they're all new this spring so i have no idea what i'm going to do this winter. the tubs are buried so maybe just fill them with straw? i didn't bury any of the tubers, just held them in place with a rock. i suppose i'll just dig it up tomorrow and look

Hmmm, a fungal issue sounds possible. And more likely than the theory that someone might have thrown it in the freezer for a bit (there'd be easier ways to ask for a divorce :-p ) I got two other violets from the same source and was not impressed with the soil quality. The first one nearly died until I repotted in a pot half the size of the original, the second was doing poorly when I bought it half off, then turned out to be the strongest of the three so far. The only reason I keep buying there (if you call 3 purchases a habit) is because they have anthoflores as opposed to optimara varieties. Which means (IMO) more interesting foliage and different flowers. But yeah, as spring approaches (ever so slowly), I am debating the sense of spending $4 on a NOID with questionable chances of survival, vs saving up for the avsc show or an online order...

silversword, I cannot begin to tell you what a blessing this thread has been to me this morning! I honestly didn't know there was a name for the horrific way my mother has treated me since I was 11 years old (right after her mother, who lived with us, died). As I have read and read and read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder today, have studied its traits and how people are affected by it, this has opened a whole new window of understanding for me. I am both deeply saddened and yet awed by all I'm learning. I can totally identify with your struggles in this situation, as my own life has been so profoundly affected by my mother's NPD. I will attempt to give some answers here, FWIW: *How do I handle this? How do you all handle your parents and the shifting relationships between being a child with your parent, then being a parent yourself? #1 for me has been - set some boundaries in the relationship, allow myself some breathing room, give myself the space I need in order to gain perspective, to be able to look at it as it really is. *What can be done to keep me from feeling guilty and responsible for her well being? Am I a bad daughter because I don't want my mother to live with me and tell me what to do? I'd really like your opinions/suggestions. In answer to your first question, I believe one of the most wonderful things that can happen to anyone is to be able to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt. True guilt comes from things we have done wrong and have not admitted. Confession of wrongdoing and a request for forgiveness is all we can do about that. False guilt is a crippling thing until it is seen and recognized for what it is, for it causes us to believe we are responsible for things we haven't said and done, that we are responsible for someone else's weaknesses, failures, and wrongdoing. If there is any true guilt in our lives, then, yes, we need to admit it, ask forgiveness, make any needed restitution, and go on. If there is false guilt in our lives, if we have taken on other people's responsiblity, then we need to give ourselves permission to lay that down and walk away from it. I haven't read all the responses in this thread; I've only read a few. So I apologize if I've repeated things other people have said. There are not words to tell you what an enormous relief it was for me the day I recognized the guilt was false and was able to lay it down and walk away from it, no longer believing myself to be responsible for another's happiness (or lack thereof). That doesn't mean I don't love, doesn't mean I don't care, doesn't mean I don't take advantage of legitimate opportunities to express love and caring - it does mean I don't alllow myself to be used in an unhealthy way as a scapegoat for another's discontentment. Didn't mean to write a book here. Thanks again for posting this info about NFD. It is such a relief to know it has a name! And though I would not wish what I've endured on anyone I've ever known, period, it has truly helped me to read of other people's experiences at the links which were posted. I've received tremendous affirmation today. I don't know if NPD is addressed by name in the Boundaries books, but they are well worth reading.

Love the French Gray and do not like the Oceanside blue with it. I would do the entire room in the French Gray and the only accent wall I would consider is just the front wall in the entry. it would not be Oceanside. Wait until you start painting the gray and you will see how much of a lavender undertone it has. I do not see the French Gray working with the colors you have now…the yellows and greens. You might want to reconsider the gray. Try “online” gray. It will work with Oceanside. And I would only paint that front door wall in the teal. Then you can bring it into the main room.