Good luck !

Moonie this is how I feel about giving notice~~~would you get much notice before they laid you off???

I would only maybe give one weeks notice and only if it made you feel better. I would not stay til they found someone else and I would not stay to train them.

Do what works for you :) The company sure would.

glenda - thank you! :)

lunchlady - Do what works for you
That's where I'm leaning, yet it seems rather self-serving.

Just wallowing in uncertainty at the moment, but has anyone ever had a job where they never wanted to miss a day? That's the job I -used- to have. In 6 years I have only called in sick 4 days... 3 days when I had the flu and one other time. But, over the last couple of months there were many times I wanted to call in, but didn't.

It sounds like you're doing the right thing. Nobody likes to leave a job without giving notice, but for many reasons people do.
Don't worry yourself too much over this, from your posts it sounds like it was coming and you certainly gave it your best try!

I'd say you put too much of yourself into the job to give her the opportunity to blackball you if you want a job elsewhere at some point. She can't say bad things, but there are many ways she can let a potential employer know not to hire you. Up and quitting gives her ammunition. I suggest giving her notice. At least try to stay it out that long for the time being. She'll be difficult as you expect. Then, don't go back if it becomes unbearable. Actually, I wouldn't go back at the first sign, but at least you will have tried.

I'm awfully sorry this job you loved has come to an end. I mentioned in your other thread that a place takes on the spirit of its leadership. That YOU want to leave now, despite your best efforts at giving the transition an honest chance, says a lot about that female. But you already knew that. My very best to you, and try not to feel bad.

nodakgal - yes, I did give it my best, I do believe. Thank you! :)

Bestlawn - I won't be needing a reference from her as more than likely I will not be working. If I were to seek employment, I would use the former owner as a reference So, this is the least of my worries.
As this is a very active forum, I'm a bit surprised you even remember my last thread concerning this subject. Thanks for the support!

Are you the one who even had to train her?

If so, I think I suggested not sharing all your info with her...calling it job security. I hope you held back some things she'll need, given the circumstances.

If you have a reference sewed up with the former owner, I'd likely not go back myself.

Would you have paid vacation time you could collect on if you stuck it out for the remainder of the year? Have you worked and earned some vacation time that is due you? If so, and you don't give 2 weeks notice, that time will most likely be denied/lost.

Best of luck to you!

Sue

Good luck to you. Myself, i probably wouldnt give her notice....just like lunchlady stated would they give you notice if you was to be fired, or layed off...no they wouldnt. Sometimes when a person gives notice, the boss sometimes gets revenge on ya too, ive had a boss like that, where they litterly made my life miserable that 2 weeks.
So do what you feel in your heart. ((((((hugs))))))

I'm considering doing something similar - so right now you're my HERO!

Good luck to you. If you feel such a sense of relief - then you know you have made the right decision. If you don't need her as a reference, I wouldn't bother going back. Do you have all your personal items? If you don't, maybe you go back on Monday, discretely pack your things and then give notice. Some employers will walk you out on the spot.

Just my 2 cents. Good luck and I'm sure you'll be much happier.

Hi - I don't post often, but do read a lot. In my opinion and experience, not giving a notice (normally 2 weeks) is unthinkable. It's poor practice and rude.

Whether or not they'd be as considerate if they were to fire you or lay you off, 3 things: 1) Most often a company will give you some sort of severance pay (could be 1 or 2 weeks, could be more, depending upon many things). So, there's consideration there. 2) Even if your company wouldn't, do you want to sink to that level? Wouldn't you want to be the mature professional? 3) Many companies will "walk you" when you give a notice, anyway, meaning that they tell you to leave that day (depending upon your job).

I have total empathy for you as I've been in unbearable job situations. Whatever you decide to do regarding a notice, I think you're wonderful for knowing that it's time to move on. Good for you - go and find a happier situation!

