So sad, Carrie Fisher & Debbie Reynolds
gsciencechick
7 years ago
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So sad with pre-grief
Comments (18)In November, 2003, my DH lost his fight with LC. It began with surgery Sept. 11 for a malignant brain tumor that turned out to be a met. LC, even though there was no sign of LC. He had the surgery and 25 radiation treatments then 2 weeks off before chemo started. He had lost weight but was in great spirits and the onc. said he had a great feeling that everything was going to go just fine with treatment and he needn't worry about future birthday, Christmas, etc. After the first chemo he was unable to take the 2nd due to low white cells. Over the next 10 days he went so downhill that I took him back to the hospital so he would get some platelets and boosts toward getting over the blow from chemo and built up for the next round. He went in on Saturday and spent four days going downhill and died on Thursday. Due to the optimism of everyone, us included, we never had a conversation about him dying. He told everyone that he wanted to be back to mowing and yard work by spring and we led everyday as normal as possible. I fussed at him to eat, we did nothing differently as in preparation for death. In fact, when he went back to the hospital it was not in my, or his, wildest thought that he wouldn't come home. It seems that the radiation had kept tumor growth away while he was in treatment and, once stopped, the tumors multiplied in both his lungs and new brain activity. I can honestly say that, if he had to die, I would not have had it happen any differently in most respects. We were always saying "love you", kisses goodbye, etc., and "bickering" in a humorous way, as we had our entire married life. I think if I had suspected he was not going to live I would have not been able to carry on day to day as I normally did. He would not have been the same either and we would have been morbid and miserable. As it was, he died with me fussing at him to eat so he would get stronger. I told my minister that if I had known he was going to die I would have been nicer....... What I meant was I would have stopped trying to force him to do things that I thought would help him . Sure, there are some things that were not said that I regret, not all of them sentimental...lol....but knowing now what the outcome was, I wouldn't change anything. He died knowing I loved him and I knew he loved me. Neither of us needed to elaborate and the same went for our children. It has been almost 18 months and it still is often not real to me. I am so sorry for everyone here and can only say that the fresh wound pain does go away. Some days I get bored, lonely, all of the things that come with losing your partner of almost 40 years but having my children and grandchildren in my life, albeit some are far away, makes it bearable. Would I ever want to marry again........no way! I count my blessings for the life I have and had with him but wouldn't want to open myself up again to becoming so close to someone and having to face the possiblity of loss again. Look for happy days and happy times, regardless of the outlook for the future and recovery. I think it will make the days ahead easier....See MoreElba by Fisher & Paykel?
Comments (9)Before you buy anything from Sears, shop other stores. We checked out Sears a couple of times (and Great Indoors which is owned and operated by Sears) while shopping for W/D during the past few months. We purchased in March 09. We looked hard at F&P, Samsung, Miele, and Maytag. Sears charged more for all these brands. Plus, they wanted twice as much for the same level of extended warranty than what Lowes charged. In the end we purchased the Samsungs at Lowes. We paid less than what Sears was asking; plus we paid 50% less for the extended warranty. Plus we got an $85 gift card (the value of the delivery cost); they advertise it free delivery, but it's not really free delivery. You pay for the delivery and they give you a Lowes' gift card for the value of the delivery cost. Still, I shop at Lowes so I don't mind getting it back in the form of a gift card....See MoreSad day - must say goodbye to my best girl today :(
Comments (23)Thank you again so much. I cried long and hard this morning after everyone else left for school and work. The house is dreadfully quiet. Last night I woke up at 4:30 a.m. because I'm so used to having to get Casey up to go to the bathroom at around that time. It will be a while before I can sleep through the night again, I'm sure. Annz, what you said has helped me immeasurably to know I did the right thing. I was really thrown for a loop when the vet began discussing treating her and I've been plagued with guilt that I didn't think harder about giving it a try. I must have known in my heart that she was too far gone and that it was inevitable that the end was near either way. But hearing your words comforted me so much. My sister (the only other person I know personally who is as much a bonafide animal-crazy person as I am) told me essentially the same thing. She owns a pet-sitting business and they have had anywhere from 4-7 pets of their own (they, too, have had to put a couple of their pets to sleep during the past couple of years). She told me that renal failure is extremely serious and that Casey was so fortunate to have lasted as long as she did. It helps assure me that I did what was best for my girl. You're all right, though -- it really does just hurt like crazy. It almost takes my breath away at times. I'm grateful that I've been able to spill my heart out here, as I really have no one else who quite understands my grief, other than my sweet sister. In an odd way, I feel like the experience is giving me something, though. I hope this doesn't sound strange, but I've been grappling with feelings of guilt for all the things I didn't do for Casey (should have cleaned her ears and teeth more often, should have gotten her groomed more often, should have taken better care of her, should have walked her more, etc.) I suppose it's all a part of the grief, but it's pointed out to me not to take others for granted. There are a lot of things in my family life and even with friends, etc. that I realize I've been taking for granted, being "too busy" is really the excuse. I'm oddly comforted by the notion that I have the opportunity to stop taking these relationships for granted and really show them how much I care. I don't want to have "regrets" where anyone else is concerned. I don't mean any of this to sound strange. I know Casey had a good life and she absolutely knew she was loved. I just feel like maybe her legacy is to remind me how much I love not only her, but so many others in my life. I'll get through this one day at a time....See MoreFisher Paykel or LG 30"refrigerator?
Comments (7)We have FP E522BRX. It is almost two years old. We replaced a somewhat larger fridge by cubic footage but I swear this one has more usable space. The shelves are completely adjustable and their brackets take no room. I love how it looks. It has never given us any issues. And it just works like a champ. And it is quiet. It has a lower energy rating than some but recently an appliance person (not anyone we bought it from) explained to me that it will last longer because of the compressor and how they use it. Apparently the high energy rating ones often cycle their compressors in such a way that they wear out faster. Now having said all that, our FP oven gave us fits at first. It was a customer service nightmare. It turned out to be wired a little wrong (two wires were swapped). Once that was fixed, it's been great. I think in this day and age, customer service is generally difficult. Things are built more reliably but companies have cut their customer service to the bone so if you have a problem, it can be hard to fix. It took several service calls and endless phone time to get it fixed. Finally I got someone smart enough to figure out what was wrong. We bought it from a local business, expecting that we would get better service from them. Not so. The service guy who fixed it said we would have been better off buying it from somewhere like Lowes because they would have swapped it themselves rather than making us deal with FP. He said bigger volume companies have more clout with the appliance companies. Sad, sad, sad. Here is a link that might be useful: FP E522BRX...See Moregsciencechick
7 years agoIdaClaire
7 years agoOllieJane
7 years ago
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