1/2 carat sounds lovely, that's what mine was (until our tenth anniversary).

My engagement ring was also my great-grandmother's. I was named after her. I told Eric years before we even talked about getting married that that was the ring I wanted. Not even sure the carets- it was originally purchased during the depression so I am guessing it isn't more than 1/2 to 1 caret. We had to have the prongs and the band reinforced because it had been a good 75 years since it was purchased.

Can he talk to her closest friends to see what she likes or can you/he keep an eye out for the jewelry she already wears. might give an idea to the cut or size she likes. Since he is thinking about giving a ring from your family, think about what would happen to the ring if things didn't work out. What is she refused to return it (not a fun thing to think about but you have to). Not sure if the "giving back of the ring" is still standard practice.

Good luck to him and keep us posted.
janie

Good luck thoughts, that is all I can add.

Have him read this:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/198202/diamond

Here is a link that might be useful: Article

To put things in perspective - the ring isn't really all that important. The marriage is.

This is a big decision, because, assuming they do get married, she will always wear this ring.

He should get the prettiest ring he can afford, in a style she likes, because they will look at it every day of their married lives.

My husband asked me to marry him first. After I said yes we went ring shopping together and decided on something I liked that he could afford. That worked for us.

Yes, the marriage is the most important part.

I have my MIL's 1 carat diamond in my engagement ring. She was deceased before I met DH. He offered it, and we selected a setting together (no way I could have worn her ring - she was a tiny woman).

My 25th anniversary is Jan. 1st. I haven't been able to wear my rings for 6 years, due to a hand injury. I do plan to offer the diamond to my son (when and if) for his wife-to-be, but only if I feel pretty confident that the marriage will last.

I do know if I give up the diamond to my son, and he gives it to his girlfriend, it's gone. It's a gift. But they will have to buy a new setting and wedding bands, etc. I'd never give up the actual rings!

I'm not too enthused about diamonds.

de Beers have been effective promters of the product over which they exercise heavy control, for several generations.

Many diamonds used to come from the illicit sites in Africa, traded by some of the rebel army guys that recruit child soldiers, often by forcing them to kill one or other of their parents: the ones that have been called, "blood diamonds".

The diamond trade claims to have made a fairly substantial effort to refuse to accept them into the legitimate stream, but some may be showing up still.

Some regular mining companies have not treated their workers or the environment well.

A few African leaders have tried not to play ball with the western mining agencies, have sought to bring about fair returns for their people ... and some have paid a heavy price.

Exploitation didn't stop with the robber barons of earlier centuries, it appears.

Wouldn't we be wiser to treat people in the Third World, many of whom claim that, though political colonialism may be gone, that economic colonialism is alive and well, fairly? Isn't such in our long-term best interest?

Sometimes seeds of short-term gain ... produce a harvest of long-term pain.

ole joyful

I think a half-carat diamond would be grand if a diamond is what she wants. He could also add other stones to the diamond.

My engagement ring is a one-third carat diamond that belonged to my MIL. She gave to the stone to Wes once he decided to propose. We picked out the setting for it. It isn't huge; but it looks very nice and sparkles all over the place.

I did have a 1/2 carat diamond that I had bought for myself years ago, but I recently traded it to the jeweler to purchase the tsavorite stones and gold mounting for my niece's special "birthday ring." She didn't want her birthstone, but wanted a "green" stone.

I love tsavorite; it sparkles and is much more beautiful than most emeralds you can purchase now. She picked the color and shape of the stones, and the mounting.

Tsavorite would make a wonderful engagement ring stone, if your future DIL didn't have her heart set on a diamond.

My 1/3 carat engagement ring. The wedding band is 6mm wide.

Niece's three-stone tsavorte ring. 1/2 carat emerald-cut center stone with two 1/4 carat emerald -ut side stones. It's so hard for me to get good close-ups with my little camera.

{{!gwi}}

The color of the top photo is more true-to-life.

{{!gwi}}

Here's a one-carat tsavorite...

I sooooooooo agree with joyfulguy......I watched the show a couple of years ago how diamonds are acquired in Africa....decided right then and there, after seeing the "Amputee Camp", I'd never allow anyone to buy me a diamond ever again. Young people dont think about such things, but as you get older, those things hit home....once you have kids and grands
I am all for "repurposing" diamonds that we already own!

