I am SO sorry that this is turning out to be so awful for you. Next year, either order a complete meal (to go) from a restaurant or grocery store, or just go to a restaurant and eat dinner there. No hassle, good food, and you can enjoy yourself and the day.

So sorry to hear that your dinner "went to the dogs".

((((((Caroline))))))

I feel your pain, I had an Afghan Hound that managed to some how drag the giant roasting pan with the Christmas ham beautifully baked and ready for the hour long trip to the family off the counter onto the kitchen floor and devour the entire ham. Of course spreading the gravy over the whole kitchen floor. Believe me I feel your pain. Try finding another decent ham on Christmas day etc.

What you need to do rather than let it build up inside of you and destroy your day is tell your husband and family members that you will no longer do it with out full assistance from everyone and the dogs are strictly some ones responsibility and if they fail to handle their task they will not be having dinner.
You doing this with your feet in that condition is crazy. You can cause serious problems.
Just put one of those poor feet down and lay down the law.

(((((caroline)))))

Yes, next year make out your menu and assign everyone a couple of dishes to make and bring with them. That is what my SIL did this year. My dishes are the dressing, gravy, peanut butter pie, deviled eggs, and pumpkin bread. As a bonus we are bringing a couple of my Daddy's Famous Cheese Roll and crackers.

I am sorry that the Thanksgiving meal has turned out so awful. Fix yourself an adult beverage or two & relax...

I would be ready to chuck the dogs...they are the issue not Thanksgiving. Your place sounds too small for them anyway.

I am sorry about the mess you have had. I myself know how much work it is to fix a meal and work on it for days and then it is eaten in less than an hour. We all keep doing it though. I can say I have yet to have a mishap like you had though.

Sue

I'd get rid of the dogs before I got rid of Thanksgiving!!
Sounds like you need some help! Don't any of your guests know you just had surgery?? If they didn't offer help, you need to ask for it! Sorry, probably sounding kind of cold, but don't make yourself miserable; enjoy the day with the help of your family/friends!

Time to start a pot luck Thanksgiving tradition! Everyone brings a dish. You could maybe do the turkey since it would be hard to lug around from one house to another. Everyone brings all the rest of the food! That's the only way to go if you ask me! Why should YOU be solely responsible for everything. And truth be known, you probably should not even be on your feet if you just had surgery! I would hate TG too if I had to do all that! The dog deal was just the straw that broke the camel's back!

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad on what should be a good day. You must be worn-out and unable to deal with the pie being ruined and your dish too. Tell people how you are feeling, and maybe they can pitch in and help.

I feel your pain. Two marathon cooking sessions in less than a month don't make me feel too thankful either. I am most often thankful when December 26 finally rolls around.

Seriously though, the bright side is that I am thankful to have the food to cook and I am thankful that my children and children
are here in good health to enjoy it.

I hope that you have a blessed Thanksgiving, Caroline.

"I would be ready to chuck the dogs...they are the issue not Thanksgiving. Your place sounds too small for them anyway."

Seriously!

So sorry this happened to you!

Untrained dogs are wild animals.....I know you love them....but a heated dog house for the seasons cooking days .....outdoors......may be a blessing for your whole family.

I LOVE Thanksgiving and cooking and all the hustle and bustle and festivities......and being appreciated for all that I do..... :0) What a treat!

I'm so sorry your having such a bad day. Sounds like you need a break and some new arrangements. Ravencajun has some wise words I'll ditto.
Guess your dealing with today tho. Take a deep breath, call one of the kids and have them bring a pie from the store bakery. Get the dh to do the dishes now needing washed and give him a big kiss when he's done, even if you want to bat his buns.

We're heading to my MIL's house. All the kids live nearby- so we all make the food and meet at her house. I can't imaging having her do the bulk of it even though she is still capable at the age of 80. On another thought, I recall at the first of our marriage, that the guys were asked to do NOTHING. I wasn't used to that strange quirk of theirs. So odd to me. Now over 25 years later, I have infused some new ideas into our meals. The new fellows do some things, my dh,the only one I have any influence over, will make food with my guidance, do some serving and the best part, pick up dishes afterwards. I'll admit there were a couple of "to H*ll with this" moments in the beginning, but a day of good sleep and thought, kept me persistent in my goals. I think now, 25 years later, everyone is enjoying our rolls. Yes, the gals still do the biggest part of the meal. This year I'm thrilled to say my SIL's boyfriend is making the turkey and she is bringing a desert. MIL is nice enough to direct what kind of food to bring. Like a salad, vegetable, potato of some kind, rolls. We decide what recipe.
Sorry to ramble, you just need a kind ear. I just hope you can introduce some new ideas so you are less stressed!

