STK, not sure, not sure about the haywood campus?? I was trying to remember when he would have graduated from furman. For some reason I think it may have been his first job after graduating. May have been more like the late 70's. I'm doing my math...think he must have graduated around 76ish. But yes, i'm pretty sure he ran the fitness/conference center. For some reason I was thinking it was close to the top floor of the big building or something. Don't ask me why that is in my brain, but it is?? I'm not talking about the Davinci Code dan brown...lol....maybe that's why it sounds familiar. HA!

No... I remember a Dan Brown at Daniel........but trust me, I didn't get anywhere near the top floors for sure.........

I think he had long hair back then...a runner, a 12 string accoustic guitar player, and very smart!

At least it's not snowing now, when I put food out for my visitors. They got very lucky this week; I bought Dunkin Munchkins for a meeting, and took 3/4 of them home .. dessert for the critters!

Thanks for the ideas everyone. The background on the duvet is a bit yellowish. I have a tailored white bed skirt now, but the duvet doesn't look great against it.

Judyg, I do sew - a bit. I think I could manage a sheet/bedskirt. My brain isn't as sharp as it used to be and never crossed my mind until you and Linda mentioned it. I think it is a great idea. I will remember you have someone in my area that does 'real' sewing though. You never know when that little bit of info could be important!

Bobbi...glad you are feeling somewhat better.

well, he wasn't a shy type of guy and still isn't. a little cocky even...or confident I should say. he IS my uncle and i love him. He's only 6 years older than me, so I kind of grew up with him being more like a brother. Works at the University of Georgia now....in a totally different way, not a runner anymore! lol! He's actually a priest! He moved out to northern california after daniel to go to a theology school and get more degrees. That's how I ended up loving NoCa!!! I went to stay with him for a while and fell inlove with the place. But that was in Martinez....cute town.

mp, no problem!

Afternoon all, boy did I have THE best sleep in this morning. I can't believe I actually stayed asleep so long. Then a lovely long shower, washed my hair and pampered myself and I'm recharged.

Only downer is I suddenly have a feeling I'm losing my hair. I have super thick hair that suddenly feels thin but then I did have it cut very short, I'm looking at my hairline and I think it is receding but I just can't remember exactly how it looked a month ago. So silly when you look in the mirror every day yet can't remember details. Needless to say, everytime I comb my hair I'm studying the comb and counting every hair that comes out - but again I've never really looked at what normally comes out. I don't need this.

Bobbi, it sounds like you have an issue with somebody that maybe you have allowed to fester just a little too long. Doing your block will not help as no one ever listens to anyone ranting and raving - certainly don't take any of it in. Being nice and polite doesn't work either if the person isn't prepared to listen, they can then be too dismissive and you get nowhere. You have to take a mediator type roll along the lines of "there is an issue to be resolved and I would like to discuss it now as I need it resolved". State your problem firmly and how you feel because of it. Don't make accusations at all, that puts up a brick wall and try to stay as unemotional as possible. Keep on the issue of how you feel or the effect it is having on you, put your side across clearly but in such a way the other person has to listen and has to respond by putting their points across and discussing it. The thing you have to push most is getting that person to understand your feelings and needs without sounding selfish at all so you need to have well thought out and valid reasons to put up to support your case. It almost comes down to guilting that person into listening and considering the issue but of course you also have to show empathy towards any issues the other person may have. Also work on compromises you might offer if it doesn't look like a resolution can be reached as well as compromises the other party might consider offering - let them see you are serious and a resolution has to be reached.

Sit down, take a few deep breaths, do yourself a dot point list, don't be afraid to use it to ensure you don't forget a thing and go for it. I know you can do it.

I want HAPPY Bobbi back.

Astraea, hubby flies in from the Keys on Thursday night. If he gest stuck at Newark, please come and get him. He is harmless. (and cute).

Janis, my friend, Kathy, is in Dedham all the time. If you need someone to sew for you, let me know. She is such a good girl. Taught for years in the Harwich School System. Grew up in Dedham and her older daughter bought the family house when it went to estate.

Good advice Roo!

I used to have "scheme" on how to have a serious discussion without going into hysterics. I'd make a reservation at a fine restaurant - the kind that everyone whispers at. Neither one of us wants to "make a scene" so voices are kept low and civil! :) Ahh...the days when it was affordable!

Too true Darzy. Once upon a time you really could go anywhere to do that, no one raised their voices and were mindful of appearances. Nowadays everyone just seems to let everything hang out and not worry about a thing.

Roo maybe you are more stressed than usual. Stress can make your hair fall out for a while. I have gone through that from time to time, and the other other thing is remembering to get enough protein. I have heard, recently, that a lack of zinc can cause thinning eyelashes, but I don't know. Just remember to be easy on Roo and don't fret.

