"why would parents repeatedly tell their children that they inherit something? why would this topic even come up? how would it start: hey i am going to leave you XYZ. lol repeatedly their whole life? why? I can see how maybe when they wrote the will they said something...but repeatedly tell them their whole life...what for? I get upset to think of my parents dying, as I watch them getting older, why would they be bringing it up my whole life?" In my case, I suspect it was a need on my Dad's part to periodically "set the record straight" because SM (for many years GF) brought up money issues incessantly. (Generally with the theme being "gimme, gimme".) I never once brought up these issues. My Dad got together with SM when I was 13 and inheritance (again, among many other money issues) was already being brought up then, long before I could even really comprehend the issue or had any reason to imagine my Dad would ever die (kids don't think about stuff like that). Another major talk occured when I was about 18 (surprise, surprise), then another one when I was about 20, then again when I was 24, then again when I was about 29, then several after he got sick when I was 30 up until he died when I was 32. His statements were always pretty much the same, with his wishes being to pretty much split everything he owned 60/40 (SM's favor). The only major change occured when *I* told *HIM* that I didn't think it would go well if he left the house for me and SM to split thusly, that it could cause any number of problems for both she and I. I told him he should just leave her the house outright. He then took it upon himself to arrange things so that his intended 40% to me was maintained by allocating other assets to me, but I had not asked him to do that. Overall, his wishes stayed the same for years, even though SM kept insisting she should have more. And even though she might have *expected* that she could make him change his mind. One very crucial little encounter, especially in hindsight, really drives home the point to me why he kept feeling this need to "set the record straight". (Sorry in advance to those who've read this story before... and sorry, too, that it's a little long.) It was about 1996, I was about 20, and my SM and I had gone last-minute holiday shopping together. I had only so much cash on me, which I'd used up on presents for my Dad (and her, btw) and others. We were kind of far from home and really hungry, and discussed going to the McDonald's that was on the way home. But this decision became a full-on philosophical crisis for SM, as she agonized out loud: "Hmmmm... well what should we do? I mean, you don't have any money left to get anything." And I said: "I can pay you back when we get to the house, I'm really REALLY hungry..." and after some serious moral rumination she finally agreed that was do-able. In hindsight, I think she was so consumed by her one-track mind obsession that as an ADULT, I, stepchild, should not EXPECT ---literally--- a dollar for ANYTHING that it next precipitated the following exchange, once we were inside the McDonald's eating our Happy Meals: SM: "You know, when Dad dies, everything's going to me. And then, when I die, if there's anything left, you'll get it at that point." ME: [bewildered as to where in the heck this subject was suddenly coming from] "Why are we talking about my Dad dying? Is he sick or something?" So over a decade later, when I finally had the nerve to tell my Dad about this little exchange (b/c he asked why I don't trust SM), and when he reacted with shock and said "I never told her that!", I believed him. Because in all those times he sat she & I down and told us what's what, that little plan of hers didn't enter the convo. I believe she was either 'testing' me out, trying to get some kind of rise out of me to start a family feud, or living a freakin' delusion in her brain. Which to me clearly illustrates why my Dad kept feeling the need to divest her of her persistently unfounded expectations. Which leads back to the orginal question. So to sum it up I think the reason my Dad regularly had these "sit-downs" with us all together about his will and what would happen is precisely because he wanted us both to hear the same thing out of his mouth at the same time in case either of us [she] tried to pull some deceptive little crap on the side. And he didn't want either of us having expectations that would be disappointed... especially her, apparently. My point with all this is that the situation that some SP's may view as "typical" ---that is adult kids "demanding" an inheritance--- is just simply not always so. Sometimes it's adult spouses who "demand". That's the main difference with my story, and perhaps it's unusual. I'm sure there are plenty of bratty, spolied adult stepkids who not only DEMAND an inheritance but who mean-spiritedly believe their parents' spouses should get nothing. I can honestly tell you that even though my SM has been a royal arse to me for many years, I would never think she deserved to get NOTHING, or less than what my Dad promised her in my presence.

