Decisionmaker and all others who are having a rough time, I hope things get better soon my heart goes out to you hearing your stories and frustration. Someone compared this process to pregnancy and childbirth and I think that is true. Dreamed of, prayed for, all that fun in 'planning' :), then when you are actually expecting it is so exciting then it is so scary, then you feel sick for...months...then you feel better then the last weeks drag on and on and finally you don't think you can take it and then after great work and pain you get the greatest gift you have ever known and forget all the bad things and feel the joy. I hope you will all feel the joy SOON. For myself, I tend to be a 'researcher' and feel empowered even in the midst of a stressful situation if I am prepared for it and know why things are happening. So I am wondering, if you could share what in particular has caused you the most stress and if you could have done anything to avoid it or if it is just a part of the building process? Beehappy2007, I immediately thought of The Owner Builder Book, and Amy Johnston's Book when you asked about resources so there is a second recommendation for you. As for your land purchase, I am sure a lawyer will tell you this, or even an escrow officer: get a title report and make sure there is a provision for title insurance in the contract. You might also check on the availability of utilities and water. If there are going to be higher than average costs for septic, utilities or water or if there are zoning restrictions or easments it can affect the 'usability' of the land and therefore affects the value. Bellamay, From this and other posts I have read from you, you seem to be a builder with integrity that truly cares about your customers and others who are building homes. Perhaps you could share from your point of view how some of the stress and heartache can be avoided...or at least lessened? I know I would appreciate any helpful advice on how to have a smoother build and I'm sure others would too. Thanks.

Thank you for your service! Save save save, and also determine what a comfortable monthly budget is for you. Track what you spend, and determine what a comfortable monthly payment (mortgage, taxes, insurance) would feel like. Then you can figure out how much to spend on a home based on that number. For us, that number is always lower than what a bank would approve us for/loan us. ;-) Also allow for future expenses and needs (will you have more children?). We also wanted to make sure we could make the house payments on one income (one income by choice or by no choice). Spend some time getting to know some of the areas you are interested in, and what your priorities are (do you want to be in a neighborhood, is being in a good school district a top priority, etc). When my husband and I got married, we had dreams of building a custom home on some land, away from the city and out of suburbia. Our visions and goals have since completely changed.

Don't stay all one brand. Different manufacturers excel at different appliances. I was concerned that you mentioned you want a panel-ready fridge, but not "built-in". I think you are getting your terminology mixed up. I am not the terminology police, but you don't want to purchase one thing when you meant something else. Built-in means it is counter-depth. It may or may not have panels. If you are going to have panels on your fridge, it should be an "integrated" fridge model; panelled "built-ins" have the panels just tacked on. Integrated fridges have the paneling blend with the rest of the cabinetry. But the integrated fridges are extremely expensive. You may want to save your money and just have your fridge look like a fridge. Use that money on a better hood or range. Since you are building, don't lose the opportunity for proper ductwork for your hood. Make sure the duct from the hood to the outside is an 8" or 10" diameter. Now is your chance. Don't let the builder tell you "6" diameter is fine". It's not, except it's easier for him. Back to the fridge...you don't want this which is a paneled built-in (not integrated) fridge. It will cost extra, and will have this look: If you are OK with spending a lot more, these are integrated fridges:

I am referring to my personality, diving in with no planning. Not listening to solid advise. Being offended when opinionated house posters blew it up with critiques.Taking offensive to snooty, condescending summaries about a plan I had chosen. Not seeing past the tone of the message, not looking for someone that would work for me and with me. REFUSING to respect that there is a reason we each excel in different walks of life. Just don't mess with the ones you don't like, same philosophy with all our life choices. You'll hate some, but, there are professionals that truly could have helped me build a better home. I was not receptive at all, just got angry. I'll show them! I Disregarded that the chosen CAD program had flow issues. I didn't even understand the basic drawings. it did, it does.I have zero ability to translate a 5x7 closet into how that closet actually works. The laundry room, same, way too small. pantry, too small. what do those little drawings mean! I have two trained architect friends, and I was certain they weren't understanding I had to move, quickly, with no time for frivolous refinements. Had to break ground by fall, all those laid off Craig's list tradesman would certainly have more time, give my project the thought it needed, and I assumed you wouldn't say you could dry wall or tile if you couldn't. I could not visual the literal size of the storage closet, I now proudly call the master closet, for instance. Being driven by trend threads, that seem good on paper. Was that what I really wanted? Didn't take time to put true thought into those decisions. Did I really want them? Some yes, some no. Driving on to save money, I assume anybody with a lick of vision can hire quality work. So not true, I paid 4 times for new drywall, new painting, and it still is full of ruffles and ridges. Hire the legit drywalling company, wouldn't have lost 2 months with redos, paid excessively, interest hike during the never ending down times, of course interest rates went up.3.99 start build, 5.75 end build rate. Passed on licensed company to do the drywall, He gave me a two week time frame, (way too long in my narrow world)and was 3,000.00 more. So, hire some bozo on Craigslist that promised to get it done in half the time at half the cost.That decision cost me TWO MONTHS! for that investment,I paid up front, they needed supplies, and had me handcuffed, they already had my money. "save 3,00"ultimately costing me literally 4 times that, project set back two months( they showed up about 2 hours every other day and I swear they had no idea how to drywall. Flunked electric 4 times for COO, still have switches/ outlets with no idea their purpose. So, to answer your question, I paid 18,000. for a master bathroom, the tile job and the layout and quality is not good. With proper forethought and workability analysis this would definitely have been avoided. I could have hired someone to explain basic size, what to demand in workmanship, As in earlier post, I am just verbalizing my specific experience and begging you to not to buy that dress at Barneys just because it's 90% off. We were rear ended in 14, can't walk, but, I still want that dress from Bsrneys because it used to be the perfect dress for me. realize needs change, and you if it's an impulsive decision, it will sit in your closet with all the other GREAT deals. I learned from these costly mistakes, and am sooo receptive after the fact, to remedy issues that should have been remedied prior to building!