How sad that you're having this experience on a day that we're giving thanks for all that we have. I understand the frustration and the work involved. I agree that you will get much more out of the day and be able to experience it for what it is if you don't go to all this trouble.

As for getting rid of the dogs as some suggest - no, I don't agree with that.

I'm sorry Carolyn that you are feeling this way. And. I completly understand your feelings.

There is no simple answer..and quite frankly you weren't really asking for one..you were just venting.

I hope that you can find something to laugh about today.

I long ago decided that I would no longer make myself sick doing these holiday 'celebrations'. When did "Thanks" require a five course meal, made by one woman in a family kitchen, without staff? We've been brainwashed by advertising and the mass media it funds.

There is too little reward for the work involved. The elaborate feast you have spent days preparing is OVER in under an hour, leaving you with another four hours of cleaning up. The work/result ratio is too skewed for me.

I don't mean to make light of your woes (I'd be upset, too) but your post had me ROFL! Hopefully, one day soon you will laugh too.

BTW, Erma Bombeck had nothing on you!

I'm sorry this is happening. I'm not sure if you need new dogs or a new husband. It sounds like you need a new husband - - I'm just kidding though. You can't do anything about it this year but if you decide to do this next year, make sure you make it a potluck and put the dogs and hubby outside. Here in Wisconsin it's deer hunting time and while many people question the wisdom of having deer hunting the same time as Thanksgiving, it makes sense to me. The men are gone and out of the way so we can get the food ready. I love it.

There are so many people who love to cook, I am not one of them!
That said, I like to provide a festive holiday dinner for my family.

I have cut back on what I do.Since I have two vegetarian daughters, I have to make different stuffing, and provide a meatless entree. Two different potatoes (a diabetic sister is coming)
To make things easier, my oldest told me to make the Tofurky the night ahead. They ate half last night and will have the rest today.

I try to keep things as simple as I can. Store bought gravy, canned cranberry sauce etc. So although there will be many choices, none are complicated.
Caroline, only you can decided what you want to do next year. Are many people depending on you for their holiday celebration?

In years past I asked my sister to host. Now it's back on me. Would someone else step up to the plate if asked? Some people have no idea that you would be willing to take a break.
Or, as other have suggested, start assigning dishes. Make reservations instead of cooking. Or as one poster suggested, have it catered. As we get older things just become more over whelming.
Wishing you a happy holiday!

Sorry you had such an awful day. Re the dogs, I have found that it doesn't matter if you have a 4 lb. Chi or a Great Dane, if there is food that they want they will find a way to get it. Our former mini Dachshunds were expert at this - and our current dog, an American Eskimo with very human-like paws (thankfully no thumbs) can get into anything. Reminds me of the time my aunt made homemade soup that she added a huge brisket to once on the table. Well, she turned her back for a moment - and the brisket was gone. The Beagle sure enjoyed it though. I know people that live in monster homes and others - like my husband and me - that live in small bungalows - size of house doesn't matter - the dogs will find the food. I do think that your family should have pitched in - a lot - especially considering the situation with your feet. I would make your DH do some of the work and start calling around for someone else to make the dessert - and next year, should this become a funny memory for you - and you decide to host Thanksgiving again - make everyone brings something. I am sure your dogs enjoyed the pie! Mine would have - and our former Alpha Dachshund sure enjoyed the stuff he ate. By the way, I trust the dog more than my husband when it comes to NOT TOUCHING the food.

Ugh, that sounds just horrible and I would quit in protest, too. How many are coming? No one can understand the amount of time, energy and expense go in to creating a meal like Thanksgiving. Even if you didn't have to do any cooking, you still have to clean the house, set a beautiful table, be gracious and clean up. Phooey.

I bet Norman Rockwell never cooked even one holiday meal. I bet he was off in his studio painting to escape the work and commotion.

The entire holiday season has gotten out of hand with all the stress and pressure.

One time my husky ate the roast beef off the kitchen counter. A couple years later I "re-homed" him with my uncle who had a big property in Bucks County. He was just too much dog for my living situation. I missed him for about five minutes.

Oh my, big hugs to you Caroline.

You and Sam I think have been at odds with each other since day one so it doesn't surprise me that his spirit and wayward ways finish off the Thanksgiving tradition for you. Find a way to celebrate Thanksgiving that doesn't require a big, tempting production for Sam to ruin and frustration for you. Hope the rest of your day/weekend goes more smoothly.

Jodi-

(((((Caroline)))))

I second the idea of having visitors bring/contribute some/most of the feast.

