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miacometlady

9 years ago

last modified: 9 years ago

(Please post what you wish was included in a Design Dilemma post!)

Add pictures of the entire space, not just one wall.

2. Include budget!

3. Rental? First home? Forever home?

4. Quick fix or labor intensive project?

Featured Answer

neotoma

9 years ago

I'm not sure if this has been mentioned specifically (apologies, I have read the whole thread, I promise!), but a big potential problem with responders being overly harsh is that it can put lurking readers off posting. For example there is a lady on one of the other houzz sites who is being really hard on before/after reveals she doesn't like. Not just a critical assessment, but "hate it, you've completely failed", "wow you actually paid for that?!" type stuff. When challenged on it by one of her victims she's pulled the "lol, I just tell it like it is" card. And, as a lurky type person who will have a before / after to post soon, that puts me off. I don't mind criticism - I'm an academic, so having my work taken apart and subject to critical feedback is part and parcel of life - but if I post a reno, it's because I want to talk about it constructively. If you hate the lurid pink mural of my husband's buttocks over the vanity* and think it clashes with the lime green shower tiles** tell me, but tell me why in objective design terms.

*My bathroom doesn't actually contain this***
**Or this
***it's blue... :-p

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Comments (3.8K)

miacometlady
Original Author
9 years ago
A www...chook...feel the same about you! I've been swamped with braiding a rug for the attic... Now I know how colonial women spent their nights by the candle. I also play Boom Beach... Shhhh... Don't tell my task force they think I'm in my 20's...lol... My version of the TV show Younger! So Ive been working on that. Off to Country Curtains with a floor sample for roman shades this am. Scored huge at Marshall's, TJMaxx, and Homegoods for 4 pieces of furniture from the same furniture line! So psyched!
User
9 years ago
If that's a game, I used to play Gardens of Time, before Houzz took over.

can we see your rug?
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Different people use the word "friend" differently, so a lot of this is semantics. I tend to extend "friend" much more broadly than my husband, who has zero people he considers friends. But the lesson is what is necessary to be successful in group situations--manners and civility, which seem to be on the wane in today's society, but I don't think that is a good thing or something I would want my kid to emulate. I have this argument with my husband all the time, knowing what is and is not appropriate to say in group settings. I grew up in a small town, I learned early on to avoid gossip and trash talking anyone, ever. You never know you might be speaking to their cousin or brother-in-law!! :) My grandmother survived in her tiny village in Poland during World War I because she could get along with all sides in the conflict and smuggle resources into her town to keep people alive . . .Hence I grew up with an emphasis of not making enemies although also was taught to have principles and to stand up for them . . . just do so in a way as to not alienate those around me . . . easier said than done . . . Look at all the people who are suffering because of snarky things they have said publicly. I am in the camp that says best to err on the side of civility which is not the same thing as agreeing or supporting things that clash with your values. It's just a matter of knowing how to chose your battles. A good life would not be a constant battle ground, but it is for some people. I would definitely want my child to learn to find some ways to develop inner strength/peace/serenity or whatever the right word is. It's a life long struggle. My Mom's mantra was the "Serenity Prayer." But of course no matter how many times we discussed this concept, it never totally went away because that's life. However, my mother was quite successful professionally because she learned to overlook certain things and just keep moving forward, not get bogged down by drama. As a teacher and person who gives public program and raises money, I had to learn to never, ever speak ill of anyone, it just isn't worth it, life is long, people and circumstances change, one never knows. On the one hand. But on the other hand, if the hitting bothered your daughter and she asked her friend to stop and she didn't, they you daughter has every right to distance herself from that behavior. I would just advise your daughter not to rush to put people in the "friend/not friend" category. Just treat all people with dignity but also you can detach from the drama that troubled people might bring into your life. This is not the strong suit of a teenager, but a good skill to develop. Otherwise, your life could be much more stressful if you don't learn techniques for tamping down interpersonal drama in your life. One has to be able to do what my Mom advised, not make other people's problems your own. You have to be able to be in this world, experience the drama, but not get pulled into it. A good technique is to focus on projects and actions, not personalities. A tough balancing act, one that teenagers have to learn to navigate and it can be tough even for adults. Trust is tricky. There's a whole other dynamic too, being liked vs being a doormat vs being mean and unlike-able. It's just a balancing act we all have to perform . . . Detachment has not been my strong suit, and I've often wondered if it is possible to develop more of it or if it is just in your genes . . . vs passion . . . and then when to hold it and when to play it ???
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miacometlady
Original Author
9 years ago
Will do... When I get back home.
User
8 years ago
Hi, Mia, I'm closing my Houzz account. I wanted to say thank you for having me on your thread, and all the best for the future. The yearbook is getting deleted, you can download it to USB. Love Chook xxoo
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unwantedadvice
8 years ago
@miacometlady, I sincerely apologize for my last remark. It was not my intention when I woke up this morning to disrupt your thread. ~D
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User
8 years ago
And the saga continues......
User
8 years ago
Turning off notifications sounds like a reasonable response.
User
8 years ago
HI whynot, how are you doing these days?
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User
8 years ago
Well, thanks. Getting ready to go black in the LR. :D
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User
8 years ago
Whoa- you are brave!!
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User
8 years ago
It's going to be awesome! Can't wait. Just have to get my dear sons over to get it done. Using Valspar's Deep Kettle Black on the walls.
User
8 years ago
I will have to come to your thread and watch the transformation. Warn everyone;))
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User
8 years ago
LOL..it's a slow one.... just adding things as I find them. I think it's going to be a fun room once it's done...just going to take a while.
User
8 years ago
Also confusing the heck outta everybody 'cause I'm working on my den as well so it gets a bit twisted around.
User
8 years ago
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Nats6
8 years ago
pegjustpeg
8 years ago
And the whole world's watching. I give up. You win. Be happy in all you plan to do in your life. I wish you nothing but the best.
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auntiebuzzybee
8 years ago
Enough!

