We usually discuss current events at the dinner table. We try to let them take the lead. Our goal is to try to always discuss both sides and show how perspectives can influence one's perception of facts. We also try to give things historical context. We avoid taking sides on anything during such discussions but encourage them to develop ,a POV and defend it.

Thanks, Mtnrd. These issues are no longer just dinner table discussions for us. I wish they were. These issues are raised in the car on the way to practice or at breakfast when one parent is around (and still drinking morning coffee).

I can be prepared for dinner discussions, like my parents were. But my kids beat me to the punch in current events. Social media doesn't allow the luxury of time. And especially when I'm grappling with how I feel myself about these events.

Our kids were 8, 10 and 12 when 9/11 happened, and they all knew about it when they got home from school. They didn't have cell phones or social media at that point. I still remember wanting to shield them from all of the images on tv, and thankful we only had one tv in the house at that time, which was downstairs in the family room. We always encouraged our kids to be critical thinkers, and ate dinner together as a family every night where we had many discussions. However, lots of discussion also happened spontaneously in the car.

Some things in life are unexplainable as a parent. All you can do is be a safe space for your kids and be open to discussion. Ask questions, challenge them to think and verbalize.

Our kids are adults now, and we still have these discussions. My heart breaks every day for my country, so much so that I have been moved to activism instead of continued hand-wringing.

Thank you for giving your experiences. It's just been a tough week. I shared the MLK quote that Maddielee (I think?) posted on another thread with them. And fortunately they're seeing a lot of support and empathy on social media. A lot of people questioning how we got to this point and how we need to arrive at some common ground just like we do here I guess.

One Thing that you may want to share is the breaking news consumers' handbook, which has a lot of critical literacy around breaking news http://www.wnyc.org/story/breaking-news-consumers-handbook-pdf/

Thanks for sharing that, Robo. It's an excellent checklist to share with kids (and adults).

I think for this and everything, you should help them grapple with how much social media is designed to grab your attention with high impact, high conflict kinds of ideas. Even worse than TV considering how small the screen is of a phone, etc. I seriously don't think this is having a very good impact on people's lives, and I think children should be encouraged to limit their time on social media and live more of real life. I've been involved in social justice almost all my adult life, for me it is more than the meme of the day, and I would hope it would be so for my kids and the kids I mentor. Also hopefully you are living your values so your kids can work through this with you as you are coming to terms with it too. I grew up with race riots happening around me, this is nothing new but no less sad. I had my consciousness raised in the 1960's and what was on TV was awful then too. I still managed to come out of it with passion and hope and that was probably due to my parents encouraging me to reach out to people of different faiths and cultures, and to just be a nice person, period. I was trained to be a "mensch" by my grandparents, which meant to be a nice kind person, despite what was going on around me. The world is full of mensches too, kids need to be made aware of that. All that negative drama is very toxic, I would work pretty hard to keep it out of my home. I know SO and I have to work at it, to not become angry and jaded.

My kids are college, high school and middle school age. The middle schooler has no phone or screen access, but still hears about things by word of mouth and at school, so we always need to be prepared to discuss.

DS is black so he has had to learn about the risks involved for him before other non-black kids his age might have to learn about these things and therefore recent events have not been 'news' to him. His safety concerns when he is not at home are not the same as his friends'. He has always had to be aware that he will not receive the same benefit of the doubt from police or other authorities that his friends likely will. And before he even got to high school, we had seen that negative bias applied to him, so unfortunately our warnings were realistic.

At the same time, we don't want him to be too afraid to do anything, so we try to emphasize that while the incidents portrayed in the media are all too common and completely unacceptable, they are statistically less of a risk than being in a car accident-- and just like putting on a seat belt and following the rules of the road doesn't guarantee our safety, it's the best we can do so we do it. Likewise, following the rules will not necessarily protect him but it's the best chance he's got.

A friend posted this on FB, and it looks to have some good resources to educate ourselves and our children.

http://scrapingraisins.blogspot.com.br/2016/07/70-race-resources-for-white-people.html?m=1

Wow, amazing resource. I grew up with very little interaction with people of different races, although I was a religious minority in my small town, which probably prepped me for understanding how prejudice works. I knew prejudice was wrong, but I had not idea how pervasive it was or how insidious it was until I had a African American and Native American room mates in college, and then ended up working with inner city minority kids with a strong culturally diverse team of work colleagues. I saw how we got treated when we went out into the majority community. It also made me realize how if you are not having those experiences, it is easy to think they don't exist. It also took a lot of earnest desire to learn, without pre-conceived ideas, and I'm still learning. It has been a fantastic and positive experience, so I wouldn't worry necessarily that grappling with tough social issues for kids has to be a "Debbie Downer" type of experience. You can meet the coolest people and have the greatest experience when you explore different cultures, if you adopt an attitude of respect for others and learning. My parents had a mixed marriage, so I think that predisposed me to being able to hold two seemingly contrary ideas in my mind at one time and realizing that there were oceans of space for commonality and compromise.