rhome410 - thanks for the suggestion around flipping the fridge / pantry area. I had considered it early in the process, but we were hoping to avoid in order to prevent changes to the dining room (wallpaper and paneled.) However, as you will see below I created an updated floorplan and included your suggestion. I think it helps with the overall functionality of the space. We considered the full range over the rangetop / wall ovens. We really like to idea of an oven that is up off the floor for both easy access and distance from small children. Also, the fact that the oven + rangetop combo is actually significantly cheaper is a factor. On the other hand, the full range makes the floor plan easier to arrange, provides ventilation for the ovens and also has the benefit of providing an excellent "centerpiece" to the kitchen appearance. I'd say we're undecided at this point. Do you think I have the right pro/con list? kaismom - thanks for the thoughtful feedback you've given on the overall flow and interaction of the spaces we're designing. I completely agree that this is one of the most important aspects of the design process and is also one of the hardest to figure out since it can be difficult to visualize. Let me give you a few more facts that I haven't already provided. First, we live in the Boston area (not VA). The funny thing is that we used to live in VA - up until about five years ago - so I know what you are talking about! Given the combination of relatively few truely hot days and the fact that our backyard has mostly indirect light except for in the early morning, we aren't to concerned about to much light heating up the house. The back wall of the kitchen that faces the backyard does face southwest, so I'd expect great morning light and then indirect light as the day goes on. Second, your suggestion about casual family dining is an excellent point. We were thinking that the island would be the center of family life in the evenings (homework, dinner prep, dining, clean-up.) You will see below that I've created a revised floorplan and added a placeholder for a table to the plan. My thinking right now is that we wouldn't add the table - but it gives us the option. You make some excellent points about how as the kids grow older, all being seated facing each other might be a valuable habit - I'll keep them in mind. Third, you suggested I consider how we interact with the house / yard today. I'd say 90-95% of our entrance / egress from the house happens via the garage. This is in spite of the fact that we have three other entrances (including two in the backyard.) Now that you've suggested I give this careful considering - I don't expect this to change much - so this is probably the most important entrance to get right. The second priority would be the backyard, as the kids get older I envision more time (especially on the weekends) being spent playing in the backyard. In fact, this consideration is why we are having so much consternation about giving up the side view. While not having direct access to the mudroom from the backyard isn't ideal, I'm not sure we can have both the side view and this access. Adding a door from the backyard into the garage or coming through the kitchen wall adjacent to the garage won't work because there is a bulkhead access to the basement in that corner that cannot move. That's unfortunate since this would have been an excellent solution - thanks for the suggestion! palimpsest - you asked about the right front room. It is currently a room that gets little use. We'd like to eventually turn this into a library / study of sorts since the idea of a formal living room doesn't appeal. Adding the powder room of the central hall would reduce the room dimensions from 17x18 to 13x18 - I was thinking this was still adequate space for the use we envision. Perhaps a little more of a rectangle than would be ideal, but still a space we could make work. What do you think? bmorepanic - Excellent point about the double french doors. The more my wife and I think about it, the fact that they swing creates space problems and also makes it difficult to have screens on the doors. I don't see that much opportunity to have both of these doors wide open with no screens as it's either darn cold or there are to many bugs around. Given this, we're leaning more towards a sliding door. The fact that it isn't centered on the hallway isn't all that big of a deal to me, but I'll keep an eye on it when I can get some renderings and make sure it doesn't look strange. I'm still thinking about the idea of moving the fridge to the wall adjacent to the garage. Biggest concern about this is that it moves it farther away from the family room and backyard entrance. Maybe this reduces the convenience factor? However, it does create some benefits around allowing open counter space across the whole backyard wall and what feels like a more convenient work layout. I'll keep this in mind. If you get a chance, take a look at the layout I'll provide below and let me know what you think. sundownr - it's great to hear the dimensions of your space and that you find it functions well. Very encouraging that we will eventually find a solution that will work for my family. Also great to hear you eat at the island and enjoy it - this is what we envision today. Also, the photos are helpful - thank you for providing them. As you mention, I see you went with the full range which solves the wall oven problem. We like the idea of wall ovens for their convenience and also like the ideas of deep drawers under the cooktop for pots and pans, but both the convenient floorplan as well as the asthetics of the full range certainly appeal. We're still undecided there. New Revised Floorplan: I've incorporated some of the suggestions everyone has provided in this update. Still isn't perfect, but I'd be interested to see what people think. Thanks again for all the helpful suggestions!

