Beautiful home and setting! If you can find a convenient 6' x 6' area for an elevator shaft that is an option. Or make a bedroom downstairs with the den and bath, but you'd still have to go upstairs for the laundry unless you can put a stacked unit downstairs somewhere. Or there are those stair master seats.

custom building is fun but soooo hard! its a nice house but if you really need a 1- story home i'd go for it! It also is very expensive! 1.5 acres is a lot!

What a lovely home.

Do you have multiple stairs to get in the house no matter which entrance you take? My parents' have seven steps into their home through the front door or from the garage into the house. (And then seven more stairs up to their master bedroom - it's a split level house.) This makes it hard for them to age in place, as it's not as simple as getting an elevator. Getting into the house to get to the elevator has proven to be very difficult when varies health issues have come up.

Moving is no fun at all, so I'm with your husband on that, but I do think that you have valid reasons for considering it if it's not possible to move the master bedroom and laundry to the first floor (and if you have stairs into the house through the garage, etc.). None of these things would even be on my radar if I wasn't currently addressing them with my parents, though they are quite a bit older than you guys.

Your home is absolutely beautiful and I'm guessing just perfect for a family.

I'm in your age group.

When my parents were around our age, they decided to sell their colonial home and move to a ranch. They went from 3/4 of an acre to 2 full acres. The house they moved to allowed for more entertaining space and usable space for offices for both, and less wasted space on bedrooms that wouldn't get used.

My Mother renovated that house and made sure to make it handicap accessible which in their later years turned out to be a good thing as my Mom developed parkinson's disease. Because she was in a house on one level, with the house basically made ADA compliant, she was able to stay in the house until the last 6 months of her life. She and my Dad had over 30 wonderful years in that house.

To make your decision ask a number of questions.

1. What is it you really need?

2. Can your house be reconfigured to add an elevator so if you become disabled you can still get up to your bedroom?

(For example, we're building a 2 story house because we're on a city lot. However the downstairs has our master suite, a large living room, kitchen, dining area, laundry near the bedroom and DH's study. Upstairs is a guest bedroom and my studio. However what our house does have is an elevator in case I ever become disabled either temporarily or permanently.)

3. Do you need a house with all those bathrooms? Are you the one cleaning all those bathrooms?

4. What can you do in your present house to make it more accessible if you become disabled? Is the floor plan conducive to moving around the house if you ever need a walker or a wheelchair?

5. What about those stairs from outside to inside? If ever needed can a ramp be added?

6. Are you using all those bedrooms or are they just costing you to heat and cool.

(Going back to our new build again, even our guest room will be used on a daily basis. It will have my exercise bike in it and instead of a bed taking up the floor space, we are putting in a Murphy bed. Technically we still have 3 bedrooms and possibly a fourth, but it's just that they are used for our needs versus just taking up space.)

7. Do you need a kitchen and a separate dining room? And a den and a full bathroom?

I think you need to sit down with your husband and figure out why he doesn't want to move.

You can point out to him that as you both age, if you create a house that takes into consideration aging in place, you'll both be able to stay in the new home for much longer than you will in your current home.

If you build new, you can create a house that will work for you now as well as into your later years. You can make sure there are no thresholds, and no stairs or if there are stairs, there is also an elevator. You can make sure doors have levers instead of knobs. You can make sure that every room in the house gets used on an almost daily basis instead of just being more to heat and cool. You can make sure the shower has no curb and is instead a walk in shower. You can make sure the house is more energy efficient.

Beautiful house. The advice above is all excellent.

If you yourself are currently having a hard time with stairs, and it is not going to get any easier, try using the den as a bedroom just for a couple weeks. You may can hire professional movers for a couple of hours to take out the den furniture and bring down a bed from one upstairs bedroom. The den furniture can go upstairs in that bedroom.

In the meantime, try going to some open houses for new one-story construction houses in your area for a look-see.