This is wrong. This is wrong.

Now Chook, PLEASE, calm yourself down!!! Think of what you are saying, Chook! Please. You are lashing out at everyone and I truly believe you are misinterpreting what Rina wrote and what others are trying to say to you here. We are NOT trying to hurt you, anger you, or belittle you. Please stop hurting yourself and your heart by continuing in this combative way. None of us wants to cause you hurt or ill. You must understand that, dear.

Let me tell you, Chook, a finer, more devoted or loyal friend you will never know than Rina. She would never intentionally say anything disparaging about you in this forum or in any other. I realize you are entited to your opinion but mine is that you found the most noble of friends when you found Rina.

I may not know much about the yearbook. I may not know about a lot of stuff. But I know good people. These are my friends and I am deeply troubled that you are talking to them and about them this way.

These have been your friends too. I do not know why you have forgotten this or ever believed otherwise.
dogmom5
8 years ago
Mia

i'm sorry for disrupting your thread. My comment's removed. Carry on ladies!
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User
8 years ago
I have done the same, Mia.
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dogmom5
8 years ago
last modified: 8 years ago

pic by Pepe.com. Public domain.
Rina
8 years ago
Dear Mia and all. My apologies for drawing wrath on to this thread. I have woken to an email from Chook, asking me to delete my comment about Yearbook. Of course I have done so and I'm sorry it upset her and made her feel defamed.

She also thinks, however, that I have got "my friends" to come into the debate on my side, which is not the case. Anyone who commented subsequent to my comment did so on their own account. I did not mention to anyone at all that I had commented or ask anyone to comment in any way whatsoever. I don't want anyone to think that others cannot do what they wnat to of their own free will. In any case, I didn't think there was a debate. I was in bed shortly after commenting.
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Rina
8 years ago
I have just read the comments above. Not a lot the wiser, with the deletions. Never mind. What is, is.
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housemouse5
8 years ago
I have been " lurking" on Houzz for some months, and I just have to say that I am completely gobsmacked by what appears - to an admitted outsider - to be some crazy interpersonal conflicts for no discernibly apparent reason. This is merely a design website, after all. I'm genuinely baffled and would sincerely think twice about posting any substantive question for fear of the thread being hijacked into this inexplicable war, and I wonder if fellow " lurkers" feel similarly. That is all.
Rina
8 years ago
Housemouse and all "lurkers", I apologise to you too. Please stay with Houzz and post questions. This is just one corner of a remarkable place, full of helpfulness. I didn't know I was being offensive, but I should probably just stay clear of the subject I posted on.
Rina
8 years ago
By way of explanation, I was asleep through the row. I'm in S Africa.
bubbasgma
8 years ago
Sending ((hugs)) to you, Rina. I'm so sorry you're going thru all of this. We all know what a beautiful, remarkable woman you are. There's no need to apologize for anything.
karemore55
8 years ago
Totally agree, Rina! We all you know you are one of the classiest, most dignified peeps on Houzz......which you demonstrated once again in your response to this latest blip in the Universe!
tgb1
8 years ago
Rina - you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Period.
Rina
8 years ago
Thank you.
bubbasgma
8 years ago
Ladies..... Luke and Emily have repeatedly urged us to "Use the flag" to report inappropriate comments.

