We never talk about "deep subjects". Usually about work, what everyone has been doing and lots of talk about baby Alyssa who will be having her first Thanksgiving. She will soon be 9 months old. Yes, talk about the food too and if anyone wants some to go boxes of food when they get ready to leave.

Sue

The conversation is usually about what everyone is involved with, then usually we go back in 'history' and we remind each other of some on the funny and sometimes dumb we and other reletives have done done. Everyone ends up laughing so hard. If the weather is good we go for a walk after dinner, then come back and clean up. If I go through all of the work to plan, cook and serve that big dinner. NO ! There is no football or any sports on TV. The day should be reserved for family and friends.

No, those types of conversations are for smaller, intimate conversations. Too many of them are hurtful to a broad spectrum of people, I don't want to cause that pain. I don't open them here either.

Since I live alone, a lot depends on the people who are with me at the time. If my family is here for dinner, the baby occupies some of our attention. We're also likely to discuss work issues, our pets, house-related stuff, or seasonal matters like firewood in the fall, when the boat is going in the water in spring, etc. And of course any news of our mutual friends.

If I'm entertaining my girlfriends (several of whom are counseling psychologists) we tend to discuss human behavior, the state of the world, and their love lives.

If it's just me and the cats, the conversation usually centers around table manners.

No, our conversations are just about "catching up". What's new, how's your job, how are all the kids, etc. We stay away from politics. The guys discuss sports.

I never know. Depends on what's happening with those around the table.

When it is just Dh and I, it is just observations of the day mostly or comments about who all we can see at the bird feeders and the yard during the meal. This morning it was the interaction between 5 squirrels and 3 crows.

When we have guests, it would be the above yard show and catching up with everybody's daily lives.

The Thanksgiving meal for 18 to 22 eaters at my daughters always includes the telling by each guest of something in the past year that they are especially thankful for. It is a tradition that she started.

For the most part, it is catching up on each others lives as well as maybe gardening, decorating, canning, shopping, recipes/cooking, mutual friends/loved ones, health, etc.

I've about stopped visiting with a good gf as every time she and I and her hubby sit down at her table to visit, her hubby goes off on some sort of rant about something. It's always some injustice, or something he has heard or read about, and he takes everything he reads on the net as the absolute truth. He might even get to cussing and swearing at which time I suddenly 'have to' leave. Life is too short to put up with a bunch of crap.

(the other) Sue

Some of us may be in the medical field and that's why we use the word "fetus" to describe a spontaneous abortion.

Around my real kitchen table, we talk about everyone's jobs, the kids, maybe a little about the economy, not much political, mostly humorous.

No pot stirring.

The holidays are a source for a lot of family tension. So I would think subjects like religion and politics would be forbidden.One of my co-workers has a sign in her kitchen that says.."leave politics and religion at the back door" please.
We love to sit around and keep the conversations light and very happy.

When it's just DH and I, we talk about the days happenings. Same if the kids drop by. I'm a foodie, so I don't care for negative talk at the dinner table, for me it ruins the meal. Save it for later.

When I have a large gatherings at my table, we tend to catch up with what everyone is doing and quite often we reminisce or tell funny stories about the family.

I grew up at holiday tables where politics and religion were always discussed, it never turned out well. As a child I grew to fear each holiday and vowed never to do that my kids.

Read dotmom's post. That' what our family talks about, too.

It's pretty casual at our gatherings. How are the other families, health, jobs, kids. I imagine We may talk about Nebraska football playing Penn State. Maybe even about Penn state but everyone talks. We know we don't all agree, what's the point of throwing gas on the fire?

We'll talk about the big play a niece was in or how dd's basketball team is improving big time. How grandpa is doing with his cancer. And why we won't let grandma make chocolate pie..that always come up.

My MIL was an RN, my SIL is an RN, my niece is trained as an EMT, I was an LPN and not once have we described a friend or family members miscarraige (or on one occasion early death of a twin) a fetus. "I'm so sorry about fetus Emmily", just doesn't sound right. Recently we had a cousin who's ultra sound showed a heart defect in her unborn daughter. (the mom gave birth and baby is doing fairly well) We talked about this. No mention of fetus there either...Really, wouldn't it sound weird for someone to describe a 7, 8 or 9 month old new born as a fetus? I'd probably forget what I was about to say if someone said that to me.

We do laugh about past Thanksgivings too. Something about water bras I won't get into. Playing football on the field in front of grandma's house or something about our pets. They like to tease me about doing cpr on my dog over a year ago. Hey it worked! I can take their laughing tho.

For the most part we don't sit around saving the world. But... When I get together with my friends, towards the end of many conversations, we like to say we just saved a little piece of the world once again.

There's two topics at Thanksgiving with us- the football game and results and deer hunting. Everything revolves around deer hunting and we do not eat until the "guys" come in from deerhunting. DH no longer hunts so he's a bit bored now.

