Anglo, you are only 74, my old backyard neighbors they were 80, they did everything by themselves until the wife passed. Are you on the lazy side? :-) 74 is the new 64, as long as your bones are still keep you up walking, try clean one room at the time, you should be fine. Keep moving, doing things is the key to long healthy life. Start with one room today? It's a beautiful day to start. :-)

I think everyone should chase after their dreams, you can't let grownup kids drag you down. 7000 sq ft will give them a great health benefit by just walking around inside. every step counts. :-)

There is a time to cut the apron strings. Our son was very upset when we moved, but he was all ready married and had his own house. Our daughter was fine with it. Since the day our kids were born all what we did revolved around how it would benefit the family as a whole. They are grown now and on their own and we did our job raising them to be productive sussesful happy adults. Now it's our time. For petty sake we only moved a half hour away. There will probably be a day we can not physically be able to take care of our home and then it will be time to move on to somewhere with less work. I have seen too many older people who refuse to leave their homes become a severe burden to their grown children and neighbors .

Is the idea of "family wealth" an important one to you? My husband and I are trying to plan for a passing-down of as much as possible. It's true that you can't take it with you when you go, but you can create a legacy -- and you never know if you'll have a special-need grandchild or great-grandchild who may dearly benefit from the sacrifice, frugality, and forethought of previous generations.

Something to keep in mind, when planning for an "ultimate" dream house. :-)

summersrhythm, your comments are appalling. You know NOTHING about me other than I'm 74 and I need help. Lazy? I've never liked cleaning a house and have had help for over 40 years, but now I cannot do it due to health issues. I loved working in my garden and did so for decades and have created (with my late husband) a lovely garden, both on the front and in the back. Again, due to health issues, even sitting outside and "pointing" is becoming more difficult.

Yes, I too know a handful of people in their 90's who can still live independently and who clean, cook and mow their own lawns. But I also know people in their 50's and 60's who cannot do this due to health problems.

At some point, we all experience the ravages of age - out bodies finally fail us. It's not easy to accept - I'd love to be able to again work in my garden. Clean? No, I'd prefer to hire someone, but then I've always had allergies and cleaning made them worse - perhaps that's why I've always hated it. But lazy? No, my friends would never describe me as such. I was always a very active person - always doing something, cooking, gardening, volunteering, fixing up my house. I don't like the fact that I cannot do these things any longer.

The older we get, the more we need some form of help. Why do you think it's called "assisted living" in retirement/nursing homes? The patients don't require the care of a skilled nurse - they need some help with everyday living.

As for exercising - I go to pulmonary rehab 3 times weekly and do as intensive a workout as is possible with my physical limitations. Just getting there is a workout, as well!

I hope you just keep going strong until you're 100 and then die in your sleep. Even the elderly who are healthy eventually have to come to terms with the fact they simply no longer have the endurance they once did. But if you're like most people, you will slowly develop various health issues which will slow you down and which will also teach you humility, something you could certainly use.

Anglo, I didn't mean in a bad way, did you see the smiling faces. Well, I wish you're in good health, and live a long life , keep walking and moving until you're 125! Cheers! :-)

Dame, he could pass down the house to his kids. The wealth is in the house, it doesn't need to be cash. Right? :-)

From my personal experience with inheritance involving a single piece of especially valuable real estate -- when more than one heir is in the picture -- not a good idea. There are other ways of preserving wealth in a dynasty trust.

Nobody knows what the future holds, and you can't live your life on "what ifs". A good will will take care of the distribution of personal wealth, cash or real estate. Build your dream home. So maybe you only are able to live in it for only the next 20 years or less. The home will only appreciate. It's not like you are throwing you money away. Would you like to live in you dream home for the next 20 years, or dream in your current home of the dream home you could of had? You have worked hard for it, so go for it.

