Ummmmm, yeah, I rest my case.

I'd also like to add....I left the drill, 25ft Orange extension cord, putty knife, rusty hammer and screws on the counter for 5 days hoping he'd put them away after he was done??? Nope! Put them away myself yesterday. I should've done it the first day....after 25 years of marriage I really should know better. He probably thinks since I'm the one who got it all out for him it was my job to put it all away...he's one of those who couldn't find something if it bit him in the face. :)

I swear I recognize this scenario! In our long time house he used the dining table as an office. In the new house we're renovating, the kitchen bar is his messy office. (The dining table still being wrapped in a moving blanket without its legs and leaning against a wall.) We have 4 bedrooms for just the two of us! Surely one of them will do.

While we're at it, I have a plan for the garage when we finally are able to get our boxes out of there and into the house: I'm going to put all my tools in one of these and lock it. He can leave his tools in all the new and unique places around the property he wants, but I will know where mine are when I need them. He's always so puzzled at my annoyance that the correct screwdriver has been left god-knows-where and I am not pleased to be trying to guess where he's left it this time vs actually getting the job done.

You're right. It's a good thing he has a multitude of other admirable qualities or I'd have strangled him long ago.

There is no hope, we have been married 54 years and I have many of the same issues as you do. Good thing we love them!

Timely topic! We're just starting to settle into our new home, and we're trying to establish good habits, which neither of us had in our old home. I read somewhere that it takes three weeks to change or establish a habit; time will tell.

In our old house, the kitchen peninsula was the Happy Dumping Ground. I'm determined to avoid that with our new shiny maple counter that's just begging to be abused. I made a somewhat arbitrary rule that the new finish shouldn't have anything on it for a month. Hopefully by then we'll have established a good habit.

I'm using my dresser in the nearby MBR for my keys, phone, wallet, etc. With have a cute old desk that has become the computer desk, and I'm putting mail and other paper work there. So far, my wife is using the ironing board as a dumping spot. Not my favorite, but at least it's not in the public part of the house.

Since I'm still working on the house, I have a collection of tools out every day. Since the house is actually starting to look more like a house than a construction zone, I've been good about cleaning up every day.

We're also developing a no-shoes habit. Again, I want to minimize traffic on the new floors for a month, so we set up a little mudroom area, and all of the shoes except slippers are living there. I'm eventually going to build a bench and cubbies in the mudroom to improve it.

We have a unique opportunity to get it right. All of our worldly possessions are in the barn, and we're bringing in one piece at a time. Anything that doesn't fit, or isn't worth keeping stays in the barn until we decide how to dispose of it. I'm shocked at how much worthless stuff we packed and moved from FL only two years ago!

I gather up stuff and put it in front of their bedroom door (kids) on on his workbench (DH). One of the kids does the same thing to me. He likes the island completely clear so will take everything off and dump it on whose bed it belongs to.

So what are you telling me, my idea for a junk drawer in the corner of the island that DH uses for junk is a pipe dream?!? lol. I figure that at least with a drawer, I can clean his stuff off the counter with one quick swoop! The other thing I am doing is getting rid of the electrical outlet from that corner so at least the charging of the phone and ipad will be elsewhere.

The junk drawer has dividers that everyone except me ignores. The tools from the July kitchen finish were finally put away in September (by me, of course).

I have white cabinets with nice, large pulls. DH and DS both prefer to grab the cabinet doors rather than the pulls. I spent the last 3 months yelling "Use the handles! Use the handles!"

My limited laundry room cabinets ended up being filled with tools and junk (when it wasn't spread out all over the pool table LOL). For his birthday (aren't I sneaky?), I installed a whole wall of stainless cabinets over a giant stainless workbench in his garage. It took about a month before all of that stuff made it from the laundry room to his new cabinets. Another month for it to work its way back up to the pool table. And another month for it to go back down to the garage, only to be piled on the work bench. I've been using my mitre saw on the garage floor to do baseboards and door casings :o

You cant teach an old dog new tricks, but I still love him.

And he wonders why I want seperate vanities/sinks in the master bath!

OMG! YES! LOL.

I do think that those of us who tend to gravitate towards this board are probably more anal retentive in general. A place for everything and everything in its place, am I right?

My studio is a mess every time I'm working on a drawing, and a drawing can take weeks to finish, but when I do finish, before I start a new drawing, every pencil is put back in its case in color order, papers put away and trash thrown out. I know where every thing in my studio is and I have cabinets arranged just so.

Um, but I wouldn't say I'm anal retentive. Just because my clothes are lined up in my closet by color and style?

Rebunky, that looks like my countertops!

he's one of those who couldn't find something if it bit him in the face. :)

LOL. My ex once got indignant because he insisted I put his sneakers away where he couldn't find them. He had looked everywhere. I went into the bedroom and they were right by HIS side of the bed where HE had left them the night before.

