I have had bouts of depression, but I am not someone who gets depressed and can't really figure out why. When I was depressed, I knew exactly why....and believe me....it was enough that would have depressed anyone. I have always been able to shake it off, but it took a few years sometimes and a great deal of effort on my part. I have never taken medicine for depression though. For various reasons. One is, that whatever was depressing me, needed to be dealt with and taking meds for it, would not have made the problem go away. Another reason....I don't like to go to the doctor....and I don't like to take medicine.

I'm dealing with it now. It's so alien to me. I am now taking an anti depressant. Although I can't tell there's a diference.

You're not alone. I refer to my occasional bouts of depression or as I sometimes call it "the blues" more situational depression and not clinical depression. I hate taking medicine too and only take what is absolutely necessary. I don't feel it's absolutely necessary in my case...not yet anyway. I hope I can continue to deal with it on my own. Perhaps, counseling someday if it gets worse. I would feel so guilty complaining to a stranger about my personal life though..so that may not work for me. HA!

I do realize some people who have clinical depression do need the meds and I sure don't have a problem with that.

The holidays are also depressing for a lot of people.

I hope you feel better soon!

If you suffer from depression, it is worthwhile to seek professional assistance to find out whether it is situational, seasonal, clinical, etc. There are different methods of coping with each kind of depression to lessen its impact on your life; a method that works for one may be ineffective for another.

My depression has been a part of my life since a car crash (concussion plus 99 days in hospital) in 1972. Lots of meds have been tried and nothing works consistently over the long haul.

If you are depressed on a regular basis, seek professional help (you might have to several providers to get the right fit). For that once a year bit of depression (often associated with birthdays or other special occasions), the situation is not as dire. However, speak with someone about what happens. There are hot-lines out there with trained people who can lead you in the correct direction.

No, you out are not alone, Penny. Is it the holidays that get you down? Gloomy weather?

DH takes the smallest theraputic dose of a common anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. He also takes a 'booster' to that medication; his dose of that is half of what's considered theraputic, but when he's stopped it, he has RSL (leg spasms) at night.

You may need to try several MD's/psychiatrists before you find 'a fit'. I'd look for one who does 'talk therapy'. Many psychiatrists today are just prescribing and monitorin -- certainly not all they were trained to do.

A chemical imbalance in the brain should be treated, just as you'd treat diabetes with insulin. (Finding the right chemical for an individual's brain imbalance is more trial and error than setting the best dose for insulin.)

For heaven's sake...DO something about this! Life's too short to drag yourself through it when there's help at hand.

Psychiatrists/MD's usually focus on medical aspects, prescribe meds and do medical management.

Psychologists/PhD/MS/LCSW generally do "talk therapy" using a variety of methods.

A combination of both is often most effective.

Ever since I broke my hip in 2009 and was diagnosed with Parkinsons shortly afterward, I have had bouts. I would just be sitting there and a wave of despair would hit me out of the blue. Nothing would trigger it and it would pass shortly. I brought it up with my doctor last Jan. during my annual physical. She did a complete blood workup to rule out anything physical. Turned out I had Vitamin D deficiency. It was extremely low.

Since I have been taking it I am feeling a lot better. I don't have those bouts of despair at all anymore. I had another blood 6 months after the first and my levels were almost up to normal. They use Vitamin D to treat SAD and other causes of depression. I wish I had gone in sooner instead of just putting up with it for those years. I didn't want to acknowledge it, because of the stigma that is attached to depression. Please see your doctor and discuss it.

Thank you for the kind (and well meaning) words.

I have been diagnosed and have seen a Psychiatrist and am on the best meds I have found for me. It's mostly tolerable, I guess. I will never be the person I was, I know that. It's been about 7 years now.

Even though my new "normal" is a different place, (like in the toilet somewhere), I still have ups and downs...it just means that the downs are WAAAYYYY down and the ups are infrequent and less "up" than they used to be.

I wish we were all happy and healthy...hugs to all of you.

No I am not depressed I probably should be. Lots goes on in my life. I hope all that are depressed will find the peace and help you need.