Hope the day is improving.

ole joyful

((Caroline)) I feel your pain. I also had a horrible Thanksgiving/birthday weekend in October and vowed I would never ever make another holiday dinner for anyone in my family ever again but mine was caused by a visiting relative who caused me to get stressed, then when my sister showed up in a bad mood I raised my voice to her and she left in a huff. I then had to call in the recruits to save me from the person causing me my grief and stress and my first panic attack ever over something she had no business getting her nose into.

I can laugh about it now, my sister is talking to me again, I haven't really spoken to the other yet because I might tell her off haha. I am going to have Christmas dinner still and if my sister wants to come she is welcome but if not, no skin off my nose, I have others who will be here.

I had never experienced a messy holiday before, that was the first and hopefully the last. Oh the joys of the holidays

Wishing you a bit more peace in your day.

Oh geeze!!! You have your hands full. Try taking a few deep breaths.
I find this time of year very stressful. Hang in there n try to enjoy the
rest of the day. Please don't hesitate to delegate the work.

Also,we all have been there with our pets helping themselves n get
annoyed with them but we love them anyway unconditionally. :)

Caroline, I now delete certain people and certain traditions, that do not fit into my life or make me feel stressed. My kids are grown, it is just DH and I~~~I was feeling very stressed about the holidays a few years back. We now go away for Thanksgiving week, my DH and I, we love it and the kids do not have to decide who to spend time with, they can all do whatever and it does not make us feel bad. We also now do Christmas a week before the holiday. WOW! That is the best, we do pot luck, play games and just relax~~no traffic, no one needing to run over to the inlaws houses.

Sit and think about how 'you' want it to be and tweak everything to your liking. It really shold not be a day you are so stressed out and ready to cry.

PS~~~~talk to your DH he needs to help!

Caroline, sending you hugs!!! Dogs and husbands can be the very dickens, can't they? I hope you are feeling better tomorrow.

Caroline, I hope that your day improves & you are feeling better soon. I certainly understand. When we moved into our new house several years ago, we finally had some extra space to have family over for the holidays. We did it a couple of times for Thanksgiving & Easter. DH & I spent all our time off work shopping, prepping, cooking & cleaning. Everyone came & eat, visited for a bit & then left the mess for us to clean up. Then two years ago at Christmas, we did the cooking & carried everything to DH's brother's house. We were up early Christmas morning & spent until 1pm cooking. By the time we were done cooking, DH & I were both in a bad mood.I resented spending basically every moment of my couple of days off work prepping & cooking. We didn't get a chance to relax until late afternoon & I was back at work the next day. That was the last time we've done a full holiday meal.

I don't mind carrying a few dishes for a pot luck, but never again will we host or cook the entire meal. The holidays aren't supposed to be stressful, but that's what ends up happening a lot of times.

The stress is what we make it.

I have been there..and decided I don't care what any one thinks..I do what I want and it makes me happy.

I love to cook and bake..but I refuse to wear myself out to do so.

This year I have made it so simple.

However, not all the "traditional" items are making my meal. There will be no gravy, no mashed taters and no dressing at this meal.

But I promised Kian that I will make a turkey breast meal with the works next weekend or the weekend after. We both love leftover casserole. But we don't need a huge pan of it. :)

Sorry about your Thanksgiving....you are expecting too much of yourself, no wonder you are sad....let others help if at all possible, or go out for a Thanksgiving dinner...I'm 66 and that's what we do now...everyone grown and gone to different parts of the country...My wish is that you can look back and laugh...((hugs to you))

Caroline, are those dogs crate trained? Could they be in your backyard for a few hours? One of my veterinarians taught me what they do at their house. Food is always put in the oven, microwave or a cupboard away from the dogs. My Lab has stolen food from my counters many times. Now I don't give him the opportunity.
Bless your heart, sit down and have a glass of wine. Tell everyone that next year it will be potluck.

I'm sorry your Thanksgiving has turned out so bad. Next year make restaurant reservations. And don't bring the dogs...

o.k., so I guess I don't know the story behind the dogs. In any case, you have to whine and wheedle DH to watch then for ten minutes? Really?

You're making all this food for everyone, while trying to recovery from surgery, and no one even offered to help? Really?

Seriously, next year tell everyone they are helping, or there's no Thanksgiving at your house.

Out of that whole story I have the biggest problem with DH not helping AT ALL. That's just wrong and hurtful and uncaring. I would open the door and put the dogs outside. And if there's no yard, then DH better go after them.

I'm very sorry your Thanksgiving is so miserable. I really wish it would have been better. Bless your heart. And bust out the alcohol.

I am seriously depressed after reading this post.

I am seriously depressed after reading this post.

I'm so sorry, Caroline. I'm pretty sure I would sit down on the floor and bawl my eyes out. Would it help to feed the dogs twice what they usually get in the morning?

