How do you cheer someone up? (pic)

15 years ago

My DH is really down in the dumps. He has never been away from the kids and I for more than a couple of weeks.

I think being homesick is overwhelming him. The heat, conditions and being worried about us are really taking a toll.

When he calls or emails me I try to let him know we're fine and boost his morale. But hearing the pain in his voice is hard for me and I think he can tell that in MY voice. And then I seem to have a loss of words.

How do you cheer someone up? What do you say?

Could I also ask you to say a little prayer for my DH and all the other men /women in our Armed Forces please.

Susan

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (18)

Linda Wayman
15 years ago
Susan, I say prayers for our men and women in armed forces daily. I will say a special prayer for you and your dh. He sure is handsome.
As far as cheering him up, well, that's difficult to do under your circumstances. All I can think of is to keep letting him know you love him and miss him and will be waiting for him with open arms.

Also tell him after posting his picture he now has a new fan club!!! What is his name ( first name only here please ) and how long will it be before he comes home.
Many thanks to both of you for your sacrifices.

Linda
foggyj
15 years ago
Add my name to Linda's post! (She said just whatI would have said)
Related Discussions
How am I doing? *pics* and When to pot up?
Q
Comments (4)
I used lots of 2-inch pots, but they were also about 2.5 inches deep. More sprouted than not. So probably depth is important. I had to drain flooded trays during and after rain pretty often and had soggy pots, too. Many of the bigger ones (milk jugs and juice cartons) I didn't put in trays, just on the bare ground. That meant I had to water those more frequently, and what I started doing for the sprouted ones just before planting time was rotate them into and out of trays to water them. It's my first year, too, and I banked an entire relandscape/partial lawn removal on it. Nearly 400 containers, many were the 6-pack 2-inch, some were 2-inch peat pots (not plugs), and many more were empty milk and juice cartons and milk cartons. The past few weeks I removed the sod, dug and amended the new beds (clay/rock here), and planted just about everything. Just finished culling the ones I've given up on and still have dozens of containers hoping for a spot in my garden. They're all about the same size as what's in your containers, some a little smaller, but with true leaves.
...See More
How do you grieve someone that's not passed?
Q
Comments (3)
Bless you and the others who care for her. Your love for her is shown by your commitment to her after such a long time. It must be extremely difficult to care for her as a living loved one, but have to accept that she might have no awareness of you. Just the same, I would continue talking to her as though she hears and understands you, because that can't be known with 100% certainty. So I think you're wise to not say anything or act in any way in her presence that alludes to the fact that she is 'not really there' or that you are mourning the loss of the woman you knew. But I would talk often to her other caregivers and cry or do whatever helps you all cope when NOT in her presence, because you certainly do need to acknowledge the huge void her 'absence' has caused in all your lives. It is so sad when a sudden tragedy like that changes someone's life so drastically, especially since she had just accomplished so much. I know it's not really a solution to your question of how you can cope, but I just wanted to assure you that your gift of love and commitment to her is uplifting, even though she cannot acknowledge you herself.
...See More
for someone that cannot visualize how do you figure out finishes
Q
Comments (6)
I would certainly not describe myself as someone who is sure of herself regarding design (I just got my living and dining rooms painted after about five years of paint samples taped to the walls) but this is what I did (I did not have a KD, for what that's worth): I spent a long time years Â tearing pictures out of magazines (now I also save copies of pictures with elements I like from websites I browse). I saved the pictures (along with pictures I tagged in books) and when it came time to do the kitchen I went through them all and narrowed the stack down to ones I really liked. In some cases, it was a whole look or feeling and in other cases it was some specific thing, tile or a wood color or some other design feature. My husband and I also went on our local American Institute of Architects home tour every year (it also helped that for 10 years I was the editor of an architecture magazine but I'm a writer not, as I said, a designer. But that job did teach me to read plans and gave me an ability to visualize those two-dimensional drawings as three-dimensional spaces. So that was definitely a plus). In my case, I ended up with image after image of stained wood, Shaker-style doors, green tile (and more and more and more green tile), and dark counters. We knew we wanted matte black counters (although we were thinking honed black granite until I found GW; we ended up with soapstone). Oh and we love metal: galvanized, stainless, natural steel. So we wanted some of that. So those were our starting points. And that's pretty much what we ended up with: natural white oak Shaker cabinets, brushed nickel hardware, soapstone, butcher block, a black steel counter, and some other steel accents, stainless appliances. Oh and a green tile backsplash. I have a cart that slides into a spot under the counter, an idea I'd torn out of a magazine, and a bookcase built of steel uprights and butcher block, from another picture I'd saved and gave to our carpenter. I can't say I never lay awake worrying about how it was going to look. I did. Many nights. And every time a new element went into place I thought maybe I'd messed the whole thing up. But lots of time thinking about what we wanted before we started, lots of poring over magazines and books and websites, made me pretty sure of what I liked and of what elements it would take to create the kitchen I wanted. Sorry for going on so long. I have no idea if any of it's helpful. I came to GW after many of our decisions were made but I think there's much to be said for the Sweeby test: how do you want your kitchen to feel, how are the various elements contributing to that feel. The idea of writing a mission statement for your kitchen seems like a good one and I guess that's basically what I did with all my pictures. There must be many ways that people end up with the beautiful kitchens I see here on GW (certainly much more refined kitchens than mine) but our process worked for us and we ended up with a kitchen that, two years later, I still marvel over and love.
...See More
how do I cheer up this dark garden level apartment?
Q
Comments (31)
The sofa I bought is this one from Ethan Allen. The upholstery is called “stone” but when I picked it out it read more “camel” to me (up close the pattern is a very small herringbone with tan and really light gray threads— from a distance I guess that looks like stone). I know I probably should’ve gone with something “slimmer” like a midcentury modern sofa, but I will (sadly) be spending a lot of time on this sofa so I want it to be comfortable. I’m guessing I should find thin legged tables to offset the heaviness of the sofa. It’s 78 inches wide so it’s not huge or extremely deep.
...See More
Kathsgrdn
15 years ago
I will say a prayer for your dh and all the others serving overseas. I hope he stays safe.
Kathsgrdn
15 years ago
I forgot to mention ways to cheer him up. Having been in the service myself, nothing was better than getting letters from family and friends. I guess it's e-mails now.
FlamingO in AR
15 years ago
I have no words of wisdom, but wanted to say thanks to you and to him, both, for supporting our country the way you do.