Sue

After years of bouts of depression, I was diagnosed with PTSD. Understanding that helped me. I'm adjusting to the new me, and it's hard sometimes. I've had a great therapist for three years now, and that has helped. I also take meds.

I suffered from depression for many years, back about 20 years ago. I was on celexa for many years. After I went through menopause, I don't seem to be depressed anymore. I thought celexa was a wonder drug. Best wishes to you.

What a shame to train as a psychiatrist, then only 'manage meds'. Most Any MD can do that.

Mindfulness meditation and depression

@ chisue, remember they diagnose and treat many more psych diseases than depression.

However, your point is very relevant; most primary care docs feel comfortable diagnosing and treating depression w/ meds because the newer anti-depressants are so much safer, less interactions and side effects.

It doesn't matter whether or not a lot of "bad" things happen to you or there is "lots going on" in your life that "should" make you depressed. One can certainly have clinical depression with no so called "problems" in their life at all. Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain - same as diabetes is an imbalance of insulin.

Again, please, please don't feel bad if you feel depressed but think you have no reason to be because you don't have it as "bad" as others as far as life circumstances.

If you need to take meds to feel better, please do. I have taken them for 27 years and if I back off just a little my depression symptoms return. Enough evidence for me that my meds are working. I will stay on them forever just as I would stay on insulin. Nothing wrong with that.

Please take care.

Regular exercise is very useful in combatting depression. So is attackng a chore one has put off - that old albatross. I know that some people have a chemical imbalance and need meds, but for many behavior modification can work very well and no drug side effects.

Thank you all for the candor and vulnerability (I would say this is a good word as this is something that makes me feel vulnerable). Perhaps if more people speak up the stigma will slowly be lessened.

I admit to having a bad night when I posted and really wanted to reach out....Not all days go that low for me :)

Meds and reaching out to others get me through although I do miss my old self.

I try to have faith that that person will return.

Have you been abused, or did someone dominate your life to such an extent that you had a feeling of almost no self-worth, of being almost valueless?

Sometimes depression can result from such a(n imposed) lifestyle, especially if extended over a substantial period.

Whatever the reason, and whether it's mainly a matter of chemical imbalance, or psyche-based, I hope that you can find (a) way(s) to improve the situation.

I send good thoughts and hopes for a better future ... and offer some prayers on your behalf.

(((((pennydesign))))

The minister's last name is "Penny" in a church where I am involved.

ole joyful

I had severe post-partum depression once and used to get seasonal depression before I went though menopause at 38 years old. I remember how the world was just black. Now I get sad and but not so much depressed. I am sure you are not alone. I remember how hard it was. Like instead of walking through air I was walking through jello. Everything was just so much harder.

Its off and on for me. It's been worse since I lost my husband.

Jenny Lawson , the Bloggess, writes about her struggles with depression. She writes with a combination of humor and seriousness regarding her life and what she has been through. Her blog is worth reading.

S Rodriguez, I would like to thank you for the link for Jenny Lawson.

Honestly didn't get past the first page where she has links to Amazon wish lists for those who are struggling (I will though....)

I plan on reading through and giving a little. I may be suffering but giving (it won't be much!) is like a balm for the soul.

I hope others take a peek if they are able.

Happy Holidays!

Blue OnBlue....I also went thru menopause at 38 I actually may have started sooner but by age 38 I had no hormones and was told I'm post....post is a good term..or should I say postal...

I have a couple of auto-immune diseases that are linked to depression so I'm usually at least mildly depressed. I find when I start to feel like I'm plummeting more, it can be that my Vitamin D levels are dropping and remember that I've been forgetting to take it. Once I get back on Vitamin D3, I usually start to feel better. Which reminds me, I should take my Vitamin D right now... And I also take no medications because I'm a medication-phobe.

I have to agree that Vitamin D is supposed to help with depression. I take it because my levels were low and I think it does help. Google Mayo Clinic and Vitamin D study for depression.

Yes, for years, probably since my preteens. It was really bad when I was going through my divorce. Got really bad last Winter when I realized I would be all alone with my 2 dogs. I decided to get a couple of exchange students to keep me busy and not think about being alone. Exercise does help, work for me and just keeping busy.