My current DH had a camera he bought when we first started dating. He "lost" the manual. Couldn't find it for 7 years. We had gone on vacation and he had put the manual in his briefcase. I asked him if he had looked in his briefcase since that's the last place I remembered him putting it. He insisted he had looked many times.

7 years later when he decided to donate the briefcase he cleaned it out. Yep, the manual to the camera he no longer had was still in the briefcase; just where I had told him to look.

OH and back to the original idea of the thread. DH INSISTED I get a desk and chair for the guest bedroom for him to have a place to store his stuff so it was no longer on the breakfast bar. I think he's used that desk 2x in the 2 years we've had it.

Cpartist- are you telling me that other people don't organize their closet by color and style? How do they find anything?

When I designed our kitchen it got designed with a small amount of counter space outside of my work triangle on purpose. I got so tired of losing 4' of counter space to a dumping ground and being left with only 4' of working space.

The dumping ground only gets cleared up when we are having company and I am ok with that. None of the mess is mine. There is a plug in the area as well to be used for charging.

I have to admit I hate having DH empty the dishwasher because he puts the knives in the wrong slots in the knife drawer. I have to go and rearrange them and the mugs. My clothes aren't colour organized but my mugs are pattern and colour organized.

When we first finished the kitchen I would reorganize it until it was working properly for me. One day my poor DH said to me that he didn't care how often I reorganized the kitchen things but would I please stop moving the breakfast stuff. He got tired of the daily scavenger hunt looking for his cereal and bread.

And the junk drawer - we went from a 30" junk cupboard to a 15" junk drawer and no one seems to miss the extra junk space. At least not that anyone has mentioned.

Cpartist- are you telling me that other people don't organize their closet by color and style? How do they find anything?

This is the main reason why when we build our new house, I REFUSE to share a closet with DH anymore. His stuff is all over the place. He has short sleeve shirts hanging next to his suits, and mixed inbetween are long sleeved shirts and more casual slacks. Shoes are scattered on the floor under his clothes even though we have a whole wall of racks for shoes

As for other people, I can't really imagine not being organized like I am. I even insist on having all the same type of hangers. Ok so maybe I am just a smidge anal retentive?

I just wish everyone would remember that yes, we have a vent hood now instead of a useless hole in the ceiling, and yes, you do need to use it even when you are just boiling water.

ROFLMAO!!! Best discussion ever. I am not alone and DH is not an anomaly. Ditto everything everyone has said. This is another We-Are-All-Married-To-The-Same-Man thread. (Mushcreek, I think you're my dream man.)

Oh, DH has many fine qualities. And nobody can make me laugh like he can either. Good thing or his sloppiness and disorganization might have resulted in his slow, tortuous death years ago.

You think you have it bad?

• I don't dare put his tools away as I'm afraid to go into his shop. And, really, there is no place to put them as nothing has a place. I could just open the door and throw them in and they would be about as organized as he leaves them. (I have my own set and he's not allowed to touch them.)
• I have had items missing for weeks when he has "helped" unload the DW.
• He wakes up with stiff hands from a touch of arthritis so he kinda likes doing dishes first thing in the morning in the hot water. So if there is anything that didn't fit in the last DW load on the counter to be washed, he'll "wash" them. After I unload the DW, I load what he "washed" because they aren't even close to being clean. And, no, it's not his eyesight either.
• He walks past the coat closet to hang his coats on the dining room chairs.
• I have the joy of unraveling his sweaty bundled up socks when I do laundry and turning his clothes outside out.
• Thank goodness we have separate clothes closets. I won't even detail the horror that awaits within his. And he's not a clothes horse yet his closely is so packed you can barely put anything else in it. Mine is the same size with several feet of empty rod. And my closet has all of the sweatshirts (which I prefer to hang and that we share). Nope, I don't get that either.
• Don't even get me started on the garage.
• I periodically put a sign in the window over the sink saying "The sink is NOT a garbage can." I regularly find yogurt lids, peach pits, orange peels, and assorted other stuff in the sink.

My label maker is my new best friend. I wish I had discovered it years ago. Now some things actually end up back where they are supposed to go. I have even put labels on the shelves in the fridge. Even so, he'll still ask me where the ketchup is and I'll say "on the shelf marked condiments". Yup, it's been in the same place since we bought this fridge. The only times it's not there is if he put it away and I haven't noticed and moved it back to the condiment shelf.

I blame his mother. Her house is pure chaos.

this is the best post! I've been going crazy over this stuff. And was somewhat optimistic that it might change when we are done renovating. I guess that's a pipe dream. New place, same problem.

My goal is to create spaces and places for kids and hubby for dumping ground with doors that close.

we will see. glad to know that I'm not alone!

So, I have come to the conclusion that it is now a lost cause. The barn has now come into the kitchen and I think it plans on staying awhile......