Why is your dream house 3x of most retirement houses? Start with that. It doesn’t sound like a very efficient design. It sounds like someone added on an extra room for every single want that they had regardless of proportion, restraint, or good design. Multi functional spaces rock.

If if you want to build, you start with an architect. Not a wishlist of a rabbit warren of rooms.

I say do it! Better to do it, enjoy move if/when it no longer works for you. Better than wondering if and what might be. As said, you will enjoy a bigger house for/with your children as they marry have children.

I never make financial decisions based on leaving money to my children, I'm happy to but its not a goal.

I'm on the wrong side of the great retirement divide myself, and, for me, the thought of having to maintain, heat, cool, and simply live in a house that big would not exactly knock my socks of. But that's me, not you, and if you can afford it you should follow that dream.

A couple of things you might want to bear in mind, though. First, you will age, and as you do so, you will need help to maintain a house that big. Do you want the intrusiveness and the expense of a cleaning service, assuming you can find a reliable one?

Second, while it's nice to have space for family visits, I wouldn't build a dream house around that concept. When we retired, the three kids were already scattered, and we didn't want to live in any of the cities/towns they'd gone to. And just as well, I might add: 10 years later, the kids are still scattered, one of them has moved cities three times in that time frame, and another is about to move to a new town as well. Of the grandkids, one is out of her parents' home and living in yet another city, one is about to move to attend university, and I expect most of the others will follow suit. The nearest child is 500 miles away, the furthest, around 2500. So while we planned our home to have space for some family members to visit and stay with us, we knew visits would be occasional rather than regular, and that we were unlikely to ever have more than three staying with us at any one time. It would have been a waste including a whole lot of spare bedrooms and massive dining space for visits that would never happen.

Third, bigger isn't necessarily better when it comes to housing, even dream housing. You might want to read the "Not So Big House" which makes the point that large houses can be cavernous and unwelcoming, and that smaller houses with better planning and finishes can be much more comfortable to live in. A room that is properly designed to serve multiple purposes, and is in constant use may be a much better solution than three separate rooms, used occasionally. It can still meet all your wants without chewing up space and electrical power.

I am definitely not saying that you shouldn't have your dream home: you absolutely have earned it. What I am saying is that, with a good architect, you might find that your dream home doesn't need to be as big as you think it needs to be. It would be worth finding out.

It is your money and you are the ones that get to decide how you spend it. If having a 7,000 square foot house with a 6 car garage makes you happy, then go for it.

Personally, I want to downsize and make my life simpler. We have a 3,000 square foot house and live in less than half of it. I hate having to clean, heat and cool the seldom used rooms. I think as children's families grow, it is easier for me to travel to see them than it is for them to come to see me. There are only two of us compared three, four or more of them. If we want to have a large family reunion, we can always rent a huge house at the beach or in the mountains where everyone can stay under one roof. When we can no longer travel, I know that I don't want to be living in and maintaining a 3,000 square foot house.

Everyone has different views. Only you know what is right for you.

If you are still working and plan to for awhile I would build the house just because you want it. However if you are retiring shortly I would hold off. Think about what your retirement life would be like. You now have the freedom to travel extensively, live in another country for months at a time, live in different areas of this country, take up time consuming hobbies that might have been too time consuming while working etc. When you are working you are generally home based because of the jobs. But when not, you have alot more freedom and the big giant house may become a boat anchor around your neck with maintenance and upkeep when you would rather be off doing something else.

My living square footage is about 3800 - the shop is 3200 / separate buildings. And that's going to be PLENTY! (it's actually up from my existing house)

It would be interesting to know what is driving the 7000 sq feet. Unless every single room never does any double duty, it seems pretty darn big for 2 folks the majority of the time - but - then again I don't know how you live.

We're at 3-4 bedrooms, but the 2 spare bedrooms will double as an office and as a "thunder room" / den to help the dogs that are reactive to thunderstorms.

