Thanks again, We had a disgusting explosion of large grey moths about 2 weeks ago. I literally couldn't turn a light on outside without them bouncing off my head- they covered our courtyard. Our garden has been up and growing (and expanding) a little over 2 months now and I have yet to see a hornworm. We were out there pouring over the plants every day- especially after the moth invasion- and we were unable to find one little bugger... until we found the three cutworms. Here's the funny thing: we didn't have any damage to the tomato stems (our stems are quite massive now, I don't know if that was the reason), but we cut milk cartons and gingerly stapled them around the base of our Early girls (the plants we had all the holes in) and the holes, for now, have stopped multiplying. I assume that, what ever it is lives in the soil. Today, however, I was frightened to see tiny holes riddling our Marigolds. I think my worst fears may have come to fruition- I believe we, once again, have Tobacco bud worms. Some gardeners on GW talk about TBWs like there normal little garden pests, I don't know if maybe the climate here is more conducive to the (#%&*) grey moth that spawns them or what... but I have never met a more disastrous foe in a garden. I just dosed the Marigolds, geranium buds, and borage in Safer brand BT. I hope to God this year it works. I hope to God that they are not responsible for the holes in out tomatoes... because, in my experience, they are hard to find and harder to kill. Thanks so much, again, for all of the information. I'm going to look into D. Earth... maybe it will help out with TBW should we have them again. It's the only thing I haven't tried. Darcy

If they're not hurting anything and they're not on your food crops, why not just let it be? I throw borage seeds around the outside of my compost pile every spring and it always grows like gangbusters and attracts all sorts of native bees and insects. I also have little black ants in the yard, and aside from keeping them out of the house, I tend to just ignore them. They don't generally harm healthy plants. If you notice they're farming aphids, that's the time to selectively apply Neem and look at tanglefoot, but other than that...

I’m sorry to say, I can’t see any future for this relationship Yeah, I have to agree. Your expectations are unreasonable. I've heard that women marry thinking they can change a man into what they want him to be ... and men marry women thinking they'll never change ... and both groups are wrong. The issue with which you're dealing will never change; he will always be that boy's father. I actually do applaud you, however, for looking a little deeper into your feelings and realizing that what you really want is a partner for yourself with no children Very much so. Right now you have choices. Once you're married -- okay, you still have choices, but they come with much bigger consequences. You’re jealous of a four year old who only sees this “great dad” once every month or two, and you’re asking if this marriage will work? Seriously? Yeah, "great dads" are more involved than that. I'd also question how the ex-wife received full custody -- unless something bad has happened, couples tend to share custody. However, you're wise to recognize and question these feelings. I'm 23 and he's 32 Don't discount the fact that you're still very young, and 9 years age difference is a part of this equation. You still have your 20s ahead of you -- all those exciting firsts in terms of career and home, whereas he's in his "settling down to a routine" years. Having been through both these phases of life, both were wonderful, but I am very glad my husband and I were in the same phase at the same time. We recently got engaged and moved in together ... I'm scared that I'm making the wrong choice here and walking into a lifetime commitment that is stressful. Red flags: You know that living together before marriage increases the chances of divorce later? And people who've already divorced are more likely to divorce again? Added to those unhappy facts, you're concerned about whether you're going in the right direction. These are big red flags. The introspection to which you're subjecting yourself is a good first step -- is this what you really want? I'd say come clean with him -- tell him how you're feeling, tell him you're questioning your choices. I'd move out. Not break up, but move out. It'll be easier to examine your feelings with a little space between you. Once you're SURE, then make a decision -- either go ahead and get married, or say goodbye. I feel like crying and a little hurt every time he talks to his son on the phone. This is a very strong reaction to a small thing. How are you going to react when you're merging your finances and you see a portion of his paycheck going to this child? When you're going back to work when your child is eight weeks old, and you're thinking you could stay home if not for that payment? How about when that child has a first day of school? When he has to decide whether to attend his son's baseball game or your new child's dance recital? When the son's mom's rules don't match your house rules and discipline is hard? When your child gets a car for his 16th birthday and the older son says, "No fair -- why didn't I get one?" When you plan a vacation and the older child doesn't want to go with you and won't say why? These are the things I hear my stepmother-friends talk about, and they're a whole lot more complicated than a phone call. It's also tough to be the child in that situation. Ask yourself truthfully if you empathize with the child -- as his stepmother, you'll have to be able to do that. He said that he never really loved his ex wife and that he was unhappy in their relationship. And you believed that? Do you really think he was so foolish as to marry someone he didn't love (or at least didn't think he loved)? He's telling you what you want to hear -- or you're hearing what you want to hear. You need the truth, whether it's comfortable or not. got herself pregnant Biologically impossible. You're looking to make the other woman the scapegoat, but it takes two to get pregnant. Either -- again -- he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear, or you're hearing what you want to hear.

Roots have rotted. Had to clean everything up and replace soil with 50% pro-mix and perlite. It's a rooted cutting I think. I like felt pots so that is what it's gonna be inside for a while. Kept it tightly inside the pot. The root ball fills less than half of the pot.