First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you're have some hard times. I don't have any advice as far as a life coach but I think you have the right idea about starting with one thing at a time. Pick one room of your house and start there. Once you see progress, I bet you will be motivated to continue. Good luck!

I'm sorry, I don't know what a "Life Coach" is. Can someone tell me? I myself do not like housework and tend to let things slide and then have to deal with a humungus amount of clutter. Then I just pick one room and start working for half an hour at a time. Soon I get motivated to "git r done". Hopefully you will too.
Dee in Michigan

dee-I have not used a life coach but as I understand it they help by helping you set goals and setting up steps to reach those goals. That might be over simplifying it but I believe that describes it. I believe that in years gone by that back yard neighbors, family members etc could make a difference in ones life but that now everyone seems to live in their own space not really involving themselves in others lives. Maybe that is why we have so many people being paid (life coaches, psycologists etc) helping people find their way in the world. Kind of a sad commentary.

That is sad isn't it? With no one coming to visit, or just to drop by to say hello, there's not much motivation to keep the house up. I am lucky in that my husband does most of the hard work, but I still don't like to do even the minimal things. I'm a heart patient and have Diabetes complicated by Neuropathy in my hands and feet. Sometimes I can't lift things because the neuropathy makes my hands numb and I drop whatever I'm trying to pick up. I wish you the best of luck.

You know, we KTers love to give advice, so you'll probably have dozens of life coaches here! LOL--just kidding, but I'm glad you posted.

I'm sorry you lost your husband. Honestly, I think you seem depressed and lonely. If you can fix those problems, then you can tackle the house. First, I think you should get a physical check-up to be sure you are healthy or are addressing health problems. Be sure to mention your state of mind to the doctor so he will have a full understanding of your situation.

I have a feeling you have nothing in your life that you look forward to. Am I right? Do you go to movies with friends, lunch with a girlfriend, gardening, walk the dog, church or volunteer activities, hobbies? You need to be happier, then you can tackle the house with enthusiasm. Also, I know changing jobs is very difficult, but you might just keep your eye out for another job.

Could you go for a walk after work? Even starting at 15 minutes down and back, adding on each day. Physical activity can really help when you are feeling low. You can change your diet little by little, cutting portions or eliminating "bad stuff." Instead of being in front of TV, tell yourself that you are going to work on one room for a set length of time (1/2 hour or whatever). Do that every evening. That way it doesn't seem so overwhelming.

Call the high school and ask about teens looking for work. Have someone come, maybe a few hours every Sat., and just start working on the cleaning, removing of things for trash or donation.

Remember, you are a strong, independent woman, but you've just hit a rough place in your life. I know you can pull things together. Best wishes.

Susan

Satine...it sounds like you may be depressed. The past few years have demanded so much of you physically and emotionally, that you've been riding that "have to get things done" for so long....that right now, you've just deflated, out of energy.

Rather than a life coach, ask your family doctor or call your county health services for the name of a doctor to evaluate you for depression. Don't just ask for a prescription, any pills(or take any that are offered by them)....just the name of a medical professional to whom you can lay out you're situation, and suggest a solution.

I feel you know that you just can't "snap out of it"...you're overwhelmed.

I am trying to post a follow up but am being told to pick a new subject. Hope this posts. Want to thank everyone for their input and let you know that I agree-there is some depression involved here. My dr. just restarted my meds which I realize that I need along with all the other advise offered here-exercise, new interests etc. I want to let you know that just hearing some words of encouragement here means so much. Socks-you had some good advise and alot of insight. Of course in reality I know all this but hearing (reading) it reminds me of how important these things are. Thanks to all

satine, i'm giving you a goal...

tonight, i want you to clear off the coffee table while you're watching tv. get 2 bags, one for trash and one for bills or dirty dishes. throw out anything that's not a bill. you're never going to order out of that catalog or reread that last letter.

instead of that soft drink, get a glass of water.

let us know how that went! i'll join you, except i have to wash my clothes. (hid the coffee table behind the sofa last christmas and it's still there (empty, lol!)

Please call and get an appt. with your Dr. You sound so depressed and it sounds like you've been through a lot.

You won't believe what the right anti-depressant can do for you. Please don't procrastinate. Do it today!

Susan, what a novel idea... hiding the catch all coffee table! I like it.

I on the other hand, have made GREAT progress by leaving the kitchen eating counter as well as the dining room table empty of STUFF.

Today I need to finish putting the stuff away in my desk. Remember, I moved not to long ago, and I finally emptied the boxes that were sitting by my desk. That stuff came from my other desk, in the last house.

This desk is smaller, and I have to get creative to get everything put away.

I'll let you know, how it went.

Satine, I think you are getting great advice here, let us know how it works for you.

Moni

Susanjf-you are a riot! You sure gave me a good laugh. I accept your challange and will use your idea about the two bags. I wont, however, throw any dishes away. Im a dishaholic and it would be a sin to ever throw a dish away.
Mammie, I am on medication but it has only been less than two weeks and it takes a while for it to reach the right level. Just knowing I have a weekend is helpful. Working 5 days a week is really draining me so that by Friday Im pretty worn out. I'll try to have a mix of physical activity, mental activity and social activity this weekend and hopefully get some extra rest. Thanks to all of you kind ladies. Satine

Hi Satine,

Thank you for having the courage to not only face the problem yourself, but for having the courage to come here to share it.

