I think im actually watering LESS than enough ... once a month, in hot southern california sun ... i let them go down to a natural look because i think they look better that way... im just confused about this

These cactus need much more sun - you should slowly (over two weeks) acclimate them to much more. They're also in unsuitable soil (we won't get into the intricacies of that here) - suffice it to say that if you cut that soil with 50% perlite, repot them in the amended mix, wait a few days and then give them a light watering, warmth, and increasing amounts of sunlight over a fortnight or so, your plant will start to grow better. You're better off slicing the abnormal upper third of those plants (they might be Mammillarias) with a sharp, clean knife and letting the cut ends heal. I don't do moon cactus (in fact, my suggestion is to never have them, and yet I'm foolish to think so...), but it sounds as if it's dead / dying (squishy is never good in C&S, but sometimes plants can be salvaged). Inadequate light, improper watering (combined with the unsuitable soil) - all these things contributed to El Squishy. Plus you're growing inside (almost all cacti want to grow outside, at least when the weather's cooperative) - that's a whole litany of future doom for these plants of ours. Winter's around the corner, so if you live in a cold area you'll have to keep these inside. The more light the better, and you'll want to lessen watering to a minimum (they generally don't grow much in winter).

My name isn’t Justin and I don’t work for Costa Farms, but I will try to help you Camille:). Your cactus is Mammillaria vetula subs. gracilis cv. Arizona Snowcap, but if you‘re ever looking for more info you can easily type in Mammillaria ‘Arizona Snowcap’ instead of the long name I gave you in green, which is a link that will give you info on your cactus. Idk if you know this, but the new spines won’t be blue or yellow, they will be white. This cactus is a slowww grower. I personally think the first thing with any plant growing is knowing what plant you have and a little bit about the plant. If these were mine I would unpot, gently remove as much of the old soil off the roots as you can , and repot in a better faster draining mix like a perlite and or pumice mixed with cheap cactus soil. The pots look like the right size, if they’re root bound you can go up one pot size. After repotting cactus I wait about a week or two and then water them. It’s the start of the growin season so now is a great time to do this. If you live on the Northern Hemisphere of course. During the winter this cactus should be kept totally dry. I know that may sound nuts, but it’s normal when growing cactus. Many of my cactus got their first drink of water since late October a few days ago. Like my Mammillaria duwei Before After Any pieces that have fallen off set on top of the mix and they’ll root eventually. It could take months for this process so be patient and leave them be. Any rootless pieces should be kept in bright filtered sun, especially when it starts to get hot because the rootless little pieces will fry. Lastly, during the growing season your cactus may need to more sun than what’s being provided, so slowly acclimating it to more sun is probably in its future.

Don't beat yourself up to bad these don't last too long. They're two cactuses grafted together. The top can't live without the bottom due to lack of chlorophyll. The bottom can last without the top though. I would just throw away the two that are rotten. Unless you want to graft to another cactus, but wouldn't waste your time. These are easy to find. The one that's still kickin needs the soil needs to be amended. Your mix looks very organic which is never good for succulents long term. So try to get your paws on some perlite or pumice. I'm assuming living in beautiful Vermont pumice will be hard to find. So perlite will do fine. A mixture of half rinsed strained perlite combined with half cactus mix. When repotting get rid of all the old soil off the roots, and no water for a week after repotting. I would water as soon as the mix dries out. The bottom is a Hylocereus so these are more of a tropical type cactus. They can and like a little more moisture than other cactus that come from dry deserts. Don't confuse this with them wanting to be in a soggy mess. I don't mean this to offend, but the two above probably died from being in a soggy mess;). Think more along the lines of keeping them in a fast draining mix. Like the 50/50 mix I gave. So the roots can be washed with water a little more, but drains at the same time;). Along with good air circulation. Does that make sense? Give as much light as possible. Goodluck;).