Our GC had a wonderful exercise for us. His assignment even before we met was to have DH & me write out our top 20 items/ideas for the house (in order of importance). We did this seperarately w/o knowing each other's top 20. We then brought this list to GC on our first meeting. This enabled him to get the big picture. We also took these lists to the architect. Along with this list, was a photo of what we desired & a layout we thought we liked. As the process has developed, all of our smaller, nitpicky items have come out. GC has appreciated the thought process that I've put into it all. He said it has made everything move smoothly. In the end, I will have less daily choices to make. Although I did SO much research prior to all of our meetings, I have welcomed GC's ideas & knowledge, as well. Afterall, we are hiring him for his skills, knowledge, & expertise. He has been doing this 30+ years & I have only just recently begun this process. I definitely would not go into this seeming like a total know-it-all or you will make GC's life quite unpleasant. Also, in all honesty, about 90% of our desires for our home, GC had already planned for, so I would really be looking for the best GC you can find.

Oh how I read your posting and my heart goes out to you. I lost my sweet Dad too, it was 2 years ago in August. So many of the details that you described about your Dad's condition were present with my Dad too. Your story brought back my memories. I know losing someone that you love so much is just gut wrenching. It is so tramautic. To me, it's like post tramautic stress disorder, the act of losing that special person is so mentally draining, something you only go through when you love someone so much. After I lost my Dad, well it was so hard. But my Mom was so miserable without my Dad. We all immediately focused on helping Mom to manage without him. But 7 months later we lost Mom. Mom was my best friend, along with my Dad. Now there both gone. How do I manage without them? I don't even know. I was so very lost in the beginning, and so very angry. There were so many unforgiveable surrounding circumstances. So many things made it harder to bear. I, too am so sad that my kids don't have their grandparents, that loved them so much, and I feel so cheated. They still have a paternal grandpa, but it's not the same. And it IS hard to hear them talk about my husband's father. But I'm glad my husband has HIS dad, and I talk about MY parents to them. And show them things they bought them, and cards from them. And we have pictures and some videotape of them, of course I haven't been able to watch those yet. I just think that your grief never completely goes away. But you do figure out how to get by each day without them. Other things and people come into the picture to help you figure that out. I'm just sad now, not so angry anymore. I guess because I believe in Heaven and I believe they are there. And I look forward to seeing them again. And I believe they are together and in no more pain. I am sad that they miss out on my life but I believe they can see me and my family and I look to the sky for them. Death is a part of life but we still never want to let go. I would have been just of sad had my parents lived to be 100. Just hang in there. Love your children and your husband each day. Thank God for them and for the time you had with your Dad. I've been reading a book "Motherless Daughters". It is very validating for me with my feelings but it also reminds me of how so many people lost their parents before they were even grown. I'm so glad my parents got to see my kids. My last child was an unexpected girl, after 2 boys. I'm so glad that they knew her and could share in those moments with me. Hugs to you.

Exactly, although I really appreciate your critique of my bedroom space. DH would not allow me to switch chest of drawers. That's his "side" of the room, bed, bench, lol. Y'all don't know what it took to talk him into curtains! Although, he has been pretty good throughout this decorating process. I did previously try to put the basket under the side table, but it is too tall with the pillows and would be a pain to get under to retrieve them. As for the air return, I cannot block it with anything that large and solid. You should have seen the dust on the solid painted screen. The heating and air guys were not thrilled with that, either. One of these days, I'll see the perfect console table to put there, but in the meantime, that's what I feel comfortable with and it's staying. I can't believe y'all have not seen these decorative screens as just that...decorative! Must be a southern thing. Anyhow, all I wanted to do is show you my newly revamped space because it is such a big improvement over what it was. Thank you for the kind words, tryingtodecorate. The color is Decatur Buff in the bedroom, and my fireplace wall is as well. I have considered painting that entire wall like the trim color, a paneled look like my previous home (seen below) and may do so when we replace the fireplace box (another story.) yayagal - We may sell, so come on!

Those are very nice chairs, ML. I agree that they could go in the living room as easily as the dining room. I like the wavy "x" legs, especially. It gives them a little something extra. I have studied your diagrams and read your descriptions, finally. Ran around all day yesterday - went and got a Holter Monitor at the cardiologist's and then hit Salvation Army, where I got a sweet little bakers rack - solid metal, welded seams - for $35! Just needs a little 3M Rust Reformer. I think you have shown us the kitchen design before. I remember the sink across from the Bertazzoni, the big garden window, the baking area. I am not sure if you had the nice indentation there for the cook to have a safe zone, though. I do remember the sitting area outside the bedroom, though. It is neat to see the diagram of your home after all these years of seeing photos of little parts of it and imagining how it all fits together. The nosy neighbor, is he on the side with the clawfoot tub and your clothes closet? Is the new vestibule in the front new this time? I don't think I remember seeing that. I am also a bit surprised that you gave up on the storage/pantry units on either side of the window seats. I like your idea of base and wall cabinets with your favorite solid surface counter there, though. Does the table that you use in that space have extensions that you can use to fill the dining room if you have a large group? I am now struggling with an idea I have for my family room. We now have a nice (but huge) 1990s TV unit with the doors that slide out to shut the TV behind. Which I never do. The thing is 5 ft high, which is too high to place my gnome garden upon. I have my air plant garden up there, but it can hardly be seen. I want to ditch the furniture, get a larger wall-hung TV (old eyes can't see small print) and have a furniture piece that I can set things on and under. Craigslist had an beautiful console table for $230 that was under 2' deep at its smallest configuration that looked like a sofa table. It could be pulled out to 8' long! Yet it was only about 8" deep! I could set things on the floor underneath it, as well as on top. It did need a little restoration (it was from the 1930s), and I would not feel really comfortable putting a garden on it, as drips could happen. But since I made the entire kitchen into an island, I have no place for a table-height table, and thought I might want that option if I could ever talk DH into getting rid of the hunk o'oak that I once thought that I just had to have! I'd love to give it to someone to make into a nice play kitchen set like MamaGoose made! We could bring up dining chairs from the basement and have a sit-down meal if we wanted to. Currently, we eat at the island or sitting on family room furniture. I have a tea cart DH and I have used as a dining table, though. So I am imagining that you have the extending table that I wish I had! I hope that you are well by now, and that Marti is over her cold, too. I hear that both flu and colds are going around in Michigan, with Norovirus and RSV also hitting hard. We have been lucky, so far.