Your house is lovely. I am in the Raleigh / Durham area, myself.

I can truly understand wanting to stay - but unless you have an easy place to put in an elevator and your home was designed with the ability to age in place - then you are probably better off moving while it's "easy".

Do your other spaces need to be remodeled to make this work with an elevator? Do you have a large walk in shower that has plywood behind the tile in addition to backer board so that you could affix hand rails? Could you get in and out of your closet with a walker or wheelchair? Could you use or kitchen?

I don't know the age of your house and how it's finished, etc - but what upcoming maintenance do you have? Do you have reliable help for yard maintenance, leave blowing, painting, gutter cleaning? When will you need a new roof? HVAC system? Does your power go out frequently? How far out of town are you - will that impact your ability to easily get groceries / get to Dr appointments?

The house layout is only part of the equation.

The layout is the very least:

Emotion/familiarity, Physicality, Finances, ......

Roof line $$$$ , Site, Architect/plan , location, location, location,

Constitution for stress/planning et al, and an actual move

That about covers it.

Excellent points jannicone.

You have a beautiful home and I truly understand the desire to stay in familiar circumstances. Most homeowners eventually become physically unable to maintain a home and garden and having to leave necessary tasks undone will be a constant source of future stress. As physical limitations increase, it is important to focus your energies on activities that improve your life and limit mundane labors. While finances and practicalities are important, you need to allow your heart to guide you. Your friends and family may try to convince you that something is wonderful, but you won't be happy unless you like it. This is a very important decision so make it for yourself and your husband, not the rest of your circle.

If you like to garden, would you be happier in a property where you could have a large beautiful courtyard with easier to manage raised beds and no lawn to mow? Analyze what activities you truly enjoy versus which you do by habit or necessity. If you like to chat with neighbors, it becomes easier when you live in a residential community or neighborhood with small lots and sidewalks. On the other hand, if you can't stand hearing some else's radio or kids playing, perhaps you want to focus on how to meet your needs in the current property.

I also am in your age group. Our current home has a FULL flight of stairs to get inside.

This past winter I fell and broke my ankle. I was off of it for 8 weeks. That's when I began thinking about accessibility issues, but DH was not receptive. He likes this house. This past May he had open heart surgery. No stairclimbing for 4 weeks. NOW he's more amenable to moving and we are actively looking.

Your DH may simply be in denial and will remain so until HE has issues. Good luck.

All of these comments have been great! There is a two-car attached garage with a threshold. This is the entrance we use the most. The home was built in 1986. I have had 7 orthopedic surgeries in the 12 yrs we have been in this house. We have no help to clean and maintain house and property. None of the bathrooms would accommodate a wheel chair.

I have spent time with a family member who built a one-story home not to long ago...I feel as though I am 32 again and able to do much more. In our current home ( I use this term loosely because it has never felt like home to me) I feel and act much more sedentary and overwhelmed.

This house also needs updating....geesh!

Then just sell it and move to a gated 55+ community with patio homes. Get a golf cart. Make new friends. There are some very nice 2 car 2 bedroom, 2 bath with den/office at about 1800 sq ft.

Can you get an intermediary to help convince your husband that you need to move now while you're both able?

Remind your husband it's just a house and the memories will follow wherever you wind up.

Also please don't take this the wrong way, but if you've had 7 surgeries that affect your quality of life and being on a single floor made you feel younger, then your husband needs to take your needs into consideration. To do less is not a true partnership.

Build a 1 story home attached to your two story house, and you'll both be happy.

I think that if you share the story about how much better that the one story house made you feel - that will help hubby understand how heavily this is weighing on you. Hugs.

My parents built a beautiful split level home in the woods in 1977. Dad passed away, and as Mom's health diminished, the house that she loved so much felt like a prison. She was overwhelmed with the upkeep, and the stairs.

She moved into a 2-bedroom apartment in a senior building (8 units), completely accessible. Her activity level increased when she was less burdened by the house.

