I've taken a cue from my kid and started wearing a rashguard type top because I don't like the spray-on sunscreen I'd have to use on my back. The best ones zip ALL the way open so it's not a struggle to get into or out of them. They perform a little better than a t-shirt in the pool and they're totally legit--nobody's gonna tell you to take it off when you're fighting skin cancer !! :)

You need to feel comfortable. No matter how hard I try, my swim tops always expose more than I wish. I just live with it. I'll keep looking and maybe someday I will find the perfect suit.

You can do any of the things you mentioned. Throw on a tee shirt, use your cover-up etc.

So sorry that you have to deal with BIL.

I will often wear those snug/lycra tanks in black. They kind of look like a suit or a matching cover up. They stay snug in water and do not float around like a t-shirt. I know what you mean. I have one of the BIL's too.

My swimsuit tops (tankini tops) are pretty much what you see in every ad. Either straight cut across the top with shoulder straps or a little bit v-cut with a halter-type neck. But I don't think they are low-cut but I don't have a very large chest either. I do cover up going back and forth to the pool, but don't really worry about it when I'm there. DH is usually with me.

BTW, I read an article about why Princess Diana, and also Kate carry a clutch purse. It was to use it as a shield when they wear lower-cut dresses when they were getting in and out of a car for example and the purse could be used as a modesty shield. Kate often clutches hers with both hands in front of her to keep from shaking hands.

All this fashion talk, I just ordered a tankini from Land's End. Hoping it fits fuller on top.

I do wear a more modest top. When my youngest was about ten we were at the beach with as another family. We are close friends. Their boy his age was near the other mother and I was with another set of kids. My son would not go over to his friend snd I asked why. He said he was embarrassed because of her cleavage. In her case there was a bit of a wardrobe malfunction occurring so I rushed over with a T.

Lol. I like Em low .. But must fit properly. I usually have a loose gauzy tunic or a sundress to wear over top.

I wear a rashguard. Partly because I don't want to get sunburned and partly because I make my kids wear them so they don't get sunburned. Can you tell I once worked for a dermatologist?

I have some low but I have very little to expose so I'm comfortable with low. I like some skin color in the summer and wear vnecks so I want the v part of me exposed to the sun (with sunscreen of course)

I had skin cancer and now am wrinkling on my chest. Rash guard over swim shorts, with takini top underneath. I am a water girl and the Lands End swim stuff is wonderful. I wait till it is on sale a Sears.

Mine are tankini tops, not low but not high. I don't care for my larger upper half. If on vacation I wear a light cover and hat. I don't normally make a point of being in the sun unless on vacation with my husband who loves the sun.

Last year for a rafting trip I got a tankini top that could be ordered in my bra (cup) size from Lands End and some board shorts. I was so relaxed and comfortable the whole trip. No tugging my suit down, the "girls" stayed put. I don't think I even put my cover up on at all.

Lock and load! I buy suits with internal underwire bras. Everything needs to stay up and in. Sometimes these suits have a v-neck, but never too low.

I also wear lands end spf shirts so I don't get burned.

Thank you for the commiserations re BIL. It's a fact that we are affected by who we're around when we choose our clothes, but it's still too bad.

I bought that tankini top I showed in the other thread and still will wear it but am definitely leaning toward getting a gauzy cover up. Something that will protect me from sun and eyes.

SIL uses rash guards all summer long as she is fair and burns easily. I don't tan easily and it never lasts. I wear a ton of sunblock too though. and a hat.

Princess Kate and Diana have/had the right idea. Those cameras are worse than eyes in many ways.

I have a question regarding the rash guard shirts...don't they get hot?

Maybe I'm an oddball but I get too hot in any polyester, moisture wicking style shirt. I've tried two brands of short sleeve gym shirts that were dry fit, or whatever they call the technology, and OMG they were hot to wear. Just wearing them, and not even exercising, created all the moisture that they are designed to wick. I felt like I was wrapped in plastic. I gave them away after one wearing.

While I like the idea of the sun and cleavage cover of a rash guard, I'm afraid the trapped heat will kill me. I think for it to be loose enough to be comfortable and not clingy and too hot, I'll look like I'm wearing my husband's shirt.

Should I try a rash guard or do you think it will be the long sleeved version of the hell that is dry-fit?