Me

I'm kind of depressed today. I was in a car accident, and my car got damaged. It runs all right, but has started making a noise. I think the noise started a while ago, and now it's sometimes very loud.

I have a $1000 deductible, and can't get it fixed. I am 70, living on SS, and can't afford car payments.

Talked it over with my therapist the other day. Maybe it's time for me to stop driving. I've hit three cars in the last year -- they were standing still and had no damage. I've also run up on a curb and destroyed a tire and the wheel. I was too close to a truck, and my passenger side mirror broke off.

I'm very independent, and not driving will be a big change for me. I have been doing a lot of research, and luckily where I live there are a lot of alternatives for seniors. Von's delivers groceries, and a lot of restaurants deliver meals. I'll ask my daughter to take me to the grocery every two weeks, so I can pick up the stuff Von's doesn't have.

And so here comes another change...

@ cacocobird, DF needed to stop driving because of a medical reason. She figured out how much she spent on car payments, car insurance, gas, and repairs, and used that amount to set a budget limit for cabs. She discovered she is saving $, and it is not nearly as bad as she expected.

I am situationally depressed--took care of loved ones and lost them. My program> Force down a can of sardines, or salmon, with some fresh pickles, mayonnaise on a sandwich, get outside and walk and be grateful for the day. Write and draw out the blues. And write to and about the ones who have passed. Well, that's what I do. And sleep a lot. If I did not have a dog and have a newspaper to retrieve I would sleep more than 10 hours a night/day. I know I am depressed but avoid doctors and meds. I agree Vitamin D is important. Lack of sunshine and exercise is not good. Winter is difficult. And to the last poster, driving is stressful, avoid it and accept the help.

Thank you both for your support. It means a lot to me.

You are not alone for sure. I have been depressed off and on my whole life. It's genetic on the paternal side. My father , his siblings, and their mother all were depressed. I don't have SAD because I like winter hate summer. I do get out an hour every day year round walking the dog and take vitamin D. It's the unknown which stresses me and causes anxiety that goes hand in hand with depression. I have a big old farmhouse, two koi ponds, two beehives and six pets, so I have plenty to stress out about since I'm not exactly a spring chicken.

I'm usually able to keep it at bay. It's been kicking my butt since I left my job a few weeks ago though. Having a very hard time with this.

I thnk a lot in tv has been very discouraging, and then personal as well...we're off tomorrow for a funeral on sunday...dh's aunt...then bad news from long time friend...

my one place I find comfort? my shower (with a chair) and pulsing showerhead...omg! my mother did her bible lessons...(the Christian science church has a set study) and that always was a comfort to her...but even a good book will take you away even for a few hours...

Last month I had a conversation with my own doctor about some depression I've been trying to work through lately some of which I know is just grief from my Mom's passing and the holidays. She offered to prescribe but I asked that she just note that I may need it later so I could just call in, but I want to try to work through it first.

Without going into detail with me, she said that depression actually causes some chemical changes in our brain. Taking something basically just puts us back into an "even" place mentally while working through things. It's started to affect my daily routine and how I interact with people so I called and got something prescribed a week or so ago.

We were just talking about this yesterday. One of the side effects of hubby's hormone treatment to treat his cancer is mood swings. He's essentially going through male menopause. He was bitchy and moody and depressed the other day and anything I said caused an argument.

I'm both happy that people are sharing, here, and sad that they have the experiences.

I very much agree that hormones play big part of all of this....

@Jasdip, my dad went through the same thing....it's hell at first and then evens out somewhat, but he's different now. He's mellow and cries easily....but you have my very best wishes for your hubbys recovery. Remember to take time for yourself so that you can be strong for both of you.

Personally having a bit of a lousy time. There are still ups and downs on an emotional level that I have to mentally isolate from the depression. I have learned that sadness is not depression. They are two separate things to me, one being emotional and one being mental.

I am spiraling. I need professional help, but can't obtain it, or the meds, without a
job and insurance. If I ever find a job, I won't need it. And I'm not
going to be able to interview in this position. I can't leave my
bathroom, stress related stomach issues, and I'm shaking like I have
Parkinson's or something. I can't pull myself out of it.