Tish, I hope your and your hubby can find a lovely one-level home. Moving IS hard - I understand that. My Mom hated to leave her woods, her bird feeders, her fireplace, her big kitchen. But she has not regretted the move for a moment.

Best wishes to you.

I watched my parents age in place in their simple two-bedroom house and demanded that as I approached 70 and DH approached 80 that we move to a one-story house. The one I found is larger than our quad-level, and also has more large windows to the outside, so I am also pleased with it. The laundry is also on the main floor. DH grumbled for about a year and now will not look back. Fast forward to last fall when he broke his leg (age 90). The only accommodation that we had to make was to remove a door between the bedroom and bathroom (now replaced). The physical therapist was so happy when we told her our house was a ranch. There are still two steps to get in, but we learned how to get the wheelchair over them. DH fully recovered.

The only downside to no stairs is that I gained ten pounds!

I suggest that you stop using the inside stairs for a while. You can sleep in the den and have hubby do the laundry and clean all the upstairs rooms.

vyonnecmartin - GOOD FOR YOU! Your story is inspirational! (and your plan is a little devious, yet brilliant at the same time!)

Look. It's a common dilemma. Man is mayor of the neighborhood , King of his castle.

To consider:

Which is more preferable? To "go" while the going allows for health and the freedom of lesser maintenance and more free time for more enjoyable things?!

Or.....To miss that "however many years " window, cling to the house. And guaranteed you'll wish you'd let go of it sooner. ..... That's a guarantee .

Most of us spin the wheel and miss:)

BTW: I had saved these articles on universal design:

[Aging In Place[(https://www.houzz.com/magazine/what-to-look-for-in-a-house-if-you-plan-to-age-in-place-stsetivw-vs~82644128)

[Bath Aging in Place[(https://www.houzz.com/magazine/11-ways-to-age-proof-your-bathroom-stsetivw-vs~60576589)

[Kitchen Aging In Place[(https://www.houzz.com/magazine/kitchen-confidential-10-ways-to-promote-aging-in-place-stsetivw-vs~56039514)

OP: I'm in my mid sixties, better half is mid seventies. We had a lovely house in a small seaside village - great views, front and back, beautiful hardwood floors, nice size - but lots of stairs and a huge yard to maintain. It just got to be too much (plus local health facilities were very limited).

We made the decision that we had to move, and we'd better do it while we still had the energy to. So, we scouted around (for several years, actually) before finding a town, also seaside but much bigger, and with more medical facilities than you could shake a stick at. We then found a builder who was in the process of ripping down an utterly undistinguished house and squeezing two houses onto on a big lot within walking distance to the main street.

The design of the house he was building wasn't ideal: tiny lot, orientation less than perfect - but it was better than any of the many, many houses we'd looked at and the location was great. So we went for it. Putting our own house on the market, decluttering, selling, moving, (and living in a rental place for three months before our new house was finished) was a real challenge, and not something I'd ever want to do again, but it would have been much worse if we'd been even a few years older.

Fast forward: we've been living in our house now for two years, and it was the best move we ever made. Single story, not even a front stair; tiny garden (but big enough for me to grow herbs and tomatoes); nice back deck for the occasional BBQ; open area living/dining/kitchen (best kitchen I've ever had with oodles of storage); laundry; 3 bedrooms, one for us, one for visiting family, one for our little home exercise/music room; 2 bathrooms; and a separate TV room/library. Everything we need or want, on one level, wide hallways, easy to manage and clean.

Coincidentally, about a year after we moved in I started to develop some serious osteoarthritis issues. Not only can I get all the medical help, physiotherapy and hydroptherapy locally, but I can manage quite well in the house. If we'd still been in our previous house, I'd have been in real trouble.

Moral of the story: make the decision while you still have the energy to deal with the inevitable stresses. And a compact, single story house, is the way to go as we age.

