That's why people go to museums...to enjoy beautiful things they can't and maybe wouldn't want to own, but enjoy the visual feast they present.

I totally understand that! Same thing happens to me. Every time I mention that I think something is pretty, I have to qualify my comment to make it clear that I don't want my DH to buy it. Also, my mother used to be much the same. I finally learned to just not say anything to her. Too bad.

Annie - Along those same lines is probably why I like going to furniture consignment stores and antique stores. We're a little short on museums/art galleries where I live

cyn427 - I'm glad I'm not alone in this, :)

Fun2BHere - I was in Pier 1 last week with my mom looking for a tray and 5 minutes in the store she told me she would wait outside for me. I glanced at the Easter display longingly as I walked by it.

I get it too BL. I am a very visual person and need to be surrounded by pretty things but if I purchased everything I thought beautiful I would need a much bigger home.

Yes, HK...... like the size of Versailles!

so true, admiring something pretty and wanting to own it are 2 different things.

I sometimes enjoy an hour or two at the mall, specially at this time of the year when the spring/summer stuff is starting to show up.

And, if you're like me, you spend some time "trying it on"....imagining a piece in a room, or even imagining a whole room done in those colors. Heck, yesterday we saw American Sniper (very moving) and I found myself noticing some of the islamic patterns on walls and such and thinking, hmmmm.

YES! I find I try to think of someone else who would appreciate the item(s), then realize all my friends are in the same position ---adding more to their homes would require an addition!

Annie - THAT is exactly what I find myself doing...to the point I can lose the thread of the movie for awhile!

Hi - I call it 'eye candy' & yes, of COURSE we can look & enjoy w/o acquiring. Does anybody else besides me still use the terms 'window shopping' or 'browsing', I wonder? Thinking the responses from friends, family show how conditioned they may be to the idea that we must buy everything we like. I would just laugh it off & say, " Nope, just window shopping." & leave it @ that...

When I was much younger, I remember sitting in family member's bath fixture showroom and admiring a unique art glass sink. When I said it was pretty and he told me I'd have to make a lot of money to be able to buy it, sort of with the implication that I'd never be able to afford it. It made such a deep impression on me because it was the first time someone assumed I wanted to own something simply because I admired it.

Since then, I've heard the same sort of thing over and over, both in an are-we-buying-that, and in a you-don't-need/can't afford-that, sort of way. I think appreciation of beauty, without the desire to possess it, comes more easily for artistic people. For others, it's seems a hard concept to wrap their heads around.

Totally get it. I often do this and it keeps my bank account healthy. Even if I would love to own some of the items I stop and linger over, just imagining them in my home is enough to help me make the decision whether to buy or not. Yes, often it is just the appreciation of an item of beauty, art, or uniqueness of the item. And sometimes I see things that remind me of another person, especially if it would be a great gift.

I know exactly what you mean. AND I find myself now trying to better clarify if it's pretty and I don't need it or pretty and/or not my taste. I received a gift for Christmas of something I supposedly said was pretty. Well, I don't even remember the item. They kept going on before I opened it, and I was shocked and frantically trying hard to place it. It IS pretty, but not my taste at all. I felt like an idiot and stumbled while trying hard to recover... from the obvious. :(

It also wasn't inexpensive. *cringes*

Same thing when I go in a shoe store and try on platforms with 7" heels...just want to see if I can walk in them...have absolutely no intention of buying them, ever...I've already broken both ankles, thank you.

Totally get this....my DH usually says "get it" if it's clothing, because I don't like shopping for clothes. BUT, if it's home accessories or furniture, he usually says..."we don't need it". I love wandering around looking at lovely things with a like-minded friend who totally gets it!! The other funny thing is that my DH loves clothes shopping for himself...cracks me up. I just need a few things that I like, easy to wear & care for, w/o rips or stains & I'm good to go. You should see our closet...you would totally laugh because I have this small section & his things fill up the rest. Of course, he is still working, so needs dress shirts, ties, etc., and I'm not. Maybe I'm turning in to a stay-at-home slob in a house with pretty things! LOL

Holly-kay - Yes, I like to have pretty things around me as well, I don't have to live in a Pier 1, much too much for me, but having a couple of pretty things just helps add something to my surroundings.

mitchdesj - exactly, admiring and owning are definitely two different things. If I owned everything I admired I'd be broke and need a bigger house.

Annie and javachik - If I see something that is pretty and has spectacular form or texture that I want to touch I will stand there and envision it in my house. I still don't want to buy it but I just want to wrap myself up in that idea.

carolb - yes, it is eyecandy. Eye Candy for my soul!

prettybluehouse - I do wonder why others can't wrap their heads around this idea. However, I do spend a lot of time on the Home Decorating Forum! But why can't beauty just be an idea without having to own it.

outsideplaying and sheeshareell - I am so glad that others get what I mean. It is simply the ability to appreciate the beauty of something, the lines, the artistry, the feeling that it invokes.

I've been thinking about this for quite some time and was actually wondering if there was something wrong with the idea of seeing something and finding it pretty however one defines that. You have all helped me to know that there isn't anything wrong with that ( there might actually be a little bit of enabling in this), and you have also helped by further defining the concept for me.

Annie - I love purses and colourful scarves and will often try them on. It doesn't help that they are often placed close together. My purses tend to play off the colours in my scarves.

lizzie_grow :"Maybe I'm turning in to a stay-at-home slob in a house with pretty things! Mmmm

I thinks that's why I like pretty scarves that match my purses - prevents me from being too much of a slob!

