@Rai Kai … I did learn so much!! Thanks for your contributions! @Beckysharp haha. I will be doing more research with the lawyer. I think overall my realtor was good—but I am not sure if overall we were the right fit. We will see if we stick with her. I know she put a lot of work and time into it --- so I do feel bad about us not going through with it. I will be doing more research and googling, and reading and using all my resources! Promise! @PitrateFoxy – I’ll probably be doing some research on a lawyer to have “on call” when we are at that point. You all were so right about all the other things – and I’m sure a few extra hundred bux (what like 500? ) will put me more at ease as I don’t like surprises unless they flowers, chocolate, or kisses :D @bellburgmaggie – isn’t that the truth. Alos.. Houzz app isn’t going anywhere! I love your story about finidng the right place! Man.. 3.5x your investment!! AWESOME!!! Were you ever concerned about over improving? That’s my biggest fear, especially if we buy very low… You know I always imagined buying the house with the crappy wall paper, shag carpet and pink or green tile in the bathrooms a horrible kitchen and then putting in my DREAM kitchen (or as im learning from houzzers, my 99% dream kitchen!). I think that’s something I was struggling with buying new. Even though I got to make a few selections… it wasn’t tailored to me really. So asking my husband in 3 years to redo the layout of the kitchen wasn’t going to fly :D Location location location is so hard for us. We are transplants – with family in the area, but are having a hard time finding the “right” home town. Everywhere we look is “safe” but I really want that neighborhood feel. I moved to Texas because I love saying yes sir, no ma’am, and I want to raise my kids like that. Sweet tea on the porch and waving to your neighbors. I want to make meals for new moms, or help out my grandparents when they need it. I may not have the Texas accent, and as the saying goes “I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as soon as I could!” @jannicone – I’m not deleting Houzz!! Just Realtor, Trulia and Zillow :D It may only last a week, but I need some distance! But I will use it as a resorce to keep an eye on the market and see what really happens during “selling” season. Happy to be sorta liked! @Denita , I should know better. I’m a firm believer that EVERYTHING is negotiable and if you aren’t willing to make any changes (they may not have lost me if they let me go to the design center and let me have 2 extra days – would have cost them nothing) I’m not inclined to play ball. Especially in an industry where negotiation is nearly expected. Looks like I have some more homework and research to do! I may need to find a new realtor. Not that she wasn’t good. I felt like she was doing a good job – but I’ll never know if she asked the builder for things. She did make us feel like her only clients, and she was very attentive and listened to my concerns. But I did get a slight feeling that she was “building” up the home a little more than she should have. We signed a contract for 6 months with her. She led with “if at any time you are done with me, I’ll just rip it up.” Who knows if that will come back to bite me in the butt. But, also thought we were going to end up with the first house and it would all be over. Again, lack of experience on my part. I've done some research on how you should select a buyers agent... and I did kind of do it all wrong.

I built my custom home and design it as well. It was my first and I was very green. My advise is make sure you know what you want and what you are willing to pay for. Learn who your builder is and do not trust too much when they start tell you what you (should) want. I learned the hard way and two months into the build project I had to practically live at the construction site. The builder did not like it much but it was my house and not his so I did not care. We budded heads when he kept defaulting to "his standards". He was good for the big strokes but when it came down to the details he failed. Pick out as many items as you can upfront so you can get a very good idea of cost. We went $50k over budget and that was because the builder's defaulting to "his standards" at the budget discussion table that I was not aware of until we were into the build project. I initially took his advise on some designing, I wish I didn't. When I became the wiser I starting taking things back in my own hands. And I am speaking of selections like cabinetry, windows, flooring tile, countertops doors, decking materials and much more finishes. I had a budget I wasn't suppose to go over and he, the builder, did not make it clear as to what we were going to get within that budget. I do not regret that I went over. And I tell you if I had another $50k laying around I would have used it up.

why do you assume he wouldn't want to be educated and empowered? Personally, I would recommend an economics class in said education. Then point out that specialize and trade means that you create the most value by doing things that you are better at doing, and leaving the things that you are not particularly good at doing to others. Why stop at being your own contractor? You should also design your house, it really can't be that hard right, I mean architects do it all day long and they only need like five years of college and two years of apprenticeship. I mean if you want to be educated don't go half way, go for the works. Or you could spend that time going to your job, enjoying the fruits of the labor that you actually specialize in, and trade said fruits to other people who have others specializations. Which is how value is really created.

@CharlesRossHomes & @Virgil, Unfortunately there is little to hold people in residential construction accountable. There are a plethora of stories of architects designing structures well beyond client's stated or even stretched budgets. This happens when the plans are being developed independently for competitive bidding and when a specified builder is involved. Our first attempt came out 60% over our stated budget that the architect & builder had agreed to and our builder's detailed estimate was then 17% over the stretch number that they'd both asked us if we could do only 6 weeks prior. "I absolutely guarantee you that the contingency number is enough to cover all unexpected costs so you can absolutely rely on this estimate." This was obviously excepting changes that we made. Over and over we were assured that the estimate numbers and contingency were conservative enough that we could count on our builder's estimate. We are not even to to insulation yet and are already 5x that contingency. And that doesn't include $70k in concrete work for a terrace wall that kind of suddenly appeared without notification or discussion to us (and that will require another chunk of $'s for stone). The quality of work has so far been good though we have concerns with what we've seen so far from the insulation contractor. We are trying to be patient. We still believe that the end result will have been worth it. That said, we've no more money left so any cost overruns will mean having to reduce costs elsewhere. When the builder said that they'd now need to do Tyvek + Rainscreen we had to eliminate a couple of light fixtures that my wife really wanted and replace them with less expensive and less appealing fixtures. Hopefully once we move in those lessor-than-we'd-chosen fixtures will disappear in to the background and we'll be happy. But what else is coming? What other lighting fixtures will have to be downgraded because our builder's estimate was so inaccurate? How many bits of furniture will we have to notify our designer that we can no longer afford because of costs our builder didn't anticipate? How much of the landscaping plan will have to be reduced? Will we even be able to use our chosen landscaper or will we have to go with a lessor landscaper and lessor plan? ---------- The residential construction industry in the U.S. is getting an increasingly bad reputation. It's an industry that requires a great bit of trust and that trust seems to increasingly be violated.