DH did the "I'm not the only one" dance around the temporary island. Hmmm, I wonder where he hid those cast iron pans..... ;^) His philosophy is, "If it takes 5 tools, ya better bring up 10, the barn is too far away to have to go twice." On the To do list: finalizing everything with The Cabinet Joint this week!!! Decided on overlay- couldn't get the fronts I like for drawers with inset.

Heather

Hit another milestone today. For the first time in 2 years, both of our vehicles are in the garage!! Yay!!!

Hubby even managed to move enough stuff that we could also put the hot tub inside. :)

Everyone's stories today have had me laughing quite a bit. Thank you!!

Also, I've figured out I need to invest in a locking tool box.

For years I was frustrated that hubby would use one of my screwdrivers and not put it back so a few years ago, I bought him a set of 20 screwdrivers thinking he would leave mine alone. Nope!! When I need one, I have to go hunting.

Guess I should put a lock on my tools!

Oh this thread is hysterical! Thanks for the laughs.

Here was, let me repeat, WAS my cute pink tool set that DH actually bought for me. I found it on a chair on the lanai.

What is all that crap in there!!! A clamp? An old nasty doorknob? I can't even look in there to closely because a spider or cockroach or who knows what might fly out at me.

I can see only maybe a couple of the pink handled tools are left since he invaded it. I have been looking for my pink tape measure and hammer forever. Guess where I found them? Buried in the never ending tool pit in the back seat of his truck. Uuuuggghhhh! He totally stole them! Lolololo!

But if I take his fancy yellow tools out of his truck, I'm in trouble.

Good thing I love him to pieces. Married 23 years.

I am so enjoying this thread. Funky right now there are four of DHs jackets on the back of the dining room chair, one on top of the other

You're not alone. Before we were married, DH's place was immaculate. After the wedding, it was like I got a slap in the face. DH is really a slob and he hid everything while we were dating.

No one understood how he got me to say yes and I was too embarrassed to explain that color coded me married a man who left things all over. After 11 yrs, he's still not trained to put his shoes away and I'm constantly flying in the air into the corners of furniture. What's worse is that he has 9 pairs of slippers in play all the time in our bedroom.

I too arrange my closet by color, style, function and size. I had to give up half of my walk-in closet to him and once a month, I organize his half so I don't have to look at the mess. We had to rebuild the closet last year after my husband pulled down the entire closet in his effort to pull out a shirt. His side was so tangled that the hanger got caught.

I made sure that the rods are iron and reinforced with steel attached to the studs.

Any flat surface is simply depository for junk and mail in his case.

Ironically, this man complains that we have too much clutter because he can't find things he "put away".

This thread is hysterical I kept saying yup my dh does that. I refuse to bring anything including clothes he ain't currently wearing and furniture from the old house to the new house. he wears the same shirt and pants every day and leaves the rest on every single door in the house. Even the new house has pants and shirts of his hung over doors and the house isn't even finished being built yet. I def blame his mom who has this my sons are special and should never have to pick up after themselves attitude. That will not work around here.

I tried buying a pink tool kit thinking that would be safe. It was, for awhile. He lost his tape measure. Now, mine is gone.

Thinking locking toolbox a fabulous idea! Now maybe a locking closet for my yard tools.......

The secret for hiding your own stash of tools is to PUT THEM BEHIND SOMETHING. Mine are behind a gallon jug of Simple Green and my extra bleach. Since DH doesn't ever fill the SG spray bottles or do laundry, he will NEVER find them because he would have to move something. He has actually stood at that closet and asked me where my hammer or screwdriver is. He knows they are in there.....somewhere...but where? Nope, not hidden, just behind something, LOL. You can thank me later when you still have all your tools.

Each time I read this thread, I start to LOL and DH calls out, "What's so funny?" which sends me into more fits of laughter.

Remodeling is one of the best things we ever did in this respect (for me).

My husband and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum with keeping things. If we don't use it and cannot imagine a (realistic) situation in which we might, that thing does not stay in our house as far as I'm concerned. And I toss it with glee. I feel so light and organized and my whole life feels easier. Keeping things turns into clutter, which turns to leaving things all over my clean, usable surfaces.

When I met my husband, he had a deep closet in his living room full to the brim with "just in case" junk. Periodically, he'd throw another random thing in there. Never removed anything. Just threw things in randomly that were getting in the way of areas of the home he actually used.

When we moved out of that place (I eventually moved in with him), he started to throw everything in the junk closet into boxes, without sorting, intending to move the multitudinous, useless contents of that closet en masse to our new home. Especially when it did not have an extra closet I could sacrifice.

We'd never really thrown down about this till that point because I didn't need the junk closet for anything else, and it had a door that closed. But seriously. We were not packing up, MOVING, and unpacking four or five boxes of totally useless junk.

