Garden Etiquette for Visitors
ken_adrian Adrian MI cold Z5
8 years ago
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flowerchild59
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Etiquette for Frugal Gardeners: How to Ask for Things
Comments (2)Sometimes Starbucks people do offer to carry heavy bags, & that's very nice of them! Many years ago, my aunts & all their friends & neighbors passed along plants, & none of them ever said thanks; it was an old superstition that you had to pretend that the plant had no value, therefore there was nothing for which you should thank the person, etc. & there was a correlary to it: if someone asked where you got it, you were supposed to tell them you stole it! The first part sounds like the traditions of complaining when you get what you want, so the gods won't be jealous & take it away from you; maybe 'tell them you stole it' part just grew out of it somehow. In this day & age in Texas, I hardly ever run into anyone who still goes by that old tradition; intereseting that there are still pockets of old-fashioned traditionalists, cuckoo southerners though we may all be!...See More2nd Day of Wedding Anniversary Hosta Tour!
Comments (19)SO GLAD you tackled that one, ken! LOL Actually, I didn't find him as 'cranky' at all--but he IS 'to the point' without a lot of 'dressing it up'! He's right about the 'Mars' and 'Venus' thing! We gals can 'think' and be very intelligent but we usually kick into the 'feelings' of a thing, ultimately and react and act from that base. Guys--from Mars, are to the point, logical (in their minds--MOST of the time) and really have a hard time figuring us 'feeling' gals out. For instance: Why can't we just lash out and get over it--right? I think ken is someone you need to meet and spend time with, (in person) in order to understand he's typing like he's thinking, quickly to the point, fast in and fast out--with little emotion, which includes irritation or anger!! I'm not saying he may not have a moment or two of crankiness, on this forum (at least it does come across that way SOMETIMES--who doesn't have those moments, anyway?) but I really think he genuninely does not see how what he types, CAN come across that way at times! You have to know, that we cannot know the mood of any of us when we try to communicate this way--the one typing or the one receiving the words, used to make a point! I'm glad I got to meet him and figure this part out and now I can visualize him saying what he's typing, and how he's REALLY saying it, and I can just see him making those quips as in person, not crankily but 'quick to the heart of the matter' (as previously said) with little rehashing or dressing it up! I had come to think that he reminds me of a man I use to work for, and I was right--his delivery and way of communicating is very similar, and after I sort of figured him out, (that his bark was much worse than his bite) we got along just fine!! If he DID seem cranky, I'd just ask him (in a teasing way), "Why are you so grumpy today?" He seemed to appreciate that I'd hit him head-on rather than turning and running out crying and feeling all hurt and sulking the rest of the day! :o) Did I describe you even close to your reality, as you see it, ken? Janice (Venus girlie-girl)...See MoreGarden Etiquette
Comments (46)I have enjoyed most of my garden guests, but did have one group last year that I found annoying. I gave precise driving instructions, including saying that there is a large wooden planter box mounted behind our mailbox, with an egg for sale sign hung below, and this is the only such place on at least a ten mile stretch of highway. When the group came, they were 30 to 40 minutes late (which I didn't really mind, I still had garden things to do), hurried their visit through in perhaps 15 minutes as they had thought of another place they would like to check out as well, and complained that they had a hard time finding the place. However, my largest peeve, is we have occasionally had people come in to buy eggs, driven past the house out to the barn, and walked in the barn looking for eggs. I mean, we sell free range eggs, that simply means the hens are not caged, and can scratch in the dirt and manure, eat grass/weeds and insects. It does NOT mean that you go freely into our barn and outbuildings, looking to help yourself! In particular, this past winter we had someone drive past the house, across the yard where the snow had not been cleared for days, went to the barn looking for eggs, then tried to turn his car around, got off the harder packed area, and got stuck in the lawn,, leaving ruts. That one was choice. Personally, I don't care if it is a barn, it is a breach of my privacy if you drive past the house and go walking in the barn without my permission. Most of our egg customers are great, and appreciate that we have it set up with packaged eggs on a shelf in the 'back room', with a container for the money, and can get their eggs anytime, whether or not we are home. And the garden guests that do appreciate your time and effort make it all worthwhile....See MoreGarden Etiquette for Visitors
