoon prostrate on the couch!!
czarinalex
6 years ago
Thank you runninginplace! It's nice for all the hard work to be acknowledged. I host Christmas eve for dh's family every year. Usually 20-30 people for a full sit-down dinner(with an afternoon of appetizers). Everybody expects the 4-5 different kinds of Christmas cookies. It's exhausting and stressful for days beforehand. My MIL is 92. When she is gone, I will be looking to pass the baton on to the younger generation.
LynnNM
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
Well said, Running!

i am always exhilarated but exhausted after our Christmas Eve and then our annual Christmas Day gathering and formal dinner here. I look at it as the after affects of weeks of cooking, cleaning, planning, shopping, wrapping, etc. getting ready for Christmas Day/ Week. My own personal reward is December 26 (and many times the 27th, as well). I don’t cook or clean on those days. No one is invited over and we don’t go anywhere. I/we just spend it resting, relaxing by our living room tree, reading, napping, watching Christmas movies together, taking short walks together, etc. it’s still Christmasy, but very mellow and healing.

Your late-stepmother sounds like a gem of a woman, Running.
bpath
6 years ago
It's a sisterhood! At Christmas everyone says "oh, thank you BPath, that was so lovely, I know it's so much work and everything was just delightful". I say, of course, "oh, thank you, and thank you for bringing the salad." When what I really want to say is "next year I'll bring the salad to your house."

This year was small because of our challenges, and I must say I rather liked it. And I didn't cook much, 80% came from Costco! We did paper plates and the good silver lol and carried all (including linens and table decor) to my mom's house. That has its own challenges, but at least I didn't worry about keeping EVERY public room in my house clean!
eld6161
6 years ago
Running, so eloquently put. So very true.

Bpath, yes to keeping things manageable and easy. This year I used the Costco plastic dishes. I still had 5 loads of serving bowls, pot/pans etc. But, everything bit helps relieve the stress.

I envy those who have passed the torch. Not likely to happen anytime soon here, so it is up to me do what I can and not what I can't.
happy2b…gw
6 years ago
last modified: 6 years ago
Hats off to you all as I am taking my own bow and patting myself on the back. The baton is somewhat passed to my daughters. One of them prepares dinner Christmas Day while I serve a huge seafood dinner on Christmas Eve which begins at 1:00 PM - ends about 9:30 PM. I also make a meat sauce because one grandson is allergic to most shellfish. My kids and grandkids look forward to it every year. One of my grandsons says Christmas Eve dinner is the best dinner he eats all year. This dinner carries on family tradition. My parents are gone, and I read somewhere, maybe here, that we keep them nearby stepping into their shoes. So worth the effort!

Before Christmas, I enjoy hosting just the grandkids for a children's Christmas party of sorts- food, movies, baking, making crafts, and decorating my house. This year they painted ornaments per Allisande's recommendation. I also have a shopping date every year with my eldest grandson when he does his Christmas shopping. This may be ending soon as he is close to being old enough to drive. It takes me three days to wrap the presents. I watch a lot of Hallmark movies which make the time go by.

This cold weather forces us to hibernate a little and recoup. Good job. I loved hearing about your Christmases.
texanjana
6 years ago
Amen! We went to visit our oldest DS for Christmas this year, and it was so nice and relaxing. He lives and works in a remote part of the state and being in nature was just what I needed after a difficult few weeks prior to Christmas. We had tamales and chili on Christmas Eve, a picnic lunch by the river and fajitas for dinner on Christmas Day. It was wonderful.
maddielee
6 years ago
Thank you runninginplace. For some reason this holiday season seemed to come around sooner and last longer then in other years.

cheers!
Fun2BHere
6 years ago
What a lovely post, Runninginplace! Thank you. I was lucky this year as one of my younger cousins handled the family gathering for that side of the family for the first time and did a wonderful job. That left me with Christmas morning and the big Christmas dinner for the other side of the family. Each side has about 30 or so. It takes me about a week to prepare and a day to clean up, but it went relatively smoothly. Until someone actually does the work, they will never understand the organization and time it takes to make it happen.
flowerpwr45
6 years ago
I'm badly paraphrasing something from a Nigella Lawson cookbook: "People act like Christmas dinner is the only meal on the horizon". This! Adult kids come home, and I'm thrilled, but still.

While the planning, and mostly the cooking, is done by me, my husband does get into the spirit of driving around looking for ingredients. And likely others are better at it than me, but I always feel like the quality of my meal suffers when I'm making quantities for 15 or more. And yes, yes, to bpathome; that salad might taste better at your house!
hhireno
6 years ago
I love hosting my family and they all pitch in, but by 8 pm Xmas night I was thinking why won’t these people go home?!

We actually have to prevent my mother from helping because it’s always more trouble than it’s worth. She’s never been much of a cook and she shows up with baked goods from the clearance racks - for a group of celiacs and people watching their weight. No one wants stale baked goods. Luckily, she loves to be the honored matriarch so it’s easy to convince her just sit, relax, you’ve done enough over the years.
Bonnie
6 years ago
Well said Running! I take my hat off to those of you who serve 20-30 people, involving multiple meals and overnight stays. I feel fortunate that we have only 8-9 for Christmas dinner and they go home afterwards!

The Christmas Eve big family gathering of 25, which my MIL and late FIL did for years has been handed over to my BIL and SIL for the last 3 years. We made one of the Polish soups and brought all of the wine, another SIL made the other Polish soup.....everyone brought something. However, BIL and MIL had to make the Peirogi and Nalasniki (crepes). SIL had to set up the house and get ready for us, lots of work.

Seeing how tired they were when we left on Christmas Eve I offered our home next year. They declined. I have since offered again and it was declined. So I am left thinking they actually WANT to do it.

I always enjoy having the week after Christmas off from work. No shopping, not much cooking, just lots of reading and watching Netflix in PJ's all day!!!
OutsidePlaying
6 years ago
What a very nice post, runninginplace. I love hosting my family but yes, it is exhausting.

This year, we hosted the big Thanksgiving extravaganza with 23 family members plus a few extended members and friends. It wore me out, even with dishes being brought. The next week I hosted my neighborhood ladies luncheon. Christmas was actually very quiet, with small celebrations, due to some family members working on Christmas Day and one son and his family traveling over the holiday. So we split celebrations, ending with one last Friday night with our son and his family in Birmingham. It was actually very relaxing for DH and I to be home Christmas Day, cook a nice meal for the two of us and the go to DD’s the next morning for brunch and celebrating there.
Fun2BHere
6 years ago
Well, Runninginplace, I don’t see myself as a saint, so I guess that makes me an idiot...LOL. Truly, I do it to honor my parents and I will not continue to do it after they are gone. At that point, it will be up to others to carry on the traditions or let them fall by the wayside.

A Toast to the Hostess

runninginplace

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cattyles

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