That might be the most basic tenet of my religion. "Thou shalt tolerate worthless junk in your home if, and ONLY if, the man to whom it belongs is VERY cute and has an accent and if said worthless junk causes absolutely no extra work at all."

I sat down and went through all that junk from the closet with him, item by item, and at some point we got into an argument (one of many in this process) about whether or not he could keep the THIRTY-SIX collar stays I found strewn randomly about in that closet. THIRTY-SIX.

This, incidentally, is how I learned what a collar stay even was, and the ridiculousness of the situation has burned not only the definition, but the number (THIRTY-SIX!) into my brain.

This is a collar stay:

It is a tiny pointy thing to insert into your collar to make the points of your collar stay pointy. A shirt can use a maximum of two collars stays, one in each point.

And, as I learned in that conversation (with my husband about his collar stay collection) as well, not every shirt my husband owned could use them. Most of his shirts were missing the little pocket for inserting collar stays or had one permanently sewed in already. In fact, EXACTLY ONE of his shirts could use collar stays. And, in three years of owning that shirt, he had never removed or needed to replace the two collars stays he left permanently living in the collar of that shirt.

And yet the man wanted to keep all THIRTY-SIX of his superfluous collar stays. And his main argument for keep them was that they were small! (This is definitely what you should say if you want to get pelted with thirty-six collar stays.)

This was after HOURS of arguing about whether or not he was actually ever going to use the free beer cozy he got at a game one time before he met me and had never used or the random plastic part to something he couldn't recall or the twelve kajillion shot glasses and nine wine bottle stoppers (we never throw parties, and I don't like alcohol, so unless he was about to open nine bottles of wine for himself...). On and on till we came to those collar stays.

I lost a lot of junk closet content battles that day, but heaven help me, we did not pack up THIRTY-SIX COLLAR STAYS for ANY reason WHATSOEVER.

But! The beauty of remodeling is that all the ridiculous stuff he absolutely inSISted we keep and that he would definitely use got packed up and stored in my parents' garage for the duration of our remodel. Which has lasted five years. We finally went cleared out the garage six months ago, and my husband had totally forgotten about the majority of stuff that was in there and had never used or missed in five years, and he just no longer had even a tibia of a leg to stand on about keeping any of it. He begrudgingly donated/tossed it all with minimal fuss, and it was awesome.

By far the best part of remodeling. :D

"I'm a man. I can change. I think. If I HAVE to."

I'm as guilty as anybody when it comes to leaving stuff laying around. My mother was never a housekeeper, and I learned her habits growing up. But I am trying with this new house. At 62, I'm a pretty old dog, but we'll see.

Equal time, though. On our bathroom vanity, my wife's side has 8 items out; probably a record low. My side has... a toothbrush. I'm not even sure why I leave that out. In the small mudroom area, my wife has 6 pairs of shoes; I have...one.

My wife and I are best friends, and have always been very open about discussing the little things that bug us. I definitely married well above my station, and admire what she puts up with. My ace-in-the-hole is that I built her a house!

People (wife, husband, kids, parents) leave stuff out, because of two reasons. Either they don't like to put things away OR there is not a convenient place to put it.

What I NEED is a mudroom, with tool storage and a big pantry. What I HAVE is a laundry room with a small pantry and a tool box. Still trying to stretch my space/time continuum, but for now....my washer and dryer are still catching a lot of debris :)

LL said: "People (wife, husband, kids, parents) leave stuff out, because of two reasons. Either they don't like to put things away OR there is not a convenient place to put it.

Well DH complains but then never puts things away. He claims I'm a bigger slob than him because every once in a blue moon, I'll leave a magazine or a paper on the table or chair for 1 day. Usually because I'm in the middle of reading the magazine or the paper is to remind me of something I need to do. But I'll always then put it away. Not DH! LOL.

Mushcreek, I'm sorry but men do not need as many items to get themselves ready. So yes I understand her having more stuff out on the counter.

Lavender, I have bent over backwards trying to provide convenient places for DH to store things. In our old home, you walked into a foyer with a coat close, a relatively empty buffet and a small church pew. Instead of hanging his coat in the closet, DH would walk right past it and hang his coats on the dining room chairs. Instead of putting his wallet and keys and any other small items he was packing around in the totally empty drawer in the buffet provided for him, he would put them down wherever (and then hunt for them when he needed them). Part of the buffet had cabinet doors where he could put his briefcase or the briefcase could go on the church pew or on the floor of the closet. All kept empty and waiting for the damn briefcase. Nope, he usually set it down next to the same dining room chair he put his coat on. Arrrrrggghhhh!!!!! If I put all these things away, he couldn't find them. Crazy!

In this house, similar set-up. Coat closet right inside the door from the basement (where we park and enter the house from). Room on the floor for the briefcase. Drawer about 5 feet from coat closet for wallet and keys. Now the coat gets hung on the closet door handle and the briefcase laid right outside the closet. The wallet and keys get put down on the top of the cabinet right above his drawer.