Caroline, I'm reminded of a Thanksgiving of many years ago that took place days after Thistle, our German Shepherd, was discharged from the veterinary hospital after two surgeries on her throat, which had been shot by somebody with a deer rifle. We were, of course, very careful with her, feeding only soft foods.

After dinner my DH and I went for a walk with the kids, and when we returned, what was left of our large turkey wasn't left anymore--it was gone. In fact, we saw the last of it (a drumstick) disappearing down Thistle's throat. Yes, the same throat that had been operated on. Twice.

Remarkably, she survived. And so did we. And so will you. Maybe this will even be like childbirth for you, and next year you will have forgotten all about the bad parts of today. :-)

I'm on the fence about Thanksgiving every year...I both love it and hate it. I love the family get-together time, but hate all the work. My sister and I are responsible for the bulk of it and it IS a lot of work...good thing it's only once a year. My thoughts are with you, Caroline...but I think it's true that you will look back and laugh about it. I know our family has never had one of those "Norman Rockwell Thanksgivings".

Caroline, next year come to my house.
You and Harry can come and you can leave Sam with your DH. LOL
Hope you are having a better evening.....rest and take care of yourself the rest of the weekend.

I also had a day which I am sure I won't forget. My family was together for the first time in quite a while and I was feeling so content. Almost finished with dinner when oldest daughter took offense at something my middle daughter said in jest and certainly not maliciously. Oldest daughter said very loudly that we all come and eat her food that she has prepared and then criticize her and the way she lives. She said if we don't like the way she is we can just stay home. We all sat in shock including her husband. He kept saying that we were just having fun and honestly and truly there was nothing mean or disrespectful said. She ended up leaving the table and when I tried to approach her she told me to leave her alone. We have had so much sadness and difficult times in the last few years and this seemed to be a special holiday. I just don't even know what to say to her and we are supposed to be going out of town tomorrow (me and her family). I am really heartbroken and I think this may cause a permanent split in the family. I never in a million years would have expected this from her and Im very sad.
Caroline, I am so sorry-didn't mean to hijack your post. I do want to let you know I understand the pain and empty feeling you must have. Satine

I don't mean to judge, but really, there is no need to be a martyr at holiday time. You do not have to cook EVERYTHING! Ask or tell people what you need them to bring. You have a relative that can't cook? They can pick up wine,dessert,paper supplies. When you get stressed,everyone feels it. Hope Christmas is a better experience.

I don't mean to judge, but really, there is no need to be a martyr at holiday time. You do not have to cook EVERYTHING! Ask or tell people what you need them to bring. You have a relative that can't cook? They can pick up wine,dessert,paper supplies. When you get stressed,everyone feels it. Hope Christmas is a better experience.

Satine, the holidays can bring out the worst in people. Pent up anger, taking things the wrong way etc.

I loved having my both my daughters, but since we have a small family (And what we do have lives miles away) I only have one sister to invite.

I really am not close to this sister and I resent not having my other sister or brother here instead. I invite her because she is my family. She barely spoke to me the entire time she visited, never feels she should help me and I don't even think she complemented anything on the table.

Family dynamics are so difficult. I will never have a discussion with my sister as she is not receptive. My other sister has tried and she is set in her ways. "This is how I am." Doesn't matter that she is hurting someone's feelings.

Caroline, I hope you figure out what works for you.

'When did "Thanks" require a five course meal, made by one woman in a family kitchen, without staff?'

'you have to whine and wheedle DH to watch then for ten minutes?'
'You're making all this food for everyone, while trying to recovery from surgery, and no one even offered to help?'

You have my sympathy.

I my own self would make some new rules, whether I ever cooked another noodle in my life:

1. Husband better get his a$$ in there & not just 'help' but do a substantial amount of the work.

2. Dogs better go outside or somebody (see #1 above) better fix the interior doors so that I can latch every one of them.

3. We're adopting a European style of dining: Dinner takes a couple of hours, & guests better behave & express appreciation for my efforts. Anybody bolting their food doesn't get to come back.

4. Kitchen gets a make-over. Even if you don't want to spend a fortune, you can still add or subtract elements to give yourself more room to work. (My grandmother put her fridge in the bedroom that adjoined the kitchen!)

Take care of yourself.

I think there is something in the air right now that has all dogs grabbing food. Last night my dog grabbed half of a baguette - and off he went. And since we live in Canada it wasn't even Thanksgiving. Normally, he can sit beside me on the bed while I have food and he won't touch it until I give him some (same can't be said when he is sitting by my husband though) - but last night I guess he really needed that bread. Hope you are feeling better.