Amen to that!! Right there with you.

Same problem here, I understand.

I know a few skinny people who eat nothing but junk food. They may appear to be healthy, but they're on medications for high BP, cholesterol, and borderline diabetic.

I was in the eat anything/ gain nothing camp until I turned 30 and then....I had to learn to eat appropriately as I gained weight just looking at food. Now I'm quite careful about what I eat and when. I have learned that rather than avoiding any foods completely, I can eat all foods as long as my plates at both lunch and dinner are primarily covered with vegetables. Just don't omit protein, whether it be from meat, fish, seafood, beans etc. I'm rarely hungry provided I eat lots of different veges at least once per day. Prior to my cancer relapse, I frequently at a huge salad with lots of "stuff" on it and homemade vinaigrette dressing several times per week.

I think the older I get the harder it is. I could eat anything when I was younger...now at 65 it's always a struggle. I get on the scale at least once a week and never ever buy clothes larger than a size 14. When they get tight I ease up on the foods I know are contributing to the extra weight.

As we age and as our systems change we have to be very diligent about our diet. Most importantly, you have to learn what works for you.

How about setting your goal at five pounds? Ten is daunting.

I'm a Lifetime Weight Watcher member. This means that when I joined, I set a goal. Once this goal is reached, I must stay within two pounds up or two pounds down of this number, other wise I have to pay a fee. They seem to ignore if you go down more than the two, but once I did go beyond and had to pay.

I have to check in once a month to maintain my membership. I find going to the meeting held kept me on track and accountable. If needed, I stop in more than once a month.

I really don't follow WW per se as they have continued to evolve in how they present the point system. I have been a member for over 20 years. The idea is that nothing is off limits, you just have to track it and stay within your points. I go off and on with tracking my foods, but tracking does give you a way to be accountable to yourself. It's easy to grab a handful of nuts, or eat that extra cookie or two and just ignore it.

Water. This is the hardest. Drinking 8 glasses a day is impossible for me. Then there is a formula that as it turns out, I am supposed to drink 7. Still too much for me, because there is controversy on counting tea and coffee in this equation. If I can get in 3 glasses of pure water I count it as a good day. Again, if you can get the water in, great.

How you drink the water. I have dry eyes and my optometrist along with prescription Restasis, told me to sip the water slowly so that you body had a chance to absorb it. Many people (my DH) chugs it and says that it is "flushing my system!" that way. We can argue about this, but what my doctor suggested in my case makes sense. So, I'm going with that.

Fiber: Most people don't get enough food that contain fiber.

Exercise. For me, exercise does not help me lose weight. You would think that the exercise would cover you for that extra cookie or two, but for me it does not. I exercise to stay fit and energetic.

Carolee, you need to take a close look at what you are eating and write it down. For me I need a 1200 daily max to lose weight.

Mix things up. You don't have to have traditional breakfast foods all the time. Have 1/2 cup cottage cheese or yogurt and half of a banana. A friend of mine has avocado on a multigrain slice of bread, and I might try this.

Have a bigger meal during the day and lighter at dinner. Also, try to eat dinner as early as possible. You need to give your body time to digest the food which is hard when you are laying down.

If you can't join WW, there are so many weight lose communities online. I do recommend WW because it is the camaraderie that keeps me accountable.

I like hearing what other women (an the occasional man) have to say about what works for them.

The one most common challenge we all face is keeping our weight down. It is a misconception to think that because someone is at a good weight they don't work at it. There are some people I cannot talk to about weight because they insist that, "you don't have a problem, so you don't understand!" yes, there are some who can eat what they want, but very few. Anyway, we have to start from where we are, and go from there.

Good luck! You can see I am passionate about this subject. Obesity run in my family.

Eld that's good advice. I aways hear I don't have a problem but I do. This comes from an over weight person most times. Ten pounds is hard enough to lose and I don't want to let it go higher.

Like many others, I could eat anything and as much of it as I wanted when I was younger. About the time I turned 40, I had to start watching it and it's become harder as I've grown older.