I would caution you on 2 things - building a home for how you 'envision' yourself living vs how you actually live, and having a lot of floors. You can easily put in an elevator, but I find myself not heading upstairs in my existing house because I feel disconnected to the other folks in the house.

Again - I have no idea about your age, your health, your mobility and your specific needs - only you do - but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE enlist the help of an architect so that you can get spaces that relate well to each other, and something this big that is significant, not just big... An architect can help you with an aging in place specialist, as well, and make those suggestions somewhat transparent to the design.

You've got a lot of great advice.

Here is my 2 cents, based on being in a somewhat similar situation.

Think about what you like about your current house, vs. what bugs you. If something bugs you, can you really quantify why?

I lived for over a decade in a small starter home that we probably way over-improved. 2 professionals with good incomes, no extravagant habits, and no kids made for a lot of disposable income and lots of retirement savings to boot.

I got the itch to live in something "nicer." I knew what I liked and didn't like about my starter home, and what I thought I wanted was a bigger house.

So we built a bigger house.

And you know what? I made it too damn big. Seriously.

I'm not going to give square footage because it doesn't matter. What matters is basically I'm living out the 3 bears story line.

Hindsight being fantastic, it turns out I loved that cute little starter home. Slightly bigger with improved function and flow would have been perfect. Instead I went whole hog ("You only live once!")....and now I'm in a beautiful home that feel way too damn big to me.

This is such a personal decision. There is no right answer. I guess all I would say is really, truly, carefully think about this. You talked about wanting all these different function rooms. Do you need all of them, or could some do double-duty? What is your favorite room in your house now? What do you like about it?

I totally get that it's not about the money. It wasn't necessarily a money thing for me either. In the end, it's come down to comfort....and my current house is uncomfortably large for me.

Think about this carefully. You have no reason to rush.

We're going bigger, but only by about 970 square feet. We're going from a 1901 square foot 3 bedroom, 2 bath condo to a 2870 square foot house. Before we built, we really considered what our current and future needs would be.

We are in FL so have to plan for the kids and for friends to visit. However we realized they wouldn't all be visiting at the same time (4 kids, 2 without spouses and S.O's) or if they were, there were great hotels within walking distance of us. So we realized we didn't need or want extra bedrooms that would never be used.

We also realized that all our entertaining was informal and much of it could be done outdoors. So we combined the kitchen and dining room and made a larger living area. Plus we made it so it opens to our outdoor living area.

DH wanted his own office and I needed a studio since I'm an artist. My studio doubles as a third bedroom if needed and DH's office could someday sleep a couple of grandkids if needed. The one guest bedroom has a Murphy bed and doubles as our exercise room when we don't have guests.

Add in 2 1/2 baths and even a hiding space under the stairs for the dog and we have more than enough square footage for the 2 of us. Plus with the elevator to the guest room/guest bath and my studio and balcony, we know we'll be able to age in place in the home until the time we need the help and care of a more able bodied person.

Nothing wrong with building a 7000 square foot house if that's what you truly need and want, but I'd really think through the rooms you use and need now and how they're used.

As others have said, a lot really depends on how you'll be using the space. If you think you each need a separate office, a craft room, a separate theater room, a game room, a large living room, a family room, a dining room, multiple bedrooms and bathrooms, etc, I'd wonder why.

What are your true needs now and in the future? Maybe what you really need is the large garage for your collection and a smaller house. Or maybe not. Only you can decide but as others have suggested if you sit down with an architect you might be pleasantly surprised at what you can design in less space.

Depending on your area, I have seen big dream houses selling for way less per square foot than they were built. Particularly the ones with big workshops barns and out buildings. Are you open to buying an existing house that meets your needs?