Husband is worried to death, and helpless. He checks on me every couple
of hours, tries to get me to eat, wants to know what he can do to help
... I either start bawling, or snap his head off. Then I feel guilty
and start crying again. I'm trying to gain some insight on a depression
support board. Not sure it's helping, because I feel guilty that there
are so many suffering so much more than I am. "Guilt" seems to be an
essential part of my genetic makeup lately.

I'm just trying to get through each day as best I can. I get up and
start submitting online applications, resumes and tailor made cover
letters. After a couple of hours, the helplessness descends again. I'm
trying not to give up though.

Angelaid, your post is heartbreaking and I'm so sorry you're going through this. Is there a free clinic you can go to in your area? Also, there are lots of services available via hot lines that can help too. They may be able to offer you free counseling via the phone and/or internet, they also can help you find the resources you need in your area.

The one linked below seems to reflect that it may be a good fit, especially since they work on a national level. Kristen Brooks Hope Center

Another option would be something like this, MD Live which offers low cost medical and therapy services, online. My DD has used this service for an illness she had and said it was excellent. She actually had a web based visit with a Doctor.

If neither of those work out, let me know, I'll be happy to help search for a resource to help you, lukkiirish@gmail.com

Angelaid, I feel so badly for you. It's so stressful being between jobs. I also hope that you can find some affordable help even if it's an online group or online therapist.

A lot of people in groups may have terrible stories but that doesn't minimize how your situation is affecting you. I found that getting help and going to a group therapy was a trigger to release and vent about everything that was 'terrible' in my mind. I had some horrible stories too, but releasing that tension and sharing my stories sure helped me see them in a different light. I learned to cope.

Talk yourself off the ledge and get some help please. Hugs to you.

In answer to op question - yes, for years. For me its a situational type thing, brought on by events that trigger past trauma from childhood neglect &abuse. Also there is an element of physical/nutritional health involved....vitamin d deficiency is known to be a common cause or contributing factor to depression ... I know if I forget to take it within a few days I can feel myself slip-sliding back down into the hole again. There is new thinking that depression and other mental illnesses are inflammatory diseases and nutritional approaches that help inflammation can help depression ( maintain nutritious diet/supplements - no sugar or processed grains or harmful types of fats etc.)

Oh yeah the therapy too... not like you ever forgive and forget, but its possible to learn new patterns/ways of being in the world and not just be on auto-pilot reacting to things out of that old childhood trauma and pain.

So much more I could write but I ll leave it at that - theres no one magic fix, ev is so interrelated. Example: improving diet gets me in a place where I can feel like I can do excercise.... which also is known to help depression .... which then helps me get more motivated to cook better food and take better care of myself .

Anyway.... take care and best to you all out there... whoever you may be reading this!

Angelaid, are you over on the PC forum? There are resources there for you. And some lovely people to hold your hand. Come and see us. I will look out for you.

Trust me....You are not alone. The depression spectrum is indeed varied and we are equal, but different...

I can only offer suggestions as to what I have discovered for myself...Perhaps some of it will be of service.

Anxiety seems to walk hand in hand with depression. It comes with palpitations, sweats, adrenaline rushes, fear, hyperventilation...I have found that diphenhydramine helps me some (Benadryl).

Please remember that depression lies....Don't trust what it tells you. Ever.

I don't know what the PC forum is.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/

There are sections on depression, anxiety, work related issues, insurance....Lots of resources are listed too. Take a peek.

We're all similar peas in the same wacky pod over there.

I do hope you check it out (no affiliation whatsoever...just a public service announcement)

Thank you pennydesign. I'm looking around in the Depression forum now. I appreciate it greatly.

Hugs, angel.

I hope to see you over there. Just please be aware that the folks there (including me) are there because we have depression and not because we are therapists :)...I give you a heads up on that because a lot of newcomers post and expect light, love and happiness to guide them. We can't always supply that as we're struggling too. :(

You will find kindness, and an understanding bunch, however.

Depression is debilitating, and PTSD is even worse. However, with help, they can be managed. I've been seeing a very good therapist for a few years now. I also go to Recovery meetings (self help group) that teach me a better way to deal with the minor stuff in life.