Since she was not receptive to your advise, then you had every right to step out of the situation from that point forward.

I completely understand why you wouldn't have wanted to offer helpful information to someone who has proven to be a know-it-all. I don't think I would have spoken up either. To add insult to injury, if she ever mentioned anything to me about the "discovery" of the septic tank, I'd have a hard time refraining from a little passive-aggression myself by saying, "Oh, yes. I knew about that. Were you not aware it was there?" ;-)

Oh, believe me, Ida, that is exactly what I plan to say!

As eld says, she is not receptive to hearing anything. I am not sure how she learns all that she knows, perhaps through osmosis? I think she is one of those people who may find out as she ages that she should learn from others experiences. Perhaps it will dawn on her that she actually doesn't know much and can learn if she is will to listen. She's in her early to mid-30's.

Warning the workers might have been a nice thing to do especially since it's a company you've used and would recommend.

Your neighbor sounds like my SIL who was just here for a long (very, very long 5 day) weekend.

Honestly you did the best you could under the circumstances. People who know it all are not receptive to anything you tell them, even when done in the kindliest manner.

As for those real estate disclosure forms - they certainly aren't as helpful as they were intended. We just filled ours out and were completely honest. We've lived here for 34 years and have been meticulous with upkeep so there wasn't anything to reveal. But the form merely asks "are you aware of any ........(fill in the blank)" You can answer yes, no or unaware. I wonder how many sellers just say they are 'unaware' of a potential issue.

And the only way the buyers can go back to the seller is if they can prove that they were aware and knowingly failed to reveal it. My new neighbor's basement flooded from a plumbing problem and she happened to hire the same plumber who had worked on it for the previous homeowner shortly before selling the house. She still had a difficult time proving it because the homeowner said he didn't remember any problem.

Maire

The workers might not have listened to the imposing neighbor or they might have mentioned it to the owner who would have known it all and said it's my house/she doesn't know anything. I think you were right to try, but there is no obligation to keep trying with an audience that is not receptive.

But I would resist any temptation to put a sign in your yard facing hers that says, "Tried to tell ya!" ;)

Well, someone's day isn't going very well. Oh dear. I'd be pouring myself another cup of coffee and watching the show.

I do have to keep peeking out the window to see what's happening. A lot of head scratching so far. I did not say anything in part because I could just see her shooting out of her front door and saying thanks, but we don't need any help.

Karma. Yes, that could be it. She got in a spat with another neighbor and now won't allow the neighbor's child to play with her kids. The kid is really hurt by being excluded.

Why don't you go out to the guys working and say, "She didn't tell you about the old septic tank? I'm positive she knew about it." Then leave. :)

Ya no. I don't think if you had gone to chat with them they would not have paid you much attention. Likely they would be annoyed a nosy neighbor is stopping their work. BUT if you had, you could now go and say 'TOLD YOU'..and they would now understand what you were babbling about.

Well, now I feel bad for this neighbor's children. It reminds me of something that happened many years ago.

I had a minor incident with a neighbor. It was over not thinking to include her daughter to join mine when mine had a pre arranged playdate.

I can't tell you the awful things that happened to my daughter. for years after. We lived through it but it makes things very difficult where they should not be.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink!

Oh well. You tried.

I'd not be proactive in helping her any longer. I'm not saying that to be mean, rather, she's one of those people who really seems to not want any advice.

So be it.

She didn't want your advice so it's probably best to stay out of it all together. I'd find something else to do though other than peeking through the window. Just let it be.

Saying, "I told you so" only escalates the situation. Think it and chortle about it privately, but stay out of it because this is exactly the kind of person who ends up suing a neighbor over something trivial.

Oakley, I would love to do that. I may have to take a casual stroll around the block. At this point, the workers have left and the backhoe is just sitting in the driveway. The hole has plywood over it.

I am butting out of all neighborhood squabbles. All these years, there have been very few problems between neighbors on our street. People solve problems harmoniously, but she is not that sort.