I limit carbs including most fruits, focus on mainly eating proteins and veggies, eat only two meals a day plus a small, healthy snack and try not to eat after dinner which is usually about 6-6:30. One thing that has helped me avoid after dinner snacking is to floss and brush after dinner. Once, I've done that routine, I don't want to eat something and then have to floss again later.

I get in some form of exercise nearly every day whether it's a long walk or a dance routine I can do in my living room. Last year, I finally lost the last stubborn five pounds that were preventing me from fitting into a certain pair of capris and it was such a happy day when I put them on and they actually fit!

To hold myself accountable, I try those capris on every Monday. If they start feeling snug, I cut back on what I'm eating which has really helped with those winter pounds that sometimes creep on.

I also make it a rule to stick to my program at home, but if we go out to eat or to a friend's house or some other event where food is involved, I have whatever I want and don't worry about it. The next day I'm back on track again.

I find I have to weigh in every day. Most programs including WW don't recommend it, but it is what works for me.

I do give myself a day off if I go out to eat. Then as Dawn wrote in her above post, I get right back on track.

It was suggested that I weigh myself once per week as there are fluctuations. Dawn I like your capris method. If I had done that I might only have 5lbs to lose.

Weight maintenance is more about lifestyle changes and sticking to good habits of eating and activity and less about "dieting". Some people eat really atrocious diets - too much fast food, too much fried food (which should really be avoided as much as possible), too much salt, too much food in general - and they don't realize how much their health and well-being are adversely affected by poor eating habits and/or by being overweight.

Weight Watchers has been so helpful to so many people. My wife is also a life member and I'm a lifetime piggy-backer. So many of their low calorie recipes are delicious and help people learn healthful home cooking habits as well.

coralee, when I started I couldn't get those capris over my hips but I was determined. It was mighty encouraging and motivating when the day came that I was able to get into them but at that point, still couldn't button or zip them up. A few weeks later, I could button them, but they were much too tight. That provided more motivation and kept me going. It wasn't long after that (another couple of weeks) that I could button and zip them with ease and I wore them several times over the summer.

If you think that's a motivator that might work for you, find something you already own or go out and buy something you love that you'd like to be able to wear by the time this summer arrives. Then try them on the same day of every week. If you're goal oriented, that might really help you to stick to your plan especially as you see progress.

This weight thing is hard, but the only way to shed the pounds is to get started. Although, like anything else, I believe one of the keys to success is to have reached a point of really being ready to do the work. It's the same as giving up smoking or alcohol or any other bad habit that needs to be addressed.

Good luck to you!

Elmer how very true. As I said many in my family are overweight. So many of their activities revolve around food, food and more food. On my own I do eat sensibility avoiding things like greasy fried foods, sodas and cakes. It is the numerous family functions that are my undoing.

Dawn I wish my family thought like you Thank you. Yes I am motivated.

" It's the same as giving up smoking or alcohol or any other bad habit that needs to be addressed."

I don't think drinking alcohol is a bad habit that people need to give up. Enjoying a beer or two, some wine (especially with food), a drink of spirits, are all pleasant and healthful in moderation and when not followed by someone inebriated driving a car. Drinking alcohol habitually, unsafely or to excess is something different.

coralee, why not request a salad or bring along your own meal if your family gatherings feature only items you'd rather avoid? Let them sneer, you'll attend their funerals rather than the other way around!

They are insulted and hurt when I refuse. But you are right. Maybe I will tell them that I am allergic to the food I want to avoid.

I've got some illnesses that had Doctors saying I'd never lose weight once I gained it due to the illnesses themselves. Thank goodness I mostly proved them wrong. I say mostly because I've never dropped the last 15 to 20 lbs. I exercise, walk and work very hard and that's the only thing that has kept the weight down in the last 6 six years. I hope some day the rest of the weight will dislodge itself from my belly.

