You need to check your LOCAL laws for permit requirements. Every municipality is different and you are wasting time asking strangers on the Net. Until you know what your local laws and zoning codes permit, it is again a waste of time to draw up any plans. Investigate modular housing and how your local codes handle these types. Also investigate manufactured (mobile) homes; if your local codes allow, it is the fastest and cheapest housing you can find. Make a ramp to go up to the front door for accessibility, or create room for a chair lift off a front porch. You also need to talk to Social Security or at least start reading their website. When and if your mother becomes disabled, disability might pay her more than SS might. Also, you need to become aware of the Medicaid asset limits and how they would apply to your parents. Most (80%)nursing home residents are there under Medicaid. However, any home health services used prior to failing the 3-ADL definition of disability; e.g., before she becomes disabled from MS, must be paid by the person/family's own funds (Medicare nor Medicaid never pays for home health care except under very limited circumstances). It is a great shame your brother is being so uncooperative. You need to start getting Power of Attorney and a Durable healthcare Power of Attorney on both your mom and dad immediately. Good luck and keep notes! Your brother may very well turn into a problem down the road, and you need to be thoroughly documented on any actions you take on your parents' behalf.

Hi, Kay. Yes, she is going through all of the paperwork, and she is getting a bit overwhelmed. My dad left everything to her, and my sister-in-law, who is an accountant, is the executor of the will. She is doing most of the work, but they are waiting on the official death certificate before the house can be put in my mom's name. She can't sell until that is done. She also has to get rid of the car, since she doesn't drive, but one of my brothers needs a trade-in, and he is going to buy the car from her ( at a fair market price, of course). My dad did have his affairs in order, and all of the investments were in my mom's name anyhow, so she doesn't have too much to do. Right now she is slowly going through the house getting rid of things she won't need in an apartment. They lived in the same place for 44 years, so it's quite a big job, although in recent years they did begin to clear out a lot of junk. The biggest job is already done. My dad was into model trains, and had a huge set-up in two rooms in the basement. He had literally hundreds of cars, plus little villages, etc. He kept all of the boxes, but it still took us the better part of a week to dismantle the whole thing. The trains are going to be divided up between my brothers, and my mom didn't have to do a thing. We have been very fortunate that there have been absolutely NO arguements over money or disposing of posessions. I have heard so many stories about how a death in the family can bring out the absolute worst in people, but this is not the case for us. All of my brothers and I just want our mom to have as smooth a move as possible, and to end up with as much money as she can get. She is anxious to sell, she finds there are just too many memories in the house, and she wants a fresh start. Hopefully, she can be settled in her new place before the winter weather begins.

It will take you a little time to find a good advisor, so do that FIRST. You need to meet with them to see if you like them - this person will know a great deal about you and you need to feel comfortable working with him/her. Then you need to have them give you a sample of their quarterly report. They should 'sanitize' an actual client report or have a standard dummy rpt so that you can compare what info one advisor gives clients compared to another advisor - there is no standard format, so you need to be confident that the info on your account would be clearly readable and easily understood. You need to check references, at least three clients who have been with said advisor at least 5 yrs and are willing to be personal referrals. It isn't a quick or simple process, but this is your money and your retirement - vetting an RIA (Registered Investment Advisor) is critical. You would want to interview at least two, and preferably three, RIAs before deciding on who to work with. Only an RIA can do financial planning, which is what you need before you make the decision to sell (especially in this market). Accepted certification titles that fall into the RIA classification are: 1) CFP: Certified Financial Planner 2) ChFC: Chartered Financial Consultant 3) Certified Public Accountant and Personal Financial Specialist (CPA with a PFS) 4) Chartered Life Underwriter (CLU - for insurance estate planning ONLY)

