My mom is retiring and needs help.
10 years ago
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- 10 years ago
- 10 years ago
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Mom with MS and no retirement saved plus cheap brother
Comments (13)You need to check your LOCAL laws for permit requirements. Every municipality is different and you are wasting time asking strangers on the Net. Until you know what your local laws and zoning codes permit, it is again a waste of time to draw up any plans. Investigate modular housing and how your local codes handle these types. Also investigate manufactured (mobile) homes; if your local codes allow, it is the fastest and cheapest housing you can find. Make a ramp to go up to the front door for accessibility, or create room for a chair lift off a front porch. You also need to talk to Social Security or at least start reading their website. When and if your mother becomes disabled, disability might pay her more than SS might. Also, you need to become aware of the Medicaid asset limits and how they would apply to your parents. Most (80%)nursing home residents are there under Medicaid. However, any home health services used prior to failing the 3-ADL definition of disability; e.g., before she becomes disabled from MS, must be paid by the person/family's own funds (Medicare nor Medicaid never pays for home health care except under very limited circumstances). It is a great shame your brother is being so uncooperative. You need to start getting Power of Attorney and a Durable healthcare Power of Attorney on both your mom and dad immediately. Good luck and keep notes! Your brother may very well turn into a problem down the road, and you need to be thoroughly documented on any actions you take on your parents' behalf....See MoreHelp for my Mom dealing with Dad's terminal cancer
Comments (22)Hi, Kay. Yes, she is going through all of the paperwork, and she is getting a bit overwhelmed. My dad left everything to her, and my sister-in-law, who is an accountant, is the executor of the will. She is doing most of the work, but they are waiting on the official death certificate before the house can be put in my mom's name. She can't sell until that is done. She also has to get rid of the car, since she doesn't drive, but one of my brothers needs a trade-in, and he is going to buy the car from her ( at a fair market price, of course). My dad did have his affairs in order, and all of the investments were in my mom's name anyhow, so she doesn't have too much to do. Right now she is slowly going through the house getting rid of things she won't need in an apartment. They lived in the same place for 44 years, so it's quite a big job, although in recent years they did begin to clear out a lot of junk. The biggest job is already done. My dad was into model trains, and had a huge set-up in two rooms in the basement. He had literally hundreds of cars, plus little villages, etc. He kept all of the boxes, but it still took us the better part of a week to dismantle the whole thing. The trains are going to be divided up between my brothers, and my mom didn't have to do a thing. We have been very fortunate that there have been absolutely NO arguements over money or disposing of posessions. I have heard so many stories about how a death in the family can bring out the absolute worst in people, but this is not the case for us. All of my brothers and I just want our mom to have as smooth a move as possible, and to end up with as much money as she can get. She is anxious to sell, she finds there are just too many memories in the house, and she wants a fresh start. Hopefully, she can be settled in her new place before the winter weather begins....See MoreMy Mom needs computer help please...
Comments (5)If lightning took out the computer it may well have taken out the cable modem too. You should check that first. I see far more damage to equipment through the phone lines than through power lines. That's the first thing I'd check....See More2 homes for the Divorced Mom and the Retired Parents - one project
Comments (8)Welcome to a roller coaster ride of a life time! To start, you(parents and you) need to decide what is the best option. You might try listing all the wants and needs in a list. Keep in mind the possibility of a major life change. Now, generally, building new is faster/cheaper than extensive remodeling. Reason? Building new is just putting together the components of the building. Remodeling is removing, restructuring, and replacing parts of an existing building. Twice the work and labor. The differences depend a great deal on location. We bought a great house that was a foreclosure, built in 1965. I was able to do all the necessary work myself and we got the house for less than the appraised value. Even after all the work, our investments left us with equity. Had I had to have all that work done by others, we would have been over equity and upside down. And there was no structural rework needed. We could not have built new for less money in this area. On that list, include where you want to be 10 and 20 years from now. And projected needs. Will your parents need handicapped access? Is there room for expansion if necessary? Look at the projected changes in the area. How are the demographics changing? Example: My neighborhood was original owners and retirees 10 years ago. In a three block section of our street, there are about 25 homes. In 10 years, half of those homes have been sold. Most of the new families all have children. All of those new families, except one, are in their 30's and 40's. My wife and I were the 'New Kids' when we moved in, now we are the 'Old Couple'. All that change is fine with us, but had we expected things to remain the same(ala retirement home type life) we would have been disappointed. Once you have the wants and needs list in general terms(number of bedrooms/garage or not/single level or two story/and so on), you need to discuss cost. Two houses will cost twice what one will. Two houses will need twice the maintenance---yard mowing/leaf raking/snow removal/etc. One building(shared house/duplex) lessens the individual costs. But impacts personal styles/space differences. Your parents may need easy access down the road. A two story means that will be an issue. A single story/duplex minimizes that issue, but raises the cost of the building. As Virgil posted, you will need help. You need a professional who understands the dynamics of your situation. I'd hesitate to say a realtor would be the best choice. To find the house(s) you finally decide on to be sure, but not what to look for. Realtors are pro's who find/sell properties. There are realtors who can do what you need, but in my experience, those folks are far and few between. You should talk to different trades. Contractors, realtors, architects, and designers and find the person/firm that can best work with you towards your goal. Your feelings about that choice are important, but it will be a long journey. An extra 6-12 months in deciding on the best option will pay off later....See More- 10 years ago
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