Suzieque

I would give a notice but if it got too rough then I would go to the owner and tell them why you are unable to work it. I too have a difficult boss. She is retiring in October 08 so I am hanging in there. I've seen what she does to people who give notice. It is just enough to make the person feel uncomfortable but if anything is said about it she denies it saying she didn't mean it that way. She has this down to an art form. She has thrown an arm full of note pads at me and grabbed me by the arm and jerked me around before. I had no witnesses so it would be my word against hers. I feel your pain and am glad you are getting out.

moonie,

I had your job!!! :-)

I went to work in 2002 as a technical writer for a local software development company. I loved that job... I loved my bosss... I loved being part of their team... I loved working to make deadlines... I was paid a very, very, very nice salary... I could wear blue jeans to work... I even dressed up at Halloween for the first time in decades because that company was so into Halloween. It was truly a dream job!

Anyway, after three years, some "suits" came up from Dallas and bought the company. The first week, they fired my boss's boss, who had been at the core of making our business successful, then a few people started leaving. I just dreaded going to work each day, but I endured it for a few months.

I woke up one morning and told DH, "I'm going to quit my job." He was shocked, but it's the BEST move I ever made!! People where I used to work continued to find the EXIT door, either voluntarily or otherwise. It was very sad.

Sorry for my rambling. Yes, I "worked" my last two weeks but it was the loooooongest two weeks of my life. Something happens mentally to you and your coworkers when you know your days are numbered in that kind of situation. Mourn the loss of a job you loved, but please continue recognize that you made this decisions for YOU!

I wish you all the best ~

I would give notice. In my opinion it's a matter of self respect.

No matter how lousy I felt about a job or a bad manager (and I've had a few), I couldn't walk away from my job without tieing up the last loose end in a professional manner.

I wouldn't be doing it for the manager, I'd be doing it for myself, but that's just me.

Good luck in your new endeavors :)

guess i'm old school! my dad said you NEVER BURN BRIDGES, when leaving a company...you should always try and leave, if possible, on a good note.

you might very well have to depend on that very same person for a reference for the next job...

i'd give a weeks notice/take any vacation time coming for a second week, etc...work the system! or, if you offered for a salery, to train the next person...

I'm sorry Moonie, I hope you resolve things in a manner you are happy with. Maybe give two week notice then take your last two weeks vacation ;0)

My next comment is for Kathy813, Holy Cow!! I would have slapped the fire (far here in Texas) out of her and threatened her life - if she'd grabbed me and thrown stuff at me she wouldn't have had witnesses either. At the very least you should have called the cops on her butt she just committed physical abuse to you and you do NOT have to take that.

If that happens again look her dead in the eyes and tell her you will let her husband/spouse/so know what jail she'll be sitting in so they can come get her if they choose to, then call the police ;0)

Sorry to hear things haven't smoothed out, I know in your previous posts you were pretty upset and frustrated with how things were going at the work place.
Do you happen to have any unused holidays? If you do, you could give notice and then tell them that you'll be using your holidays so today, tomorrow or however it works out will be your last day....
Suzan J

Moonie,

I'm not sure personal experiences carry much weight in a case like this, but that is for you to decide.

I was working for a Family Counseling Service, part time because that was all they needed. I learned a lot about bookkeeping, taxes, grants, and other things that were new to me. I enjoyed that and the every day duties. I had been there 8 years when one day the Director got on a tear and accused me of not being truthful about a report that couldn't be located. There were clients in the office and I was humiliated. I debated with myself for 2-3 days, and knew I could not stay any longer.

I wrote a short letter, tendering my resignation, with two weeks notice, and stating my reason (humiliation) and left it on his desk where he would find it when he came in.

He was "surprised", because he didn't see it the way I did.

I know that the "do to others" these days has often become "before they do it to you", but I think there is more to this than that.

We never know what will happen in the future of course. Someday you may need to go back to work, and even a reference from her could be important.

Do what is right, not just what is right at the moment to make you feel vindicated.

Give a notice, one week or two, but I do suggest you give it in writing and so that she can read it and digest it before she talks with you about it. Who knows? She might see things differently.

I left my job with the most important thing: with my head held high AND my self-respect.

Sue

Why is it when someone takes over a business that they make all these changes? The business obviously worked well in it's present state, or it wouldn't have been successful enough for them to want to buy it or take it over. Anyway...

I would probably just walk too. Even though in my gut I knew it was wrong. Under your circumstances, I would love the satisfaction of being able to tell her exactly why I was leaving. Not that it would probably make a difference to her...but for me, it would be a type of closure.

Good luck to you! Hang in there. (((Hugs)))

I would give two weeks notice.
Good luck!