I believe this is one of those times!
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bubbasgma
8 years ago
I decided a long time ago to stay off the threads, chook. I could no longer stand to see all the insane trolling and nonsensical links.
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miacometlady
Original Author
8 years ago
So let's turn the focus on something else...hmmm.. How about me! Smile. Attic construction done. I have the basics for the 'man cave' looking forward to yard sales, consignment stores etc to finish off slowly. I've allowed myself one all of found objects to decorate. The sections,a- NEVER - thought I would own one, isn't really bad. The 4 teen boys, their friends and The Husband love it. Lol the TV is the size of a Buick. Note to self, never let The Husband go to Best Buy alone. Yes the rug in front of the sofa is too small, but that is what I wanted. Just enough to minimize teen damage to floor. Got it at a rug outlet so I won't cry if it gets destroyed. Furniture came from JMaxx, Marshall's and Ho e Goods. The ship ladder goes up to the Nantucket roof walk. It was original, to attic. All I did was have it sanded and poly. The beams are structural beams that I had wrapped in kitty line and stained. They really look great. Hope this post finds you well.
miacometlady
Original Author
8 years ago
This is a drawer from a 1875 cabinet that once held letters for a printing press. $3. It's been in our country since practically the beginning and I rescued it for three dollars... Boggles the mind. Last pic the portal to the roof!
miacometlady
Original Author
8 years ago
Went with White Dove on the walls, White Dove cut in half for ceiling and Chantilly Lace on trim. I went with simple 1by 8 for baseboards. The builder wanted a small oval wood disc for the railing to attach to- nope. I had him cut a newel post in half. The bench seat with Shaker panels hides duct work we could not move. The closet doors hold the HVAC. The smaller double door to the left of furnace is a cubby to hold things that I carved out.
miacometlady
Original Author
8 years ago
The floors, a pre finished maple pine are really pretty. I spent three visits to wood floor place- easy two hours each time trying to sort out floors. Lol.
miacometlady
Original Author
8 years ago
The floors are darker, faded out in photo.
mefor
8 years ago
Simple, warm and welcoming. It's really lovely
miacometlady thanked mefor
tgb1
8 years ago
Looks fabulous Mia!
miacometlady thanked tgb1
bubbasgma
8 years ago
Beautiful, Mia!!! Thanks for sharing your photos with us!
miacometlady thanked bubbasgma
miacometlady
Original Author
8 years ago
I still can not believe that I have a leather sectional in my house - the size of a Buick! But it is not too horrible. The stitching is rather nice - gives it a rustic farmhouse feel - believe it or not!
mefor
8 years ago
You made it look as if it belongs there, how many does it seat?
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miacometlady thanked mefor
jhmarie
8 years ago
Don't know how I missed your post Mia. This is lovely!
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miacometlady thanked jhmarie
Rina
8 years ago
So good to see you back, Mia. That's a wonderful room. My favourite things are the rug and the printer's tray, but of course the wonder is how it all works so effortlessly together. Ja, I know, effortlessly ha!
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miacometlady thanked Rina
miacometlady
Original Author
8 years ago
Amount of people sitting there depends on if it is all boy or girl/boy. They seem to squeeze more when it is girl/boy! Although I did go up once, quietly, and four of the boys were sitting on a bench playing on the PS4. A friend and his girl friend (behind the boys on the sectional) were laying on the couch. Boy! Can teens move fast! He turned beet red - I've known him all his life - and the guys all just cracked up! Ignoring the situation, I asked if they wanted me to order pizza. Sometimes I can't believe what happens in this house! Next post... how I found a girl's thong when I got back from key West!
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mefor
8 years ago
Ha! Some things never change!!
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bubbasgma
8 years ago
OMG, Mia! Hahahahaha....I dunno if we wanna hear the story of your Key West return home!!
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User
8 years ago
LOL...bubbas...then I'm sure you wouldn't want to hear of the unclothed girl on the steps outside my DD's apartment that her DH found one morning as he left to go to work. Apparently, there was quite a party downstairs the night before. :D
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HU-971531898
4 years ago
Would love some help, not sure how to post a question but found this thread.
We are changing the sofa and window treatment for this room.
Trying to decide what type of window treatment will look best. I love shutters but am not keen on the idea of not having the space to physically open them.
Thanks In advance.
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Nancy Walton
4 years ago
You need to start your own post, as this is a four-year-old post. Most people have turned off notifications on this post, so it most probably wouldn't get seen. Under "Get Ideas" go to the last topic "Discussions" where you will find "Design Dilemmas." At the top of the page, click on the "Start a Discussion," and it will bring up a place for you to enter your information.