I have a little less enthusiasm for the idea of doing a half hour or an hour daily (unless you think that you can handle that big a slice, all at once).

Do you know at what time in the week you may have some more of a light-hearted feeling than usual? Especially if you have some more energy then, as well.

How about setting up a plan now that you will work for an hour, or a half hour, at some project to help improve things in your home, a bit above the ordinary needs?

Something that will show up, that you will see every day (e.g. clean the fridge) and appreciate having made that achievement.

Then make a date with yourself now that you will do that thing at that time, next week. Look forward to it in the time until the day arrives - plan the stuff that you'll need, check whether all of the things you'll need are on hand, etc. Maybe even if you're feeling ambitious, enthusiastic, etc. at some time prior to the time you've made a date with yourself for the main job, start on a small portion of it, e.g. wash one shelf, sort out the stuff in one drawer, etc.

Each morning as you prepare for the day, look in the mirror in the bathroom, give yourself a smile - and a wink - and tell yourself that things are looking up, around here. That you're starting out on a new facet of your life.

I have a question.

Some years ago when I was member of a Parents Without Partners group, another group from a couple of provinces away (quite a long distance: our provinces are big) wrote our group to ask whether we'd give them a welcome if they came to our part of the country. With the suggestion that we might like to visit them, near the Atlantic coast, at a later time. We replied that we'd love to host them, so they came for a week, and we shared our homes, and showed them the sights, including a trip to Niagara. Quite a number of rather warm friendships were formed.

At a party near the end of their stay, several casual groups were gathered, talking. I don't remember the subject under discussion in a group where I was, but I smiled at one young Mom, held out my hand to her and, when she took it, led her to the bathroom, asking her to look at herself in the mirror. She found it hard to do so. I asked her whether she loved the person that she saw there ... and she said, not very much. I thanked her for being so honest, and told her that I'd felt that way some time before, but felt that God loved me, despite all of my shortcomings ... and that if He could love me, that I could love myself - and that if I were to get along well in life, would need to learn to do so.

I told her that she was a valuable person, as everyone is, and worthy of love.

She thanked me and we returned to the group.

When they were ready to depart, she gave me a big smile and we gave each other a hug ... many such were exchanged, but I felt that there was something special about ours: I'm sure that she felt that way, as well: she thanked me for having spoken to her as I had.

My question: do you love yourself?

If you can't love yourself ... you'll find it difficult to summon up energy and enthusiasm enough to love others much, either.

Is there someone that you've known casually that you feel that you'd like to get to know better?

How about getting together for coffee and some conversation, some time before long? Or, if that person isn't much interested, making a similar approach to someone else?

Do you have relatives that are reasonably friendly, that you get along well with? How about becoming a bit closer to one or two of them, as a start on building a renewed interest in various aspects of a life that you're going to like better?

Please feel free to come back here to talk whenever you feel like it - there are some good people, friendly folks, with good ideas that usually help us look at issues from a variety of useful viewoints, here.

Good wishes as you work toward building a more interesting, productive, happier future.

ole joyful

P.S. Satin has that shiny sheen about it - you are attractive, too - and can become more attractive as each day goes by, as well.

o j

Joyfulguy, thank you so much for your uplifting post. You are right that at times I don't really feel particularly attractive or like myself much. I think like many others I am probably my own worst critic and get a bit upset with myself when I can't seem to get it together. I have a wonderful sister who I talk with often but don't see as much as I would like because she is about 2 1/2 hours away. I have several friends who I met years ago through a bereavement group and we continue to see each other socially about every 2 weeks or so. One thing I have read in several of these posts is the idea of starting small-little projects or even little pieces of projects and building up. I know that is the way to go or things will seem too large to tackle. I am taking Susanif's suggestion and starting with the coffee table (in my case the kitchen table). Wish me luck and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Satine

I think Socks said it best. She gave you some very good advice. I hope it helps.

Linda

One of my old bosses became a Life Coach when she retired. I never quite understood what she was be doing but I think I may have been one of her "guinea pigs" LOL. She is one of the friends that steered me toward graduate school and the PhD program.

Best of luck,
Janie

Satine...glad you got a chuckle from Susanjf as I did. (Isn't it amazing how much better a chuckle can make you feel?) Wow, she's a taskmaster for sure!! Now you let us know about that table project!

As for a life coach, maybe it would help, but I think you can do this yourself and come out of it being stronger than ever.

Glad to hear you are getting the medical care you need. Do pay attention to your body and watch for side affects of any new meds. If something new or different is going on, ask the doctor about it.

Have a good weekend.

