I have the green light to completely re-do our family room with new furniture, carpet, the works, but I find I'm paralyzed and have been avoiding the project. I don't trust my own taste and I fear making a mistake that I'll have to live with for the next 15 years.

I think this ties into fear of rejection or of being ridiculed. I have a healthy supply of that.

I like color - all color - but I'm pretty afraid to paint it on my walls. I keep backing down from bold plans. I think part of it is fear of hating it and having to do it all over as I am quite lazy. I did once ask an interior designer to help me go bold but this was completely contrary to her personal style and she recommended neutral putty colors everywhere. This isn't my biggest decorating weakness but I think it's the biggest fear-based avoidance I have.

jewelisfabulous, I've had the fear before. Whenever hubby is in the mood to spend lots of money, I freeze. I learned a long time ago to buy whatever, then return and get what I want when I'm not under pressure. That won't work in your case though.
Linelle, I find it sad that so many have that fear of being ridiculed. I figure if you like it and it works for you/and your family, then it's beautiful. We all can't like the same things, so I gave up that fear a long time ago. I can thank my Mom for that. She let me decorate my own bedroom from an early age, never telling me I did something wrong. When you start feeling that fear, let it go and remember that not all great artists are understood in their own time.
robo , I think many of us have that fear for both the reasons you gave. The fear you won't like it and having to paint again. I hate painting by myself. I'm fine if I have someone helping me though.
I'm just a little bit leery of color on walls, though not too much considering our kitchen is cobalt blue.

sheesh , I hear you. I've always been very frugal. Even when we can afford things, I don't do so frivolously. My hubby says he hears horror stories from his friends on how their wives over spend, so he's very appreciative that I think before I buy.
I got through periods where I super energy and get loads of things done, but it's quite often when I have some help.

I find I get tired of things and change my mind often. So I haven't bought anything unless I love it. It's also finding what style my house is yet making it our own.

Sheesh, I could have written your post exactly. I am taking a break from painting my dining room at this moment. It is a nightmare. The money, the chaos, everyone mad that I an doing it.

Back to painting!

akl_vdb, that's not such a bad fear to have. Especially when so many of us have way more than we need. I used to buy something that I liked just because it was cheep. Now I ask myself before I buy no matter the deal, would you still want to buy this if it were full price? Works great for me. Sounds like you're already that way. Good for you!
anele_gw, how about we help each other paint what needs/wants painted?

I paid for a very expensive custom colored wallpaper that hasn't been delivered yet ... speaking to my mother this past week, who only saw a small sample when visiting from out of town, and she has decided it "might be too much and I might get tired of it". Well thanks Mom for the words of confidence! It is not returnable and lots of other decisions in the room have been made around that wallpaper. It is a bit crazy, design wise, but I like it and a finished room will look much better than the unpainted patched walls from a door/closet we added 4 years ago. Nothing like your mother throwing doubt into your project!

I`m not afraid of being ridiculed but I do know that my tastes are very different from that of my friends. I`m more minimalist and not as minimalist as I would like to be because I do know that would make people uncomfortable. But the amount of clutter that people can put in their homes astounds me.

I finally did stop caring about what my mom thought about my decorating style which did give me the freedom to declutter.

I am 62 and I do know that I am afraid of having my home caught in a time warp both colour wise and accessory wise (well what accessories I do have). That does cause me a certain amount of angst.

When we first bought our house, I didn't have much trouble making (sometimes bold) paint color choices. It is only paint, right? No biggie. Well, the hasty before-we-move-in kitchen color that didn't work at all, and no one except my husband liked, took over four years to get changed. The living room color that wasn't what I really wanted but was good enough for a good stretch, my husband loves the color and changing it is pretty much out of the question unless there is a fire or something.

So now that one of the bedrooms is going to need to be painted a couple of months from now, I find myself experiencing a large amount of anxiety about even choosing a color at all, much less a specific one. Even though I will be doing all of the painting, it feels as though I will be trapped with whatever ends up on the walls first. This new fear has taken all of the fun out of what used to be a carefree attitude about color and painting. Neutrals seem the only safe choice anymore. I am sad that my decorating spirit has wandered off and crawled in a hole somewhere.