So there has been progress, lol. At least items now land right next to where they're supposed to go so they're quicker and easier for me to put away. I predict by the time he's about 80, he'll put things away and then he'll turn 81 and Alzheimer's will undo my years of training. :)

I still blame his mom. Although she is a lovely lady in many ways, she has the messiest and most chaotic house I have ever been in. My daughter is thinking of turning her into the Hoarders TV show.

ETA: I may need a few more items to look presentable to the world than DH but I still put them away. Open the drawer, pick up moisturizer, use it, put it back in drawer, use next item, yada yada, close drawer. Quicker than putting them back on the counter and then putting them all away.

I'm a bit of a minimalist. I strive for efficiency. :)

I wonder how many of us who are suffering the messy husband syndrome married mama's boys. I did- only son who was incredibly spoiled. His mom did everything including shucking his corn cob.

He didn't eat corn for 10 yrs because I refused to shuck his corn when I make corn on the cob. After smelling how good they were and learning how I eat my corn in typewriter rows, he finally is eating corn on the cob. His excuse was that he hated how corn stuck between the teeth.

I pity the women who will marry my brothers because they were waited on hand and foot by my parents. I built them custom closets and yet all their clothes were always covering the bedroom floors. They don't know how to cook or clean. They're hard workers and sweet but severely domestically challenged.

My house can be a bit of a disaster at times, but I know where I put stuff, and where I expect it to be. I have drilled into my boys' heads that, for example, the claw scissors (pencil sharpener, hammer, etc.) must stay here because when I need them, this is where I am looking, I won't look anywhere else, because this is where it belongs. I've tried to teach them that I keep my keys/purse/cell phone in the same place all the time, I know where it is. Things should have a home. The ipod should never be missing because when you aren't using it, it goes in it's home. So far, so good. But they do have a Y chromosome and reading this thread, the training may not stick. LOL

Funkycamper said: I have the joy of unraveling his sweaty bundled up socks when I do laundry and turning his clothes outside out. I show the boys the socks and say Really? How is this getting clean? I will undo it but the inside out stuff gets washed and folded that way.

As for the dishwasher, we've only had our kitchen 18 months now, and every now and again, they'll pipe up with, I don't know where this goes, to which I answer, you've lived in and used this kitchen for a year and a half. Figure it out.

I sound kind of hardcore! LOL It's the former Correctional Officer in me coming out. LOL

@Beachem

WORD.

My husband wasn't a mama's boy (he's extremely independent/responsible/orderly by nature), but he grew up in Russia where male/female roles were (are?) a lot more traditional. His mom was a stay-at-home mother who did absolutely everything around the house by herself while expecting (and receiving) no help from her sons/husband. The sole chore she asked my husband to do (clear the table & rinse dishes) is, shockingly, the only one he is really great about doing as an adult.

She did him such a massive disservice by not insisting he help with and learn domestic things. And she did me a massive disservice because now I have to teach a resistant, stuck-in-his-ways adult all this stuff. He is so collected and competent with his job and school and dealing with people and starting a retirement fund the first moment he could and all the big stuff, and yet I still get consulted every time he does laundry.

I met him when he'd been living alone/independently for five years or so. He was 24 and:

1) Was totally unaware of the concept of wiping surfaces down. Didn't know how to do it, had never noticed the need for it -- flatly didn't know it was a thing. Everything in his apartment was put away neatly (except the kitchen, since he didn't really use that room), but every single surface was coated with dust. All kitchen and bath surfaces fell/fall into this category too. (He once cleaned the toilet bowl with his bare hand and a kitchen sponge because I didn't give him more specific directions and he didn't know what a toilet brush was.)

2) Did not know duvet covers existed and thought top sheets were stupid and therefore didn't use either, but also didn't wash the duvet. He washed the fitted sheet and pillowcases regularly. Just didn't realize the duvet didn't stay perpetually clean.

3) Didn't know mattress pads existed.

4) Was totally ignorant of all nutritional information. (Actual, real, serious question asked when he was 31 and we were working on his eating habits: "Is rice a vegetable?" The man has a master's degree.)

5) Was totally ignorant of all first aid information (the basics of what do you take for a headache and how much, when and how to apply sunscreen, whether or not a cut is bad enough to maybe need stitches, and how you should own bandaids and put them on your cuts rather than wrapping your bleeding hand in a shirt and calling me in a panic).

6) Did laundry completely wrong. Stuffed the machine till it could barely move itself, let alone the clothes. Washed and dried everything on the highest settings all the time. Didn't know the lint trap existed.

7) Had learned to turn on the oven one month prior to meeting me. His cousin's wife showed him.

8) Attempted to grill frozen meat. (Without thawing it first.)

9) Didn't know how to use a peeler. I had to teach him twice.