Yes, I agree with folk here - move while you can do so with minimal stress. With that many orthopedic surgeries -- one level living will be ideal. You don't need to move to a 55+ community to get what you need. (Personally, I prefer to be in a multigenerational environment; I am in your age bracket). House hunt, or build - consider the pros and cons of each. Your current home, from your descriptions, will not allow either of you to age in place.

Your house belongs on a Christmas card, it's gorgeous! I would be sad to leave it, if I were you! (But you have the right to move if the timing feels right!)

I agree with CPartist and the others over all though - we designed our new home for ADA/aging in place as well.

your home is beautiful, but gives the appearance of being tied to your car as much as having stairs issues.

an elevator can get you from one floor to another, but if you have to drive to get to anywhere, you are hemming yourself in. if being unable to drive will prevent your getting to an appointment, or to the movies, or to a concert, thats bad.

single floor living is nice but multi-floor with elevator/stair lift is just as nice. being able to leave your home in a scooter to go out to eat, priceless.

You have used your name to post on a VERY public space about a very personal problem. This is something only your husband and you can decide, not a group of strangers on a public forum. The decision involves your marriage dynamic and that's not something to "go public" with, ever!

I live in a 2 story house that is, in fact, a 3 story one as I have a basement garage in which my car is always parked. I have serious pulmonary issues - use supplementary oxygen. But, I love my house and hope to stay here forever, if possible. I am looking into the possibility of installing an elevator over 3 floors - not sure it's possible, but if it is, I will do so when it appears I will no longer be able to do stairs.

In the meantime, I have cleaning help every 2 weeks, a yard man for 4 hrs weekly (including in the winter, when he polishes silver and does lots of chores for me). My grandson mows. I could not live here without this help!

It's too bad you don't love your house - it's very attractive. I'm older than you - I'm 74 - but I had cleaning help before my health failed me. For 10 years, I spent about 3 months in Maine in the winter in a faculty dorm apt. My husband taught in a boarding school there and we had a "commuter marriage"! I can't tell you what a BAD difference it made for me and for our dogs, just being on one floor! Going up and down stairs is excellent exercise. My doctors have told me that they believe the biggest mistake older people make is selling their two story homes for a one story. Within a few months, they are no longer ABLE to go up a flight of stairs and that's NOT a good thing.

You need to think about what makes you feel so alive and free when you visit your friend. I don't think it's the one story living. You and your husband need to have some serious conversations.

@Anglophilia - while you make some good points, things also depend on the specifics of the medical issues this couple might have. Two stories might be fine in some cases; in mine, my orthopedic surgeon was quite relieved to find I had a single-story home. Less strain on my hip might give me a bit more time before the inevitable hip replacement that lies in my future.

As for exercise, I have more than adequate exercise walking to all the places I can get to without having to climb into a car: doctor, dentist, favourite restaurants, supermarket. I will not be driving forever, after all, so finding a home close in to town was part of my retirement thinking.

It is not just about floors. It is about the stuff that get packed in a house, the maintenance and taxes, and the simple fact we take nothing ( and I do mean nothing !! ) with us when we exit the world. ,

How I WISH my parents had years of carefree/easier low maintenance living before they were forced into it............ and ended up enjoying it for less than two years.My dad, who went mostly kicking and screaming would later lament he wished he'd let go of the "ponderosa " sooner. I wish that too, as I dealt with the aftermath of too long a stay.

Spin the wheel and miss. Everyone ( almost) does exactly that. Give any decision time, and the answer for you will come. Just not TOO much time : )

Yes and exactly. Tish really answered her own question last Thursday and has invested too many years in this house already. Time to get going while you're still healthy and enthusiastic enough for it, Tish, or your next move will be, eventually, from this house to a single-floor unit in a senior living development.