Chispa.....when we bought our first home in Florida it was a beauty----a gorgeous acre lot on the golf course of a gated golf and polo club....huge pool (so large we had commercial equipment), and just perfectly beautiful. My mother visited and commented "It's fine, for you." She has damning with faint praise down to an exact science, lol.

I am not afraid to decorate as I have a secret weapon: a really good ID.

It is only paint! I'm practically broke right now, but paint is relatively inexpensive. And there's always the 'reject' section at the big box stores. Don't be afraid to barter....all they can say is no.

As for effort, pace yourself. Ask friends over to help. Make it a paint party and make sure you'll be there for their project.

Design is so scary because we all worry about what other people will think. Why? It's our house. It's our style. Start with a room you don't have company in very often and have some fun with color. If you don't like it, stay more neutral in your public spaces.

Remember that saying about worrying about what other people think :)

Those who matter don't mind....and those who mind don't matter.

I have gotten to the point where my taste has evolved, and it only want high quality items in my home. I absolutely will not buy "place holder" furnishings, accessories, or art any longer. I'd rather do without or wait if my budget won't support a certain item. So, needless to say, when I am ready to make a purchase, I THOROUGHLY research each & every item. Even though I had a healthy budget, It took me two years to finally choose a rug for our dining room! I had scads of wool rug samples strewn about. I just love my house so much that I don't want to screw it up. I occasionally work with an ID, but I find I use her more to bounce my own ideas off , rather than use her creativity.

akl_vdb, I don't think that's fear. To me, that's prudence! We live in such a throwaway culture. I wish more people would just wait to buy things until they find/ can afford something they love and keep it forever. My in laws (who are wonderfully awesome people BTW, don't want to sound slamming), rolled their eyes at me when we spent $1500 on an apartment sized custom sofa when we bought our first house in 1999. (I would have gladly spent less, but back then EVERYTHING readily available was huge, overstuffed, and roll armed). Anyway, they said "We got our sofa, love seat, and chair for that!" But guess what? They are on their third living room set (maybe fourth?) in that time, and my sofa is still going strong.

Like nini804, i'm not a sporatic/spontaneous buyer, and only purchase well made items, some new, antique, or consignment, so my patience *is* a vertue! Each home i've lived in was decorated over a 2-3 year span, and hurrying was/has never been a consideration. I knew *eventually* I would find the items I 'had in my head.'

My home here in Tx totally caught me off guard re:decorating. It all started with a small area rug I bought just because I liked it, and didn't have a clue I would be building a new house to use it in! This small rug dictated the colors thruout the home, tans/black/cream, and the decorating was completed within a year. i've found using these neutrals has made my decorating so much easier, and if I wanted to add lime green, red, blue, or even fuchia into the mix, it wouldn't look odd. I have a love affair with my home. ;)

As Christopher Lowell always said, "Where there's fear, there's no creativity." So don't be afraid. Jump in with both feet. You will learn by doing and get better at it all the time. My taste has certainly gotten more sophisticated than when I first started out, but all along the way, I managed to create rooms I enjoyed, even if I changed them more often then than I do now. Enjoy the process...it's so much fun. And if you don't like the outcome, it's an excellent excuse to start the process again!

Annie, I miss CL! I either taped or watched every one of his shows. A friend appeared on two of his shows, one being the 'Glass House' episodes. My son and I went up to LA to be in the audience and I was chosen to open the show that day. It wasn't Interior Motives, but it could have been called The Christopher Lowell Show, his second series. Anyway, IRL he was just as he was on tv, very friendly and enthusiastic, but we thought he seemed tired, possibly suffering from burnout. I have to wonder what he's doing now.