I hardly ever buy new things. I'm just not that impressed with what's available today, and I don't need a lot of stuff to make me happy. I remember being at an art fair several years ago with my shopaholic sister and coming across pottery we both loved. We said it "talked to us". I have several pieces of it, mostly from her, but I can't say that anything has really talked to me in the years since. A lot of things talk to her. Maybe I don't know how to listen.

love this convo

my problem is, i see something i love, then try to imagine it my home somewhere, cant picture it anywhere or when i would use......then i get home, think about and figure out where and when...then i'm so mad at myself...i need to think faster on my feet!!!

I prowl around HG to get my fill of eye candy...its my therapy/relaxtion/escape.. I never get a cart, if i can't carry, i'm not buying...if i had a cart, oh brother......

i also shop thrift stores, if u make a mistake, doesn't cost u much....and u never know what u will find, just scored Cooking Light cookbook and a Food and Wine cookbook for $1 each....Yay!!

I look at Real Estate almost every day, I hope I never have to buy another house.

I look at the availability of certain vintage cars and follow their prices at least several times a month. I owned one car for two years and sold it 23 years ago and have been without since.

I don't think appreciating things and even *wanting them has much to do with actually getting them or having them.

I totally agree. I had an art teacher who said we should constantly be stocking the visual library in our minds, exposing ourselves and absorbing Wonderful Things as much as possible. I think appreciating the line of a chair or a blend of colors just makes life richer. I don't have to own it to enjoy seeing it. The experience of recognizing something good is a gift in itself!

I did all that when I was younger. Now that I'm older, I am much more picky and find myself leaving stores empty-handed now. I'm afraid to commit-afraid I might get sick of looking at it-and then, is it worth the trouble of returning it-so I talk myself out of it LOL!

I've always been a shopper but I've finally reached the point in my home (and my clothing) that I really don't need anything. Well, I'd like to redecorate the foyer, maybe spruce up the guest bedrooms & gut the master bath, but I don't need more "stuff." So, I have been seeing pretty things, admiring them & not buying. It's a little strange but I like the feeling. I do think I'm going to have to buy the bunny plates.

Its great to know that you admire beautiful things and have a liking towards masterpieces. Yes, I have understood what you wanted to convey. Every gorgeous looking accessory is not meant to buy. Possibly this is what was conveyed by her.

I'm glad you posted this. I don't have your Mom situation but I do think I might be reacting to my daughter in the way your husband reacts when you comment on liking something. They are a young family with a new household, a baby & a budget. She admires something, I ask if she wants me to buy it. She graciously says no but sometimes gets exasperated. I get it now. I got it before but not enough to change my behavior.

may_flowers and sprtphntc - I seldom buy either. I have been buying and looking at a few things lately. Both my mother and my MIL downsized this year and I got a few small pottery pieces from each of them. I wanted to display them but none of them really went together and so I was looking for other pieces to set them off so I was prowling consignment stores and antique stores. So much of it was pretty but not suitable, but when a piece "spoke" to me and I thought "yes, you will set off and add to my enjoyment of my great-grandmothers water pitcher", that's when I bought something.

palimpset - exactly. I agree with you. I too prowl real estate listings (used to frighten my DH) but I don't want a new house. Appreciating things does not mean having to own them.

mudhouse - oh I really like that imagery of "stocking the visual library in our minds". I'm going to use that line on my DH the next time a situation arises. Then watch him try to figure what I'm saying - he won't get it, poor guy.

romy718 - Perhaps like your daughter, I just want to convey my joy in seeing something that I think is, for me, pretty. I don't expect the person that I'm with to agree with me because I do know that we all have different tastes and different definitions as to what is visually pleasing. I guess I just want them to see my joy in seeing something that I find to be pretty and I want to share that - not to buy but just to stop, take a minute and enjoy looking..

Oh, and to be clear that doesn't actually happen all that often.

And kevinmark - you're right ,not every gorgeous accessory is meant to buy. I suspect that if one did that the joy of owning pretty things that one found joy in would somehow be diminished over time. For me anyway.

This reminds me of someone I knew that could never look at anything and not want it and be bitter if she didn't get it. She said "I never see an airplane that I don't wish I was on it, I never drive by a restaurant that I don't wish I could be eating at." The issue was her attitude. She could not look or talk about anything without wanting it herself. She had a good life and did go on a lot of trips and did eat at a lot of restaurants, have a nice house, etc. but it was never enough. She could not just find things to be pretty and enjoy looking or talking about them. She was a very bitter, unhappy person. Thankfully I didn't have to deal with her much.

I also enjoy reading RE listings, just to look and enjoy.

I think the idea of enjoying pretty things was lost when women stopped "window shopping".
Which is what I call it when I shop online, when I don't really want something, I just want to see what's out there. It's a different kind of window, yet it's still the same.

I subscribe to the Vivienne Files, saw this post and was reminded of this thread.

Thanks for posting that column. Part of her discussion also involved the want vs need conundrum which for me is an off-shoot of what I was thinking about.

I'm just glad that there are others who do feel as I do and understand the idea of finding joy in something pretty without then having to own it.

Just because something makes your heart sing doesn't necessarily mean you need/want it, but the emotional feast for the eyes is sometimes overwheling~GO WITH IT. Enjoy the journey and a part of life many can't relate to.

I also want to add, when I was younger it was want, want, WANT, and with 5 little mouths to feed in 14 years, I probably left a trail of drool from Illinois to, Ca. Now that i'm older, and life has blessed me with the means *to* afford more, i'm quite content with what I have. The best in life is the intangibles.