Hi everyone, thank you for all of the comments. I do appreciate everything that has been written and all of the suggestions and points brought up. The thing is, my mom and dad have worked hard their whole lives and if this is something they want to do, I am in no position to tell them otherwise and wouldn't dream of doing so. My mom hates the short cabinets (not the cherry) and as this is her dream house otherwise, she is not going to budge on the idea of updating -- especially when she would prefer to stay in this home as long as possible rather than buy new. I guess I don't see it as wasteful if this is something she wants and again, I have to reiterate that when they eventually do go to sell, being a little fresher will not exactly hurt them; on the contrary around here in this particular market. As for the goofy photoshop I posted, none of those things were my suggestions or even set in stone...we were just playing around with ideas and especially wanting to look at the stacked cabinets. So not really trying to be trendy with the marble etc., just grabbed a lighter counter to use for the photo because I know my mom intends to lighten things up on the counters and backsplash. And again, the cabinets in the photos are darker looking than they are in real life so I'm afraid they are not the best representation. I have to admit I am kind of finding it amusing everyone on a decorating/remodeling site is advising against remodeling this kitchen even when the owner wants to, but I do understand your reservations and in many other cases, I would totally agree with you. Real estate wise, I've lived in areas where it didn't matter at all and I've lived in areas where it does and unfortunately (or fortunately if you actually enjoy the process), the latter is the soup of the day around here. I'm in the midst of a master bath remodel right now myself and it's downright addictive so I get why my mom is into the idea, though. Anyway, again, thank you very much! I will answer some comments below: Nosoccermom - "I do like your proposed changes. The only thing that I personally would prefer is a more streamlined (non-wood) hood, but it sounds like your mom likes the one you propose. I'd also put a built-in microwave in that empty fridge spot and perhaps a coffee station rather than the solid wood cabinets/drawers there, maybe even some open shelves for cookbooks." I actually would prefer it if she went with a metal range hood myself and she is actually thinking about going that way. Everything is still very much up in the air...she had just always thought she would like a wood mantle hood but seeing as she wants to mix the traditional with a touch of modern, some more sparkle would be a great idea. As for the microwave, it's actually in a drawer on the island but that spot by the fridge, she's been thinking about tall glass cabinets or open shelves there and some small drawers underneath which are actually not drawers but a flip up area for coffee etc. Hard to describe and my picture wasn't at all what she had in mind. Thank you for your suggestions! Fishymom and Javivwa, the two tone white and cherry is a non-starter not only because of my dad, but my mom is not a fan. I've seen some pretty versions of it though so I know what you're talking about and that's definitely a good option. I do think she was considering a creamy white island possibly but again, just in the talking stage. Thanks again! Sophie, in this particular area, unfortunately this kitchen is considered outdated...especially the short cabinets. Even the new cheap houses here have tall cabs so they're pretty much expected in the price range this home would be at. My mom is not into fads. In fact, she generally goes the opposite direction, so she's not really wanting to remodel to keep up with the latest trend. Again, it's both for her enjoyment while she lives in the home and when she does sell, the updates will not hurt. They never do unless they've gone horribly wrong, generally speaking. :-) Thank you for the suggestion! Kimberly, my mom is about the least wasteful person on the planet and she has done more for people in her lifetime than I will ever be able to do, so if she wants to remodel her kitchen, I don't think she's being wasteful; I think she's finally doing something for herself which I wholeheartedly applaud. She's certainly not doing it to follow a trend, she's doing it because she wants to and I don't see an issue with that. I'm sorry that you do, though. Thank you anyway. Elizard, yes, definitely all new hardware and lights etc. Jewelry is always important to a girl:-) And quartzite has actually been talked about so definitely an option, thank you! Jillius, thank you for the comments! Not sure if you saw up above but the cabinets are not that dark in real life. I understand what you mean about looming though and with the 10 ft ceilings and lighted glass as well as the cabinets that aren't that dark, it won't be quite as dismal as it might appear. I love the idea of mixing up a new material for the hood and I am definitely hoping she trends that way in the end. I really think that would help on a lot of different counts. As for the backsplash, that was just a mock up to use something lighter so definitely not the end choice or anything. I think you bring up a good point with that, however i know my mom is pretty set on keeping it all fairly light so we'll just have to see what kind of counter material she settles on and go from there I suppose. Anyway, thanks again everyone! This is the best place and I really do appreciate the time you've all taken.