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miacometlady
9 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago
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miacometlady
8 years agochookchook2
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Have you been told, 'If you have to ask...
Comments (44)I'm wondering if he just used a very unfortunate choice of words to express the idea that it takes him time to do an estimate and that's a loss if you're a casual inquirer. Is the same as the "qualifying" process idea, but any craftsman, designer or similar person just has to have some kind of sequence of involvement that they can rely on that saves them time but still attracts new customers. I don't know how this works, of course, since the problem is, with many such efforts, you can't come up with an accurate estimate unless you know most of what you're being asked to do, so if it takes you 30 min, even, to figure that out, and you do that several times daily, and the return is low, you're broke. If someone is well-established in a fairly high end business, he might well charge a fee just to talk and see your wish list and give an estimate, and then that cost will be applied if you buy. For cabinetry, I would wonder if the person could have any kind of brochure or book of work with some example prices, even if price range was kinda broad and there were multiple disclaimers about "prices subject to change". I mean, you might be trying to figure out whether a custom built-in hutch costs $3k or $30 k, or whatever. My point is just that, it would be more straightforward to be told it'll cost me to sit down with the guy and get an estimate, since that is just the business of how he values his time, and that would not be offensive, as I can then make my decision about whether I value it the same amount, and includes the sensible idea that people agree on fees before doing any level of business, compared to the "if you have to ask" approach....See MoreReally want to know - What determines if a questions gets replies
Comments (37)Post I most wanted to respond to but took the high road: "Do you like knobs?" I certainly do but this is a kitchen forum. Beyond that uncharacteristic moment of restraint (which I have always regretted) I try to stick to threads where I can share a bit of what I learned researching the kitchen I worked on (seems a shame not to put that info to some use). Consider myself to be a little TKO but I'm not usually enamoured with whatever materials are defining the high end these days and I am definitely not remotely concerned with what the Jones' are up to. You can do good design at almost any price point. Find it hard to advise people on issues of taste but I have made the occasional stab at it....See MoreIf you want to know about the LG Twin Wash, ask here!
Comments (52)Cerculeanblue I was able to do a large load of towels last night and my door doesn't seem to shake. However I changed the spin speed to medium because I read on here someplace that towels won't be as hard. What spin speed do you use for towels? I really like the new machine a lot. I had them put the hammer arrerstors on when they installed and I have absolutely no banging of the pipes. The machine is very quiet. do you ever use the steam cycle on the dryer? The installer tried to talk me out of hooking it up. He said I had to choose which was more important the side kick washer or the steam dryer water hookup....he didn't see away to hook it up so they would all work. Fortunately I had printed out the instructions from the lg website as I was curious when I was buying and wanted to make sure I had all the parts available. He was thankful and I was glad my OCD paid off!...See MoreTween - how do you say you don't want to be BFFs when someone asks?
Comments (32)Different people use the word "friend" differently, so a lot of this is semantics. I tend to extend "friend" much more broadly than my husband, who has zero people he considers friends. But the lesson is what is necessary to be successful in group situations--manners and civility, which seem to be on the wane in today's society, but I don't think that is a good thing or something I would want my kid to emulate. I have this argument with my husband all the time, knowing what is and is not appropriate to say in group settings. I grew up in a small town, I learned early on to avoid gossip and trash talking anyone, ever. You never know you might be speaking to their cousin or brother-in-law!! :) My grandmother survived in her tiny village in Poland during World War I because she could get along with all sides in the conflict and smuggle resources into her town to keep people alive . . .Hence I grew up with an emphasis of not making enemies although also was taught to have principles and to stand up for them . . . just do so in a way as to not alienate those around me . . . easier said than done . . . Look at all the people who are suffering because of snarky things they have said publicly. I am in the camp that says best to err on the side of civility which is not the same thing as agreeing or supporting things that clash with your values. It's just a matter of knowing how to chose your battles. A good life would not be a constant battle ground, but it is for some people. I would definitely want my child to learn to find some ways to develop inner strength/peace/serenity or whatever the right word is. It's a life long struggle. My Mom's mantra was the "Serenity Prayer." But of course no matter how many times we discussed this concept, it never totally went away because that's life. However, my mother was quite successful professionally because she learned to overlook certain things and just keep moving forward, not get bogged down by drama. As a teacher and person who gives public program and raises money, I had to learn to never, ever speak ill of anyone, it just isn't worth it, life is long, people and circumstances change, one never knows. On the one hand. But on the other hand, if the hitting bothered your daughter and she asked her friend to stop and she didn't, they you daughter has every right to distance herself from that behavior. I would just advise your daughter not to rush to put people in the "friend/not friend" category. Just treat all people with dignity but also you can detach from the drama that troubled people might bring into your life. This is not the strong suit of a teenager, but a good skill to develop. Otherwise, your life could be much more stressful if you don't learn techniques for tamping down interpersonal drama in your life. One has to be able to do what my Mom advised, not make other people's problems your own. You have to be able to be in this world, experience the drama, but not get pulled into it. A good technique is to focus on projects and actions, not personalities. A tough balancing act, one that teenagers have to learn to navigate and it can be tough even for adults. Trust is tricky. There's a whole other dynamic too, being liked vs being a doormat vs being mean and unlike-able. It's just a balancing act we all have to perform . . . Detachment has not been my strong suit, and I've often wondered if it is possible to develop more of it or if it is just in your genes . . . vs passion . . . and then when to hold it and when to play it ???...See Moremiacometlady
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