Darzy, now you have to go to Wendy's. No one can hear you because everyone is either deaf or the kids are screaming.

Thanks Mary, I think stress is definitely an issue, although I'm not uptight about things is it everything I have on my mind at the moment - maybe all that information overload isn't just going to my hips it is pushing the hair out too!!! I also have low thyroid and that can do it although I have been stabilised for years. I am due for a blood test in two weeks so will know for certain about that. Meanwhile I will definitely be more meticulous with my vitamins. Thanks for that.

Yes, times are different. We all don't hold it in as well as we used to. I think it is too much going on around us, in the world, in our families, so many people are having tough times on so many fronts.
My friend's mother died about two weeks ago and now her father just died. When I think of what she is going through, I know my problems are small, but, I honestly think we all have worries on so many fronts. I remember the good ole days, that our children will never experience or understand how wonderful they were. Sorry I didn't appreciate them more at the time.

It is strange how people often pass so close to each other. My cousin's parents died within 5 days of each other, the mother's totally unexpected. It is devestating.

Yep, the good ole days, how we embraced progress, but no one conceived how quickly it could engulf us and change everything forever. I wonder what we would do differently if we had the chance to do it all over.

Haha - and on that note I just got this email --

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN,YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE. SO - ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

~Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!

~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything.... Especially golf.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch

.~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.

~~~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

I was thinking about the technological progress today as I had to have an ultrasound test. It is absolutely amazing how much imaging technology has changed our world from medical scans to satellite photos

MP those are super cool deadbolts - what a great find! We changed out a deadbolt yesterday on our latest project. Nothing near as cool as yours but I found a set of 3 deadbolts and two doorknob locks all keyed alike with something like 8 keys for $5 at an estate sale. This is the second house where I've used that lock because when I sold the previous one I asked the new owner if he would give me back the lock when he put the new locks on...a dollar here, a dollar there, they all add up.

JudyG, yes my newest project has two bedrooms. The last few houses I've done have been two bedrooms as they're small enough to be easy to fix and affordable for most everyone. Until recently I never realized how much of a market there was for two bedroom homes and my landlord friends tell me that 2 bedroom houses are the best money makers for rentals also

Well, we might be experiencing our first flipper in our street. The house down the road, I think I mentioned before, was sold recently for the first time, the owner was going to a retirement village closer to her daughter. Anyway, it originally went on the market for $1,050m and after months dropped to the $900s. Have to try to find out just how much it sold for. It is a very solid house and a nice floor plan and pool but everything was nearly 50 years old, so the bathrooms definitely needed modernising. House has been empty for months but the new owners look like they have totally renovated the whole inside and the pool area and they have rendered the old fashioned red brick and painted the roof tiles. and painted the front fence/retaining walls. We don't see anyone around of a weekend like you would expect owners to be checking on work but today there was a truck there from a plant and outdoor furniture rental place so maybe they are staging it for sale. Hope they have an open house so we can see just what they have done to it and it will be very interesting for me to compare and see just how much they get for it as to how far I will go with our house.

Hola, Roo - Sydney? Blergh!!! :)

I follow AFL in that, if someone asks me for a team, I say "Hawthorn". I can name one player: Buddy Franklin.

Can we still be friends? These are pretty insurmountable differences! :)

That's so interesting about your flipper. How long ago did they buy? If they haven't lived there, they'll be hit with capital gains tax.

Now, now TLH, I'll be nice if you will.................. or we could join forces and pick on those banana benders.

Buddy Franklin rings a bell, I liked Gary Ablett which was why I liked to watch Geelong, but I think he has left them now. I also like Nick Riewoldt but he is with St. Kilda. I think the Swans colours are the only ones I always recognise and I quite like Adam Goodes, he seems a nice guy. Of course I stay away from Collingwood seeing Julia follows them. I just love watching the game, it is so fast and is generally much cleaner than the other codes, particularly NRL with the shoulder charge.

If it is a flipper, (which was only a term I learned on here) they only bought a couple of months before Christmas. I'm not sure exactly when there seemed to have been a long settlement. Maybe they can factor that into the sale price confidently, but it is a corner block and they just don't readily sell.

I started to tell you yesterday, when I lost my post, that we decided a couple of years ago to really renovate the house - it is coming up to 46 years now - not sure what our use by date is or how much longer we will be capable of living here but we wanted to get everything nice and senior friendly so we can enjoy our last years and hopefully the place will readily sell when the time comes. We live in an area of high demand, so a dog kennel sells, it is just more about maximising on price. My SIL sent me the link to this site and I haven't left it. I have gotten so many great ideas and I love coming up with colour schemes and coming on here to see similar ideas. Pity we are so limited for choice though.

Roo, you always have the funniest humor and interesting other communications to pass along, and other thought provoking tid bits. I am speaking of TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN,YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, etc. Thank You :o)

Morning all! Roo, that's pretty funny! Especcially the 'on' 'off' switch part, as I may be switching to a smart phone soon, and I don't know if I'm smart enough to handle it!

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and wishes. I'm coming to terms with this narsty problem and I realize there's not a dang thing I can do about it, although I have a few ideas that would probably land me in jail. So now I need to know.....what does the mother of the groom wear to a summer evening wedding held outdoors? Something between jeans and formal? Something that will totally piss off the bride and her coven?

AH HA!!!! Mummy doesn't approve???? You are right, there isn't a damn thing you can do but be the bigger person. RISE ABOVE IT, be gracious, even if you are gritting your teeth. You will choose the colour that suits you best, that you love to wear and you know you look damned good in. You will choose a style that is simple and elegant, a style that screams look at me because of it's simplicity. You will be remembered for your classy, understated, elegance. I'm thinking a dress and lightweight coat with a simple fascinator. Study the photos of the recent Royal Family weddings, there were some really cool outfits there. Have your hair, and makeup done and your nails sharpened. Start saving now and splurge!!!!

On the day, you will be your most gracious best, smile sweetly, talk lots of insignificant small talk so you will be remembered as friendly and welcoming by all while you discreetly ignore the bride and her coven.

GO COUGAR GO!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

Thanks roo. I should have mentioned it will be hot, hot, hot there and it's at least 2 hours from where we live so it needs to be long-drive-in-the-car proof.

Mummy doesn't approve? Mummy and R were an afterthought. "Oh, yeah, did you want to invite your mom and R? We haven't spoken to them in a year, you know."

Bobbi, re the smart phone - are you going for Apple or an Android. Personally I think Apple lead the way at the moment. I know they are twice the price - or are here - but they do give backup and support and at the moment are leading the way with their technology. We have Apple shops here where you can go for lessons. I was trying to help some people at Computer Pals one time set up their new Androids and honestly, we couldn't begin to work out half the symbols, there was just no reasoning to them where when I got my iPod I was easily able to identify the symbols. Consider compatibility too, at the moment there is no compatibility between any brands so you need to look at what brand others you are in contact with have.

With Apple, we can FaceTime - have a real live talk.

The phone - I don't know! R's getting a new one so I'll get his old one, I think it's an Apple. Or, I could get a new one, too, they're only 99 cents with a two year contract. And R is limited as to what his company will allow because the company wants all the phones to be compatible. I think....yeah, Apple sounds right.