10) Was completely outraged on several occasions when I informed him that he couldn't use any glass in the cupboard to measure out a "cup" or any
spoon in the utensil drawer to to measure out a "teaspoon".

11) Stuck metal knives in the toaster to fish out his toast.

12) Had the worst eating habits I've ever seen. He couldn't cook AT ALL and still totally hates even trying (I'm slowly, slowly working on that). So everything he ate at home came frozen in packages. Everything he ate out was greasy and nutritionally void. He ate fast food hamburgers ~4 days a week. He never ate a single fresh thing ever. Never bought fruit. Never ate vegetables. Nothing. He was very interested in helping me eat the fruit I brought home, but he was totally mystified/intimidated by picking out appropriately ripe produce at the store, peeling it, chopping it up, etc.. Assembling salads only recently became a thing he is confident about (he is 32 now).

His cholesterol was at dangerous levels well before he turned thirty, and it has been so much work to get him to improve his habits and bring his cholesterol back down again.

The cleaning stuff is mostly funny, somewhat gross, but ultimately non-life-threatening. But the nutrition/cooking/health/safety stuff was just terrible. It's been such a lesson to me about how incredibly important it is to your children's well-being to insist they learn basic domestic skills. And that's not even mentioning how much more likely their spouses are to throttle them if you don't!

Oh, mgmum, rest assured, my kids learned differently. They knew how to do clean up after themselves and put things away by the time they entered school. By the time they went into middle school, they were doing laundry and helping make dinners. After they were about 4 years old, I NEVER had to peel apart their balled up socks or turn their clothes the right way because they learned not to do that. (Probably because they would hear me cursing when I did their dad's socks, lol). My son is a vegan and quite the chef and is fanatical about being spotless, no shoes in his house, yada yada. He makes me look like a slob. My daughter isn't quite that anal. I would say she's just a slight notch below me in tidiness and organization but that means she's a gazillion times better than her dad.

So, yeah, I may have to peel apart his stinky socks but he does all our project DIY. Our project is moving super slowly but he also maintains four rental properties we own plus a lot of maintenance on his 88 year old mom's home, has a responsible job for which he travels a fair amount, and a part-time consulting business. And he does all of the heavy yard maintenance and home repairs on top of remodeling projects.

When the kids were young, he never considered watching and spending time with them "baby-sitting" like some men do. In fact, he gave up many of his own activities in order to coach them in baseball, fastpitch, soccer and basketball and we enjoyed many family hikes and camping trips together. In fact, sometimes he'd take them hiking or camping for the weekend just so I could have a weekend alone. Oh, when he did that, he totally made up for the balled up socks, that's for sure!

And I have had the pleasure of never having to work full-time during our entire marriage. I was a SAHM when the kids were little and now work just part-time. So I put up with his sloth because he does so much else. Sometimes, when I get irritated, I have to remind myself of all the good things. :)

As I previously stated, he grew up in a slovenly home but learned to work hard on yardwork and home repairs with his dad. Inside work was his mom's and sister's job....something none of them do well.

Jillius....I have no words. He sounds wonderfully accomplished but you are a saint for teaching him all that. I guffawed out loud at your list. The dog wondered what was up. :) It makes my own list look like nothing.

I appreciate the sympathy! :)

He fortunately is teachable, so it's not too bad. I wish I could transcribe his extreme moral indignation about the teaspoon/cup measure thing. It was so funny.

"I didn't use your stupid teaspoons or tablespoons or whatever when I last made [Kraft] macaroni and cheese! I used this spoon [holds up cereal spoon], and it turned out FINE."

My DH never, and I mean never, puts anything away. Drops it wherever he happens to be at the time. Tools, papers, everything....... Then spends hours looking for stuff. I told him if I ever did that in the kitchen, I wouldn't have time to fix dinner. And, how can a grown lose 7 flashlights, yes 7 that have totally disappeared somewhere in his messy office, messy garage and messy workshop in the basement. I think it is a gene that most males have....... And, about moving something to find what might be in back of it, NEVER. Like it never occurred to him that something might be behind something else. I always said I need a refrigerator 30 ft wide by 8 inches deep..........

OMG, thank you to everyone who has posted. I am not alone!! My DH is just like DiannaR's, except that no matter where he drops stuff, he knows exactly where it is. I have always said I am married to Messy Marvin. 28+ years. I lowered my standards years ago.

MM has 1/2 of the kitchen table taken up with stuff. He does home repair, so he comes into the house with his notebook, tablet, misc hardware out of his pockets, random tools or supplies or piece-parts. If he doesn't need them tomorrow, they might stay there indefinitely. At least he insists that we have a sit-down dinner, so enough of the table is clear for that. He also has part of the peninsula for longer term junk. His office, basement, and his side of the garage are in the same state. As someone else said, the only time the kitchen gets cleaned up is when we're having company.