chispa, chalk up your Mom's comment to her not having your vision. I'm sorry she brought doubt to your plan, but she doesn't live with you so it's all your design ideas that matter.
blfenton, your comment reminds me of the first time the ladies I worked with years ago first saw our home. They were shocked. At work I was all about having as little out as possible. Our home was decorated in Country with many little collectibles displayed in shadow boxes and those cute country wooden shelves with heart cut outs. They expected our home to be minimalist and were pleasantly surprised when they found out I actually liked "things". Still minimal for that style, but far from what was expected.
As for time warps, ours is more of a mix of various times out of the past since I love older furniture that was made well with lovely wood veneers. Besides, if you love it, whose to say it has to change with the times?
gyr_falcon, have you tried doing a virtual of color on your walls? It may not be exactly like it would be in real life, but it can give you and enough of an idea that might help take the fear away.
lavender_lass, very good reminder. I feel the same way about what I, and others, do in their home. I do what I like and works for us and rejoice for others that have the guts to do the same.
nini804, good for you! I think that's something many are, or have, worked for in their own homes. The strength to wait until the right piece come available and within ones budget.
kiwigem, are your in-laws frugal, or do they just like to change things up more often so it's hard for them to understand spending that much money on one item?
patty_cakes, funny how one thing can spark so much joy.
Okay, I've been reading too much about that KonMari technique. LOL
Annie, that's one of the reasons I loved watching Christopher Lowell so much. He didn't tell us we had to do things this or that way, he taught us how to be fearlessly creative. I miss him, others like him, on TV these days of monotonous shows, where everything always looks the same. Over and over again, shades of white on white on white.

Just for you Patty.

https://www.facebook.com/christopherlowell

http://www.christopherlowell.com/

http://christopherlowell.com/blog/

Justgotabeme, you are sweet! Yes, let's help each other paint! I am finally almost done with my DR and it has been worth it. Today family saw the pretty new color (yesterday was primer) and everyone actually likes it. Feels like a warm candlelight glow. I hope nice color = good moods!

anele_gw, it sure would be fun to help each other out, if we lived close enough. My daughter and I primed and painted all the walls of our home before we moved in and boy do I miss her when I paint anything now. She's painting their "new" home now and I'd lobe to be able to go out and help her, but I watch our grandson for our son during the summer. I'd take him with me if it wasn't for the days he goes to his mom's.

justgotabeme- they are of modest means, but not frugal with regard to their means if that makes sense. I don't think they desire to switch things up, per se. It seems they just buy things that wear out (with scarcely any use!) and have to replace them frequently. Once things show wear, they don't want to wait to save up. They want it fixed right away, so they get another cheap fix and the cycle starts all over again.

chispa- I hope you post pics of your wallpaper! I'm thinking of having some in one room, and I've never chosen wallpaper before. I am a little nervous, but I love the paper so much I think it will be ok….

kiwigem, oh my. You'd think they'd have learned by now, wouldn't you?

You know I think it's largely generational. They came of age in the 50/60s when everything was supposed to be new and shiny. My grandparents who were from Europe and 20 years older than my in-laws would save for years and years to buy something really special. And then they would take care of it and it would last forever. I guess I just tend to lean more in that direction.

'"..have you tried doing a virtual of color on your walls?"

No yet; the occupant is still in residence. ;) My feelings are all over the place, and also wrapped up in all of the other changes that are going with the move out. He would like me to keep it the color he chose, but that is dark green DE Tee Off. While I like the color, to my eyes it is a bit unsettling and too much for an entire room.

gyr_falcon, you can still do a virtual, since I'm assuming it's one of your children in the bedroom of your home that you want to paint. Just take a picture of the room. You don't have to share it, just use it as visual for yourself.

