Help

11 years ago

Im 26 and i live with my mum my dad died when i was young were have been really close i need some advice ...

I met my first boyfriend when i was 14 and we were crazy for each other my mum like him her fiance was not so keen but then i fell pregant my mum had all the say on what we did and we sorted it out she thought i was to young 15 minth or so till i was 16 at this time we did what she wanted behind my boyfriends back and his family and then her fiance hated him more and then i think my mum had some wispers in her ear basicky we split up it broke my heart i have always lived him since and him and his younger sisters hassled me alot as they want us to work it out i didnt want to seperate but was told to now we met a few weeks ago and have started dating again a good 10 years on my mum now seperated said she was unsure now her and my aunt shout all the time i need to stop it and that they remember the past i have tried to say people change we were kids but nothing works he now has 2 girls young ish under 10 and his family have welcomed me back and have been really nice my mum said she will not stand by me and that i no her thoughts and she will never be in there company at "family events" now my aunt my mums sister is the same what do i do?? Do i keep letting family make my life choices in time will they just accept we are together should they give us a chance as i believe the first time we cannot judge each other on as we were far to young kids ourself am i being mad ? I need advice i really want to give this a shot but will i loose my family will they come round to us??

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Comments (6)

tfitz1006
11 years ago
last modified: 11 years ago
What?? You need to use sentences. It will help people to help you. A few questions: Did you have the baby? Where is this guy's wife? Is he divorced? Are you a self sufficient person with a job? You should probably not still be at home, maybe try to get a little space from your mom and maybe from her drama. Whatever you do, don't move in with him. Not good for the children. Can you give us more info?
toyounghelp
Original Author
11 years ago
No i didnt have the baby . He doesnt have a wife he wasnt married his x partner is now in a new relationship . I am only at home because i lived abroad for a while and now trying to get on my feet . Me and the guy in question both have jobs . Sorry the above comment was not in sentences was over stressed when i wrote it x not sure what other info to give sorry
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tfitz1006
11 years ago
If you were my daughter (and I have two in their 20s) I'd tell you to take it slow with your old flame and don't see his children for a while. You don't want them to get too attached to you, or you to them. Is there a way you could move to your own place or in with another girl so you can get away from mom and auntie? That would probably help you start to think about what you really want.
tete_a_tete
11 years ago
I agree with tfitz.

What were you and your old flame up to back then? Don't answer this aloud, on here, but just ask yourself if you are likely to be influenced into similar behaviour.

I imagine that your mother and aunt want (what they think) is best for you. They may or may not be right. In a way, we all have to make our own mistakes in order to learn but it can be painful and hard on those who love us.

Whatever you do, remember: slow and steady wins the race.

Good luck.
toyounghelp
Original Author
11 years ago
Thank you yes i spoke to the guy in question we agreed we were far to young and silly before and its best to see it its works for us instead of bringing the kids or people into the situation incase they get hurt . I think its hard to have my mum and aunt disagree with me as i usually just do what they say .

Thanks you everyone
tfitz1006
11 years ago
Sounds like a good plan. It's hard to detach from Mom and Auntie but that is part of growing up. I wish you luck! I know it is not easy.