CYA. That being said, give 2 weeks notice. It's the right, correct, proper, obligatory, honorable, and professional thing to do. In the big "radar screen of life", giving 2 weeks notice is a small blip. The ramifications of not giving 2 weeks notice could be a big blip down the road.
Best of luck!

I would take a slightly different tack.
Tell her that you have decided to leave. If she asks why? Just tell her that you feel it's time.
Wish her well with the business, and say that you would be willing to work another week or two, but if she doesn't want you to, you are willing to leave at the end of the workday.

I agee with the poster who said that just leaving(or calling your resignation in) is rude and unprofessional.
I read your previous thread...and the real situation is that you don't like working for her...not a case where she has done anything to you to warrant a walking out.

I too would give notice. Not for any obligation to her, but your workmates, and they customers that you seem to really like.

I think Monica has hit it on the head.

I have been there only in my case my supervisor reprimanded me in private, so no witnesses after over 20 years in banking. My friend who knew the big shots in banking quietly helped me file for early retirement so the supervisor could not do anything but for the next 2 weeks I just did my work, talked to no one, except the customers, and then retired. She later got fired!!!
Anyway, I would do like Monica suggested, give her the two weeks notice, quietly document everything and do your job by the book. Discuss this with NO ONE else in/out of the office except your spouse, even your other co-workers regardless how much you like them.
I have seen other workers turn against you especially after you leave. After all, you should be able to collect unemployment if she fires you, and if any threats are made, document those also. I wish you the best.

Here's a story...
I was in a similar position, however, I was the new person. I took a great paying job in an exciting field. My female boss was already with the company for many, many years, and worked solo in this department with occassional PT help from a girl in another dept (the boss would borrow her when needed). I was hired as her assistant FT. I knew from this PT person that this woman was gruff before I took the job, but thought I could handle it (she didn't get into detail). After starting the job, I came to learn that people there didn't like this woman and some employees wondered how long I'd last. Anyway, she turned out to be one of those people who finds fault in EVERYTHING, and it's her way or no way. She constantly knit-picked about really stupid things. Mind you, I already had 20 working years under my belt elsewhere, and left a job of 10 years to take this one. This woman could be fun and was funny, but when it came to work, she was the boss from hell. On my one year anniversary I was up for a raise and review, but decided I'd had enough. Before she could attempt to continue knocking my self-esteem into the ground any further and for another day, I gave notice. I wasn't going to let her get the best of me any longer. So, I diplomatically and truthfully told her why I was leaving. I even told HR my reasoning, and they were not surprised. Unfortunately, this woman was GREAT friends with the owner of the company so I had no recourse, and going to another department wasn't an option. I didn't want to stay another minute after giving my notice, but did give her a week or two (can't remember) out of self-respect. I probably stayed there 51 weeks too long. She was sweet as pie to me for the duration though.

No job or money is worth putting up with stress, anxiety, and being disrespected on a daily basis especially from another human. If you are comfortable with leaving immediately, do so, as long as you are certain there won't be any consequences that could bite you in the ass later.

I have no regrets till this day. I currently own my own successful business going on 7 years now.

Good luck with everything.

Moonie,
I would give notice, even though you may think you won't need a job, someday you might (say something happens and you and DH split, or worse, he dies), don't burn bridges that you might need later. 10 years from now, you might need the company to give you a reference when none of the players involved in your situation are still there. At that point all they would be able to do is look at the computer and say, yes she worked here, and when she quit she gave no notice. Also, in a year or 2 if there was another personnel change, and you wanted to go back they may not take you.

My last job, I gave the 2 week notice, they waved it and I was happily on my way.

I've understood that this is a small, local family restaurant, not a company or even a franchise.
There is a big difference in how one would handle leaving a job, and almost nil in how any bad feelings on the employer's behalf could cause any problems.

Moonie ,I've been where you are now,and believe me it doesn't get any easier,working with someone like that.

It's too long a story to get into now,but like you,we,none of us could get along with her.We told her supervisor,and nothing was done,customers also complained about her,still they did nothing.Give her time they said,she's new!! Yeah right!!

To top it off this was a fabric store and she knew nothing about sewing,and that had always been a pre-requisite to getting a job there.Come to find out she had lied to them and told them she was this great sewer.NOT,what she was was a good LIAR.

