i said it in my earlier post, but I will say it again. I would immediately walk based upon the quarry. As zone4newby pointed out, and as I tried to earlier, quarries can change. My own experience is another case where things changed. H and I did a great deal of due diligence prior to our last build. We checked the zoning of all the nearby properties within a couple of miles. We're in a semi-rural area. We made sure we understood exactly what could happen with each zoning classification. We thought we had it covered. What we did not know, and the county didn't tell us, was that years ago properties zoned for agriculture could dig rock (a quarry). Being new to the area, that was the question we did not think to ask. When the zoning changed some of those properties were grandfathered in to be quarries if need be in the future. None existed at the time of our build. Since then an old farm, a mile away, has discovered it contains a very specific type of rock needed to clean up some kind of superfund site in an adjacent county. This type of rock is some what rare. Five years ago or so, the lovely farm on the nearby hillside became a very active quarry. That first summer they ran rock crushers 24/7. We could not hear it inside but our neighbors did. We could not enjoy the outside that summer with the constant hum of the crusher a mile away. (Not across the street) It was quite the fight to get it stopped. Today,, at least once a week, we hear the blasting going on. It's pretty disturbing. Even concerns about a nearby watershed expressed by the county, the department of natural resources, the neighbors, etc. could not stop it because the rock was needed. BTW-if there is gravel, it's pretty likely they use a rock crusher.

Iam not going to comment on the description of how a marriage ends in this post. its been my experience that marriages end for all kinds of reasons, in all kinds of ways, and that the blame for it never really rests on one of the parties alone. That being said, I sometimes find myself cringing when reading some of the posts here by second wives. Almost every second wife who is running into stepfamily problems, who posts in this forum, whines about how the ex wife was/is a horrible mother, and treats the former husband so horribly, blah blah blah. They constantly denigrate the step kids, while claiming their own kids are perfect angels. More often than not, they blame the ex wife for the kids problems in the stepfamily. Most divorced people and their new spouses will look negatively at a previous spouse. Thats human nature. But realistically ladies, you CHOSE to marry your husbands, and they in turn CHOSE to marry their ex wives and have babies with them. If these women are so horrible, then what does that say about your husband's taste? Fact is, most bio mother and bio fathers are just fine. They dont do things the same way you would, and there is some residual bad feeling, but they arent the problem. when you marry a man with children , you need to put your own natural inclination to try to take over his and his kids lives on hold, and just STAY OUT OF IT. If he cant, or wont deal with the ex, its not your problem OR your place. LEt them work out the details themselves, and stop the critisizing. For the most part, ex's and their new spouses, on both sides of a stepfamily, have a warped perception of t he other side. Again, thats probably human nature, but it will make it much more stressful to do the right thing for the children. Lest you think that I am some bitter ex wife whining, ( which I notice has been the assumption on others who call out the nasty attitudes on here) I will say that I am a bio mom of four, and a step mom of two. My ex husband has never remarried, and thus my children do not have a stepmother of their own. Do I get along with my ex? No. But I dont bad mouth him, and I deal civilly with him, so that the kids arent affected by it. After all, what does it say to a kid if you tell him what a donkey his other parent is? Sometimes, ladies, the high road is to allow yourselves to be wronged by the other party. As for my step children, I stay out of it. I love my stepkids, try to do things that help them in their lives, worry about things they do that can negatively affect them.One of my stepkids is having major problems with attitude and school. I dont think some of the things that their bio mom does are correct or helpful, but guess what? they arent my children, and its not my place to tell her how to parent. There is residual anger between my husband and his ex, and I guess my natuarl inclination would be to side with my husband. I do, privately. But I refuse to be drawn into their issues, because they are THEIR issues. Anyway, ladies, I think a lot of you need to just lighten up and stop trying to control things to your liking. Those things arent your place to control anyway. Take the high road a little more often and dont knock the bio mom. She is almost always doing the best she can, although you dont see it. And your husbands are almost always doing the best that they can, although the bio mom doesnt always see it. Thus is the nature of divorce , and stepparenting.

Molly, i feel for you and i know exactly how you feel when your Dh gets depressed over this. My dh and I are in the same situation. His kids come eow. Now they're average once every 2 months or so... It bothers my Dh alot but i told him its not his fault for several factors. 1. Its natural at their age to want to be with their friends. (his kids are 10 and 13) Especially the 13 year old is now always talking about her friends and now makes alot of plans with her friends..she skipped coming for 2 months. She showed up last visit but next visit she says she not coming..she just wants to plan something with her friends. Your dh should not take this personal. We all didnt' want to hang around our parents at that age. 2. BM does not encourage them to come and we do know from reliable sources and the kids that she downgrades us....due ot her own insecurities etc..etc..wont waste time discussing her. We have a toddler ourselves and yet its difficult. My son is much younger and cannot do the same activities. The connection with their dad is an on and off one..again due to BM poisoning...but also after the years of let down my Dh also has given up and just doesnt' make much of an effort anymore either. That is his side and his fault and yet i understand the burden. I saw show last night and it shed alot of light and these kids go through alot of pain, confusion, anger...and at their age they're also dealing with peer pressure and hormones. The only advice i can give you is based on what i do. Support your husbands emotional needs, stand by his side and keep doing activities eow regardless if they come or not. Dont' revolve around their world. My Sk have cancelled so many things, from tickets , to different shows, to family pictures. After a while resentment builds up. Until you just let go and say, you come eow to visit. If you dont want to be part of this family , no one forces you but its yoru decision , your loss. Life continues and you just have to plan things around your core family not counting them in 100%. When they decide to come ,you just add more people to the party. Thats it. Your core family with you, your husband and son should be your focus. Dont wait by the phone eow like i did and my husband. Its an emotional rollercoaster i got off of 2 years ago and have no intention of hopping back on. My attitude is if they come, great, if they dont, whatever, life goes on. Your husband like mine will have a better relationship when they get older. They're growing, they wnat their friends now, its all about them. and there is nothing wrong with that. Let them breath and just let them know the door is open.

Clarification: I meant that most American recipes use too little of the spices called for--really like the authors are being stingy--not that they need to call for more spices. H B, I'm glad to give you a laugh, but I've actually been there when making small, low heat sauces. :) Re combos of many flavors, I do like a lot of them, like the Italian spaghetti sauce I grew up making, Indian and Mexican food, etc. Mr. Rao talks about how his mom removed "everything unnecessary") from each sauce. That leaves a clean, fresh, simple flavor and makes it possible to distinguish one cooked down tomato sauce from the next, however, for depth and richness, my own is the best with all its components making a harmonious whole. Both answers are "right"--it just depends on what you want it to taste like in the end and they're all good. Re meat: I was taught that good meat (the opposite of the half rotten medieval stuff Linda mentioned that needs exotic spices to cover the stank) doesn't need any spices at all. Broiled or grilled naked with a little finishing salt is all. I also like meats with good sauces, because I like sauces, but it doesn't require it, and if the sauce is hiding the flavor of the meat it's too much. Chicken needs more to be entertaining, but flavorwise, it can be fine on its own as well.