rdas, Have you thougt about lighting? In my kitchen the lighting effects the color of my paint. My cabinets are a shade or so warmer than the bright trim throughout the rest of my house. But, the lighting that comee in from the windows changes the color of the cabinets throughout the day. Slightly of course. And at night the glow from the undercab lighting and the accent lighting also has an effect. My paints appear so close they look like they match. Only I know because I ordered different paint colors. Can I see a difference up close? Not really and this may be because they are by the same paint manufacturer and truly just a shade appart. You will be in a different situation because my cabs are painted and yours are custom ordered. I can only imagine the stress you are under trying to match. I also have the factor of the The Tan Coat wall paint color draws the eye away from whites fighting with each other. Sorry there are pieces of trim missing in this pic. Still trying to finish the kitchen. I hope this can give you an idea that whatever you do choose will probably be closer than you realize. You have excellent taste and I know your kitchen will be amazing. ~boxerpups

Finally made a decision! Had a color consultant from the painting company come out and look at paint samples and tile. Decided an off-white cabinet vs white would look best based on the rest of the kitchen and house. Picked the tile we liked best and the BM Maritime White we originally picked for cabinets and walls. We'll use the same white trim I have in the rest of the house. There's enough of a contrast where it looks good and that's what I've done with the rest of the house --and consistent with the decor style. My 1926 house has a lot of nice moldings, large baseboards, and trim and we show it off!

This is the combo I have thru out my house - Alabaster walls and Extra White trim. I love it in every room.

@Stephanie Billadeau - I won't tell you that gray is wrong or that beige or taupe or greige is right. The truth is that there is no perfect neutral that works for everyone. I started my color journey about 20 years ago when I had a color dilemma that I couldn't solve on my own. I found a mentor that helped me find the right colors. I was also working in the mental health field while I was looking for colors for my house and became fascinated with the impact of color on our mood. Since you have not begun painting your home I would like to ask you to take a step back before making any color decisions. I may also be saving you several decades in getting your home perfect for you. What I have learned over the past 20 years. There are colors that bring us joy. There is a connection between happy memories and the colors we associate with those memories. Seeing those colors actually raises the amount of dopamine in our system and makes us feel happier. (When we are depressed and dopamine is reduced we see less color - everything is less colorful and we say we feel blue, but we are actually feeling gray). For most women these colors that bring us joy are the same colors that look good on us. My sisters and I are all over 60. By this time in our lives we have figured all this out and each of our homes is decorated with colors we love (Colors that complement our skin tones, eye color and hair color). We have also figured out our style. I have not studied furniture style vs personality type, but there seems to be a pretty strong connection. I can look at the homes that my siblings live in and understand why they chose the colors and furniture styles. It fits their personality. Without going through my entire large family I will give you just a couple of examples. I am a winter, dark eyes, dark hair, fair skin- burns, does not tan. I am also a manager of a team of data analysts who analyze data quality. By nature I am an introvert - too many people exhausts me. I like numbers and colors and animals and nature. I look good in clear, bright colors, especially reds and purples. My closet is filled with large patterns or solids or a solid shirt with a large flower or animal graphic. It should not be surprising that I am drawn to MCM furnishings, clean lines, solid colors, not a lot of patterns or anything overly busy and the prominent accent colors are teal, purple and red. The neutral that I picked for my home is taupe - gray with a bit of beige that leans purple and my white is a very clean white. My sister made her living studying consumer insights. Very outgoing, quick wit, extrovert, charismatic. Extravert - People energize her. She is a fall - medium brown hair, brown eyes and an olive skin tone that tans easily, never burns. She picks clothing with much smaller, busier patterns than I do and has a lot of muted colors that make me look sick. Her home is an eclectic mix of Antique Queen Anne furnishings and industrial pieces. Her accent colors are greens, golds, orange reds. Her neutral is Moss - a gray beige with a green undertone. My sister-in-law is blond haired, fair skinned with blue eyes. She was a stay at home mom until her kids were grown and now works at a jewelry store. She is a mild extravert - likes people, but doesn't feed off of their energy like my sister. Her home is decorated with country style, oak furnishings. She has cornflower blue and peach as her accent colors and cream as her neutral with a creamy white. Being one of 6 kids and being married to a man who was one of 7 kids I have had the opportunity to look at dozens of homes belonging to people who I know intimately and see how their styles and colors are influenced by their coloring and their personality. I think when we are young we are strongly influenced by current trends and what is popular rather than look inward at who we are and what we love. Can I ask what colors make your heart sing / bring you joy? Do those colors - the one's you want to incorporate into your color scheme work beautifully with gray? Do you wear a lot of gray? Do they work with the trim color you have?