I had the bulge all my life (I'm 51), even when thin. It's only when I gave up white food this last year....pasta, bread, sugar, and started eating more veggies, that the bulge has mostly disappeared. I also go to boot camp classes 4 days/week, but even there the trainers tell us losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I'm following the principles of Dr. Gregor's How Not to Die book. It's a whole food, plant based diet. So mostly things like vegetables, fruits and beans. Grains are included but I find they zap my energy and make me bloated so they are only an occasional addition to my diet. Eating mostly veggies has really helped eliminate the bulge.

Elmer, I wasn't talking about occasional social drinking. I was referring to those people who need to give it up because it has become a problem for them either health wise and/or in their professional and personal lives. Many know they should quit, but unless they are motivated to do so or want to quit, they rarely succeed. I think that most people realize that enjoying a cocktail or a glass of wine or a cold beer with dinner or while out with friends isn't a habit that needs to be given up.

And, yes. I know people have to eat to survive but they don't have to drink to survive. The point was that it's hard to change habits if a person doesn't have the desire to do so, whether it's eating too much, drinking too much, taking drugs, gambling, etc.

Coralee, yes there will alway be a fluctuation. But if I see I am up, it reminds me to be diligent. If I weigh in once a week, I could be up 5 pounds. So, weekly would not work for me.

I would never lie to anyone about food. Are they really watching everything that goes on your plate? A fellow WW had to go to monthly conference which always included buffets. Her plate was stacked as high as the others, but she had mostly veggies and salad. It looked like she was indulging just like everyone else.

How often do you go to eat at or with your family? Obviously if you eat out, you can make certain choices. Also, always remember that things can be modified. "Can I make the Chicken Caesar my entree and have the dressing on the side?" Can I have my fish broiled?" It's a restaurant, so they can usually accommodate most reasonable requests.

The hardest is dinner or a party at the friend or relative. As Elmer mentioned, you can bring a dish that is healthy and eat most of it. (I wouldn't bring my own whole dinner though, it might insult the host.)

If you know you are going to a BBQ this Saturday, than you need to account for it during the week. Especially if you think there will not be anything at all healthy offered there.

Portion, portions, portions. How much you eat is just as important as what you eat. Although in WW they say "We didn't get here eating broccoli," it still means that all foods need to be accounted for. So, you take small portions, try to stick with the protein and veggies, light on the breads, pasta and starchy veggies.

It really is mindfulness. Whatever meal it is, it's not your last. You can have a slice of cake, just maybe not at this particular meal if you didn't account for it.

Planning ahead and visualizing is key. Whenever I go out to dinner, I always look up the menu. I am prepared to order my choice unless a special is presented equal in calories. Visual skipping the bread on the table, or having just one piece. Share a dessert instead of ordering one of your own.

I'm lucky that DH orders high calorie foods and I can have a taste. So no need to order it for myself.

Unless you are with like minded people, they really do not want to hear about your weight loss struggle, especially if they themselves are over weight yet not on a weight loss journey themselves.

Which is why being part of a group of like minded people is so helpful.

Weddings, showers, and other celebrations often in someone's house are frequent. I do choose the food I prefer but it basically is forced on me. Refusal to try so and so's dish creates hurt feelings and drama. It doesn't help that in their eyes I need fattening up. I think they live to eat.

Take it, but don't eat it all. Are they following you around watching to make sure you finish it all? 'Yum, this is delicious, excuse me while I find Kate to ask her about this recipe." Assuming of course that you do like the dish.

It really is all about being firm but creative. Again, these folks are not like minded so best to keep your weight loss journey to yourself.

Yes, some people love to eat and don't feel the need to lose weight. To each his/her own. It's a shame they get involved in your life when you are not getting into theirs.

Oh my.....this is a huge problem for me. I lost 80 pound on WW when I was 40...no problem...it just melted off, BUT I did not have all of my diet restrictions and physical limitations I have now. Fast forward 35 years... I do not get much exercise at all. I used to love to walk, but a surgeon put one of my hips in wrong and I walk with a terrible limp and severe back problems....also a body full of arthritis and always in so much pain.

I have a thyroid that can not seemed to be controlled...so gluten, egg, and dairy free. Barrett's Esophagas, so eating citrus, fruits, veggies, tomato/tomato products, onion, garlic, caffeine of any kind...including decaf and chocolate...so what does this leave?....gluten free foods, which contain more sugar than regular so the flavor is "eatable"....and potatoes!