Yep, I was working on heat - that's fine the bride will wilt too. Just keep to a simple dress then, choose a cotton/polyester mix that doesn't crush, something that looks like linen but isn't. Anything with too much man-made fibre doesn't breathe, but you need something with the cotton to stop it creasing. Crunch it up well in your hand before choosing. It is finding a style with a cut that is stunning. Haven't ever tried to find anything like that online.

Could you stay nearby overnight so you could drive down earlier and freshen up and dress in your hotel before hand and then you can enjoy the evening and have a leisurely drive home the next day.

I know exactly where you are coming from - our Italian Wedding the mother of the BRIDE was just another invited guest, no family, no friends, by the time we went through Italian aunties, uncles and cousins 10 times removed there was no room for anyone else. Everything was done "The Italian Way" which meant I was left sitting like a shag on a rock all night. I was soooooo tempted to take a book to read, which I later regretted I didn't.

I'd say they would be using Apple.

Roo, you are truly a genius and a life saver! Staying overnight is a fabulous idea, especially since it's near the Santa Cruz Beach/Boardwalk. I love it. At least there will be something fun to look forward to after the torture. Would dead roses be an appropriate gift? It will be a small wedding, only 32 invited guests. Get the 2 in 32? Oh yeah. I've met most of her coven before, and the funny thing is they don't like her either.

David, you have been summoned: https://www.houzz.com/discussions/stove-on-island-without-any-ventilation-dsvw-vd~381611

I'll open 3/6

I assumed it will be on a weekend, so yes a lovely weekend away will be brilliant for you and I think you are due a holiday, even make it a long weekend. As you say too, it will be your break, with a wedding thrown in. Interesting about the coven, just keep your ears open and your mouth shut - you MUST be gracious. Do you have someone to look after Rocky?

Oh yeah, gracious, that's me. Rocky? It will be warm enough that he could stay outside for one night, or for $50 the little gal down the street will watch him.

I guess it boils down to the fact that I'm not the first monster-in-law who didn't pick the bride, right? Seems so simple when you break it down that way. And I do love her daughter will all my heart, while they were still speaking to me she was the love of my life! We had so much fun with her at the flea market, bought her everything she wanted and rode the horsey's and R taught her how to stuff french fries in her mouth to look like a vampire......So I guess at the very least we'll get to do that again. It was hard going to the flea market without her! Everyone asked for her, she's such a charmer.

Be interesting to see if your might see the little one more after the wedding. Hope so. Continue to love her and she won't forget you at least, may even bring you all back together again.

As for picking the bride - kids are so different today, you would probably be lucky to find anything that would come close to your ideal - maybe it is best you didn't have to chose. I hated my LA SIL even before I met him and was determined I would never like him, but he is so nice and considerate and makes my dd so happy, he won.

bobbi, re: wedding... black from head to toe as if you're in deep mourning. >:)

Creeser, don't think for one minute I hadn't already considered that :))

bobbi, a friend of mine did it for her oldest son's first wedding! You could also wear solid white like the groom's mother did on Monster In Law, but I personally like the statement made by going in mourning. *L*

Creeser, you have no idea. I'm seriously thinking a broom would make a lovey wedding gift for her.

Bobbi, I feel so completely sad for you. My son's bride wouldn't let us invite anybody. At he wedding she never even spoke to me. They moved away and when they would come to visit they spent the entire time at her parents and it came down to seeing my son 4 hours a year. When they were with us, she would stand and keep looking at her watch.

One visit they spent the whole time with her parents a mile and half away, but were supposed to meet us at a sandwich shop called "The Hat" for lunch. Finally at about 8:00 in the evening my son calls to say " We are ready to meet you guys for the "Hat Thing" . We went over and waited at least a half an hour when they finally show up with her family in tow. I was so sad that I thought I have lost my son completely.

The next day, my husband is waiting in hopes that we might get a moment with my son and her highness. And my husband said we can't get upset, because if we do, when they have kids we will never get to see our grandchildren. And, I know Bobbi you can understand this, but I said I don't ever want to meet my grandchildren if I never get to see them, as I cannot see my son now. It was just too painful. I felt I had lost my son forever.

I remember I prayed and prayed.

Three weeks later, I got a call from her, and she said your son wants a divorce. Me, being the way I am, I felt very sorry for her, as I do know she really loved him, in her sick possessive way. When I finally spoke to my son, I said you need to talk to a marraige counselor.

But, the bottom line is, he was over her and not being able to have a life with his family or friends. And, now fast forward to the present, he has an absolutely dream of a wife, who is warm and giving and funny and who is having our first grand child.

Bobbi, a mothers bond with her son is very close. I believe in time he will tire of her ways or she will change. You are obviously a very loving lady, it comes through everything you write, so I know this is not over yet.

Mary Peggy, you hit the nail on the head. You cannot imagine what he and I have been thru together. Way too much stuff to go into here, but I do feel your pain. His gal wants exclusive rights to him, doesn't want R and I in his life at all anymore. Our invite was a second thought. She is possessive, domineering and just creepy. Doubt I spelled those words right, but you know what I mean.

I'm glad everything worked out for you and your son! I hope we have an equally happy ending :))

Bobbi, Stay at the Casablanca on Main and Beach in Santa Cruz. Nice place. I used to chef the restaurant there.

David, seriously, is there anything you haven't done? You're putting me to shame :)) Did you catch the link I aimed at you?

Believe me, you will. 24/7 of her is going to wear thin on him. He is putting up with it now because many men just don't want to get into. But there will come a breaking point, I truely believe and she will either have to change, or he will leave. That is what in my heart I feel will happen. Just do as Roo said. When you stand above it in Grace, her darkness of character will be even more insufferable. And, that is not your choice, that is her choice. She could choose to be kind and loving and she, thus far, has not.

EZ, don't you always have the best advice? Thank you so much. Her family is so completely self-absorbed they wouldn't notice if I came naked. I didn't even think about food! I hope it's not seafood, I'm allergic. Oh crud, maybe I'll just bring a Milky Way!

Mary Peggy, seriously.

EZ, I got an email notice of a post from you, but it's not here! Did you delete?

Ha! R says my purse is where I keep the plunger!

I'm just coming in on the tail end of this, since I've been busy on the computer all day. A friend of mine's son married a "diva", and it was always all about her .. until she filed for divorce. How do these sons grow up to be so spineless, that they let their wives call all the shots; marriage should be 50/50 .. not where the husband is willing to give up his family.

Astraea, thank you. Exactly how I feel.