My DD just went through the process. Her guy was pushing for diamonds because they are "traditional" in these modern times. DD was pretty adamant about preferring a Sapphire. So after a lot of debate, a lot of her second guessing herself and a bunch of consultation with his mom he presented her with a half carat Sapphire center stone and little quarter caret diamonds on each side on Xmas Eve and on bended knee.

To get to there they looked at a lot of rings together during the past year and he has gifted her with I think something like 6 different "Sapphire" earring so he would know the color she preferred.

The "surprise " was in the timing and his taking so much care to get what he knew would please her.

When DH and I got married we chose my set together. I was teeny tiny at the time and most sets looked silly on me. I ended up with white gold Marquise cut interlocking set and DH opted for a plain gold band.

There are many ways to surprise someone today but I agree with the others who a ring that will be worn for a lifetime should have some input from the bride.

If he wants to use his grandmother's diamond he should explore what setting his future bride would like.

I was always disappointed in my rings as my now husband and his Mother picked them out.

Sue

I didn't have any particular desire for an engagement ring, but my wedding ring was a gorgeous circle of diamonds. I don't recommend this, as it was rather impractical for washing dishes, etc. I quickly acquired a gold band after that.

My DS got engaged this year, and used his great-grandmother's engagement diamond, which he had reset. It's lovely, and his fiancee is very happy with it. One of her friends said to her, "He must really love you if he gave you his great-grandmother's diamond!"

We were so broke when we got engaged, I never had an engagement ring. We spent tons on our wedding bands, we actually went to a jeweler in the Diamond District in New York City and designed our own rings. For our fifth anniversary,DH gave me a one-carat-diamond ring in white gold. I can't wear it any more because my fingers have gotten too fat/arthritic.

good luck Sheila! I wonder if we can ever afford to get married! LOL My DH is still wondering.
You son knows his girlfriend, maybe she would like him to pick out the setting, maybe she would like to help. I think now adays the woman likes input. but who knows.
My engagement ring was an aquamarine with a couple of tiny diamonds. Later, I picked out a setting and included my Mom's diamond and my grandma's . I love it. My nuckles are too big now for my original band, so I think it's time to get another, just a plain band to wear with the ring with stones. A lot of peeps would never change their wedding rings, a lot of peeps do. It's not the ring itself but what it represents.
best wishes to your son!

This is such a sweet story, Sheila. How lucky your son is to have loving, supportive parents. And he's smart to do his homework too!

My first thought is that it really is fun to pick out the engagement ring together, so maybe he should ask her and then they can get the ring. If he chooses to use the family diamond, they should take it to a jeweler who can design a ring, maybe adding some small diamonds around it to give it more "look."

Or if he's determined to surprise her, have him take the diamond to a jeweler to see what can be done, and also look around at other rings to price compare and see what he likes.

This is so exciting, and you must be very happy that things are moving, even tho' slowly!

You can read the story of my engagement ring on pattico's post, "Another bad day for my daughter".

My ring is plat. with a pear cut diamond a little over a carat, with flanking baguettes. We had the wedding band joined to the engagement ring, with two more baguettes, so it's all one piece. I've always worn it every day.

My son proposed to his girlfriend last week. During the past year or so, they had window shopped for rings and thankfully he made a mental note of it so he knew what she liked and didn't like. She had no idea he was proposing, so that made it even more special.

My DH picked out my engagement ring and it was totally not my taste. I thought I had given him plenty of hints as to what I wanted, but I guess he wasn't listening. 29 years later and he's still not listening LOL.

The great-grandmother's stone sounds like a lovely idea. 1/2 carat is certainly a nice-size diamond. I would think most women would appreciate getting something with that sort of sentimental value. Best wishes to them!

After reading all these posts,it's apparent a traditional diamond engagement ring is not the most important thing. Another pretty stone, in a nice setting, or a small diamond. My own mother wears her wedding ring tht's actually got small diamonds all around and set in platinum. She never had an engagement ring. And she's been a widow for 12 years.

Jannie- you can have your ring reset with a special band for arthritic fingers. I think it's called an arthritic shank. There are several different ones on the market- Superfit, Ringer mate etc. You can google 'arthritic shank' and read about them or ask your jeweler.

Here is a link that might be useful: finger mate