All weight has returned....I get discouraged and eating seems to be my only pleasure... the last time I went to WW, the counselor gave up on what I could eat to follow the program.

I weigh myself every other day. Because of three birthdays in a row ,I gained a pound and a half and am having a hard time getting rid of it. Exercise is great but it's what one puts in one's mouth that is the problem. I run two miles on the treadmill at between 6 - 6.5 mph. Guess how many calories I burn? 180. That's not even a cookie.

Exactly. Exercise should be for firming, stamina, energy, over all feeling fit. It should not be put in with weight loss.

Not saying that it can't help, it's just that for me the food is what does it.

Phoggie I am sorry you are having so many difficties. Is there nothing that can be done to ease some of the pain?

Recently added My Fitness Pal to my phone at the behest of my physician (why do I pay her to tell me I'm fat? ;) I thought, "I'll go through the motions for now. I'm not really all that interested in changing my habits". First couple of days, just tracked what I eat, see how bad it was. I'd think, boy I don't want to enter that. Made myself be honest. Third day, I thought, well maybe I could eat less and still be ok. Then, I found ways to trade off-if I don't eat this, then I can have that and stay under calories, kind of thing. Even within limits, under on sodium, fat, bad stuff, and within caloric limits, I find my sugar intake too high. I'm beginning to WANT to stay within the calorie limits and sugar. If I keep faking it until I make it, this thing might work. Good luck to us all!

By the way, it's a great app. Tracks exercise, calories, water intake, nutrition, and has cool features like scanning a bar code on a wrapper to find a serving size and nutrition info. Even worked on Italian chocolate (how could it know?) and my work cafeteria food?! It knows everything

Rob that is amazing. Good luck to you.

Thanks for your reply, coralee, but I am so limited on what I am allowed to take for pain because of the Barrett's...it is pre-cancerous so I try to just tough it out. I am strongly considering having surgery to pull my stomach up over my Esophagus so that flap will stay shut and prevent the acid from coming back up. I so miss tomatoes!....they make everything better!

Phoggie I am not familiar with your condition but it sounds unpleasant Best wishes for whatever you decide about the surgery. I agree about tomatoes and use them all the time.

coralee., if your family & friends don't support you its usually because they don't want to face their own issues.... the more u do/eat what u want, they more they will get used to it. they might never approve/like it , roll their eyes, but that's their issues. you can't change anyone!! you have to take care of yourself b/c no one else will.!!

i changed my diet life style and i will never go back to what i was doing before. lost 15lbs. i now weigh what i did in 1999!! my bloodwork is excellent. my doctor is thrilled with what i am eating, she said i am eating "pure". have a hypothyroidism, but lost weight and feel great!! more energy., happier overall, more positive., when u feel good, life is good!!

i am not on diet. its a diet lifestyle. i think when u say, oh i am dieting, u think u can go off it and resume what u were doing before. i think that's what gets people into trouble. to really change permanently, you have to do it all the time. to go back, you will just wind up where u were before. find a lifestyle that works for you, some thing u can live with and just make the change.

totally agree with what was said upthread: your diet is 80% and exercise is 20% of weight loss.

Sprtphntc yes my friends are very supportive. My family not But then I did choose my friends.

well good for you that u have supportive friends!!! that really helps!!! what i do sometimes, i eat a meal or a snack before i go to function where i know there won't be much for me to eat. so i am not starving and cave in to unhealthy food choices. i will always have a cup of coffee, no sugar and that helps with hunger. just skip the cake!!! i bring my truvia wherever i go!!

just say, oh i ate a late lunch/breakfast, whatever to get people to leave u alone. then go home and eat according to your style!

good luck with your family, i hope they come around and support you, if not, take comfort in your friends and lean on them for your support system!!

When I started this topic I never thought it would be so much about me. Does that make sense? I am so touched that so many of you took the time to share your experience, offer sound advice, and encourage me. Thank you to each one you. I am pumped.