And I do apologize for the error. I couldn't find the edit button for "losing"

Your description is very familiar to me. I've always been high energy, upbeat and cheerful. Now I constantly feel either deep sadness, anxiety or irritability, and I lack the energy I had just last year. From those who have gone before us, I'm learning to relax about these changes; knowing they are part of the journey. It's not easy, and I constantly get down on myself for not being the person I used to be. I think we need to give ourselves the grace and kind permission needed to go through these changes.

It can be depressing that we are no longer our former selves. I think we do almost mourn our lost selves. I have found fighting the changes is much harder than embracing them.

There are mountain of things I can still do that bring me pleasure and coping strategies to help me deal with the things I can't change. Making new positive experiences amongst the negatives makes it alot more bearable and can bring back some happiness.

How can you not mourn? Sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself die in slow motion. My appearance is changing and my back gives me a fit.

I'm not going down without a fight, though. At 53, I am, in many ways, in the best shape of my life. About a year and half ago I lost weight and started working out. I eat seriously healthy, and, the MOST important thing, get enough sleep. Guys think I'm sexy despite my wrinkles.

Several years ago when menopause started I had night sweats that were just terrible. A crazy stressful job made it that much worse. I felt like a raging b*#$%. I asked one of my post-menopausal coworkers if it gets better. She assured me that it did. And it has. (Leaving that job helped, I have to say. That plus hormone replacement. Get it!).

I get sad when I see those wrinkles and can't do everything I want. I'm trying to focus on what I have, though, and what I might yet gain (opportunities, friends, experiences) rather than what I've lost.

Garule and jwgriffin, I just posted at this site but if I had read your posts first I would have just put it here. I completely feel the same way as you. I am 54, and until now I have been very engaged in my life. Of course, I would not be ecstatic all the time, with stresses of work and family life, but I got joy from many things , including reading, traveling, connecting with friends, and doing a very intense form of yoga almost every day. In the past few months I find nothing engaging, and it is really weird. I can barely stand to be around other people, but I don't enjoy being alone either, and my interest in yoga and reading has evaporated. It must be hormonal at some level because I have not had a period in three months. I wish I had answers for you, but really I just wanted you to know that I feel the same way. I do appreciate delicateflowers' input - thank you for that hopeful message.

I'm shocked at the body aches!

Lack of enthusiasm is also worrisome for me.

Has anyone tried medications/supplements/alternative therapies?

At age 58 and 6 years into menopause, I have found that exercise helps me a lot. I sometimes have to really push myself to go to the gym or walk or swim, but once I do I feel so much better physically and mentally.

Hi i girls. I'm kind of new here (I signed up a while back to talk about holly trees that were sick, lol, now I'm here to talk about menopause).

Yes, the zest for life in general can sometimes feel like a complete zero for me too but I try to surround myself with positive things to combat that. My pets, good friends, my gardens, of course, and forcing myself to take more of an interest in my job. I'm a legal secretary. I think it's all a matter of mind over matter because all of the above seems to be working.

I logged on because I was looking for advice/help in dealing with the physical changes. That muffin top that appeared out of nowhere to the point where none of my clothes fit anymore! It's driving me nuts. I've always enjoyed a waistline and now it doesn't exist anymore. In the past six months it's all but disappeared.

I googled menopausal bloating and it appears to be a very real thing that I'm going to tackle with a vengeance. If anyone here has any hints or advice on how to deal with this I'd be grateful. I've never had a weight problem and never had to diet, which I'm very thankful for. I'm 5'3" and was always in the 112-116 area. This extra flab around my waist is really bothering me and when I learned that the body transfers fat from your hips and thighs to your waist I was shocked. I had no idea that was part of this miserable thing called "menopause".

Any advice is welcome.

Feel better ladies. You're not alone and I hope you all find peace in this incredibly difficult journey.

Debbie

Hi, I had the middle age spread lol and had gone up nearly 2 dress sizes. I used my fitness pal app and lost nearly a stone. Monitoring everything that passed my lips and knowing how to balance that intake has helped me keep it off too. I still ate chocolate and drunk wine lol! For me personally I have found Carbs have the biggest effect on my weight, I have 2 days a week where I don't have any potatoes, pasta or rice just 3/4 veg or salad plus meat/fish. If I do have them I measure the portion into a 250ml pot. Plus I don't eat bread everyday I have crackerbreads,thins flatbreads or pitta bread instead. I use fruit to fill me up if I'm hungry. If I'm going to drink wine in the eve then I eat healthy on the day to make up for the extra calories. Surprisingly drinks of any kind even fruit juice are quite high in calories so water or flavoured water are best. Oh and sorry to say it but the dreaded exercise two 30 minute workouts a week plus lots of extra walking. Getting off the bus 1 stop early or walking to that shop that's a little bit further away really helps. It worked for me I'm 2.5 inches smaller on my waist and the comments I've got are amazing. Good luck

Thanks DF. You gave sage advice on the diet. I've never been a big carb eater other than pasta. I've cut down on that (once a week) and bread does nothing for me. I normally eat wraps with chicken or turkey but I'm getting away from eating meat. Not into the cruelty in the industry. It's horrifying.

I'm a big fruit and veggie eater and that's why I don't understand where this fat comes from. They say it's redistributed from the butt and thighs but at 112, there wasn't much there to begin with. It's puzzling, to say the least. I'm also cutting way back on dairy. I'm a HUGE cheese eater and love cheese with a nice crisp apple as a snack. Now it'll be just the apple :(

I'm very active but I'll start doing more walking and see what happens.

When I recall the years when I couldn't wait for my period to stop permanently I could kick myself! lol, if I knew then what I know now I would have enjoyed every day of them!

Definitely sounds like you have it covered but we all lose our way in busy times plus we need less calories as we age, I was not aware of this. I had nearly exterminated dairy as I'm not a fan of dairy and I drink soya milk so I've had to add it back in through low fat variety. I also take Vitamin D maybe you can research the thoughts surrounding that and weight loss. Hopefully you will see results from the changes pretty soon, were so impatient to see them scales move :-)

Glad to hear your feeling better, each person has decide what is best for them. I felt like my life had taken a drastic turn for the worse after my hysterectomyand oopheorectomy when I should of been loving life free from pain and periods. Hrt has given me back my quality of life. I've seen plenty of unhealthy people doing all the wrong things live longer than many healthy people. You have weighed up the risks. Enjoy feeling somewhat normal again :-) and being able to think about something other than VA!