I have ants all over my plants as well--especially the cucumbers. They don't seem to be a problem though. At least, I don't have any of the yellowing leaves like you do, so the leaf problem might not be related. I'm a beginner as well though, so someone else might have better advice.

Wow, you people have such an experience with it. I love that plant and while it does spread around a bit it is nowhere close to being the pest you describe! This year was first year I actually dug out few pieces to give away after having it for 3 years. It is not hard to remove where I do not want them either. I also have variegated lyshimachia Alexander which also behaves. Again my garden is informal so I really do not care if they do not form clump or migrate a little, have not noticed them migrating more than couple of feet from original placement. Maybe it is because I grow them in the shade but have not had any problems from them. I have bed of lysimachias, tiger and asiatic lilies,aconitums, macleya cordata, corydalis lutea which reseeds like crazy but very happy and blooms all summer and dwarf yellow and variegated bamboo. Those ones do try to get into walking path grass but not invasive enough due to being not fully cold hardy here. Out of all of the only bamboo is kind of hard to dig up.

Generally if the plant is dead the leaves stay attached to the dead stem/branches. You can scratch the bark with your finger nail and see if the tree is green underneath the bark. I can't grow poinciana here so I don't know much about their care.

hmmm. You may want to tell her that they put oxygen INTO the air. (good luck with that). But, at least you have your mom, and (stepping out on a limb here), be glad she is not actually living with you 24/7! So I guess while she is there, maybe re-adjust the timer to shut off a little earlier (your plants will understand) and bite that proverbial bullet. But I know what you are saying. At that age it can be hard. They become (at least my mom did) demanding and bossy. Nothing pleases them and they may turn into someone you don't know. We didn't know she had dementia, it just slid in there sooo subtly. It was hard. BUT for all her bellyaching I bet she likes them more than she lets on? I hope so. Well, got nothin' more. Good luck!!!! Rosie