The thing that really amuses me the most is the dirty laundry. He undresses next to the bed. About 6' away is a laundry hamper, with the lid up. (If the lid is down, you pile it on top.) But the clothes always ended up in a pile on the floor, 3' from the hamper. So I started leaving an empty laundry basket in between. He literally has to extend his arm to get things into the basket. Where do they end up? On the floor next to the basket.

But he has so many good qualities that I learned long ago to just laugh.

My Mom used to hide her best tools in her underwear drawer, where my little brother would never look for them. That probably won't work for a DH, however.

But hiding tools behind the Simple Green - genius!

Oh boy. We are both guilty, but in different ways. He likes organizing things, but not so much the keeping up with the Great System. I think that getting a knife in the knife block is fine. They have different handles, so what's with the Assigned Slots? But he can't find a utensil if it is 3 inches away from where it "belongs." OK, I am bad about that, I feel like "close enough" is success. I know how to scan my eyes around and look for stuff.

We designed a drop zone into the new house. We haven't moved in yet, so it still has a lot of utilitarian junk there. No junk drawers in the kitchen, though.

Oh yeah, and when I find something on the new counters by the door, I just move it. (I mean hide it. I mean move it, because that's really the same thing.) It turns out that the defense for this is "it's being staged." Which means, "I might come looking for that water bottle sometime in the next 3 days." Or "my sweaty hat will be so easy to find if I put it right here." Or "every counter needs a steel measuring tape." (OK, that part may still be true.)

And if I complain because there's a coffee cup with a half inch of coffee left on the peninsula? He's "saving it." Honest, if I call him on it, he'll drink it. Stone cold.

Oh well, 32 years and still going strong. I always say I could never train another one, though. I'm sure it's mutual!

Great thread. I'm lucky my DH is even more meticulous than I am. But training the 4 kids is going to be a challenge. I'm thinking a large cardboard box in the sink for the first week or two with a giant sign "NOPE. PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER."

lawmama- I should try that!! I've got 2 full size dishwashers but the kids still put everything in the sink!

Texas_Gem - aw, so not fair!! We're getting 2 as well, and I'm hoping to institute a 2-dishwasher rotation process. Rules: There will always be one dirty and one clean dishwasher. In the morning, breakfast dishes go in the "dirty" dishwasher (which shouldn't have anything in it, because it should have been emptied the night before). After dinner, everyone puts their dishes in the dirty dishwasher. The person responsible for dishes that night finishes loading and runs the dirty dishwasher, washes any non-DW safe dishes in the sink, and empties the clean dishwasher. I'm hoping to be able to point out the benefit to doing it this way: before, the kid in charge of dishes for that night not only had to empty the clean DW but had to scrape/load everyone's dirty dishes (including his/her own) and run the DW! Of course, this involves logic, which doesn't always work well with teens and little humans under age 10. I wonder if the 2-DW process has ever actually worked in households with kids???

Well, I will say my kids are 2, 4, 6 and 8. The older 2 are getting better about it but its kind of hard to get a 2 year old to put her cereal bowl in the dishwasher! I am very proud that she knows to take it to the sink though!

I like your idea of rotation, I may have to try that!!

Biggest issue for me is my kids are very short, they still can't reach the kitchen faucet to turn it on, and they can't put up any dishes that go in the uppers. Heck, my 4 year old just recently reached a height where she can finally turn on a light switch. Before she had to ask people to come turn a light on for her.

I'm wanting to start having them do their own laundry but again, they can't reach the control panel for the dryer.

Guess I need to invest in step stools for every room!

Wow, you have your hands full! Mine are 18, 16, 9 and 6, and their dad is 6' 7", so they have no excuse!! Don't worry, your little guys will get the hang of it eventually. Good for you for instilling good habits in them while they're young. :)

What's a closet?

My mom and sisters, and even my father were almost (ok, really were) OCD about cleaning. When I visit, I never put my cup down because they'll clean it up. I sip my espresso most of the morning.

That said, you might recall me horrified because I was identifying with the poor, sad people on (wait for it) HOARDERS! I have crap everywhere. E.V.E.R.Y.Where.

For the longest time, almost 10 years,my excusewas because I was building cabinets and hadn't gotten to closets. I had plastic containers of everything you can imagine. E.V.E.R.Y.thing. Tools, kitchen crap, sewing. Beading. Eventually building materials, plumbing and electrical supplies, E.V.E.R.Y.thing, E.V.E.R.Y.where.

Even before DH bailed on me, the house was a mess. But to this minute, you ask me for something I can tell you exactly where it is and how many. And we're talking a 1800 SF house, under construction, with one (crazy) woman in it. My garage still looks like Home Depot, although much of the overflowing materials have been gotten rid of BY INSTALLING THEM. What a concept.

Truly, I'm a construction materials hoarder, but I use my shi..., er, uh, crap. The only way to get rid of it is to build something, install something, or (now) sell it on Craig's List.