Ha. You're assuming I could see the walls in a photograph, justgotabme! Furniture, bookcases, moving boxes, video lighting kits, greenscreen set-up, piles of clothing on the floor, paintings and art all over the walls... :)

I am absolutely paralyzed when it comes to making decorating decisions for our house. This is not the case in any other area of my life, but I tend to spend all my time (years) planning everything in my head and doing absolutely nothing. I'm not held back by finances or lack of resources, I think I'm so hung up on wanting to achieve perfection, that I get stuck in the planning stages. Right now I have a bathroom that needs to be redone due to a leak. and Dh is furious that I am taking so long to execute it. We also need to paint inside and out, buy new sofas, refinish floors, get a new front door, etc. and all I do is look at pics online, research everything to death and read forums. The funny thing is that when we were starting out 30+ years ago and on a tight budget, I was fearless. Maybe because I am spending more, I am afraid of screwing up and being wasteful.

gyr_falcon LOL That sounds like my preteen room back in the days of posters all over the walls.

melis918, I think part of the problem is there are so many choices to make now that you didn't know about 30 years ago. You named the reasons for that too. The internet and online forums.
My advise? Back away from the computer, head to a brick and mortar store and make your choices from what's available in your area.
The reason I know this is because, though I don't fear actually doing it, what I do fear is that I'll miss something going on in the virtual world instead of doing what needs to be done in real life. Which is why a couple weeks ago I decided to challenge myself to getting things done that have needed to be done. I'm pleased to say it's working!
Here's one of the things that needed to be done that I did.
A couple years ago a cleaner leaked under our sink causing the pressed wood floor to swell. Instead of really fixing it, I covered it with some vinyl wallpaper I had to use as shelf lining. Which I don't have a picture of. This is the damage done by the leaky cleaner.

Anele, I have to ask. What color did you paint your DR?

Holly-Kay, I have missed you! I was moving the bouillotte lamps we bought today and thought of you! I painted the DR (and today, LR) Caen Stone from SW. Not an exciting or dramatic color but we have so much drama with the kids that I need a (visual) break.

Thanks Anele! I haven't been on much due to selling my business and all the stress of making that happen. I will be going into the shop twice a week for the next six weeks or so to help the transition.

It's great to have some free days. I threw my back out and have to stand or sit in a very straight back chair. Hopefully it will feel better soon so I can get some long delayed organizing tasks started.

Yes, but while you're sitting in that very straight back chair sounds like a great time for some GW time....just sayin'.

I do hope your back is better soon, perhaps when the stress of the business has diminished it will help your recovery.

I actually think many people are afraid to redecorate as they become overwhelmed with the many choices of colors to use, different styles and textures and so many different options for them to choose from these days. It's a bit intimidating and it's hard to even know where to start at times, so many people just don't even try due to this fear. Not having the money to redecorate the way you choose is also an issue for most of us in these recession days. Money is used to pay bills and there's not much left over for costly redecorating/renovations. That's why I say, "Thank God for houzz.com!!" You guys help me much with narrowing my choices and assist me much in deciding what may be best for me. Thanks for that!! You guys are great!! :)

justgottabme, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the info on CL! Will also pass it on to my son who was/is a big fan. I read several years ago where he had moved to Santa Fe~think he said he was so 'over' the Hollywood thing.

Wonder why he stopped posting after Dec 2014. As for his radio show, will need to do a bit of research to find out if it's on a station in Austin.

I love reading his 'written word'! He's always had such a way of saying things, making the words seem so personal, as though he were privately speaking only to you. And be bares his soul, keeping him 'real', not some Hollywood prototype. How can you NOT love him? ;)

Holly---hope your back if feeling better. I know what that feels like, as I've thrown my back out in the past and was laid up in bed for 2 weeks. Horrible! Hope you're up and around again and feeling better. Thank God for straight back chairs, huh?! Take care!

Holly- Kay, nice to see you check in. I'm sure you're looking forward to when the transition is over and you lay back and relax and let your back heal.

syd, I have to agree with you about too many choices anymore. Being online can both be a curse and a help. The coming from the wonderful ladies on the forums.

You are very welcome patty. It's nice to know what he's doing. I plan on seeing if his old shows are on Hulu or Netflix. I've just not had the time to check yet. If I remember correctly, he posted right after Independence day. I have always enjoyed his personality. So real.

Thanks bl, Syd, and just. Thank goodness for Gardenweb to keep me amused!