I've lived in 22 homes/locations in my over 80 years, including 6 years in a university dorm. A number of them were provided by my employer. In some cases, I shared a home with others, and once shared a house with a couple of other men, and we ate in another house on the same compound where three or four women lived: we were all missionaries, helping with health and educational issues in war-torn Korea, with some of us helping refugees get back on their feet. I boarded with an old lady for a couple of years 25 or so years ago when re-locating back to Ontario, rented a room from a guy for a couple of years, then shared a two-bedroom townhouse with unfinished basement with another guy for a couple of years and continued living there alone for another dozen years or so. I was paying about $800./mo. for the townhouse, paid for my power and heater rent but water provided, no sewwer or garbage fee, prior to moving here to what was old step-unle's farm, nearly 7 years ago. The bungalow on the farm had two bedrooms and a wreck room, plus unfinished basement, but being older it had somewhat less utility than the one in town ... but the initial rent was $450.00 per month. Water for washing, etc. was from a well so the only fee was the power bill to run the pump, but the well is too close to what used to be the barnyard so I pick up water in the city, etc. in jugs for drinking and most cooking, though I may boil potatoes in well water. Landlord will pay to pump the septic tank if/when it may need it. I pay the power bill, and landlord shares it, as he installed it into his shop from the same meter a few years ago. Put newspapers, plastic out for recycling, free - could do so for aluminum cans, but I sell them to scrap dealer. Garbage costs $1.75 a bag, but much of it is added to the landlord's burn pile. While travelling past my old townhouse home the other day, I saw that they were offering them for rent, starting at $849./mo., so that rent has not gone up a huge amount since my departure. I'm paying $512.50 rental, with increase as of Mar. 1 anticipated. I have a shed in which to park my car, with extra room in it where a friend's van is parked, a garage where I have builing materials, supplies, a couple of trunks and a freezer, plus space in the barn which I use to service the large garden that I have, plowed and tilled by my landlord ... and he gets a share of the produce. The government offered us a tax-free savings account aimed at home owneership about 35 years ago, max. allowable $1,000. per year, $10,000. total and I thought that I'd need to find a home on retirement in about 20 years. I invested the max allowable $1,000./yr. beginning in '74, and continuing till '83, missed one year so had invested for 9 years, $9,000. total, into a fairly stable, mortgage-based mutual fund. Its current value, having been unmolested in the interim, has grown from $9,000. in '84 to over $73,000. now, 27 years later, i.e. about 9% annual compound rate - with no deduction for the high-rate income tax that I've paid annually on the increases. I've been thinking that, in the interim between seniors, especially singles, living in their traditional home and entering a residential or nursing home, it seems to me that, rather than buyig a (temporry) condo or renting an apartment lone, it makes a great deal of sense for several singles to share a home. There are several advantages: sharing a home means discussion and more mental activity than when one lives alone; I find that I'm inclined to talk to strangers when I'm out, and am sure that I would do less of it if I shared my home with someone. Many find that carrying out all of the chores related to operating a household becomes onerous - and sharing would mean shared chores. They eat better, for several atthetable wouldd preclude the"tea and toast:" that a number of seniors may refer to as a meal. If someone fell, there'd be help available - and they couold triage:we can rtake care of it; we call this person's caregiver; or we call 9-1-1 - right now! There'd be major saving of money, what with rent, utilities, insurance, etdc. Gotta run - 3 min. to library closing (but I figure that my loaner car'll get me safely home). ole joyful

Wantsidea, I'm not clear on exactly what specifics I should be nailing down at this point that haven't been accounted for already (for bigger ticket items I mean...I know how much of a range I can find for plumbing fixtures, lighting and tile). The house was built in 1950, and has gone through a full bathroom and full kitchen renovation, plus turning a breezeway into a dining room/mudroom. HVAC has been confirmed by our oil guys (who installed our furnace for the previous owner) to be sufficient for carrying the upstairs load. Electric panel was updated for the kitchen and confirmed sufficient for this project. Water heater replaced during bathroom reno and chosen to support 2 additional bathrooms in the future. All of our mechanicals are in the unfinished side of our basement and are easily seen by the subs. I've warned the contractor to prepare for water damage behind our vinyl siding, as we saw a bit during the previous reno. I don't mean to be defensive at all, but I do feel like we've done quite a bit of due diligence to prepare for this, and are also fully aware that things will come up, hence trying to back off our scope so that we can have the reserves to deal with such things. We have looked for other properties, both move-in ready, and for renovations, but they are few and far between (anything needing renovation needs a LOT, and anything nicer is gone in a day, for way over asking). At least with our home, we know the positives and negatives from living here and doing previous renovations. If we were to update another house, who's to say that it wouldn't have some major issue that we never could have known about? There is always going to be risk involved...just looking for the best way to mitigate it.