tRump's Accomplishments after ONLY 200 Days!!!!!
Following is my partial list of Emperor tRumpus' accomplishments, so far (top 10 if you will). I know, it's ONLY been 200 days and we have 3.5 if not 7.5 years more to make amerika even greater! Can you believe it?! (I'm so excited, I jus' wet myself.) I know you are just thrilled with all the successes we have brought to the country formally known as 'America'. Please help ADD to this list so that posterity will fully appreciate the historic (and hysteric) contributions the 'Great One' has brought to our kulture and the world. (For the record, I am genuflecting now out of extreme respect and shameless servitude to Him. And NO, wise guys, 'genuflecting' is not a euphemism for the 'Bannon manheuver' )
1.) Put the 'banana' into our 'banana republic'
2.) Got rid of useless, polysyllabic, English words and helped emancipate our language from sexism; drop "dairymen" replace with "milk people".
3.) Introduced us to a colorful cast of characters who might not otherwise have gotten their 15 minutes of fame (Scaramucci who never made the the cut for 'Married to the Mob 2' (as in second generation; not the sequel). Bannon, who was the ghostwriter for 'The Joy of Autoerotic Sex: An Abuser's "Manual" '
Sean Spicer (aka., Spicy) and the rest of the crack White House administration (that'd be crack as in, "What ya' be smokin'?"), who made America watch SNL again.
4.) Reminded us why we voted for Obama both times.
5.) Brings adult-onset dementia into our home on a regular basis so we too can know what to expect when the time comes.
6.) Exposed the peoples' house (The White House) as a "DUMP" and why it needs to be demoed by the cast of 'This Ol' House'.
7.) And exposed the sleepy, conservative, Republican state of New Hampshire as a veritable mecca for dope addicts.
8.) Abandoning our commitment to NATO allies (or anybody else who talks funny; including that 'head leader guy' (prime minister) of Austria, the land down under with the koalas and blonde babes.
9.) For telling Al Gore to take that thermometer he's been running around with since the The Inconvenient Truth days to measure global warming/climate change and to go stick it where the sun don't shine!
10.) And more personally, as a New Jerseyan/Jerseyite? ('local Garden State resident person'), thanks for putting Bedminster (your chosen oasis from THE DUMP), and the rest of New Jersey (the Garden State; a.k.a., Sodom by the Sea) back on the map again post Superstorm Sandy.
For this and MUCH, MUCH MORE, WE SAY....
THANK YOU MR. PRESIDENT SIR!!