And be sure to tell him he's just too handsome for words, even with his face squinched up at the camera person! Woohoo, SueQue! Your hubby is a hottie.

Oh, I thought of something, try to remember the things that happen with the kids during the day that made you laugh, because chances are, they'll make him laugh a little, too. And let him know that while you miss him so much, you're sure this is just going to make his homecoming and life afterwards even sweeter!

(((((SueQue and DH)))))
mrsmarv
15 years ago
Add my name to those who say a daily prayer for our men and women in the armed forces. They are truly special people. Bless you and your DH...and he sure is a cutie-pie! You should send him this link to make him smile ;o)
lydia1959
15 years ago
Maybe you could get a big bunch of KTers to send funny 'thinking of you' or uplifting cards to you and then you could send them all together over to him? If you have time to do that and if you think he wouldn't mind.

I'd be willing to send a card.

Letters and drawings from your kids would probably cheer him up too!
Linda Wayman
15 years ago
Lydia, I think that's a wonderful idea.

Linda
mimi_boo
15 years ago
We could all send cards to one location, add some of his favorite things and send a care package? Anyone game?
Linda Wayman
15 years ago
Count me in!!!
itsmesuzq
15 years ago
Count me in!! On all the ideas of the other KTers.

Susan please let him know that we think of all the men and women who are serving as "warriors with wings"...they are angels in their own right - truly a step above, solid, brave and oh so special. And that includes their families who wait back home for their safe return!

~Susan
jannie
15 years ago
My father, brother and husband are all veterans, so anyone who serves his/her country has a special place in my heart! Tell your honey his KT girlfriends are all praying for him.
wanda_va
15 years ago
I will certainly say prayers for him (and for you), as I remember our military heroes in my prayers each day. My father is a WWII vet; DH is a Vietnam-era vet, so I also have a special place in my heart for those who serve our great country.