I grew up in a home where dinner was served in the dining room. Our father was quite a conversationalist. We learned geography, history, civics, and so much more from our dinner conversations in the '50s. Dad had been a fan of vaudeville, and so we also heard some of his favorite jokes and routines. He would quote poetry too, and I especially remember his rendition of "In Flander's Field."

I assumed everyone had dinner conversations like we did. I remember when our older sister was in college in town, she would bring friends home with her for a home cooked meal. It was from these friends that we learned others did not have dinner conversations like ours.

We laughed and we learned too. I was assigned the seat next to my older brother, and I still can remember on occasion laughing so hard at some story Dad told that I couldn't catch my breath and would tilt toward the floor, and just before I lost my balance, my brother's long arm would reach over to pull me upright.

My DH is not the conversationalist that my Dad was, but Thanksgiving dinner will be all adults this year with my sister and her DH, and my two sons and one fiancee. Conversation will center around the meal and the wine, and around the interesting things happening in the two sons' careers. One just returned from Norway where he had been working the past 6 weeks, and the other has been busy editing commercials. So we adults always like to catch up on life in the big cities (NYC and LA) and their careers. We also reminisce a lot too of how it was in our youth and share family history and stories.

This brings up a memory that everyone of our family and friends who were gathered around our Thanksgiving table one year, remembers, but no one talks about.

No one in our family, or in our circle of friends, are hunters. We have nothing against people who are, it just isn't for us.
One year my husband invited a colleague who was new in town, to our Thanksgiving celebration. He was nice guy,(though a bit loud) We all enjoyed his company, until we sat down to dinner. Just as the turkey was brought to the table, he said that the bird reminded him of his first turkey shoot. He then started in on a very graphic account of the occasion. Apparently it wasn't a clean shot!
He was so into his story, and we were so shocked, it took a couple of minutes for DH to persuade him to change the subject. For some reason there was a lot of leftovers that year!

Elisabeth

Other than boogers, poop, and blood, no talk is off limits at the table. And yes, we do have to sometimes remind one of the grandsons that the conversation they've just started related to one of the above topics is off limits. Hey, they're 4 and 12, so sometimes they forget. They have dinner at our house at least 5 nights a week and the conversation is always lively. The "baby", as he is still often called, asks everyone, "How was your day?" and each relates in turn, usually just a sentence or two, how it went. Don't ask him that question before dinner, however, or he will reply, "No, you have to wait until dinnertime".

Every gathering around the table is a time to catch up on everyone's happenings. I LOVE dinner conversation.

(Donna Loomis - Your "baby" sounds delightful; I'd love for him to have dinner with us! And you, too!)

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I was born in the south in 1956 and raised by my Grandmother.

She was born in 1903 and was raised by my Great-Grandmother, (b. 1875) and my Great-Great-Grandmother (b. 1850) before the Civil War in the Victorian Era.

To say proper, gracious, southern manners, covering every aspect of life, were strickly followed would be a real understatement.

The art of conversation; presenting oneself as "gracious and dignified," and being a perfect hostess (even if you're serving only boiled beans and cornbread for dinner) was as important as life itself. Doing things properly, putting people at ease, making the best of what you had, no matter how much or how little, and knowing when to discuss what was practically in-born.

To say I am a product of my raising is also an understatement! LOL I am absolutly horrified at what passes as "manners" or "conversation" in today's world.

We eat dinner at the table 99% of the time. We set the table, sit down, (no TV, radio, or phones during dinner) and have conversation that is pleasant, interesting, informative, and/or useful on topics that are the same.

There is no religion (except general praise and thanksgiving to God), politics, or sexual discussions at the table.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a "prude." I've had a rich, varried, mobile life and experienced many cultures. I will say that my very humble roots, and my Grandmothers' wise training and foundation of "southern manners" has done more for me than anything else in the world - more than formal education, careers, money, travel, etc. Without the firm foundations of "what's proper" I could have never gleaned so much good from all the blessings I've experienced, or survived the failures and challenges.

One example is about an elegant dinner, (guest of honor was the then 18-year-old Prince Filipe) hosted by a Spanish general and attended by a very bedazzled female sergeant (one of less than 10 women at the entire event.) The private "villa" location was about one step away from qualifying as a "palace," at least in my eyes.

It was at a point about mid-way through the dinner (after surviving nuclear-powered cocktails with an overly friendly officer) I realized what my Grandmother had instilled in me. Basic southern graciousness will get you through anything and everything, with grace and aplomb.

Don't confuse dignified with stuffy or up-tight either. When I'm with like minded friends we discuss any- and everything...but not during dinner. There's time and place for lively give and take talks on any subject, but there should also be the restraint of never offending another and knowing when to not talk.

As a teen and young adult I thought my upbringing had been so strict and constraining. It was neither. Those same rules and traditions gave me freedom and experiences I could have only...

I am so highly impressed with you ladies. Humble thanks for taking the time to share.

So Caroline, tell us more about that dinner with the prince. Come on now.....