Hi Satine....
I got through my rough patches with the help of family and friends. If just one person can come over one night and start to help you clean out one room, or one closet,I think that you would start to feel better and it would push you to start doing something small each day. I for one, usually do more when someone is "pushing" me.
ÂYou mentioned that your Mom was probably looking down on you and saying "Just get it done". I found that whenever things were bad, I thought about what my Mom and Dad would be saying if they were here, and just because I love them so much, it would push me to try to accomplish anything I could.....large or small.
If you have raised a teenager alone, you are certainly a strong willed person. Maybe you are just zapped of energy right now, so do something good for yourself, like getting a massage or a pedicure or going out to eat with friends.
You did mention that you were on medication, so you have to give it time to build up in your system and start working.
Be good to yourself. You deserve it. If you want down time, pick a night a week to be a "slug" and just come home from work, put on pj's and watch TV.
Another thing I did was to write in a journal whenever I was feeling down. It really helped me to focus when I would re-read what I wrote a few days later.
Good Luck and please keep us posted.

Declansmom, thanks for reminding me about journaling. I used to do that and you are right-it helps. Ok, so my goal for this weekend is to pick a spot to clean, take the dog (not my dog but Im dog sitting while my daughter is on her honeymoon) for a walk and go to visit my grand children for a bit on Saturday. That sounds like a well rounded weekend and thank you all for the encouragment. Satine

You now have a great cheering section to keep you motivated. I am going to join you in clearing "my" little table in the family room...Right now! Good luck to us both! Nanny

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. One of the things that have helped me is Yoga. Yoga is non-competitive so don't worry about 'not keeping up'. There are different of schools of Yoga so find the one that best fits you needs. Yoga will physically rejuvenate your body and help your mood. You may be able to find Yoga classes at a very inexpensive price offered by your local recreation department.

Check out the FlyLady site to help keep you organized and on track. Flylady will send you emails to keep you paced. It is all free. No spam. Lots of good tips on their site. Lots of motivational skills taught.

Check out the *Organizing Forum* here at GW. People there try to support each other in their efforts to organize their homes and their lives.

Learn to say no to social events that you know will stress you and drain your energy, You don't have to 'be there' for everyone else. Conversely, make sure you do have some social time with other people doing something you really want to do. For me, I joined a book reading club. Not everyone's cup of tea of course, but find just one thing that you enjoy and make a commitment to it. If you schedule your social time with specific events to attend, you will find that you will make the effort to get out of the house. Find a solitary pursuit that you enjoy to add into the mix. For me it is gardening.

Tackle your organizing one thing at a time. Do just one drawer or just the floors. Don't plan a big project like 'cleaning out the basement' or it may become overwhelming. FlyLady can explain it better than I can. I would not waste money on a life coach when you can get advice and support here or from numerous other sites.

hey satine! it's late but i did get my laundry done and it's in the dryer, lol (12:30, lol) and i did finish my bottle of water! don't have to fold til the am. thought about you and emptied the dishwasher, too. will fill it later...

now reward yourself later. what i do...get in the car, go to walmart and walk. we have one of those supersized ones so it takes me a while...sometimes i'll buy food for us, or just look at what's new, and go home with nothing...

health wise, if you do go to the store, try something you've never had or havn't had in long time...tonight they suggested everyone should have yogurt since it helps in the up-coming flu season...

a good saturday goal is your lr floor. mine needs to be vac'ed...take care!

Susanjf, I made it through the weekend and actually accomplished a few things on Saturday. I did some laundry and cleaned the kitchen then spent some time with my daughter and grandchildren. We didn't do anything special but I tagged along with them as they did errands. Sunday was another story-didn't accomplish anything but did spend time reading a good book. I took the dog for a short walk and caught up with a friend on the phone. All in all I think it was a good weekend. I am hoping to go back to Weight watchers this week because when Im on the program it gives me a feeling of control and some weeks success (and others not so much!). Thanks again for all your help and thanks to others who took time to respond. Satine

My Life Coach needs to tell me to schedule things better.

I told my good friend to go ahead and come this week, cause the fair is going on, and she likes to go to it (she lives 120 miles away, and will stay till Friday). Thus, Helen is coming on Wednesday.

Well, I didn't get the Friday chores done, long story... but the end result sucks.

I have a power point lesson in Tulsa tomorrow, and want to leave to go there today. Got to see my "pretend" grand baby, she is standing up now. And want to leave here so I get in to neither rush hour traffic.

Then I need to weed in the Tulsa yard, and come back sometime on Wednesday before 5.

Meanwhile, the washer is going (Monday chores) and I still have to vacuum (Friday chores).

The inflate-a-bed is finally patched.

So, what's going on? Why am I still here?

LOL, just wanted to let you know, sometimes we all fall behind.

Now I'll get outta here, and with it.

bye

Moni

I met Life Coach Sally Felton at a seminar last spring and liked her a lot. She has a radio spot (I've not listened to it) and she also has a regular email that she sends out (in addition to the other things listed on her site).

Suqieque

so glad you had a good time with family...we got rained out both days, so no grand pick me up...
ds2 is doing very well on weightwatchers (dil isn't) and has lost about 30 lbs since he got married...hope you do get a meeting in. that's just as important as house cleaning...

i managed to get my car part today, mailed dgd out of state her bday present. for my midnight wandering, dishes...(dh calls me vampira, since i don't sleep thru the night, lol)