I need some help with what to do next: I’ll try to explain without getting too long winded, but my thoughts are a bit confused, and I’m hoping the wisdom of this forum can straighten them out.

We are planning on building a new custom home. Right now, we have conceptual drawings. I want to make sure we are done making changes before paying for constructions drawings. We have a builder, a general contractor, and an estimate for a cost plus build. I have started talking with banks about home loans. We hope to break ground late this year. (Yay!)

As I see it, I have 2 interrelated issues right now: (well there’s probably a lot more than that, but let’s keep it to these two :)

1. Last week, I went to initial appointments with two different kitchen designers. Right up front, I told them that the house drawing showed just a rough proposed kitchen layout. Basically, I have a space to put a kitchen, and I would like help designing the best kitchen I can afford for that space. I told them I am function oriented, but understand nothing about style, or how to make my kitchen “look right” in my home. I told them I wanted some ballpark estimates for the kitchen I want, and I need their help defining what I want.

I met for about an hour with both, talked about appliances, and both have seen pics from my houzz idea book. I know I want things like frameless boxes with full overlay doors with some sort of recessed panel/shaker style.

Both gave me the impression of being very knowledgeable about their product lines, both have impressive portfolios, left me feeling that they are detail oriented, and that they could supply cabinets on time/budget/without a lot of mistakes/ etc.

Here’s the rub. Both seemed more like order takers, rather than designers. I need the most help with the big picture. Both designers wanted to show me cabinet features like lazy suzans and built in flatware organizers, which is nice, but I was hoping for a bit more creativity. Yes, I want to know how the cabinets are constructed, but I need the most help envisioning how my kitchen will look, and then how their respective product lines can achieve that, and then a rough number for how much that will cost.

Neither was interested in discussing possibilities for alternative layouts, or even giving me an option to pay them for their time to do that kind of work. I am not expecting free design time, and I tried to make that clear. Both just wanted me to pick a door style, and tell them what colors/stains I wanted, and if I wanted glass. (I need them to present me with options for those kinds of decisions, I’m terrible at style stuff).

One of them has been extra impressive, responding in just a few days with a worked up estimate, and making it clear from all three interactions we’ve had so far that she would like my business. I have no doubt if I hired her my kitchen would be really nice.

Am I asking too much? Should I keep looking?

2. The second issue is a bit larger picture. We have a builder we are happy with. With finally have a floor plan/overall design for the house we are really excited about, it fits the site just how we wanted (its taken a long time and far too much money to figure that out). We’ve hired a general contractor that who gives us a lot of confidence that he can make the project go smoothly (we’re excited about finding him, the pieces are really coming together). The last piece of the puzzle for me is aesthetics/style: I can’t make style choices to save my life (seriously, I can’t even pick a paint color, it would be terrible) – who do I hire, or how do I otherwise make style choices that make sense for my house. (I know we want hardie product exterior siding and a metal roof – I need help picking the colors and style (hardie plank? Board and batten? Where? What colors? Should there be any stone/brick?)) What colors should I paint the inside walls? How do I pick products for the bathrooms? Painted or stained trim? What trim style? Door styles? Wood flooring choices and stain color? Tile flooring choices? Light fixtures? Can I hire someone to help me make choices so that there is some sort of consistent style? Who? Do I need to hire an interior designer as well as a kitchen and bath person (who seem to just be cabinet order takers and not designers?)

Ok, this is extra long, sorry. I’ve never really built a home before, much less a custom home, and this is a massive and expensive project. I don’t know how to address all of the above. I am confident our house will function well and suit us, I just don’t know how to make it look good as well, because neither of us have those skills. Like everyone, I want to balance getting what I want, without having the budget spiral out of control. To some extent, I can pay professionals to make certain kinds of decision for me, but the budget is certainly not unlimited, and I need to find a balance there, and find the right people. I have no idea how to do that.

If you made it this far, thanks.