Comments (0)This is a compilation of suggestions from several Garden Web Hosta Forum Regulars. I claim no responsibility to authorship, I was simply the vehicle to post these pearls of wisdom. If you read the forums regularly, I'm sure you will be able to guess the identity of several of the contributors. Happy Hosta-ing! ********************************************************* Garden Etiquette 1. I did NOT invite you over to use my bathrom ... SO DO NOT ASK .... because i cleaned the garden for your visit, not the house... take care of this before you get here ... though obviously emergencies occur ...and dont stop at micky dee's to take care of it and then buy the 200 ounce pop because it is hot out there .... and then 2 hours later have to use the bathroom .... i will provide you with enough liquids to survive .... perhaps a tablespoon at a time ... 2. DO NOT walk in my garden beds, unless you have permission. 3. IGNORE the idiot dog, when standing near my beds .... to watch you turn him into a frothing love hound and rip up my labels and plants is truly disheartening ... we have the the middle of the lawn for that ... 4. Either bring a gift .... LIKE A HOSTA .. or any perennial .... or send a thank you note ... i did a lot of work for your visit ... and i want some afterglow ... a note a few days later .. usually gets you another invite w/o question ... and probably a hosta next time ... nothing pricey ... it is the gesture ... not the value ... 5. Leash your children if they are a problem [though they are usually not the children of hosta nuts ... these children have been taught the proper priorities] ... or bring something that will entertain them ... and dont rely on my dog to be the entertainment ... he is an idiot ... see above .... 6. Leash your uninterested significant other ... or insure they bring something to entertain themselves ... or better yet .. leave the uninterested at home ... i hate cutting short a tour with someone who is truly interested because they are distracted by someone else ... and suggest to them that if they have nothing nice to say ... they need not say anything ... 7. Do NOT resort to platitudes in describing the beauties before you. Also, PLEASE do NOT tell me how so-and-so's plants are doing better than mine, for whatever reason. 8. be on time .... i have waited and worked like a dog anticipating your visit .. have some respect ... and calling is not sufficient, because i will be out there an hour ahead sprucing up the garden waiting for you .... and i wont be near the phone ..... i will NOT be upset if there was an emergency ... 9. DO NOT try to surreptitiously purloin a piece of ANYTHING (with that plastic spoon hidden in your pocket) without asking my permission. If you ask nicely, I MAY give it to you-but on my terms. 10. if you can grow one better than me .... be prepared to discuss all variables in your success so that i may figure out what you are doing right that i am not 11. Amendment to #1 with relationship to #5 and #6. If you are going to stop at McDonalds on the way to my garden, leave the uninterested spouse and children there. We will all be happier that way. 12. Do NOT pull the plant marker out of the ground to read it easier, and if you must pull it out, PUT IT BACK WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM. 13. FEEL FREE TO PULL WEEDS .... IF YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE ... I WILL BE GLAD TO PROVIDE ANY TOOLS OR SUPPLIES TO ENCOURAGE SUCH ... IF YOU ARE WILLING TO COME BACK TO WEED .. I WILL PAY YOU IN HOSTA ... 14. if you want the label in the picture .. i will gladly do it for you, and put it back where i want it ... they are placed in a certain manner .. so me and the dog know where to walk when you arent here ... moving them can lead to bloody feet for one or the other of us ... and so i know where the dormant plants are in spring ... 15. Never ask to trade me two undulata's for a plant I just gave my left arm and two grandchildren for. 16. Don't ever ask in front of my spouse "Whad'ya give for that one?" 17. No, that one will never be big enough to divide up and give away. If you really like it, I will tell you where to BUY it. 18. Yes, I am sure you would like some plants to get started since they are so expensive. I know, I because I bought most of mine. 19. No, That one won't get any bigger with more light and fertilizer, it is a mini....we like em' that size! 20. Yes, this is a lot of work and takes alot of time, but it keeps me out of the bars.... and I don't get a hangover from it....Occasionally slugs can be a headache, though. 21. Addendum to #1. I did NOT even invite you. You were here when I got home from work and said you didn't think I would mind, since you are related to so and so downtown, and they know me. I DO mind. 22. Addendum to #3. Leave YOUR idiot dog home. Don't tie a beagle on a 6 ft. lead to my gazebo to destroy my Blue Mammoth Hosta while you are on the other side of the house and your dog is going nuts because you just disappeared from his view!! 23. If you don't know a thing at all about Hosta, don't ask for an invite, and then view my Liberty Hosta, which was 6 eyes last year, and say.."Well, I have that one--but mine's huge!!" 24. Do NOT tell me what I "should" OR "shouldn't" do or plant. I love talking about my gardens when someone says "have you ever thought about..." because it's interesting to share ideas and experience. However, I garden for my own pleasure and appeal, so I don't really care if you find something not to your liking. And please don't ever say: You should plant some marigolds. (No, I should not...they don't happen to be a favorite of mine and your barrelful is utterly boring.) You should run those bricks farther down. (No, I want it to transition into a woodland path at this point and you don't even have a garden path, so just go sit down some place and get out of my sight for a while.) You should try some of that colored mulch...really brights up the place. (Are you crazy?...I've seen your yard) 25. And DON'T waste my precious TIME, having to explain the history of each and every HOSTA to YOU, only to tell ME that they LOOK ALL ALIKE....See Moretsugajunkie z5 SE WI ♱
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agosmorz
8 years agolast modified: 8 years agogardencool
8 years agobragu_DSM 5
8 years agocearbhaill (zone 6b Eastern Kentucky)
8 years agogardencool
8 years ago
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