Do the parents know you bought the 50 acre lot nearby?

Yes, they do.

Are the lease payment must more than you would've paid in rent somewhere...acreages for rent are hard to find?

You would've lost your renovation money anyway since you were planning to tear down the house.

Selling the land and house to someone outside the family may have more negative consequences than "getting your money back". Is your husband worried about getting the money he put into the house back? If he is not worried about it, then you would be a smart wife to leave it alone. Not everything is about money.

Rent to own - what does the contract say? Maybe a lawyer should take a look at it. However, being right, in family matters is not always what's best.

I think it's a bad idea to buy it, then sell it. You were renting, you had to live somewhere. I have no way of knowing - but maybe it's not worth as much as you think.

Best not to do business with family members.

This is a deal/contract agreed between your husband and his family, let him resolve it.

Did your husband do agreement with parents in anticipation of marrying you or you weren't in the picture?

it seems strange to me that parents would make son "sign in blood" at such a young age. I don't know your age but we always discouraged our sons to commit so early and instead move around, see the world and THEN decide where we wanted to set roots single or married. But not everybody thinks that way,

Having said that, he probably got a favorable deal from his parents and HE needs to resolve to the best of all parties involved. For the future of your relationship with inlaws, I'd say as little as possible in the matter, if I were you. You may have to take a financial hickey on the deal but remember they took one when they dealt with son and probably get less than they could in the open market. So a poor me attitude might irritate more than help. Good luck.

We will probably have to leave it as it is since we dont want to hurt anyone's feelings. My husband got that deal with his parents several years before we even met. He was young and of course he was not even thinking whether that is a good investment, or about building equity. He just wanted to move out of his parents house and be independent. It's a little bit aggravating though that his parents would advise him to do this deal when they as adults should have know that it's not a good deal for him, especially after knowing that you cant live in this house very long and it has to be demolished eventually. Now we are in our 30s with $0 equity in the house. My husband realizes now that it was a bad deal but I dont think he is going to say anything to his parents. I just wish we had moved out earlier and bought a house for similar monthly mortgage payments, and now we would have had some equity. But he didnt want to leave the area where his folks and ancestors lived. I understand that, and was not pushing because I dont mind living in that area, it's a nice, quiet place and in the country (what we wanted) - just not that house, not that deal. I felt like in the end we would have to pay more than twice as much for the 7 acres lot (since the house was more expensive than the lot and it was going to be demolished once we built our own house). Just to put it in perspective - we bought last year 50 acres for exactly twice as much as what we were going to pay for only 7 acres & the old house. Oh well... My husband told me recently, that after we move out, it looks like his 16 years younger brother who just started college will likely move in and he is going to pay rent to his parents. In the house that we remodeled (gutted and remodeled the bathroom, and added a second one, put insulation in the attic, fixed leaks, holes, painted walls, and added some nicer touches that make the house look good and taken care of). Oh well... it is what it is. It is just that now we have a baby on the way, and apparently we have to live in this house for another 1-2 years until we have enough for down payment for the house. If we had that equity built up in the house (or any house), we could use it in addition to our savings and build next spring or as soon as possible, but no... we will continue paying rent (and wasting money on a house we are not going to own) until we have saved enough for down payment. I am sorry for my rant.. I just feel very saddened by this whole situation.

Yes. Best to just put it behind you and move on. If your husband feels cheated, he can take it up with them.

Good luck.

"I just wish we had moved out earlier and rented a house for similar monthly payments, and now we would have had some equity."

You would not have any equity renting a different house.

Sorry, I meant, "bought a house and made mortgage payments for about the same amount". Just corrected the post above

Keep in mind that the financials may not be as negative as you're thinking. How long has your DH lived in the current house? How long have you been married? At the beginning of any mortgage, the vast majority of the payment is going towards interest, and very little equity builds up. With a 30-year mortgage, after 10 years you've only got about 21% equity. After 20 years you're at ~52% equity, and then you get your last half of the equity in the final 10 years.

You can also look at what rent would have been on a comparable house. If your RTO payments were close to that, then you really haven't lost out as much as it feels like because you had the benefit of a roof over your heads for the duration of your stay there.