One night(about 6mos later) she and i got into it,and she wrote me up,i refused to sign it,and she got all up in my face and told me "I had to sign it",told her i didn't.She kept insisting,so i took the paper from her,wrote on the bottom of it that what she was saying was a lie,and i was refusing to sign it,and that they the owners and her supervisors would hear from me in the next day or so.Handed it backto her,told her to go figure out my pay,because i was quitting right now.She said i can't do that,i said wanna bet.I told her to call one of the other stores and ask the mgr there.She did and they told her she had to give me my pay.
I got my pay,went home ,and the next morning i wrote a letter to corporate,her supervisor.That day when the crew came in they asked where i was and she told them she fired me.Not true,as i had quit.All these gals had worked with me from 6 to 10 years so they knew better,and they also knew i was close to quitting as none of us could stand her.That day 2 more quit,and before the week was over,6 of us had quit.

They all called me when they quit,and told me about the others plans.We all met at a restaurant,discussed her,and what had happened and i encouraged them all to write corporate themselves,and tell their story.They did.By the end of that week,her supervisor called me at home to hear my side,after she apologized for not getting back to me when i first wrote her,but when she got the other letters they figured we all couldn't be wrong,so they called all of us,and heard us out.

They didn't fire her right away,but sent someone to work and spy on her so they could get proof,and also transferred her to another store so she would have someone over her, In a short time we heard from very good sources that she got fired.

They offered me my job back,but i knew the lease on the store would be up in 4 months,so i thanked them for the offer and declined.I decided to just retire earlier than i had planned.

So having said all that,i think you are smart to follow your heart,if you aren't happy there,why stay and be miserable,it isn't worth it,life is too short.
Good luck to you.
Kathi

I've been reading responses off and on during the day and finally gotten a chance to respond. Y'all have been great with thoughts and responses so know it's appreciated. :)

Monica is right as far as this being a family restaurant, so some of the worries that you all have voiced would not apply. There's no vacation time coming, severence pay or even unemployment benefits to consider. Monica is also right in that the owner has done nothing -to- me to warrant me simply walking away without giving notice.

However, that is pretty much my plan. I'm just done and will go in Monday morning. If she would like me to tie up any loose ends for the day I will. Otherwise, I'll head on home... after I go to the bank and cash my check before she has the opportunity to stop payment. That actually is a concern and something I should have taken care of yesterday.

I really would love to tell you guys about what upset me so much Friday when she was questioning me about this other person, but sometimes you never know who you might bump in to on the WWW and I would not want anyone to know the implications that were made.

Kathy813 - Your former boss takes the cake! Putting her hands on you.....?????

chemocurl Sue - Yes, this is the new owner whom I had to train to run the restaurant, and no, I did not hold back, but helped her to the best of my ability. Glad I did, though, because it gives me just a bit of pride to think that at least in that regard I did the right thing.

okwriter - Thanks! I felt a bit of sisterhood there! :)

Someone made mention about not discussing this with any other co-workers and that in the end, some can turn against you. I wouldn't discuss this nor would I repeat things that are said. Yes, even the friendliest co-workers can turn against you but they have to work there so most will naturally not take your side. I wouldn't expect them to nor be hurt by it. Should I work all day Monday, I plan on being bright and cheery, just like any other day. :)

You guys try not to think too badly of me for not mustering up enough integrity to carry on for another week or two, but as I said, I'm done.

Nope, because in your last post you came to a calm, quiet decision that is right for you.

You're a sweetheart, and aren't acting rashly...so (((Hugs))) and as the lady said "Tomorrow is another day".

Hi Kathi. I was posting when you were it seems.

Anyway, glad you got some of kind of closure on your job situation and that your co-workers followed suit and backed you up. That is kind of what I feel like I'll be missing... closure, for lack of a better term. Pretty sure there will be one person following me out the door. It's just sad so I will not be staying and making myself miserable. Thanks!