Please include me in any activity that is chosen on behalf of Susan's DH.
sueque67
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you all for listening!
For those who don't know my DH (Matt), some months back he decided to get a job through Dyncorp. He is a police Officer and thought teaching Afphganistan Police would be a wonderful experience for him.
He would work a year then get back on with the Police Force but instead he reinlisted in the Army because he felt he always had the Military in his blood. I suppose he will now retire from this career.
I support him 100% but also have been through this before and know what is involved.
He will be back at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri August 18th. But can't come (our) home to NC until Oct.9th.
I am hoping I can drive (long distance drives, scare me) up there with my two sons to see him when he is back.
It seems the closer to this date the more he would feel better but he seems to think the days are getting longer and it will never come. His morale is very low right now.
He is also worried because we WERE going to be stationed in Texas so I was preparing to sell the house but found out last month that we would not know for sure until the end of Sept.
Now we are stuck waiting and wondering what to do. He could be stationed here at Ft Bragg and we wouldnt have to move, which would be great since we live about 30 minutes from the base. We just don't know yet.
I am already tired of the Army motto "Hurry up and wait".

If I may ask anyone that has been through this, how do you go about moving in a short amount of time having owning a home. The first time around we didn't own a house. I know we can't sell our home in a month ( if we have to move). Homes are not selling at all around here. And we cannot afford to keep paying payments here in NC while living somewhere else.
Susan
socks
15 years ago
"Laughter is the best medicine," but it's not always easy to deliver that medicine. Sometimes nothing is funny. If you can think of something that happened even moderately funny, a chuckle is always good.

Susan, your family is in my thoughts and prayers. The uncertainty is so difficult, isn't it? Best wishes to you all. Everything will be OK, it just takes time.
wildchild
15 years ago
I believe that best thing you can do for your DH is to keep up a positive attitude at your end and let him know YOU and FAMILY will get through this just fine although you miss him very much.

Instead of focusing on your fear of the long drive focus on the end result. You may find you love road trips after all. Driving long distances is no different that driving short distances. Just allow yourself plenty of time for rests along the way.
You can't change that fact that you miss each other but you can ease the worry.

Perhaps your conversations turn to the future and all the unknowns too much. Focus your conversations and email on today. You love him, you miss him, you are OK. You are so proud of him. Today the boys....

Kudos to you DH for giving his time to his country.
patti43
15 years ago
Wish I could cheer both of you up. Separations are so hard on family life. Another old army motto: We issued you a rifle, not a wife.

Isn't there a department (or something like that) on post that helps with house sales when soldiers are relocated? You might ask around about that. Seems like they used to have that but I haven't been around the military since the mid-60's and things have changed a ton since then.

I'd take that trip ASAP when he gets to Missouri. Bet he (and you) would feel a whole lot better. Get maps and plot your route. Stop at rest areas and let the kids run and don't try to drive too many hours a day. Have fun!!!

p.s. He really is a hunk!!
pfllh
15 years ago
I thought the military had changed in orders to give you more time. He can check with personnel and see when he'll get his new orders.
If it is true you will get short notice, is it a temporary duty station or permanent? If permanent, what about housing on the next base? I really don't know how the army does things as my husband is retired air force and my son-in-law is a commander in the navy. They all do things a little differently.
If you have to move and can't sell your home, you may want to look into hiring a property management company and rent your house out. They would, or are supposed to keep an eye on the house, check out people that want to rent, and collect the rent money. Then send you the money after they get their payment. I'd rent it for at least $100 over the house payment plus the mgmt co's charge to cover your expenses plus a little extra in the event repairs need done. If you get reassigned you still will have the house payment, house insurance for just the house, taxes, etc. Then too look at what houses in your area are renting for that are similar to your house.
I sincerely hope it all works out for your family.
Lynn

How do you cheer someone up? (pic)

Comments (18)

Linda Wayman

foggyj

Related Discussions

Kathsgrdn

Kathsgrdn

FlamingO in AR

mrsmarv

lydia1959

Linda Wayman

mimi_boo

Linda Wayman

itsmesuzq

jannie

wanda_va

sueque67
Original Author

socks

wildchild

patti43

pfllh

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

How do you cheer someone up? (pic)

Comments (18)

Related Discussions

sueque67Original Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

sueque67
Original Author