Absolutely not... I spent 8 years in the Military during Viet Nam and ten years driving 18 wheelers long haul across this country and I can assure you that I have seen and done things that cause me to have nightmares to this day. Under no circumstances will I share those memories with anyone because no one needs to hear that mess, but I feel that all went into making me a stronger person today.

On the other hand, occassionally when I see a veterans parade and I stand there with a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye,,,I will neither explain nor apologize to anyone.

Yes.....more than I could list here.

Mostly the hurtful comments directed at me growing up. More so I wish I could erase some minor events that I feel made me who i am today. If I could do that then I would probably be a professional dancer, a concert pianist, and a vetranarian.

SamKaren
your resident DJ

Yes, I'd erase a 5 year period. Very depressing situation.

no, I don't think I would. Well, except for the second week at WSU when I was climbing the stairs, and fell forward while wearing a mini skirt ... and a mess load of students, male, behind my big behind.

Yes I would.

Lazypup, I am in awe of all those who fight for our country and especially those who survived Vietnam. None of you came home mentally healthy, I am sure, my uncle came home and never regained his sanity, his demons overcame him. I know there are nightmares that you have that will never go away, and for that, I wish you the best and hope for sweet dreams to win out in the end. Hugs to you.

Yes, there are a few memories I'd like to erase if I could. I could say those times made me stronger, but I'm not sure they did. If anything, they may have made me weaker.

Yes. I did something that hurt a dear friend. They will never forgive me and I haven't been able to forgive myself yet. I wish I could forget. It haunts me every day.

definitely

Thank You Michelle,,but to be honest the absolute worst of those nightmares occured right here at home.....

When a young man or woman goes in the military they serve on the premise that they are helping to keep freedom in the world..they do not make foreign policy nor do they start wars, they simple go where they are told and do what they must knowing it is for the good of all those in this country.....And when you survive the experience and finally come home, you are proud,,you did your part, no more, no less, but you can hold your head up,,you did your part.you feel like you can finally stand with the big boys and be recognized as a man...

But I can tell you first hand, there is no bomb, rocket gun or bullet that can hurt you like being spit upon when you arrive home.....

I live about 2 miles from an Air Force Base and we constantly see the young men and women in uniform shopping in the local stores....Some ppl laugh at me because I make a point of introducing myself to them and shaking their hand and saying Thank You,,,,God forbid they should ever feel the pain of being spit on.

I would say, "No", I would not erase memories.

I have a very good memory (so my oldest friends tell me) and remember very well some bad times & bad incidents or occasions. But when I think about those things, I don't relive the pain or other emotion that was attached. In other words, I don't dwell or ruminate on bad memories. So I just accept them as a part of my history.

That said, I'm not so sure I would have such a laid back attitude if I had experienced something like Viet Nam or someone shooting themselves. My "bad" memories don't rise to the level of "horrific", thankfully.

No I agree with Lazypup. What doesn't kill one only makes one stronger. My memories, even the bad ones, are an ever present reminder of who I am and what I stand for. That is a good thing.

Lazypup I am sorry that you were treated so poorly on your return after serving our country. Thank you for making that special effort to offer support to our armed forces in a personal way. I know it must mean a lot to them.

No way... we only have so long to live, I would never want to forget any of it, good or bad. I wish I could remember more!

Abosultely

Nah. I would not erase anything. I need all I can retain, but some of it is going away anyway. Even the painful memories held lessons worth keeping. It might seem nice to purge some of the rotten ones, but the lessons and experiences would go too.

OMG YES! IF ONLY!!!!!

No. I've had no really bad "tragedies" other than deaths of loved ones. Most of my memories are good ones. And they have shaped me into the person i am today, who I like a like!

Yes, I would. Evidently I have! I know some of my 'tape' has been erased.

it was sad on our honeymoon, we chose to fly back to chicago to meet my hub's parents...to qualify for cheaper airfair he had to wear his navy blues...we were lucky..no cat calls, that day...

as for erasing memories...good question...maybe some things my mother said would have me miss her more...but they're out there...and i don't...

Never. What happened, happened--and erasing the memory doesn't change that. It would just eliminate my ability to deal with it. Most of us will have enough memory problems as we grow older; right now I'll take all the memory I can get.

I did have a session of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) for post-traumatic episodes once. It didn't take away the memory; it just made it more tolerable.

Another one who believes that life experiences, good AND bad, make up the sum total of who one is. Interesting too, is that the longer one lives, the better (I hope) one is able to see those good or bad memories from different perspectives and thus be more likely to forgive and understand.

Oh yes, yes I would.

When I consider how much stuff that I can't remember, as it is ...

... I don't think so ...

... (if I could only remember the stuff that I might have wished that I couldn't remember)

ole joyfuelled

Read Nanny98's post and put Ya Ya on it, wouldya!?

You bet I would! I'd erase seeing my 19 year old in a body bag. But I'd like to keep going, erase her car accident from my memory, and have her back here like nothing ever happened.

Absolutely not as i think each thing i went thru was a learning experience,and made me a stronger better person.

My DH did 2 tours of duty in Viet Nam and like lazypup he was also spit upon.Us military wives also had a hard time during their absences,and we either learned to live with it and make the best of it,or some went back home to their families during the duration of the spouses absense.

I stayed where ever we were stationed when he left and kept my kids with me.During those times i learned how to install windows that got broken,fixed the kitchen sink plumbing and a myriad of other things.In other words i got very independant!!
As the kids got older i showed/taught them how to do things as well.DH retired after 21 years of service,and while i do see some changes in him,they are nothing we can't handle.He's just more quiet and reserved,and unlike a lot of guys he doesn't like to go to memorial services,or to see the Viet Nam wall,that type of thing,and i think for him it brings back too many bad memories,so i go to those type of things by myself or with friends.

He does fly both the marine corps and American flags each and every day,and when they start to fade,he goes out to the base and gets new ones.

When we give people directions to our house we always tell them to look for the house with the white picket fence and the marine and American flag.
Wow i really got carried away with this post.Didn't i???
Sorry about that.
Kathi

Waving at Ya ya !!! Haven't seen you lately and have missed ya!!

Stacie

Yes!! being raised by a mentally disturbed stepmother who was sadistic, and a father who turned his head to the abuse. I would deposit those memories at hell's door.

Like Samkaren...I would like to erase the abuse that happened during my childhood and there was a two year period in my adult life that I would like to erase. Maybe those two years made ME stronger, but it hurt my children

AND to Lazypup.... thank you for your service. I am
probably about your age, and I lost a lot of friends that served in VIetnam, most of the with the 101st Airborne. DH is former Marine, and I am now a military mom... DD2 served in the USMC, DD1 USCG, their husbands are now active duty active duty Navy.