Thanks, monica! I appreciate your response. ((hugs))

kathy the next time that horrid person lays a hand on you, fall to the floor and scream bloody murder...let her get of that situation!

or take a baby cam to work (the kind you hide)

This is about my office manager grabbing me by the arm and jerking me around. It has been over two years since the incident but if she ever lays a hand on me again the police will be called. She pushed one of our nurses in the chest hard. It startled her but she did not say anything to the Dr. I work for. I told the Dr. what happened to me but nothing was ever said or done that I know of. She is retiring in OCT so we are counting the days. Someone slashed her tires at her previous job so apparently she was a sweetie there too.

I've been in this situation too. My boss was a real you-know-what. A real shame, as I was really looking forward to that job & to learning from her. After six months, she finally pushed me too far. I went home for lunch, wrote my resignation letter & gave it to her when I went back. I figured she would at least talk to me about it after she read it. I wanted to tell my co-workers myself but didn't get a chance to. She told all of the senior mgmt. before even speaking a word to me. Then she casually announced it at our dept. meeting the next day. So all the people that worked for me heard it that way. It was early in the week, so I actually ended up giving two & a half weeks notice. (I figure it's always easiest to end things on a Fri.) Surprisingly, it was the easiest two weeks I'd worked with her. Not easy, but better than it had been. Then they had trouble finding a replacement & she asked me to work an additional week. They weren't able to hire anyone before I left & I ended up training one of the ladies that worked for me on most of the stuff. I ran into a former co-worker a few months later & was told that my replacement lasted two days.

I made my decision to give two weeks notice for several reasons: one was the possible professional ramifications (I don't want her to say that I wasn't professional & quit without notice). Another was my co-workers. It would have been unfair to the others who would have ended up doing my share of the work. Yet another was my desire to personally tell some of the customers that I had worked most closely with. The other was personal. Again, I don't want anyone saying I wasn't professional. Even if my boss wasn't that doesn't mean I shouldn't be.

But each set of circumstances & considerations is different. If you're happy & at peace with your decision, then it's the right one for you. Good luck with whatever your future holds.

If the stop payment on the check is a real concern, you might want to wait until after you've cashed the check to tell her. Most banks will do stop payment online or by phone & she could easily do it while you're on your way to the bank.

why is it women working for women is such a chore? it happen to me a couple of times while working at the phone company...and that was waaaay back...1972...and things still are rough...

Ohhhh......I just did this, last week in fact. I gave no notice, but in my case I was working for a pigheaded egotistical jerk of a man. this was a factory job, small maybe 40 employees. This guy takes the cake, he does not want to teach you anything and in fact will treat you like you are a idiot when you ask him a question, how am I suppose to know the answers if he won't give them to me? but if you go to anybody else for help he blows his stack and then will not talk to you for WEEKS. When I found out from one of the set up guys that this guy basically set me up to have parts that were in reality scrap (and here I had shipped about 2,000 of them) I had had enough, I couldn't go to the owner, he was good friends with this guy and even though they have lost a ton of good employees due to him, he just does not believe them and would rather see them walk out the door.
When I first started working there he would mouth about people not working, being lazy, saying these people act like they know everything about this job when they don't know anything... he would harp about this for about 30 minutes at a wack (mentioning names to me as well) the whole time standing in front of my machine so I could not continue to do my job while he talked, well I guess I messed up because I became friends with one of those he so detested, the thing is when they know enough to set up the machines he decides they cannot be trusted, and starts spreading stuff about them, how immature is that? Out of everyone that I worked with I did not know 1 of them that liked him, I thought to myself, well he is the boss, they probably just don't like him telling them to do their job.
Well I found out first hand that was not true, he is just paranoid that everyone is after his job, anyway I was so stressed out by everything (there is alot more to this, but it would take me a hour to write, lol!) that I had just had enough and I did not return, I called in when I knew it would be one of the girls answering the phones and I told her. The reason I did not give 2 weeks notice? The owner scares the crud out of me and I was scared to death to even talk to him while I was working there and in good standing with the company, Plus I was worried I would have the boss standing over me breathing down my neck while I worked another one of his fun intimidating tactics (he has done this to me before, I ended up slicing the palm of my hand on a part I was so nervous) I have never in my life had a job with a boss as bad as this, every other job I have had I have gotten along great with the bosses.
So I totally understand your point of view, and how you are feeling.
What am I going to put down on my applications as the reason I left my job? Hostile Working Enviroment.