I was in your situation, Tish, and waited for my husband to join in the idea (for over 15 years!). He never did, I "broke" first, but the years of delay ultimately cost us very badly, and if I could do it over I'd absolutely have put my foot down 14 years before. Heck, 15. :)

Falls are the # 1 cause of trauma death in elderly.

While stairs are great exercise, there are many safer alternatives.

This is a very important discussion that so many of the "baby boomers" are facing right now. There is no easy answer, but I'm sure the many wonderful comments have given you some ideas.

Your house is beautiful, but the size, the stairs and the maintenance are going to get more and more difficult each year.

I do recommend staying within your area rather than moving far away and perhaps you might consider downsizing to a single story house nearby that is equally charming.

I have a home in Raleigh -Durham and many people are retiring and moving to the Carolina's these days from the north (rather than moving to Florida) I have even seen quite a few who have given up on Florida and moved north to the Carolina's.......Raleigh-Durham and Winston -Salem have an amazing variety of interesting people and it is a wonderful place to be retired........Also, the climate is a mild 4 season climate which makes life more interesting and is easy to live in without harsh winters or long hot summers.

My suggestion is for you to look in your neighborhood or a nearby neighborhood for a single story house on a smaller lot that you can remodel to bring up to your standards. It is easier to purchase and remodel an existing house than to build new. Building new takes a very long time and more money sometimes than buying and remodeling..........Also, you will want to be closer to established facilities which means that you will want to buy in an area close to everything rather than in a rural area....usually empty lots are found further out away from the facilities........

Good luck...........

I'm also looking to move to a single level house, a rarity where I live since land ( actually postage sized lots) are VERY expensive so it's all 2 or 3 story homes. Are there no single story homes already built for resale? You could always remodel to your taste. Two story homes are not safe as we age . I could give you several horror stories of friends' & neighbors' experiences ... I'm very physically fit , however, I know that as I age down the line a single story home is a sensible, realistic choice. My neighbor, who always insisted that the stairs in their 3 story home were good for him, recently fell backwards down a full flight of stairs, is still hospitalized 3 months later, will most likely never return home, his prognosis is poor.... sad.

My mother had severe debilitating rheumatoid arthritis for 25 years and managed to live at home--until she was in a severe car accident at 82--with chair lifts, a platform lift and other added accomodations in an otherwise inaccessible house, for a number of years. Neither one of my parents was interested at all in moving or building, and my mother was very stubborn and determined. (She had broken a leg a few years before the chair lifts and was too weak to use crutches on stairs in particular and sat on each step and pulled herself upstairs one at a time).

My father lived in a multilevel house with my sister after this until 93, with chair lifts. He is now in a facility.

If you really want to stay it may be easier and less expensive to remodel and/or make accomodations to your existing house.

______

I do not have recent pictures of this house but the exterior did not change.

This house was built in the early 1800s and has typical Philadelphia Winder stairs, which are vertical at the inner tread. The home owners bought the house next door when the husband became wheelchair bound and the house was fitted with a discreet roll in shower on the first floor and a ramped garden for entry. He never went upstairs. He lived his life out in this house despite his disability. The footprint of each house is about 12x15

My great grandparents lived without an indoor toilet. ;-)

We should be thankful that we are living in this day and age and that we have the opportunity to choose how we live..........I am very grateful for the choices that I have.

I am sure that most of us have stories about how difficult it was for our parents and grandparents.

My only wish is that everyone would have the ability to live comfortably as they grow older and not just those with means......

Huh???

The 1800s house I posted was modified in the 1990s and won an award for adaptation and accessibility. The homeowners did not want to move to a high rise apartment which is the only one-story option where I live. I should have clarified that.

I would EITHER move or create true single level living. My normal recommendation is that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Doesn't apply here.

Either way, a massive purge would make living much easier.

As an FYI, elderly rarely fall on stairs that go between stories. The elderly who are too frail and unstable to handle stairs are the most likely to fall, and they fall in the bathroom, over thresholds (due to a shuffling gait), on porch stairs, etc.