The 2 ideas above are suggestions for how you can reduce your resentment a bit so you'll be able to move on.

I'm just going to assume that you and your husband had a good deal at below market rent. The alternative (that a parent would profit off of a child) is too distasteful to consider.

If I were in your shoes, I'd consider the lease-to-own payments as simply rent paid. However, I would approach the parents to explain your predicament and state that you have several options:

1) Abandon the agreement but assess a value on the improvements made and ask his parents to reimburse all or part of the expense to you considering that they are going to receive back a better property than the one they originally leased to your husband. If they say no...

2) ....continue the agreement but sub-let the property to another tenant for more than you're paying so that the property starts generating income you can use for buying a different home.

3) ...or, get a traditional mortgage and pay off the lease-to-own property agreement. Then, give his parents the option to purchase the property back (at some amount less than market rate because they're family) or you'll put it up on the market so that any equity proceeds can be used to fund your new home build on the 50 acres.

By the way....if your husband's brother moves in, any rent he pays goes to the two of you, not to your husband's parents so long as the lease-to-own agreement is in place.

Just curious, 1970 is not an old house. What is so bad that it couldn't have made it to you liking?

I'm living in a 150-year-old house, wondering what would make a 40-year old one uninhabitable and not worth updating.

Yes, a well built 1970 house is not a bad property, except that this house is not well built. Not only that, the two bedrooms are very small - just big enough to fit a bed, and very small closets, and there is no additional storage space in the house. Forget it if you want to raise a family there and consider this your permanent home.

@jewelisfabolous, thanks for your suggestions! I never thought about continuing to lease the house after we move out and subleasing it to his brother. That's a good idea.

To respond to some previous questions... My husband has lived in this house 9 - 10 years and we have been married for 4 years. Some equity is better than no equity. Even if we had about 10% equity in a similar house/property, that would help us tremendously right now. Btw, he/we have already paid about 50% of this property. I wouldn't say that we got a good deal at below market rent - the deal also includes labor from my husband on his Dad's farm (they have a large farm and he works there a lot). Plus, we would be paying the full price for the property, not below market value. Just a bad investment decision, i guess.

I wouldnt be frustrated if we knew from the beginning that we are renting this house. But when you have expectations that you are leasing, building equity, making plans, it's frustrating when you realize that 10 years of lease payments are just rent that could have been used wiser.

I, too, as I read the thread, chuckled at the 1970's built house being considered "old" and needing to be torn down!

Thanks, @freeoscar! That's another good idea that we didnt think about.

Your in-laws are good business people. They kept their son close by and made a regular income at the same time. Many of these lease-to-own setups are based on the fact that the lessee will abandon the lease. With your plans, that is what is about to happen.

If your son had simply purchased the land and house outright and wanted to sell it later, your in-laws would have potentially had unwanted neighbors and lost control of land nearby them. With this arrangement, they have good neighbors and still own the land. They made a good deal.

Your in-laws also taught their son responsibility, business and the value of making payments. He didn't just live there for free. They could have rented this house out to someone else and made money on it. Instead, they gave their son the opportunity to buy it.

What they didn't plan on was the appearance of a daughter-in-law. Or, the demands of their son's growing family. The house is inadequate for the growing family's needs.

Have your husband examine the lease-to-purchase agreement. He should consult with an attorney three counties away. See if it prohibits his renting out the house. If it doesn't prohibit this, he can sub-lease it out to his brother and not lose his equity. Or, he can become a landlord himself and sub-lease it to someone else. Another option is pay off the lease-to-own early by refinancing with a third party. You can go to a lender and get a loan for the land and house. Then, you are free and clear of the in-laws and can do whatever you want with the house and seven acres. You can rent it, renovate, expand or build on it.

There is more than one way to skin a cat. But, you want to move very carefully. These are long-term relationships and money is involved. You are the intruder in this dynamic. You bring a different set of values. Your in-laws obviously aren't stupid. They own the property. They expect to be paid or they will get their other son to pay. If the other other son doesn't pay, they will rent it to strangers. It's just business. In any case, they will keep their money. It's not your money. You need to think about this long-term. Ultimately, walking away and keeping silent may prove to be the best course of action for long-term family harmony.