I would give notice. Everybody's eyes are on you; your reputation will be created in the minds of everyone you work with now, everyone you used to work with, etc.

You have no idea who might be making a hiring decision about you in the future, or who might get ASKED about you.

When I want to know how someone was at their last job(s), I don't ask their boss. I dig around until I get ahold of a former coworker, and I ask THEM.

So remember that your reputation extends way beyond the boss or the actual employer.

As of about 9 AM I am unemployed. It didn't go any way that I had imagined it would so even after all these hours I am still feeling awful.

To make a long story short, she begged, pleaded and cried for me not to do that to her, for us to put everything behind us and how bad she needed me. It became so uncomfortable that I told her she was making it hard for me to finish out the day. Eventually her voice began to rise a little so I decided it was time to leave. By the time I was walking out the door she was very angry. Although at that point she didn't say a word, her fingers were banging the register buttons while she was ringing out a customer.

Yes, I am relieved to not be going back but I do feel badly for the desperation she was displaying. Call me a softy, but it tugged at my heartstrings. Just wish she had shown how desperate she was to keep me from day one.

Thanks to everyone.

Anyone hear of "The Peter Principle"? Sounds like alot of these people in power have reached the upper level of their incompetence. (I too have been a victim of one - main reason why I retired a few years earlier than planned, and thank goodness I had all my financial ducks in a row!)

Here is a link that might be useful: check this link out

Don't let it get to you. She's laying a huge guilt trip on you.

Relax, have a glass of wine and enjoy the rest of your life.

I thought about you today, moonie.
Sorry the day was uncomfortable for you, but look on the bright side: tomorrow you don't have to stress!
:-)

Don't be surprised if upper management gets wind of this and ask you to come back, with her out of the way.

Sorry it turned out this way. Your free now.

Good Luck!

Gayle

Yeah, she'll survive. She's just afraid because she didn't invent the idea. There is someone there anxious to get on her good side and will quickly step into your shoes. That doesn't mean they can fill the bill. It only means all will be well. Whether the place survives doesn't depend on you but on her. If it does or does not will happen with our without your presence based on what you've told us about her, and that includes her reaction today. Par for the course. She has no cool whatsoever and too quickly loses control. She'll learn her lessons or she won't, Moonie. It didn't cost your stress levels or peace of mind to teach her.

Good for you Moonie,,Don't let it get you down.If you want another job,you will get one,if you don't want one.like i didn't.stay home.take the opportunity to sleep in once in awhile and enjoy the rest of your life.

By the way,i could have gone back to work at another fabric store if i wanted and still can,and they all know me there as well and they know why i quit,as a few of them had had run ins with that mgr as well.

I chose not to go back,but to take early retirement.Never been sorry for even a day.Oh sure once in awhile i get the urge to get a job,but it passess quickly.LOL,LOL
Kathi

Wow, sorry it ended that way. I would have left my job too I think.

I gave notice years ago and decided to work my notice and it was the most uncomfortable thing I had to do. I just decided I wanted a job in an environment where the person I was working for didn't go around tipping over her employees desks when they couldn't find what she was looking for or screaming like a banshee LOL. Not my desk thank goodness (I had my own office) but the employees desks out front where they meet with clients booking travel. My boss/friend was going through menopause and she was a nightmare to be around.

You did the right thing leaving early.

So how do you like not going into work this week?

Anne

Anne - I -love- it! Get to sleep a bit later before getting DD up for school and I have been very lazy. Shouldn't I be doing housework and catching up with those blowing leaves? Nah! LOL

okwriter - Thanks for thinking of me. I appreciate that. :)

And thanks to the rest of you for your support. My phone has been ringing with friends and customers trying to find out what's going on, and since I had all of you to dump this on, I don't feel the need to discuss it with others.

Thanks again!

Moonie,
I left (tried to) my last job. Bi-polar un-medicated boss/owner came to my office and cried for 2 hours and begged me not to leave. The business would have folded and I didn't want to do that to my co-workers, so I stayed for 4 1/2 months more. But I was honest to the boss and told him up front that I intended to leave. Then I did his books nights for nearly another year. A year ago I waited on him at my current job and he begged me to come back nights and weekends. I told him I'd get back to him and I knew his number was in the book. Never entertained the thought of calling him back.