Carrie, I think it kind of depends on what you're spending the money on if you withdraw it. (Again, not a lawyer.) After my dad died and I got Power of Attorney for my mom, we put my name on her checking accounts so that I could pay her bills, as she's not able to handle money (Alzheimer's). I make sure to keep copies of all the bills I've paid, and I always make sure each check is noted in the register. I also keep all receipts for the money spent on her prescriptions. It's hard enough to care for one's parents as they age, but taking care of the finances is doubly difficult. My parents were so frugal, I know that if Mom realized we are paying over $2,200 a month for her apartment at the retirement community/assisted living facility, she'd come unglued. As it is, she doesn't ask those types of questions anymore. We have maybe enough money to pay out of pocket for a couple of years. I'm going to file for Veteran's Benefits for my mom to try and supplement this, as my dad was a WWII veteran. Best of luck to you!! You're not alone in this journey, for sure.

First thing to get straight is the separation of Medicare from Medicaid. Medicare is a federally administered program of health care for those who are eligible and are aged 65 or older, or younger people with disabilities and people with End Stage Renal Disease (permanent kidney failure requiring dialysis or transplant). Medicaid is healthcare for the needy; a federally and state funded program. Banks don't look twice at joint checking accounts. It's very common with so many people looking after elderly parents, etc., who no longer feel inclined or are unable to write out, sign, and mail checks for their bills and routine household expenses. To keep a little cash on hand when credit cards and bank cards are no longer used. What they (or someone like Medicaid within the 5 year look back inquiry period) would look at would be a cashing in of assets - stocks, bonds, Treasury notes, etc.- putting the proceeds in a joint account and systematically draining it, then applying for Medicaid benefits. If your Mother has assets (in addition to a pension or Social Security which the nursing home will take) those should rightly be used for her upkeep for as long as they last. If there's an inheritance received while in the nursing home, the home will take that for her upkeep. Even though, in your scenario, a will is involved and you are to inherit upon her death. That would indicate the inheritance was expected to be left to be passed down again. Not too much a chance of that happening unless death occurred before the inheritance and assets were exhausted. I realize you're information gathering for a situation that may or may not arise in the future. You do have to be aware though - and please don't take any offense as none is intended - that many of us on the forums as well as out in the world, don't look kindly on deliberate spend downs to preserve an inheritance. In other words, if you've got the means, you pay the freight. My mother did because that's what her estate was for. I expect to do the same myself.

We used to live in Germany but we had the luxury of using the banks on a US Army base. However, I seem to recall that using a credit card usually gave a good rate of exchange (not that there are any very good rates these days since the $ is low against the euro). So it seems to me that you could open an account at any bank stateside and he could withdraw funds with a debit card from the numerous ATMs and get a pretty good exchange rate. You could set up a way to quickly deposit funds into his account without being on his account it seems to me. The only drawback I can see to this plan is that there are limits to how much can be withdrawn on a given day; to pay rent he might have to withdraw over the period of a couple of days. He might want to call a German bank and get some advice straight from them. Most people use their German bank account to pay all their bills. They set up automatic withdrawals for rent and utilities. If the American bank could transfer the funds monthly to a German bank that might work out even better. We kept a German bank account for our rent and utilities, but we had to make a manual deposit each month. They all speak English, or have a colleague who does.

As someone who takes care of her 78 yr. old mother, let me assure you TODAY is the time to put together a thoughtful, cohesive estate plan! Trust me, nothing is harder than trying to get one in place following a major "failure" on the part of a surviving parent. And now that Social Security is about to go belly up, the "rules" surrounding estate planning and gifting change yearly. MOVE NOW! Your mother is legally entitled to gift up to 11k/yr. to any and everyone she so pleases! Once she gifts the money, it's no longer her's... it's a GIFT. But if you are willing to abide by promises you still have the money at your discretion to fund her long term care should it become necessary. A big "but"... ! I see no problem with your mother borrowing money to fund a MIL apartment. BUT, the reality is, whatever she funds will be your's at such time as she either dies or requires care in a facility. That's not such a bad idea... it locks her assets away... safe from the requirements of "long term care". DO NOT PERMIT HER NAME TO APPEAR ON THE DEED TO YOUR HOME! If it appears there the government will swoop in and attach that portion of your home when her assets run out and her long term care requires funding. Don't even go there. So much of this has to do with your mother's frame of mind. My late FIL was bound and determined to die "broke". And he did! when his stepchildren contested his will there were NO assets left... they'd all be "gifted away"! His kids understood and were willing to fund his life with his savings... we had a FIL apartment ready for him. He died of a heart attack before requiring it. Do you have siblings? are you "all on the same page" with respect to your mother? This is key. My husband and BIL were OK with the agreement, my brother and I are OK with Mum and how we're handling things. But, Man! do we ever wish we'd insisted our names were on the deed to Mum's home years ago when the opportunity presented itself... See a lawyer and get it done, NOW. You'll be glad you did... playing "catch up" is not much fun. Trust me, I know.