I swear by bra-sized swim tops too, especially ones designed for a larger bust (D-cup, etc.). Even with a V-front, if they fit properly things are covered as they should be. They do tend to be more expensive, so I've invested in a few solid colored tops and then pair them with more colorful (cheaper) bottoms, like the Athleta swimshorts I mentioned on another thread. I find if they fit me well and I'm not spilling out anywhere, I'm comfortable on the beach. I never sit in the sun, wear a hat that shades my face, slather myself in sunscreen and if I'm not actually in the water I'm sitting under an umbrella.

For years my go-to brand was Sunsets and I really like their products... they have good, solid support underwire tops that cross in the back (I never wear a halter) and full coverage bottoms. But just this spring before going to Cuba I stumbled across a Lole underwire tankini top on a clearance rack at a local sporting goods store. It had a defect, one strap was sewn wrong, so it was marked way down. My MIL was able to easily fix the strap and it became my new favorite swimtop. The material is so nice, soft and silky. I'm going to watch for other colors / patterns to go on sale later this fall.

This the Lole top, mine is in navy with orange.

SPF shirts are typically thinner. If you keep them wet, they keep you cooler. We go out to the desert in the summer and lounging by the pool under the umbrella is easy when you keep the shirt damp.

Fantasie and Panache also make great suits, up to G or H cups.

Thank you everyone for sharing your knowledge. I always learn a lot.

My problem is if any chest skin is exposed certain people get rude under certain conditions. :( It is beyond tiresome. So not so worried that I'll have a wardrobe malfunction as the tankini that I bought has a sized right bra in it, just concerned about words said in front of, or not, SIL. She has enough on her plate with her arthritis and his and their son's illnesses!

I get in the pool when I go. For one I usually try to get in a little exercise. But also my youngest isn't really swimming yet. So my rashguard is always wet, which means it isn't hot. I have one that has a partial zipper so you could always open it if you got too hot.

Hhireno I agree about the rash guard shirts. I get very hot in the synthetic fabrics too. I have found a looser Columbia type long sleeved SPF shirt is more comfortable. Many men wear them for fishing but the ladies ones are actually quite attractive and cut for a woman not just a cut down mans version. They look like a long sleeved blouse with buttons. Sleeves can roll up or down.

I live in south Florida so the local Walmart carries their own brand called Bimini Bay.

Yeo, maybe we are over thinking this. I never knew those shirts were called rashguards BTW!

You want to cover up as soon as you get out of the pool, before the snide remarks of your BIL. Why not just get a high neck beach cover up?

At some point, this rude BIL's comments need to be addressed. This behavior is not acceptable and I am surprised that everyone else isn't up in arms about it as well.

My sister had to deal with an uncle of her DH. He would say disgusting sexual things under the guise of humor! In this case, she found a way to strike back with humor, making him look foolish. This is a man who liked to embarrass people but thought that it was all in fun. Bleh!

mimou, would you mind posting a link to the tankini you bought? I love tankinis but find that they always ride up and show my belly. I've been wearing a one piece for this reason, but hate the hassle of getting in and out of it.

I am not good at the quick and witty comebacks needed to deal with people like your BIL, but I have found that a deadpan, "What a strange thing to say", comment while looking them straight in the eye and then walking away, is a good strategy.

Thank you. :) You're probably right eld. I overthink things sometimes. I always have to remind myself to just stop planning and do at some point.

I bought a colourful coverup yesterday and will look for a high necked sleeveless swim top to go under my tankini. Hopefully I won't have your problem daisychain, with riding up, as mine isn't tightly fitted.

We have confronted BIL at various times and the usual remorse and empty promises occur. Hopeless cause I'm afraid. It would be nice if no alcohol were in the summer mix, but that isn't fair to all those who can handle it. I will try the deadpan stare and walk away though, thanks for that suggestion!

He might not see it through his alcohol haze and probably will still think he's hilarious. He's pretty thickheaded. People used to laugh with him, which I found astonishing, but not so much anymore.

As a Guy, I'm embarrassed that you Ladies put up with fools like that! Makes us all look bad...gadz. I would never dream of making those kind of comments.

Not gonna lie....I DO subtly look. I'm human. Somewhat.... ;-)

If "caught", I'll just smile politely, with maybe a sly nod of the head.....respectfully, if that makes any sense?!?!?

Faron

Daisychain, I bought my suit last year and I don't see anything like it in their current line up. I was happy to get a small size with a big cup lol. It has a ribbon of a slightly rubbery material at the bottom edge of that white part in the 2nd photo, that I thought was weird at first but it functioned really well keeping it from riding up.

it's not the looking, it's the inappropriate comments. I think the others are laughing if they too have been drinking. Things get so skewed when alcohol is involved.

Thanks, mimou!