Not quite the same situation since we are a younger family with a 12 year old son (who lives with us half the time - the other half he is at his fathers) but we are in reality we are 2.5 (ha!) person family in a 5500sq. ft. home we custom built. We absolutely love it! No regrets whatsoever. Especially this time of year when I can comfortably host a 60 person party. Or sleep my siblings, their spouses and their children comfortably for a long weekend.

my brother's home is almost 7000 square ft and they are near retirement age and have never had children they live in montana and have guests more than half the time.....they seem to enjoy it but it would drive me crazy....my brother doesn't work but i'd rather have a job than to do all that entertaining (and cooking and cleaning)

We have friends who built a 4 bedroom, 7000+ square foot house. Once my friends' kids got married and had their own kids, the four bedrooms just didn't work once a few other relatives arrived. They ended up selling that house and building another house in the 5,000 square foot range that worked better for their family situation.

I remember my husband and I hated going back to our parents' houses because there just wasn't any privacy, and his parents even had a huge house. I want my kids to feel welcome and comfortable here when they visit, so they'll stay more than one or two nights! An office, an exercise room, a tv room, a hobby room - all of these can be used as bedrooms if they can be closed off from the rest of the house, and we chose this house precisely so we can close off a few of the rooms to use as sleeping quarters in a pinch.

If money is no issue, build the house of your dreams, but something slightly smaller might feel more comfortable. And if one of you dies well before the other, will the surviving spouse feel comfortable in such a large house alone? As for me, I don't want to leave my home if my husband passes well before me, and I don't think he would want to, either, since we'd still have the issue of kids and grandkids visiting. (Our house is 3600 square feet so I think we'd both be ok here.)

It sounds like it won't be a financial burden in any way and that you've certainly worked hard and can choose what you'd like, but one thing that I'd caution is to think about how comfortable or homey a 7,000 square foot house will feel with just the two of you living there. I know that at times your grown kids will come to visit, but for the most part it will just be the two of you in a massive space.

I'd definitely keep that thought in mind as you plan room sizes and ceiling heights. Think about creating some cozy spaces that aren't ginormous just for the sake of it. Our current house is 2,700 square feet and once in a while my husband and the kids are all away and I have the place to myself (can I get a hallelujah). It always surprises me at how adrift I feel in that much space when I'm alone, and I definitely am drawn to our small TV room because of the cozy feel.

See if you can visit some homes in the size that you're considering. Spend some time paying attention to whether or not it feels comfortable to you and your wife. Perhaps it will feel great, in which case, go for it. (But please for the love of god have an awesome architect on board and a really skilled builder so that it doesn't turn into an awful McMansion that can't sell once you're gone.)

zippity1, what does your brother use for heating in the winter? Propane, oil or electric heating? I am just wondering.

Caroline, what do you use for heating? Are you in the countryside?

If you're living in a colder zone, heating a big house can be expensive......

Housing is so regional. Here, a 7,000 square foot house is very rare and very expensive. You are fortunate that it is attainable financially and if this is your dream, I don't see why not pursue it.

The only downside I see is that large, expensive houses can be difficult to sell...at least around here. The market is much more narrow than for starter homes.

I am just getting a taste of the empty nest. My oldest left for college this fall. We have a 4BR 3BA ranch that is about 2400 square feet. It is starting to feel too big. I close off his BR when he is gone, but need to have it there when he is home on break and next summer. The basement playroom is mostly empty now...just a vast expanse of an unused room. My busy house is getting so quiet. I cannot imagine having nearly 3X this space.

We are in NJ, in the suburbs not in the countryside. We have 4 zones and gas heat. Our heating cooling bills are actually reasonable.

Thanks Caroline. Gas is much cheaper than the propane. We just found it out now, new to the country living, only part time. :-)

Not sure the style of house you're thinking of building, but you would be wise to consider aging-in-place issues and how maintainable that house will be as you age, not just in square footage but in terms of ease of living when you're old or if disability comes into play (think walker, cane, wheelchair, etc). Monstrous houses just are not a good idea for the elderly, even if they're one-story -- I wouldn't even consider a multi-level (other than one-story with basement). There was a recent thread on this if you do a search, and I'm sure with a little Googling you'll find lots of information about this. In my area, ranch style homes are hotter than a bonfire, all these middle-aged and older people ditching the multi-story homes. Unfortunately, we're all going to get old, and if your kids are college-aged, those days are going to creep up on you sooner than you probably think.