I spent the last 2 days (maybe 3 hours each) clearing a 16' long kitchen counter. I couldn't even wedge more screws onto it "for now." A friend said, if I wasn't going to use/build something in a month, it needed to go into the garage, (tools and materials) into a now-built closet, (winter coats and other seasonal things) or be stacked out behind the barn (front yard projects). Did I mention E.V.E.R.Y.thing is stacked in the front yard? Pavers, Lumber, Doors, Gardening stuff, Sawhorses with stuff I'm stripping on it You can stop me any time.

But I'm entering into a "get rid of it" phase. I have this every couple of years. I can't stand the crap, I have cabinets and a closet. I guess I have this weird fear, that like a filing cabinet, if I put stuff "away" it'll be out of sight, out of mind and I'll just continue to accumulate. And build.

Everything has a place, but there's just happens to be something else in it. No DH to blame (altho I wake up because of the snoring only to find there's no one to blame -- but I don't snore). He was a dirty kind of slob, but gone now. I hate that. At least garbage goes in the garbage can and dishes at least to the sin so I can load 'em.

Oh - I forgot the whole point of this. Training: I've rebuilt my house to facilitate my habits. Hooks by the front door for keys. Laundry off the MBR so I can throw dirty right into the machine. A guest room into which I can throw all the clean laundry I hate to fold. A shoe rack by the front door, where I always take mine off. A waste basket by the credenza for the junk mail I stack there.

I'm doing better.

KAW- have I mentioned how much I love my double ovens and KA mixer? Oh, its been a month?!? Well, let me mention it again!!

My kids school has a Fall Festival every year, it is the biggest fundraiser for the PTA and I always contribute.

The festival is on Saturday and I signed up to bring several items for the cake walk (the most popular attraction)

So today I picked up the kids from school, got home and made 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies, a dozen cupcakes and a mini cake, all while making dinner and helping with homework.

After I was done with everything, I simply carried it into the pantry and set it on the countertop where my kids wouldn't be able to reach it.

Ignore all my husbands junk in the background! ;)

A few years ago this would have taken twice as long.

I love my kitchen!!!!

Yo, I got lost for a while. I was pinkelephant64.

I'm remodeling a 1927 one room schoolhouse. I went into "plumbing" and asked a question about the cast iron plumbing and they told me I was an idiot and needed to hire a pro. then I got locked out and couldn't post. I replaced my 4" cast iron pipe and now have PVC plumbing, I ripped out a bunch of walls and lowered the ceilings. I ran 500 feet of city water, 200 feet of underground meter wire, I have a new fuse box and I'm rewiring the house. no professionals called yet. Now I'm working on finishing the walls for the kitchen and bath but have a lot of wiring to do still. My basement still has no lights cause I don't want power in the old wires. That's this weekends project

I remember you pink elephant!! Did you finalize your kitchen layout?

south wall
3 ft lazy susan corner $213 Menards® SKU: 4836922
3 foot sink cabinet $129 Menards® SKU: 4836927
(2 foot dishwasher)
18" drawers $142 Menards® SKU: 4836951
3 ft lazy susan corner $213 Menards® SKU: 4836922
(12 ft 7 7/8 in)
($697)

west wall
(3 ft corner)
3 foot stove
48x24 corner cabinet $143 Menards® SKU: 4836925
(10 ft)
($143)

Island from west wall
18" drawers $142 Menards® SKU: 4836951
24" drawers $161 Menards® SKU: 4836952
($303)

$1143
------------------------------------------------------------
west - top cabinets
36x36" cabinet $135 Menards® SKU: 4836945
(range hood)
24x36" cabinet $97 Menards® SKU: 4836941
24x36" cabinet $97 Menards® SKU: 4836941
(10ft)
($329)

south - top cabinets
36x36" cabinet $135 Menards® SKU: 4836945
24x24x36 corner $136 Menards® SKU: 4836946
(5 ft)
($271)

east - top cabinets
(2 ft corner)
12x36" cabinet $78 Menards® SKU: 4836937
3 ft fridge
(6ft)
($78)

$678
------------------------------------------------------------
(Cabinet)Total $1821

I actually cheated. we were visiting relatives and I realized they had my floor design in their kitchen so I copied them. I just swapped the fridge and stove so kids wont be passing the stove going into the bathroom. no choices on the bathroom/kitchen layout. the toilet is 12 feet from the fridge. the closet beside the stairs will be a food pantry and all the seldom used stuff will be stored in my 900 sq feet of 3 foot tall crawl space between the old and new ceilings. I supported all my (new) walls and ceilings thru the basement to not put any stress on the house and basement walls. I plan on working on drying out the basement next summer then probably putting cinder block walls inside the 1875 crumbling walls after that and use the new walls as forms to pour cement in the space in between and then finish cleaning up the basement