It's true. Site finished cabinets won't have the durability that cabinet company finishes have. Something to do with "catalytic conversion" finishes. Another possibility is to have your cabinet person make the boxes/frames and order doors from a company that uses the more durable finishes. Here's a link to a discussion on the same topic. Here is a link that might be useful: cabinet finishes

Most people who get cherry wood do better to leave it unstained with a clear coat only. it will darken significantly during the first 6 months to a beautiful, natural color. Alder is much softer than cherry, so you'll get more dents and dings in the wood over time. You'd really need to like the rustic look to go with alder wood, and some people do. Alder is sometimes called the cheaper choice to cherry since both woods look so similar. Alder will not naturally darken like cherry will, though. I'd go with the cherry and leave it unstained. Cherry itself is actually quite soft, so you'll need to be careful with it to avoid premature dings and dents. Alder is much softer. Woods like oak and hickory are the hard ones.

The steel beam needed to span that whole width is easily going to be 30K+ with the engineering work, and permits needed, and professional labor for new foundation points. That doesn't include the trenching the slab to get the new island supplied with electrical, the very very expensive island ventilation, or the redoing of all of the other electrical thats in that wall, and a complete flooring redo for the now one single space. Gray plastic flooring would be a truly horrible bad taste choice for anything there. The wood cabinets are the best thing about the kitchen, and should be kept, rather than spending 9K on having them professionally finished. You’re planning a very expensive bandaid with some really poor choices. Better to save your money, spend some on a designer, and work better with with what you have as is. Or else work with them to plan the 100K kitchen you really want, and the 150K makeover of the entire rest of the house to match the new kitchen. Because the kitchen with chippy self painted white cabinets and ugly gray flipper floors belongs in a completely different house than your house. Your bones are good enough that you do not need most of the expensive changes you’re thinking about. Theyre certainly better than any cheap flipper formula choices.

Cool conversation, if I may. I have never used plywood or mdf for kitchen faces. Wood is wood. The little wood blocks of wood shown is European vs American oak. The red tint on is red oak from the northern states, WI area. Golden, European, is from Georgia area S E states. Difference caused by the minerals in the soil. Actually I didn't really care about the cost of the raw lumber as it was my lowest expense. Quarter sawn white oak is more expensive. But available. Custom means Custom, what you want. All solid wood except the carcus, usually used birch but oak is fine. Dove tailed drawers sanded everywhere. You won't find a sliver in my work, bottom of back door gets same treatment as face, always no matter how much I off bid. I ate it, owned it. Fixed it. Right is right. Or it drove me crazy. You could put a thousand pounds in the uppers. And they came as big, one piece, as I could get in the door. Less corners better space usage. Faces could be removed if necessary for repair. One hundred pound full extension doors self closing. Durable polyurethane faces, laquer in carcus 3 coats minimum. Standard. Custom turned posts to customers design, incorporated desk into the kitchen helps keep things organized and allows a bit of office space if needed. Many folks have to be parents and breadwinner. Teacher. Any little thing that helps make your, you're life easier. I'm a pro and will build your dreams. Pull out cutting boards, washable hard maple. Wherever you want one any size. Biggest I've done was 6'×7'×2-1/2" thick with a drop sink. Had little cut outs on the sink side. Customer had 2 little girls so I made 2 kitchen stools that slid up into the space. Then they could help mom easier. I burned in the names of each child into the stools. Nice touch. Custom turned legs matched the office space spindles and oversized 4"×6' spindles on each side of the brick behind the stove. As borders. And the legs on the dining room table. Big table too. 8' with 3ea 2' wide leafs. Took 3 sets of slides. Just an example of where my comments are coming from. That was a great job. 3 staircases with treads foot wide 4' long 4" thick. Bunch of vanities with birch tops n bed sets. Dumbwaiter doors with birch front. Fun job. Folks got exactly what they wanted and dreamed about as a young couple building their dream home with an heirloom quality kitchen. Built by a craftsman