For many of us living in a temperate climate, heating or cooling a house isn't much of a consideration. Also many of us use a housecleaner so cleaning isn't much of a consideration. Of course I know we all live in a different areas and have different lifestyles so the comments are thought provoking.

Create a list of EVERYTHING you MIGHT want to do with your money. Some people get an RV of their dreams. Some people buy a pied de terre in Paris, London, New York or what not. Travel 6 months a year etc. Create an endowment with an organization that you care the most. Think really big. Put in a wind generator in Nepal (my friends did that)

We have a boat that is ocean going and we will sail around the world on the boat with our time and money before we get too old. This boat cost more than most houses.

Then prioritize what is important to you. If the house comes up at the top, then do that. Otherwise, you have other dreams that can come true with your money.

Anglophilia, that’s why house cleaning is the most awesome job possible for a college student who doesn’t want to start a real business. Make $30-50/hr without a degree finished. Have your car paid off easily by graduation and a tidy sum toward a house down payment. :)

This assumes that the parents didn’t suck and the kid can clean a house. But a lot of kids these days aren’t taught to wipe their own rears until they’re in grade school, so chances that mom actually took the time to teach cleaning rather than do it for him is sadly low.

You'd need to buy more insurance if you had college kids doing the cleaning, they might do more damages, plus they might hurt themselves. Lol

One of my neighbors asked me this summer if I could hire her next door neighbor's son, a college kid to help out with my roses, not a good idea! The kid knew nothing about roses, gardening, he'd do more damage and get himself hurt in my land of thousands of throns, I have over 1000 roses. It's more peaceful I take care them myself after work.

Off the topic - Why do you want your kids cleaning houses as a part time job?

Unless the kids will clean house as their profession. It would be better to find a job that will give working experience to be put on the resume for future job hunting.

My kid worked part time in a tech company during junior and senior years. A well known consulting company hired the kid after the graduation with a salary as an experienced employee instead of a new graduate. It indeed gave a nice head start on the career path.

Back to the topic - Sometimes down the road, you or your heir(s) will sell the house. You may want to check the resell market for a 7000 sqft house in your area. Might as well "Begin with the end in mind". As eventually, everything is relevant to money.

I have had two friends who did this--a 3,000 sq ft house and a 4,000 square foot house. The first couple felt like, after all that comes with a big house--big taxes, big heating and cooling bills--they had no money for other things and they sold and bought a smaller place. The second couple seems to have the cash to enjoy their dream home and do all the other things they enjoy, like travel. My thought is that, if this is what you want and you can afford it--go for it. If, further down the line, you got the big house thing out of your system, you can always downsize.

Azmom—It teaches you to run a business on a small scale. You manage accounts and customers, advertise, and manage scheduling and overhead. And the pay rate is better than an engineering internship, and you can do it during the school year (and we have TONS of local companies that do summer internships around here, too, so you can also do it part time during the summer). It also teaches hard work, something most kids today think they are too good for.

My kids are in college before they can legally work for anyone but me. But they can actually legally work for themselves—and transport themselves within the neighborhood, too, lol, if they hire out for yard work and the like. Internships at the college level are summer only by a ratio of 10 to 1.

All of this assumes you have a major that has meaningful internships. Even some very wise majors don’t have that kind of opportunity until grad school. Only a couple of places take physics majors, for instance.

I also teach my kids construction—whether or not they ever do it, they need to know if it’s done right—gardening, and basic car maintenance.

Teaching kids to clean is much, much harder than teaching them high school math. I get why parents don’t. Kids are sloooow. They’re forgetful. They’re rarely excited by scrubbing toilets. It takes a long time to teach them to really get things clean and evaluate if they are clean when they are done. I think I spend more time teaching my kids life skills than all subjects combined.