It's a shame one neighbor can spoil an entire neighborhood. You really don't know if the previous owners told the new owners about the old septic tank or not. Really no need to if a problem was not anticipated. But at any rate, your young neighbor is so unreceptive to any advice from anyone, I'm sure she tunes out anything she isn't interested in at the time. I would take the 'karma' approach and if the opportunity arises say exactly what you had planned.

Too bad for her kids too as they will be left out of a lot of things and the rest of the neighborhood will be blamed.

Just another perspective -- I have a neighbor who is always giving me unsolicited advice, particularly about gardening and lawncare. My last house was on acreage with extensive gardens, so I've been gardening and taking care of the lawn for many years. I now have a teeny tiny yard but almost every time I'm out there he is telling me how to do this or that. It drives me crazy. I can't really think of a nice way to tell him that if I wanted his opinion, I'd ask for it. Plus he is a grump so he comes across almost as if he's ordering me around. I like him, he's funny, but I can tell you that I have four rose bushes I'm going to be putting in the ground but I will wait to plant them when I know he will not be around. Or he will be over my shoulder handing me his bag of Rosetone. I'm not saying that you are like him, but maybe she has had neighbors like him in the past and that may be why she is unreceptive to your advice. Just a thought.

She's obviously behaved poorly, so it's hard not to feel like she's getting what she deserves; but karma has a way of coming back to bite those that respond to that sort of thing unkindly too. I'd stay out of it, go about my business and just let it be.

I agree with someone above: chortle all you want here to us, but not in your neighborhood and especially not to Not-So-Nice Neighbor. Karma runs in all directions.

I see where you're coming from and understand why you are reacting the way you are. It's hard for me to just discount her attitude though since my problems can lead me to not respond as others would.

I'm not very quick minded due to my disability and can get defensive when I perceive perhaps well meaning advice as a slur on my intelligence, especially if the words don't make sense to me. Maybe that's her problem or not. Also perhaps she's been burned by advice given to her before.

I have not said an unkind thing to her, in fact I have gone out of my way to be pleasant because I don't want to get into it with her. I just think it.

Since they live next door, you never know when we may have to cooperate about something and I want to keep things pleasant, or at least neutral.

Speaking of karma, evidently she is arguing with another neighbor as well. Didn't know about that. The other neighbor posted a big ha-ha on Facebook, saying karma got the know-it-all neighbor (collapsed drain) for something mean she did to this neighbor.

Even more reason to stay out of it and keep my chortles private.

Absolutely, just wave and say hello. Then go inside and laugh out loud. Karma will get her.

I absolutely would have mentioned it to the workers for safety issues alone. I'm sure they would have appreciated the information. Doesn't mean you have to socialize with your neighbor in the future.

Yes I would have told the workers as well. They were working hard and have nothing to do with anything but that. Anyway, I have had some bad neighbors in the past and upon reflection at least you know what you are dealing with usually so you can try to avoid. I have new-ish neighbors now and found out by an innocent conversation with the wife today that over half the stuff her husband told us was a lie. I'm just so disappointed. It was silly odd things to lie about. Weird.

If it was me...I would have told the homeowner. Even if they didn't appreciate my input. I would sleep better knowing I tried.

All is well with the repairs. The hole is filled in and I guess the water is flowing. No workers were hurt in the process and I bet they made extra money since the job was larger than expected. I feel no guilt.

I was wondering how this turned out. I wouldn't feel guilty either, it's kind of a you made your bed kind of deal. BTW, I apologize if my wording the other day came across wrong. Sometimes I can't articulate what I'm thinking very well but I wasn't trying to say you were actually being unkind to her, it was just my first thought after reading one of the responses in the thread.

We had one of those neighbors for a couple of years. You couldn't tell her anything, she knew it all. She alienated each neighbor in turn with her antics. She even had the nerve to call my landscaper (she used a different one every year, no one wanted to work with her again) to tell them to ask me to move my back yard gate to the other side of my house, because she felt the lawnmowers went over "her grass." I guess she didn't notice when her landscapers lawnmowers went over "my" grass. Couldn't be helped...I don't know how she figured it would be any different with my gate on the other side...the grass still needed to be mowed! Thank goodness she moved...

Whenever you offer unsolicited advice, you are labeled as a "busy body". I wouldn't have said anything, they will just have to learn on their own.