I know someone who started mowing lawns in college and sold his company at graduation for $250k. Not shabby for four years while going to school. But that’s a different level of commitment!

Two thoughts:

1- I suggest you pretend that you are one of the heirs to a 7000 square foot house. Will it be easy to resell, say, on the market six months or less? Will the cost be recouped dollar for dollar or better? Or will the house sell for much less than construction costs? Talking to a local luxury property real estate agent about your local market now can be helpful.

2- Some people, as they get older, think more and more about the impact their lifestyles have on the earth. If your thoughts are leaning this way already, you can investigate greener construction techniques.

Sounds like you two are in the enviable position of being able to afford whichever option you choose. That's great! If money is no object then go for it! One thing to consider is the maintenance. Not sure if this is on your radar but condo living is very attractive for many people in their retirement years because they can quickly forget what mowing the grass or shoveling snow feels like.

What about a more modest fulltime dream home PLUS a modest vacation dream home? Maybe at a lake or the beach, which might prove to be a draw as your children enter adulthood and begin raising families themselves.

I doubt someone considering a 7200sqft home is even thinking about a condo.

I wouldn’t consider a condo until most of my hearing is gone. Lol.

He is a classic car collector, he needs space, condos are for toy car collectors. Lol He might need a huge barn plus 6 car garage at the end. 4 car garage would be for 2 daily cars plus 2 summer cars, only left 2 car garage for classic cars. When you collect classic cars, it's hard to stop at 2. :-)

I’d totally do it! But I would make sure you hire an architect to design it. Maybe he can help get the size down a little also.

There have been some great points made in this thread. Ultimately, life is unpredictable. Even if you only spend 10 years in the dream house but then must downsize or move into assisted living, those will still have been 10 wonderful years. I would get the best architect and contractor you can (to minimize the stress of building!).

I also liked the idea of purchasing a more modest vacation home nearby that isn't too far away (especially if it can be somewhere you might live during the build, assuming you're retired and don't need to be in your primary city daily). This way you're close enough to check on the project but you don't have to rent a place and deal with that hassle. We have a 3,000 sq ft vacation home that is larger than our primary home (which is only 2600 sq ft). It works out well as we often have friends and family visit us there. It's only 2 hours from our primary home near a lake, which is close enough for weekend getaways but still far enough to "get away" and just relax. It's also a change of pace. Some folks even get a smaller pied a terre in the city, but my idea of relaxation is to get away from the city.

Best wishes!

I don’t think they are retired or even near retirement. A lot people who have college kids are in the 40’s. :-)

A couple of small suggestions if you build. Have a separate heating and cooling system in the area that family would stay in when visiting so that the area could be blocked off when they are not there. Larger houses should already have this planned for. One of the beginning art classes had a project to build a dwelling of some type. One of the things discussed was methods to separate levels of noise. This was back in the 60's so many houses did not have the open concept. Having bedrooms, a play area, and kitchen away from the main dwelling either as a separate building with an enclosed walkway between or large pantry/mudroom between the visiting part of the house and the residential portion would allow children or others to retreat for naps or private time. Could also allow for aging in place if either one or the other would need a more hospital like living area.

If you collect vintage cars & need a 6 car garage then GO FOR IT! That's all there is to it. :0)

Wow! What amazing words of wisdom - thank you for all your comments. Just to add a little color on some of the questions that were asked:

• We had our 3 kids very early, so while they are all off to college now my wife and I are still relatively young (48 & 46, respectively). We are still very healthy and active so we probably won't think seriously about retiring until we are around 55 or so.
• We have been working with an amazing architect over the past several months. He has been incredibly thoughtful in the design and flow of our house. It is absolutely beautiful.
• We are in the Midwest so part of the square footage includes basement space. The current design has about 3,600 sq ft on the main floor, 1,600 sq on the 2nd floor and about 2,200 finished sq ft in the basement for a total of roughly 7,400 sq feet of finished space. This does not include the 6-car garage, pool area or outdoor space.
• The first floor is pretty normal - foyer, kitchen, dining room, great room, master suite w/attached laundry, pantry, mud room, office, music room, lanai and a couple of half-baths.
• The 2nd floor has 3 bedroom suites and a laundry room
• The basement is where all the "nice to have's reside" For example, we have a large bar area, wine cellar, TV room, fitness room, dry sauna, play room (for future grandchildren), pool bathroom and a bunch of storage. The basement also walks out to a covered outdoor kitchen area which then flows into the pool area. We entertain a ton so we designed the basement to be very open and spacious.
• We also have a lake house that is a couple hours away. Honestly, we are thinking of selling it because we are not sure we will ever want to leave this house... although I think our kids will protest quite heavily because they love to go to the lake!
• The house will sit on roughly .75 acres. We fully intend on outsourcing all the landscaping, yard work and pool maintenance. We both have pretty demanding jobs and don't really want to spend all our free time pushing a mower around or cleaning a pool. No offense to anyone - we have done this work for years, but the older we get the less appealing it is.
• We are installing a geothermal system that will not only heat and cool the house and provide hot water, but it will also heat the pool very efficiently. We are also going heavy with insulation, windows and doors. We had an energy study performed and all indications are that our utility bills should not be significantly higher than our current house.

Long story short - we are going to go for it! Maybe in 10 or 15 years it will be too much for us to handle, but until then we are going to squeeze every ounce of enjoyment out of this house and create some wonderful memories with our family. Thank you again to everyone who contributed to this thread. We are sincerely thankful for your input.

Very happy for you guys! I was right about your age! It sounds really beautiful! Good luck! :-)

Cheers

Sounds good. Enjoy it!

Sounds like you've already invested the time and energy to come up with a great plan that is thoughtful and well-conceived! Your layout (and the maintenance plan) sound ideal to me. Sorry for assuming you were older--my peers and I all had our children later in our 30s. Thus, we're in our 40s and still have kids in elementary school.

If we could afford to do what you're doing now in our 40s, I would DEFINITELY do it as you could have 30 years in the dream house before you "need" to downsize. Plus, having the master suite on the ground level and extra suites on the second floor for live-in aides may mean you can age in place until you have to be carried out feet first!

Put the elevator in as a just in case.

My husband and I had a similar situation in January (aside from the kid thing we have dogs) so I won't go in to the fine details.

I think it really important that you consider where you want to be 20-30 years from now. Our three main priorities were: downsizing from a two story house to a one level. Being close to the water (we found a place at Rehoboth Beach Delaware so we are close to the Atlantic Ocean) and we wanted to age in place which meant having things we need/want within a walking distance.

We have moved all up and down the east coast so we really know what we are doing. The really important issue you need to consider is that the moving process does not get any easier as you age (After being in the same house for 15 years I forgot about that part). You just don't have the energy to deal with all the mess and confusion. Plus, you have been in your house 20 years, you need to do a root around just to see what you are going to be dealing with.

I will never forget about 3/4 through our packing, tossing, donating process movers were scheduled to come close to the end of August. At dinner the conversation went to what and how people deal with a move. One of my friends made a very profound statement (this after at least 4 months of intense packing and purging): The movers are going to come whether you are ready or not.

I went home, looked at all of the stuff that still had to go somewhere and almost cried (instead I had a shot of Bourbon)

Good luck!

Mike

p.s. if you drink it will probably increase substantially.

I can't imagine making a decision where to live based on what I may want in 20-30 years, 10 years maybe but anymore than that is too much.

It isn't difficult (baring a disability) to pack and move, four months of intense packing and purging is either not intensive or maybe hoarding problem.

That said, we all live different lifestyles, there is no one right or wrong.